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Adoption Unfiltered
Revelations from Adoptees, Birth Parents, Adoptive Parents, and Allies
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Narrated by:
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Sara Easterly
About this listen
Adoption Unfiltered authors Sara Easterly (adoptee), Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard (birth parent), and Lori Holden (adoptive parent) interview dozens of adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, social workers, therapists, and other allies—all sharing candidly about the challenges in adoption. While finding common ground in the sometimes-contentious space of adoption may seem like a lofty goal, it reveals the authors' optimistic aim: working together with truth and transparency to move toward healing.
Healing isn't possible, though, without first uncovering the hurts—starting with adoption's central players: adoptees, who are so often in pain, suffering from what the latest brain science validates as the long-term emotional effects of separation trauma. By encouraging others to vulnerably share their stories, the authors discover that adoptees aren't the only ones in the adoption constellation who are hurting. Birth parents regularly shut down after being shut out by adoptive parents. Adoptive parents often struggle with unique parenting challenges and hidden insecurity, feeling the need to hide the fact that they are not the Super Parents they led the agency to believe they would be. Across the industry as a whole, misinformed and unethical practices abound. This book models the importance of adults in adoption working together in the spirit of empathy.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2024 Sara Easterly, Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Lori Holden (P)2024 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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- How to Pick a Winning Product, Build a Real Business, and Become a Seven-Figure Entrepreneur
- By: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Narrated by: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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By cutting out the noise and providing a clear and proven plan, this road map helps even brand-new entrepreneurs make decisions quickly, get their product up for sale, and launch it to a crowd that is ready and waiting to buy. This one-year plan will guide you through the three stages to your first $1 million: the Grind (months 0-4), the Growth (months 5-8), and the Gold (months 9-12). If your goal is to be a full-time entrepreneur, get ready for one chaotic, stressful, and rewarding year. If you have the guts to complete it, you will be the proud owner of a million-dollar business.
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Good, but a Little Misleading
- By Chris Love on 11-28-20
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Deep Sleep Hypnosis: Fall Asleep Instantly and Sleep Well
- By: Jasmine Harris
- Narrated by: Allison Mason
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
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put me right to sleep
- By Cassandra on 05-08-17
By: Jasmine Harris
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The Daily Stoic
- 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
- By: Ryan Holiday, Stephen Hanselman
- Narrated by: Brian Holsopple
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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Not well made as audio
- By Andreas on 12-27-16
By: Ryan Holiday, and others
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How to Train Your Mind
- Exploring the Productivity Benefits of Meditation
- By: Chris Bailey
- Narrated by: Chris Bailey
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Original Recording
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Meditation makes you more productive because it lets you earn back time. For each minute you spend meditating, you'll earn around nine minutes back, as Chris Bailey - author of The Productivity Project and Hyperfocus - will show in this candid and counter-intuitive guide to the productivity benefits of meditation.
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Started Listening By Accident
- By T.D.Willis on 01-17-21
By: Chris Bailey
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How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference
- By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Allison Friederichs Atkison
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Original Recording
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Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them. But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.
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Meh. Glad I didn't pay for it.
- By Paula on 07-23-22
By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, and others
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A powerful decade-long study of adoption in the age of Roe, revealing the grief of the American mothers for whom the choice to parent was never real.
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Where are the narratives from adopted people?
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The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the 20 complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love.
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The glass is half empty.
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"You Should Be Grateful"
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“Your parents are so amazing for adopting you! You should be grateful that you were adopted.” Angela Tucker is a Black woman, adopted from foster care by white parents. She has heard this microaggression her entire life, usually from well-intentioned strangers who view her adoptive parents as noble saviors. She is grateful for many aspects of her life, but being transracially adopted involves layers of rejection, loss, and complexity that cannot be summed up so easily.
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A Good Start
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The Adoptive Parents' Handbook
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Children who have been adopted and/or shuttled through the foster-care system experience trauma at a much higher rate than other kids, which can make it difficult for them to trust, relax, regulate their emotions, and connect with their new families. As a parent, learning how to heal attachment trauma, attune to your child's needs, identify triggers, and create felt safety is essential to providing the loving, supportive, and stable home they need to thrive. Written for parents of adopted and foster kids of all ages, this book offers resources for handling common concerns.
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Highly Recommend!!!
- By Alexandra Borman on 11-16-21
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You Don't Look Adopted
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Can writing your story save your life? I should have come with a manual. My parents thought they were getting one thing when they adopted me - a baby of their own - when what they got was a human being with a story of her own. As a child, I traded safety for silence. As an adult, I had no idea who I was, why I quit nearly everything I started, why I struggled with things that came more easily to my friends (jobs, relationships, finances, self-esteem), why I seemed hell-bent on throwing myself away.
