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Artemis Begins
- A Story from Guys Read: Funny Business
- Narrated by: John Keating
- Length: 18 mins
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Publisher's summary
It’s here: Volume One of the official Guys Read Library. Jon Scieszka’s Guys Read initiative was founded on a simple premise: that young guys enjoy reading most when they have reading they can enjoy. And out of this comes a series that aims to give them just that. Ten books, arranged by theme, featuring the best of the best where writing for kids is concerned. Each book is a collection of original short stories, but these aren’t your typical anthologies - each book is edgy, inventive, visual, and one-of-a-kind, featuring a different theme for guys to get excited about.
Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and Guys Read, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; the only kid in his middle school who hasn’t turned into a vampire, wizard, or superhero; and more. And the contributor list includes best-selling authors, award winners, and fresh new talent alike: Mac Barnett, Eoin Colfer, Christopher Paul Curtis, Kate DiCamillo (writing with Jon Scieszka), Paul Feig, Jack Gantos, Jeff Kinney, David Lubar, Adam Rex, and David Yoo.
Guys Read is all about turning young readers and listeners into life-long ones - and with this book, and each subsequent installment in the series, we aim to leave no guy unturned.
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clever
- By jared rogerson on 03-15-18
By: Helen Oyeyemi
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Stonefather
- By: Orson Scott Card
- Narrated by: Emily Janice Card
- Length: 3 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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When Runnel leaves his mountain valley to head for the great city of the water mages, he has no idea of his own magical talents. But he soon finds that without meaning to, he complicates and then endangers the lives of everyone he comes to know and care about. For when it comes to magic, there are rules and laws, and the untrained mage-to-be must be careful not to tap into deep forces and ancient enmities. Otherwise, other people might end up paying the price for his mistakes.
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Familiar and unique--a breath of fresh air
- By Scott on 03-10-09
By: Orson Scott Card
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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
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What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
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Pi in the Sky
- By: Wendy Mass
- Narrated by: Mark Turetsky
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Pi in the Sky stars Joss, the seventh son of the Supreme Overlord of the Universe, whose job is to deliver magical pies - ones that happen to hold the secrets of the cosmos. But when planet Earth suddenly disappears, Joss must figure out a way to bring it back - even if it means enlisting the help of an outspoken Earth girl named Annika.
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Amazing book
- By Chris Badgett on 06-17-23
By: Wendy Mass
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The Family Fang
- By: Kevin Wilson
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 10 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance artists Caleb and Camille Fang dedicated themselves to making great art. But when an artist's work lies in subverting normality, it can be difficult to raise well-adjusted children. Just ask Buster and Annie Fang. For as long as they can remember, they starred (unwillingly) in their parents' madcap pieces. But now that they are grown up, the chaos of their childhood has made it difficult to cope with life outside the fishbowl of their parents' strange world.
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Beautiful, Heart-wrenching, Shocking.
- By Amanda on 11-18-11
By: Kevin Wilson
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A Head Full of Knives: An Urban Fantasy Novel
- By: Luke Smitherd
- Narrated by: Luke Smitherd
- Length: 9 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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From the author of Audible #1 bestsellers In The Darkness, That's Where I'll Know You, The Physics of the Dead, and The Stone Man (shortlisted for the Audible Audiobook of the Year award 2015). Ever wished the world would revolve around you? Be careful what you wish for... Martin Hogan feels like he's being watched by everyone and everything, and doesn't know why. Even his pets are acting strangely. Each night he sees animals gathering outside his house in the darkness, staring up at his windows with glittering eyes.
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Wonderful
- By Julie the Gator Mom on 12-09-15
By: Luke Smitherd
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Love Walked In
- By: Marisa de los Santos
- Narrated by: Jennifer Ikeda
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Award-winning poet Marisa de los Santos crafts an irresistibly touching debut novel. Love Walked In is a contemporary tale, steeped in nostalgic, cinematic charm, of love in all its forms. Unapologetically idealistic about love, Cornelia Brown appears to catch the break of a lifetime when the dashing Martin Grace, her own personal Cary Grant, comes strolling into her life. But it is Martin's connection to 11-year-old Clare Hobbes that touches Cornelia's heart in ways she never imagined.
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Dreadful audio quality
- By Marenghi on 09-16-11
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The Egypt Game
- By: Zilpha Keatley Snyder
- Narrated by: Alyssa Bresnahan
- Length: 5 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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When Melanie Ross first meets April Hall, she's not sure what to think. What other sixth grade girl wears her blonde hair piled in a twist and flaunts false eyelashes? But when the two girls discover the storage shed outside the A-Z Antiques and Curio Shop, they discover they both love anything to do with ancient Egypt. Soon the friends create the Egypt Game.
