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Bearded Lady
- Narrated by: Mara Altman
- Length: 1 hr and 20 mins
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Publisher's summary
Mara Altman, author of the best-selling Kindle Single Sparkle, returns to top comic form to address the problem every woman faces but no woman wants to acknowledge: facial and body hair. Her brave, witty memoir gives readers a rare, honest glimpse into the hidden world of lasers and razors. It begins in childhood, when Altman discovers that hair sometimes grows in unexpected places - and that it's best to remove it immediately, or risk ridicule from 8th-grade girls. It continues into early adulthood, when romantically inclined men make offhand remarks about her fine coating of fur. From there it's a hilarious, heartfelt journey from Barcelona to Bangkok in search of a cure, an explanation, and the perfect pair of tweezers.
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Why I Hate Green Beans
- And Other Confessions About Relationships, Reality TV, and How We See Ourselves
- By: Lincee Ray
- Narrated by: Lincee Ray
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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If there is one thing Lincee Ray has learned over the years, it's that the majority of women on the planet struggle with insecurities. Our skinny jeans mock us. Our just-trying-to-help mothers are just driving us crazy. Our social media feeds taunt us with everyone else's picture-perfect lives. It's enough to send you on a gummy-bear bender while binge-watching Friends reruns and not showering for a week. Lincee knows. She's been there. Right there, in fact. Gummy bears and all.
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Perfect in every way!
- By Anonymous User on 10-19-22
By: Lincee Ray
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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Your Voice in My Head
- A Memoir
- By: Emma Forrest
- Narrated by: Emma Forrest
- Length: 5 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Emma Forrest, a British journalist, was just 22 and living the fast life in New York City when she realized that her quirks had gone beyond eccentricity. In a cycle of loneliness, damaging relationships, and destructive behavior, she found herself in the chair of a slim, balding, and effortlessly optimistic psychiatrist--a man whose wisdom and humanity would wrench her from the dangerous tide after she tried to end her life.
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Great, quick read
- By Amazon Customer on 02-12-21
By: Emma Forrest
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Private Citizens
- By: Tony Tulathimutte
- Narrated by: Pete Cross
- Length: 12 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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The story's four whip-smart narrators - idealistic Cory, Internet-lurking Will, awkward Henrik, and vicious Linda - are torn between fixing the world and cannibalizing it. In boisterous prose that ricochets between humor and pain, the four estranged friends stagger through the Bay Area's maze of tech startups, protestors, gentrifiers, karaoke bars, house parties, and cultish self-help seminars, washing up in each other's lives once again.
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Too dour and cynical.
- By Zanriel on 01-18-17
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The Book of Help
- A Memoir in Remedies
- By: Megan Griswold
- Narrated by: Megan Griswold
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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A hilarious and heartbreaking memoir-in-remedies by a self-described "professional soul-searcher" that details a journey of self-discovery through more than 160 tonics, seminars, regimens, and transformative therapies. With a voice that is at once intimate and hilarious, Megan captures the openness and honesty necessary for people to take a new path in life. Listeners will open the audiobook with curiosity about all the different healing therapies that Megan tries, but leave with a new understanding of themselves.
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Mr. Toad's Wild Ride has some serious competition!
- By Elisa R. Goodman on 02-15-19
By: Megan Griswold
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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Victorian Secrets
- What a Corset Taught Me about the Past, the Present, and Myself
- By: Sarah A. Chrisman
- Narrated by: Kristin Kalbli
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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On Sarah A. Chrisman's 29th birthday, her husband, Gabriel, presented her with a corset. The material and the design were breathtakingly beautiful, but her mind immediately filled with unwelcome views. Although she had been in love with the Victorian era all her life, she had specifically asked her husband not to buy her a corset - ever. She'd heard how corsets affected the female body and what they represented, and she wanted none of it.
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Exploration of Vanity
- By Sara on 09-08-14
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Nappily Ever After
- A Novel
- By: Trisha R. Thomas
- Narrated by: Lisa Reneé Pitts
- Length: 9 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Venus Johnston has a great job and a long-term, live-in boyfriend who happens to be a drop-dead gorgeous doctor. She also has a weekly beauty-parlor date to keep her long, nappy hair slick and straight. But the tedious hours and harsh chemicals in the salon have long grated on Venus. One frustrating day, she trades in the long hair for a dramatically short, natural cut and sends her commitment-balking boyfriend packing. It's a bold declaration of independence and one that has effects she never could have imagined.