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Courageous and raw
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What White Parents Should Know About Transracial Adoption
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If you're the White parent of a transracially or internationally adopted child, you may have been told that if you try your best and work your hardest, good intentions and a whole lot of love will be enough to give your child the security, attachment, and nurturing family life they need to thrive. The only problem? It's not true. What White Parents Need to Know About Transracial Adoption breaks down the dynamics that frequently fly under the radar of the whitewashed, happily-ever-after adoption stories we hear so often.
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This is a rant. Not an informative book.
- By Chris on 07-10-22
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Relinquished
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A powerful decade-long study of adoption in the age of Roe, revealing the grief of the American mothers for whom the choice to parent was never real.
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Where are the narratives from adopted people?
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Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
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The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the 20 complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love.
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The glass is half empty.
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"You Should Be Grateful"
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“Your parents are so amazing for adopting you! You should be grateful that you were adopted.” Angela Tucker is a Black woman, adopted from foster care by white parents. She has heard this microaggression her entire life, usually from well-intentioned strangers who view her adoptive parents as noble saviors. She is grateful for many aspects of her life, but being transracially adopted involves layers of rejection, loss, and complexity that cannot be summed up so easily.
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A Good Start
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The Adoptive Parents' Handbook
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Children who have been adopted and/or shuttled through the foster-care system experience trauma at a much higher rate than other kids, which can make it difficult for them to trust, relax, regulate their emotions, and connect with their new families. As a parent, learning how to heal attachment trauma, attune to your child's needs, identify triggers, and create felt safety is essential to providing the loving, supportive, and stable home they need to thrive. Written for parents of adopted and foster kids of all ages, this book offers resources for handling common concerns.
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Highly Recommend!!!
- By Alexandra Borman on 11-16-21
By: Barbara Tantrum, and others
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You Don't Look Adopted
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Can writing your story save your life? I should have come with a manual. My parents thought they were getting one thing when they adopted me - a baby of their own - when what they got was a human being with a story of her own. As a child, I traded safety for silence. As an adult, I had no idea who I was, why I quit nearly everything I started, why I struggled with things that came more easily to my friends (jobs, relationships, finances, self-esteem), why I seemed hell-bent on throwing myself away.
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Courageous and raw
- By Christine Warmus Murphy on 08-30-19
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What White Parents Should Know About Transracial Adoption
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If you're the White parent of a transracially or internationally adopted child, you may have been told that if you try your best and work your hardest, good intentions and a whole lot of love will be enough to give your child the security, attachment, and nurturing family life they need to thrive. The only problem? It's not true. What White Parents Need to Know About Transracial Adoption breaks down the dynamics that frequently fly under the radar of the whitewashed, happily-ever-after adoption stories we hear so often.
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This is a rant. Not an informative book.
- By Chris on 07-10-22
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The Adoptee's Journey
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Adoption is often framed by happy narratives, but the reality is that many adoptees struggle with unaddressed trauma and issues of identity and belonging. Adoptees often spend the majority of their youth without the language to explore the grief related to adoption or the permission to legitimize their conflicting emotions. Adoptee and counselor Cameron Lee Small names the realities of the adoptee's journey, narrating his own and other adoptees' stories in all their complexity.
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Outstanding book
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The Connected Child
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The adoption of a child is always a joyous moment in the life of a family. Some adoptions, though, present unique challenges. Welcoming these children into your family - and addressing their special needs - requires care, consideration, and compassion.
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Incredibly helpful
- By Amazon Customer on 08-12-21
By: Karyn B. Purvis, and others
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Healing for Every Heart in Adoption
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In this groundbreaking book, adoption advocates Betsy S. Kylstra, Lisa C. Qualls, and Jodi Jackson Tucker-an adoptee, a birth mother, and an adoptive mother-reveal that adoption is rooted in both loss and redemptive victory. And healing is needed by all in the adoption triad-adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents-to experience restoration and wholeness.
By: Betsy S. Kylstra, and others
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Adoption Trauma
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- Narrated by: Fiona Myles
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- Unabridged
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Do you want to take a step towards confidence, acceptance, and well-being? This audiobook is my inward look at adoption trauma with some helpful tips that I have used over the past six years to help me overcome the feelings of unworthiness, anger, fear, and rejection that plagued me for 50 years.
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Outstanding
- By Matt Sorensen on 01-12-25
By: Fiona Myles
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American Baby
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The adoption business was founded on secrecy and lies. American Baby lays out how a lucrative and exploitative industry removed children from their birth mothers and placed them with hopeful families, fabricating stories about infants' origins and destinations, then closing the door firmly between the parties forever. Adoption agencies and other organizations that purported to help pregnant women struck unethical deals with doctors and researchers for pseudoscientific "assessments," and shamed millions of women into surrendering their children.
