
Asian American Apostate
Losing Religion and Finding Myself at an Evangelical University
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $19.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
R. Scott Okamoto
-
By:
-
R. Scott Okamoto
About this listen
“Asian American Apostate is a stunning contribution to the topic of deconstruction and leaving high-demand religion that for too long has been almost exclusively occupied by White voices.” (Bradley Onishi, host of Straight White American Jesus and author of Preparing for War: The Extremist History of White Christian Nationalism—and What Comes Next)
R. Scott Okamoto had no idea that his job as an English teacher at an evangelical Christian college meant facing bigotry as an Asian American and faux intellectualism as a teacher—and what it would mean for his own journey.
Asian American Apostate is a wry an ironic story of leaving religion while teaching at an evangelical university. Okamoto's often chilling accounts reveal that these schools, where prayer and trite theological debate erupts in any lecture, are anything but higher education. Stories range from a classroom declaration against interracial marriage because it causes painful pregnancies, to grading a paper entitled, “Why Obama Is a Nazi,” and to the times Okamoto, a popular teacher, was disciplined by school officials for keeping standards for writing. Okamoto's personal reporting gives you the inside story of how America’s evangelical schools encourage not a life of the mind but White cultural power. But more than that, you’ll see how Okamoto, despite personal and professional challenges, found clarity about who he was not, and who he was coming to be.
Listen along as Scott recounts his difficult, unlikely, and ultimately encouraging spiritual journey that will immerse you the search for a deeper and more expansive life.
Listeners also enjoyed...
-
Preparing for War
- The Extremist History of White Christian Nationalism—and What Comes Next
- By: Bradley Onishi
- Narrated by: Bradley Onishi
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The insurrection at the US Capitol on January 6, 2021, was not a blip or an aberration. It was the logical outcome of years of a White evangelical subculture's preparation for war. Religion scholar and former insider Bradley Onishi maps the origins of White Christian nationalism and traces its offshoots in Preparing for War.
-
-
Religious Fundementalism and Freedom
- By John C. Morris on 06-06-24
By: Bradley Onishi
-
Prequel
- An American Fight Against Fascism
- By: Rachel Maddow
- Narrated by: Rachel Maddow
- Length: 13 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inspired by her research for the hit podcast Ultra, Rachel Maddow charts the rise of a wild American strain of authoritarianism that has been alive on the far-right edge of our politics for the better part of a century. Before and even after our troops had begun fighting abroad in World War II, a clandestine network flooded the country with disinformation aimed at sapping the strength of the U.S. war effort and persuading Americans that our natural alliance was with the Axis, not against it.
-
-
The fight to keep democracy alive
- By Rex on 10-19-23
By: Rachel Maddow
-
The Undertow
- Scenes from a Slow Civil War
- By: Jeff Sharlet
- Narrated by: Jeff Sharlet
- Length: 11 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An unmatched guide to the religious dimensions of American politics, Jeff Sharlet journeys into corners of our national psyche where others fear to tread. The Undertow is both inquiry and meditation, an attempt to understand how, over the last decade, reaction has morphed into delusion, social division into distrust, distrust into paranoia, and hatred into fantasies—sometimes realities—of violence.
-
-
I'm just not feeling this one....
- By J. Richmond on 08-04-23
By: Jeff Sharlet
-
The Hidden Roots of White Supremacy
- And the Path to a Shared American Future
- By: Robert P. Jones
- Narrated by: Holter Graham
- Length: 11 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Beginning with contemporary efforts to reckon with the legacy of white supremacy in America, Jones returns to the fateful year when a little-known church doctrine emerged that shaped the way five centuries of European Christians would understand the “discovered” world and the people who populated it. From this vantage point, Jones illuminates how the enslavement of Africans was not America’s original sin but, rather, the continuation of acts of genocide and dispossession flowing from the first European contact with Native Americans.
-
-
The Doctrine of discovery matters to our history
- By Adam Shields on 09-13-23
By: Robert P. Jones
-
God Is Not Great
- How Religion Poisons Everything
- By: Christopher Hitchens
- Narrated by: Christopher Hitchens
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the tradition of Bertrand Russell's Why I Am Not a Christian and Sam Harris' recent best-seller, The End of Faith, Christopher Hitchens makes the ultimate case against religion. With a close and erudite reading of the major religious texts, he documents the ways in which religion is a man-made wish, a cause of dangerous sexual repression, and a distortion of our origins in the cosmos.
-
-
5-Star Writing. Perfect Author Narration.