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Better than I remembered
- By Brianna Brown on 02-22-16
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Beautiful Child
- The Story of a Child Trapped in Silence and the Teacher Who Refused to Give Up on Her
- By: Torey Hayden
- Narrated by: Susan Larkin
- Length: 12 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Hayden has chronicled experiences from her long career as a special education teacher in several books, including One Child and The Tiger's Child. Successes in this difficult and often frustrating field can be few and hard won, a fact which Hayden deftly illustrates while simultaneously offering hope and joy in small victories. This time she brings to life the story of a scruffy seven-year-old, Venus, who is so unresponsive that Hayden searches for signs of deafness, brain damage, or mental retardation.
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shows how hard some teachers have to work
- By Sophie on 01-20-17
By: Torey Hayden
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Boy, Snow, Bird
- By: Helen Oyeyemi
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett, Carra Patterson
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In the winter of 1953, Boy Novak arrives by chance in a small town in Massachusetts, looking, she believes, for beauty - the opposite of the life she' s left behind in New York. She marries a local widower and becomes stepmother to his winsome daughter, Snow Whitman. A wicked stepmother is a creature Boy never imagined she' d become, but elements of the familiar tale of aesthetic obsession begin to play themselves out when the birth of Boy' s daughter, Bird, who is dark-skinned, exposes the Whitmans as light-skinned African Americans passing for white.
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For Literary Lovers
- By M. Shipe on 04-25-14
By: Helen Oyeyemi
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Size Matters Not
- The Extraordinary Life and Career of Warwick Davis
- By: Warwick Davis
- Narrated by: Gideon Emery
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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You may not recognize my name-or my face for that matter-but it's very likely you've seen me at work. I've managed to cram quite a bit into my thirty-year acting career. In fact I've helped put more bums on cinema seats than Will Smith or Tom Hanks. Who else can say that they've helped destroy a Death Star? Defeated an evil sorceress? Taught magic to Harry Potter? Become a Jedi Master? Reluctantly hitchhiked across the galaxy in search of the answer to the Ultimate Question?
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Sincere and heart-warming
- By Alice on 10-04-15
By: Warwick Davis
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Twilight Children
- Three Voices No One Heard Until a Therapist Listened
- By: Torey Hayden
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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A light in the darkness for severely troubled children, former special education teacher Torey Hayden faced three of her most extraordinary challenges after she left the classroom. Nine-year-old Cassandra, kidnapped by her father and found starving, dirty, and picking through garbage cans - a child prone to long silences and erratic, violent behavior, whose hard-won recollections of the nightmare she endured could not be fully trusted.
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loved it.
- By Lace M. Jackson on 06-23-17
By: Torey Hayden
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The One-in-a-Million Boy
- By: Monica Wood
- Narrated by: Chris Ciulla
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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For years, guitarist Quinn Porter has been on the road, chasing gig after gig, largely absent to his twice-ex-wife Belle and their odd, Guinness records-obsessed son. When the boy dies suddenly, Quinn seeks forgiveness for his paternal shortcomings by completing the requirements for one of his son's unfinished Boy Scout badges. For seven Saturdays Quinn does yard work for Ona Vitkus, the spry 104-year-old Lithuanian immigrant the boy had visited weekly.
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Loved it
- By Justin on 10-20-16
By: Monica Wood
What listeners say about Artemis Begins
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Maira Saw
- 02-20-18
Background
While this is only a short 19 minutes story it pervides fun context to anyone who love the 'Artemis Fowl' series.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Reecee
- 01-02-16
Wonderfully funny from start to finish!
I love this author's Artemis Fowl series, so it was nice to see where those stories originated. Both the story and narrator are fantastic.
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- Nicola
- 01-04-15
Fun!
Not a story about Artemis, but rather a funny story about the author's childhood and the inspiration for the books.
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-21-15
the best way to keep loving Artemis!
how much fun can one kid have? time five for evil brothers and you'll get it right. such a fab short story. loved it entirely!!
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- tracie
- 06-24-13
Hilarious!!
I thought that this might be a real Artemis Fowl story; it isn't. What it is, is the real life story of Eoin Colfer...and it had us in stitches!! The boys and I weren't disappointed by this unexpected story, but actually listened to it again....to catch every funny little part.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 10-30-21
GENIUS
GENIUS genius genius genius genius G.E.N.I.U.S! Perfect description to soooooo many people in my family(your brother's antics, not his genius unless we'retalkingthe EVIL kind)...And I don't love or like them nearly as much as I've come to love Artemis beFowled(wink).
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- Talia
- 01-12-12
A nice look at the beginning
Where does Artemis Begins rank among all the audiobooks you???ve listened to so far?
I'd say it's somewhere in the solid middle.
Who was your favorite character and why?
I don't really have a favorite character here actually.
Have you listened to any of John Keating???s other performances before? How does this one compare?
No.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
Yes.
Any additional comments?
It's a great look at the conception of the character of Artemis Fowl.
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- Jason Wood
- 08-03-17
Not what I thought
I had hoped for a story of young Artemis. This is a telling of where he got the idea for the character Artemis. This story is not worth paying for. Maybe fun to learn but not even a real short story.
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3 people found this helpful