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Great
- By Laura K. on 08-21-09
By: Trisha R. Thomas
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Tiger, Tiger
- A Memoir
- By: Margaux Fragoso
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 12 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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One summer day, Margaux Fragoso meets Peter Curran at the neighborhood swimming pool, and they begin to play. She is seven; he is 51. When Peter invites her and her mother to his house, the little girl finds a child’s paradise of exotic pets and an elaborate backyard garden. Her mother, beset by mental illness and overwhelmed by caring for Margaux, is grateful for the attention Peter lavishes on her, and he creates an imaginative universe for her, much as Lewis Carroll did for his real-life Alice.
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a weirdly loving diatribe against pervs.
- By Dane Flakeman on 05-21-11
By: Margaux Fragoso
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Get Lucky
- By: Katherine Center
- Narrated by: Morgan Hallett
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Filled with wit and heart, Get Lucky by Katherine Center explores the deep bonds of sisterhood. Sarah Harper’s whole world revolved around her job at a New York advertising agency before an email snafu got her fired. Now she’s seeking refuge at her sister Mackie’s home in Houston. But Mackie, who’s unable to get pregnant, is also down-and-out these days. So Sarah decides to do something good and becomes a surrogate mother.
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Finding what matters most in life
- By bizymom7 on 10-12-24
By: Katherine Center
What listeners say about Bearded Lady
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Alexandra
- 05-23-13
Hilarious pursuit to be less hirsuit
Would you consider the audio edition of Bearded Lady to be better than the print version?
I have not read the print version, but I think I would have preferred to listen. I like Mara's voice, and I wish she would narrate other works as well!
Have you listened to any of Mara Altman’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
I have not yet, but intend to do so!
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
I laughed at parts, and all in all related to her anxiety and struggle with hairiness. As a woman of eastern European descent myself, I've had my fair share of mortifying and memorable moments in my effort to remove unwanted hair.
Any additional comments?
This book was an enjoyable listen, and I definitely recommend it. It tackled the sensitive issue of women's body image in a clever and funny way, without being preachy.
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- Sophia Rose
- 10-11-18
Humorous Anecdotes and Explanation About Hair
I enjoyed a review over on Stephanie @ Fangs Wands and Fairydust blog about a newer release from this author. Her humorous approach to both positive body image and explanation about body functions, particularly the unsightly ones, sparked my interest. I discovered she had written this similar, short sampling of the same topic already. I chose to experience it on audio with the author doing her own narration.
This sampling is about body hair on women though body hair in general gets a bit of the focus. She starts off with a poignant, humorous narrative about her young teen self discovering that having body hair anywhere that is not approved by the society norm can mark you among your peers. She goes on to share how she spent a great amount of time after that eradicating, mostly with the help of pros before one day on the brink of marriage, she stops to wonder why she- and women in general- are forced to remove all that hair to be considered acceptable and even beautiful. She consulted those who studied it scientifically, anthropologically, and even consulted women who lead and follow current beauty trends. The results were mixed and unsatisfactory with nothing definitive she could latch onto. It all came down to self, really. Self and finding another accepting person in the man she was with- and, he was more than accepting of her just the way she was.
Without brow beating a person, I liked the mix of personal anecdote, actual research, and the willingness to tackle a not so pretty subject about female humans- body hair. She's willing to ask the questions that most of us have thought about, but in no way want to bring up even among family, friends, and significant others. I liked her style and would read/listen to more of her works.
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- Erin - Audible
- 01-27-14
Emergency. Tweezers.
Mara Altman deftly tackles the extremely taboo first world problem of hair removal in modern America.
Of COURSE I don't want you to know about my unmentionable hairs. It's obvious I have arm hair, and sometimes I give up on my pits and legs for a few months at time because lalala I can wear tights and longsleeves, and I am Staunchly Feminist about my lower region. But I have parts you don't know about. Emergency tweezers in my purse.
We don't talk about this. EVER. We never talk about emergency tweezers, and Mara Altman WANTS TO TALK ABOUT IT. And it's a beautiful thing.
I wish we lived in a society where this was not a big deal. But if we did, then I wouldn't be able to listen to Mara's hilarious exploration of our culture, how it came to be, and the terrifying billion-dollar industry that now stands because of it.
In short, if you're a person who grooms, listen to this. Now. It'll take you like an hour. And you'll laugh and commiserate the whole way through.
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3 people found this helpful