- By Michael on 12-13-09
-
We of Little Faith
- Why I Stopped Pretending to Believe (and Maybe You Should Too)
- By: Kate Cohen
- Narrated by: Kate Cohen
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Even though a growing number of Americans don’t believe in god, many remain reluctant to say so out loud. Kate Cohen argues that not only is it rewarding for those of little faith to announce themselves, it’s crucial to our country’s future. As she details the challenges and joys of fully embracing atheism—especially as a parent—Washington Post contributing columnist Kate Cohen does not dismiss religion as dangerous or silly. Instead, she investigates religion’s appeal in order to explain the ways we can thrive without it.
-
-
Honest, gently forthright, and very much needed
- By Marni Penning on 10-09-23
By: Kate Cohen
-
Preparing for War
- The Extremist History of White Christian Nationalism—and What Comes Next
- By: Bradley Onishi
- Narrated by: Bradley Onishi
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The insurrection at the US Capitol on January 6, 2021, was not a blip or an aberration. It was the logical outcome of years of a White evangelical subculture's preparation for war. Religion scholar and former insider Bradley Onishi maps the origins of White Christian nationalism and traces its offshoots in Preparing for War.
-
-
Religious Fundementalism and Freedom
- By John C. Morris on 06-06-24
By: Bradley Onishi
-
Prequel
- An American Fight Against Fascism
- By: Rachel Maddow
- Narrated by: Rachel Maddow
- Length: 13 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inspired by her research for the hit podcast Ultra, Rachel Maddow charts the rise of a wild American strain of authoritarianism that has been alive on the far-right edge of our politics for the better part of a century. Before and even after our troops had begun fighting abroad in World War II, a clandestine network flooded the country with disinformation aimed at sapping the strength of the U.S. war effort and persuading Americans that our natural alliance was with the Axis, not against it.
-
-
The fight to keep democracy alive
- By Rex on 10-19-23
By: Rachel Maddow
-
The Undertow
- Scenes from a Slow Civil War
- By: Jeff Sharlet
- Narrated by: Jeff Sharlet
- Length: 11 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An unmatched guide to the religious dimensions of American politics, Jeff Sharlet journeys into corners of our national psyche where others fear to tread. The Undertow is both inquiry and meditation, an attempt to understand how, over the last decade, reaction has morphed into delusion, social division into distrust, distrust into paranoia, and hatred into fantasies—sometimes realities—of violence.
-
-
I'm just not feeling this one....
- By J. Richmond on 08-04-23
By: Jeff Sharlet
-
The Hidden Roots of White Supremacy
- And the Path to a Shared American Future
- By: Robert P. Jones
- Narrated by: Holter Graham
- Length: 11 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Beginning with contemporary efforts to reckon with the legacy of white supremacy in America, Jones returns to the fateful year when a little-known church doctrine emerged that shaped the way five centuries of European Christians would understand the “discovered” world and the people who populated it. From this vantage point, Jones illuminates how the enslavement of Africans was not America’s original sin but, rather, the continuation of acts of genocide and dispossession flowing from the first European contact with Native Americans.
-
-
The Doctrine of discovery matters to our history
- By Adam Shields on 09-13-23
By: Robert P. Jones
-
God Is Not Great
- How Religion Poisons Everything
- By: Christopher Hitchens
- Narrated by: Christopher Hitchens
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the tradition of Bertrand Russell's Why I Am Not a Christian and Sam Harris' recent best-seller, The End of Faith, Christopher Hitchens makes the ultimate case against religion. With a close and erudite reading of the major religious texts, he documents the ways in which religion is a man-made wish, a cause of dangerous sexual repression, and a distortion of our origins in the cosmos.
-
-
5-Star Writing. Perfect Author Narration.
- By Michael on 12-13-09
-
We of Little Faith
- Why I Stopped Pretending to Believe (and Maybe You Should Too)
- By: Kate Cohen
- Narrated by: Kate Cohen
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Even though a growing number of Americans don’t believe in god, many remain reluctant to say so out loud. Kate Cohen argues that not only is it rewarding for those of little faith to announce themselves, it’s crucial to our country’s future. As she details the challenges and joys of fully embracing atheism—especially as a parent—Washington Post contributing columnist Kate Cohen does not dismiss religion as dangerous or silly. Instead, she investigates religion’s appeal in order to explain the ways we can thrive without it.
-
-
Honest, gently forthright, and very much needed
- By Marni Penning on 10-09-23
By: Kate Cohen
-
My Grandmother's Hands
- Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies
- By: Resmaa Menakem MSW LICSW SEP
- Narrated by: Cary Hite
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this groundbreaking book, therapist Resmaa Menakem examines the damage caused by racism in America from the perspective of trauma and body-centered psychology. My Grandmother's Hands is a call to action for all of us to recognize that racism is not only about the head but about the body, and introduces an alternative view of what we can do to grow beyond our entrenched racialized divide.
-
-
Think You Don't Need This? Think Again, Please!
