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At Dark, I Become Loathsome
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Narrated by:
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Andrew Eiden
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By:
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Eric LaRocca
About this listen
From Eric LaRocca—Bram Stoker Award–nominated and Splatterpunk Award–winning author of Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke—comes At Dark, I Become Loathsome, a grim yet gentle, horrifying yet hopeful, intense tale of death, trauma, and love.
“If you’re reading this, you’ve likely thought that the world would be a better place without you.”
A single line of text, glowing in the darkness of the internet. Written by Ashley Lutin, who has often thought the same—and worse—in the years since his wife died and his young son disappeared. But the peace of the grave is not for him—it’s for those he can help. Ashley has constructed a peculiar ritual for those whose desire to die is at war with their yearning to live a better life.
Struggling to overcome his own endless grief, one night Ashley finds connection with Jinx—a potential candidate for Ashley’s next ritual—who spins a tale both revolting and fascinating. Thus begins a relationship that traps the two men in an ever-tightening spiral of painful revelations, where long-hidden secrets are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the light.
Only through pain can we find healing. Only through death can we find new life.
Book discussion questions are available here: s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/www.blackstoneaudio.com/docs/At%20Dark%20I%20Become%20Loathsome%20Discussion%20Questions.pdf
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Who is Audrey Hoedemaker? It's a question her sister Maureen has heard more times than she can count, and she doesn't know what the short answer would be. Little sister, troubled teen, backpacker, musical theatre coach, con artist, childcare worker. Murderer. A tragic, traumatic childhood casts a long shadow on the Hoedemaker sisters. Maureen has worked hard to move beyond the violence of the past and build a good, honest life for herself. Audrey, however, just can't seem to do the same, careening from one state of chaos to another.
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Wow! Didn’t see that coming!
- By linda on 02-10-25
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The Grandmother
- By: Jane E. James
- Narrated by: Anna Cordell, Max Dinnen
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Two little girls stand with their heads bowed in my living room. I’m told they’re my granddaughters. Daisy is nine, and Alice seven. Daisy is the spitting image of her mother. This is the first time I’ve met them since my daughter and I fell out after she married that waste of space, Vince. They’ve come to live with me because their mother — my daughter — was murdered. In her own home while they slept close by. I think Vince killed her. But the police can’t prove it. I’ve always known he was no good. He treated my daughter like dirt. I said he’d cheat on her — but she wouldn’t listen.
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Not too outlandish
- By Jackie H on 12-14-24
By: Jane E. James
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10 Rules for the Perfect Murder
- By: James Patterson, Chris Tebbetts
- Narrated by: Reid Scott, Cobie Smulders, full cast
- Length: 3 hrs and 2 mins
- Original Recording
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After the killing of a prominent mob lawyer, NYPD homicide detectives Jacob Jackson and Caitlin Grimes start receive chilling, written “rules” for how to commit the perfect murder. "Rule number one for the perfect murder: Evidence is your enemy. Leave none behind." Jackson (Reid Scott) and Grimes (Cobie Smulders) race to find the killer, setting them on a collision course with the city’s crime underbelly, and a perpetrator who seems happy to toy with them. “Rule number two. No crimes of passion. The perfect murder is always business, never pleasure.”
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Tricky
- By Robert Scott Read on 10-30-24
By: James Patterson, and others
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7 Hours to Die
- By: James Patterson, Duane Swierczynski
- Narrated by: Sarah Paulson, Patina Miller, Mel Rodriguez, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 25 mins
- Original Recording
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Kidnappers grabbed Jenna in broad daylight, right in front of her children and their horrified classmates. Her family was issued an insane ransom demand: $25 million in cash and jewels, payable by the end of the school day, otherwise they’ll never see her again. As Jenna’s mother scrambles to gather the money, detectives Mo Butler and George Ortega follow the trail of the kidnappers, which will lead them through a sordid landscape of jealous lovers, broken dreamers, and twisted schemers. But every second counts, and there’s one thing Jenna Wade doesn’t have: very much time.
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This was such a fun Quick listen
- By Mdc on 10-08-24
By: James Patterson, and others
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The Ex
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Nicol Zanzarella
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Cassie thinks she has met the perfect man. Joel is sweet, handsome, romantic, and best of all, he’s crazy about Cassie. She thinks she’s found the guy she’ll spend the rest of her life with. Have children with. Grow old with. Yes, she knows about his perfect ex-girlfriend, Francesca. The beautiful, brilliant chef, beloved by all his friends. But she thinks Francesca is out of the picture. She thinks Francesca is gone for good. Think again, Cassie.
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Too bizarre for someone who loves bizarre
- By G. C. Webster on 07-01-22
By: Freida McFadden
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Too Late
- Definitive Edition
- By: Colleen Hoover
- Narrated by: Ryan Gray, Maxine Mitchell, Joe Arden
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Sloan will go through hell and back for those she loves. And she does so, every single day. Caught up with the alluring Asa Jackson, a notorious drug trafficker, Sloan has finally found a lifeline to cling to, even if it’s meant compromising her morals. She was in dire straits trying to pay for her brother’s care until she met Asa. But as Sloan became emotionally and economically reliant on him, he in turn developed a disturbing obsession with her—one that becomes increasingly dangerous every day.
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Triggering and poor narration
- By Katherine Epperson on 07-11-23
By: Colleen Hoover
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I am Jack's utter lack of imagination
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After a recent string of disappearances in a small Connecticut town, a grieving widower with a grim secret is drawn into a dangerous ritual of dark magic by a powerful and mysterious older gentleman named Heart Crowley. Meanwhile, a member of local law enforcement tasked with uncovering the culprit responsible for the bizarre disappearances soon begins to learn of a current of unbridled hatred simmering beneath the guise of the town’s idyllic community.
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By day, Jessica Roman-Dell is broke, unemployed, and newly evicted from her apartment. By night, she’s the Friendly Neighborhood Ghost Hunter, an aspiring YouTuber and paranormal investigator hoping to find a real ghost so her channel can go viral. Following reports of paranormal activity behind the old Methodist church, Jessica encounters the spirit of a murder victim named Jerry lurking among the headstones.
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What listeners say about At Dark, I Become Loathsome
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Andres Matinez
- 02-13-25
Dark tragedy dealing with loss and death
The story was good and the characters are tragic but it’s a great story told by Mr Larooca
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- Amanda
- 02-10-25
DNF
Narrator is good, premise is good. I dont want to listen to the detailed abuse of dogs. After the 2nd description of killing a dog I DNF'd. A trigger warning would have stopped me from spending the money at all.
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