- By Carole T. on 03-27-21
-
How Civil Wars Start
- And How to Stop Them
- By: Barbara F. Walter
- Narrated by: Beth Hicks
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Political violence rips apart several towns in southwest Texas. A far-right militia plots to kidnap the governor of Michigan and try her for treason. An armed mob of Trump supporters and conspiracy theorists storms the U.S. Capitol. Are these isolated incidents? Or is this the start of something bigger? Barbara F. Walter has spent her career studying civil conflict in places like Iraq, Ukraine, and Sri Lanka, but now she has become increasingly worried about her own country.
-
-
Reveals the limits of a Political Science approach
- By Bill on 01-17-22
-
Unthinkable
- Trauma, Truth, and the Trials of American Democracy
- By: Jamie Raskin
- Narrated by: Jamie Raskin
- Length: 15 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this searing memoir, Congressman Jamie Raskin tells the story of the forty-five days at the start of 2021 that permanently changed his life—and his family’s—as he confronted the painful loss of his son to suicide, lived through the violent insurrection in our nation’s Capitol, and led the impeachment effort to hold President Trump accountable for inciting the political violence.
-
-
Must reading/listening for every American who has despaired of losing our democracy.
- By Shirley Anderson on 01-06-22
By: Jamie Raskin
-
Myth America
- Historians Take On the Biggest Legends and Lies About Our Past
- By: Kevin M. Kruse, Julian E. Zelizer
- Narrated by: Allan Aquino, Maleah Woodley, Todd Menesses, and others
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The United States is in the grip of a crisis of bad history. Distortions of the past promoted in the conservative media have led large numbers of Americans to believe in fictions over facts, making constructive dialogue impossible and imperiling our democracy. In Myth America, Kevin M. Kruse and Julian E. Zelizer have assembled an all-star team of fellow historians to push back against this misinformation.
-
-
Right Wing Bashing book!! Aka a History Book
- By amy on 02-08-23
By: Kevin M. Kruse, and others
-
Jesus and John Wayne
- How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation
- By: Kristin Kobes du Mez
- Narrated by: Suzie Althens
- Length: 12 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
How did a libertine who lacks even the most basic knowledge of the Christian faith win 81 percent of the white evangelical vote in 2016? And why have white evangelicals become a presidential reprobate's staunchest supporters? Jesus and John Wayne is a sweeping account of the last 75 years of white evangelicalism, showing how American evangelicals have worked for decades to replace the Jesus of the Gospels with an idol of rugged masculinity and Christian nationalism.
-
-
Like reading a history of my evangelical life
- By Renee on 10-15-20
-
Dear Girls
- Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets & Advice for Living Your Best Life
- By: Ali Wong
- Narrated by: Ali Wong, Justin Hakuta
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In her hit Netflix comedy special Baby Cobra, an eight-month pregnant Ali Wong resonated so strongly that she even became a popular Halloween costume. Wong told the world her remarkably unfiltered thoughts on marriage, sex, Asian culture, working women, and why you never see new mom comics on stage but you sure see plenty of new dads.
-
-
This book is the shit!
- By Erica P. on 10-17-19
By: Ali Wong
-
Trust the Plan
- The Rise of QAnon and the Conspiracy That Unhinged America
- By: Will Sommer
- Narrated by: Joe Knezevich
- Length: 8 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The definitive book on QAnon from the reporter knows them best; Will Sommer explains what it is, how it has gained a mainstream following among Republican lawmakers and ordinary citizens, the threat it poses to democracy, and how we can reach those who have embraced the conspiracy and are disseminating its lies.
-
-
The best one so far
- By joey carbo on 03-02-23
By: Will Sommer
-
They Want to Kill Americans
- The Militias, Terrorists, and Deranged Ideology of the Trump Insurgency
- By: Malcolm Nance
- Narrated by: Ari Fliakos
- Length: 10 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
They Want to Kill Americans is the first detailed look into the heart of the active Trump-led insurgency, setting the stage for a second nation-wide rebellion on American soil. This is a chilling and deeply researched early warning to the nation from a counterterrorism intelligence professional: America is primed for a possible explosive wave of terrorist attacks and armed confrontations that aim to bring about a Donald Trump led dictatorship.
-
-
It's informative and frightening
- By Amazon Customer on 07-17-22
By: Malcolm Nance
-
I Take My Coffee Black
- Reflections on Tupac, Musical Theater, Faith, and Being Black in America
- By: Tyler Merritt, Jimmy Kimmel - foreword
- Narrated by: Jimmy Kimmel, Tyler Merritt, James Iglehart, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tyler Merritt's video "Before You Call the Cops" has been viewed millions of times. He's appeared on Jimmy Kimmel and Sports Illustrated and has been profiled in the New York Times. The viral video's main point - the more you know someone, the more empathy, understanding, and compassion you have for that person - is the springboard for this book. By sharing his highs and exposing his lows, Tyler welcomes us into his world in order to help bridge the divides that seem to grow wider every day.
-
-
Beautiful message and a social game changer
- By Marie on 11-07-21
By: Tyler Merritt, and others
-
The Rise and Fall of Faith
- A God-to-Godless Story for Christians and Atheists
- By: Drew Bekius
- Narrated by: Drew Bekius, Dan Barker
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What does "real" faith look like and how do you know it when you have it? And what allows anyone to be so sure their beliefs are based in reality? The Rise and Fall of Faith touches on these and other questions. While the aim of the audiobook is to initiate a much-needed conversation between Christians and atheists, it will be up to each of us to carry the discussion forward.
-
-
5 Stars
- By Rebecca on 12-21-20
By: Drew Bekius
-
Heretic
- A Memoir
- By: Jeanna Kadlec
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 6 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jeanna Kadlec knew what it meant to be faithful--in her marriage to a pastor’s son, in the comfortable life ahead of her, in her God--but there was no denying the truth that lived under that conviction: she was queer and, if she wanted to survive, she would need to leave behind the church and every foundational building block she knew. Heretic is a memoir of rebirth. Within, Kadlec reckons with religious trauma and Midwestern values, as a means of unveiling how evangelicalism directly impacts every American--religious or not--and has been a major force in driving our democracy towards fascism.
-
-
Average story about faith and being LGBTQ
- By A. Sampson on 11-26-23
By: Jeanna Kadlec
-
Christianity Made Me Talk Like an Idiot
- By: Seth Andrews
- Narrated by: Seth Andrews
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Seth Andrews wasn't an idiot during his 30 years as an evangelical Christian. He wasn't unintelligent, nor did his IQ shift when he ultimately left religion entirely. He considered himself thoughtful, moral, reasonable, and at least as smart as the average person. In other words, he wasn't an idiot. Yet strangely, he often sounded like one.
-
-
Resonates with any ex-evangelical!
- By Jeremy Gregg on 12-05-22
By: Seth Andrews
What listeners say about Asian American Apostate
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Warren Collier
- 06-05-23
One of the BEST books on religious deconstruction!
I related to this book on SO many levels: as an Asian American, as a former evangelical active in my college days with InterVarsity, as someone who has thoroughly - but is still actively - deconstructing his faith, and as an ally to the LGBTQ+ community. Okamoto nails all of it so well.
With humor and keen analysis, Okamoto's experiences at "EVU" shine a damning light on the myriad ways in which American Evangelical Christianity is structured as a straight, white, cis, middle-class, capitalist, conservative institution at the expense of all other groups that dare to challenge that culture and hierarchy. It is shocking yet not at all surprising to hear about how much outright hypocrisy and bigotry he faced at EVU as liberal, Asian-American professor from both the faculty and students. Okamoto is an unsung hero for challenging the racist and homophobic status quo in evangelicalism.
This book is revealing, hilarious, and infuriating all at the same time. It is a must read for anyone who is deconstructing their faith or seeking to understand those who are deconstructing.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Dave
- 11-27-23
The Secret Life of an Evangelical College
I heard Mr. Okamoto on a podcast and the stories he told about his time as a professor at an Evangelical College were both amusing and shocking. This book lived up to my expectations and surpassed them. The world of Evangelical Christians is stranger than us outsiders can ever imagine. Professor Okamoto does his best to educate his students previously unchallenged in their worldviews by homeschooling or Christian high schools. He is a compassionate soul who does his best to mentor the BiPOC & LGBTQ students in a college that disdains their very existence. This is a rich, humorous, thoughtful memoir and I strongly recommend it to anyone interested in learning more about Evangelical Christians.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- JohnDoe
- 04-22-23
Upbeat book about sad subject
Written in more upbeat tone than other writings about th8s group. Ctainly confirms the author's claim that, for 15 years, he delivered spellbinding lectures to his college English students. My life, irreparably scarred by the author's inquisitors. Mercifully, I've been out of country x 20 years, so missed the details of the evangelicals' machinations in since year 2000. I'm very old, first birth into evangelical home (but NOT born again.) Of course, all that hecsays is 100% compatible with my own "all too many" years with that group. I've been on the WRONG side of every single issue ever promukgated by this group, even personally attending a breakfast meeting with famed C, Everett Koop at an anti-antiabortion rally! Yes, similar shenanigans drove me "kicking and screaming" OUT of Christianity.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Elizabeth Cirelli
- 04-23-23
great read/listen
loved this author's podcast, and loving his book now too!! will give a more thorough review when I'm further in.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!