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I felt the love of my birth mom...
- By Mary H. on 02-03-21
By: Gabrielle Glaser
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The Connected Parent
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- Unabridged
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Renowned child-development expert Dr. Karyn Purvis gives you practical advice and powerful tools you can use to encourage secure attachment in your family. You will benefit from Karyn’s decades of clinical research and real-world experience. Coauthor Lisa Qualls demonstrates how you can successfully implement these strategies in your home, just as she did in hers. You will learn how to simplify your approach using scripts, nurture your child, combat chronic fear, teach respect, and develop other valuable tools to facilitate a healing connection with your child.
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An holistic approach to relational health
- By K & J on 02-11-23
By: Lisa Qualls, and others
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Honestly Adoption
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- Narrated by: Kristin Berry, Mike Berry
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- Unabridged
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If you are considering adoption or foster care or are already somewhere in this difficult and complicated process, you need trusted information from people who have been where you are. Mike and Kristin Berry have adopted eight children and cared for another 23 kids in their nine-year stint as foster parents. They aren't just experts. They have experienced every emotional high and low and encountered virtually every situation imaginable as parents. Now, they want to share what they've learned with you.
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pretty good
- By Douglas Morton on 01-09-20
By: Mike Berry, and others
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The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption
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- By: Lori Holden, Crystal Hass
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- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Open adoption isn't just something parents do when they exchange photos, send emails, share a visit. It's a lifestyle that may feel intrusive at times, be difficult or inconvenient at other times. Tensions can arise even in the best of circumstances. But knowing how to handle these situations and how to continue to make arrangements work for the child involved is paramount. This book offers listeners the tools and the insight to do just that.
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Who is talking?
- By Robert on 06-26-18
By: Lori Holden, and others
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20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed
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- By: Sherrie Eldridge
- Narrated by: Rosemary Benson
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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In her groundbreaking first book, 20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge gave voice to the very real concerns of adopted children, whose unique perspectives offered unprecedented insight. In this all-new companion volume, Eldridge goes beyond those insights and shifts her focus to parents, offering them much-needed encouragement and hope.
By: Sherrie Eldridge
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Abandoned at Birth
- Searching for the Arms That Once Held Me
- By: Janet Sherlund
- Narrated by: Janet Sherlund
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Adoption is often painted as a happy, inspirational act—a baby finds a family and lives happily ever after. But the truth is that adopted children experience displacement and rupture from their mother and that trauma can impact an individual for a lifetime. Adoption can lead to feelings of loss and grief not just for the adoptee, but for the biological and adoptive parents as well. This startling fact comes vividly to life in Janet Sherlund’s heartbreaking memoir, Abandoned at Birth.
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How it feels.
- By Kindle Customer on 08-27-24
By: Janet Sherlund
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Who Is a Worthy Mother?
- An Intimate History of Adoption
- By: Rebecca Wellington
- Narrated by: April Doty
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Nearly every person in the United States is affected by adoption. In the wake of the U.S. Supreme Court's overturning of Roe v. Wade, the renewed debate over women's reproductive rights places an even greater emphasis on adoption. Wellington's timely–and deeply researched–account amplifies previously marginalized voices and exposes the social and racial biases embedded in the United States' adoption industry.
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Keep the Doors Open
- Lessons Learned from a Year of Foster Parenting
- By: Kristin Berry
- Narrated by: Sarah Zimmerman
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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As a teenager, Kristin Berry had heard all the horror stories surrounding foster care and adoption - abuse, neglect, rejection, anger, and misunderstandings. But instead of closing her heart, God opened it wide. This is Kristin's honest, unvarnished story of some of her experiences as a foster parent of 23 children over the course of nine years. What she learned is that living in a foster home is like living with a revolving door. You never know who will arrive or who you will have to say goodbye to. Leaving the door open means there will be heartache and pain, but also adventure and unexpected joy.
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A Intimate Looking into true grace and foster-care...
- By Peter on 03-09-20
By: Kristin Berry
What listeners say about Adoption Unfiltered
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Elias Rademacher
- 04-29-24
Gets you asking the critical questions
It is so easy to approach adoption in a simplistic way. But this audiobook will get you asking the crucial questions about adoption, whether you're an adoptee, a birth parent, have adopted, or are considering adopting. I love how this audiobook presents a very nuanced perspective on adoption, neither bashing adoption nor exalting it.
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- Matthew
- 03-05-24
Adoption Constellation: Must read
This book is amazing... I love the different perspectives! This book is divided into 4 sections. The first is told by an adult adoptee, the second is a birth parent, the third is from an adoptive parent and the final section brings it all together and talks about actionable changes in adoption. I am a birthmom and found something that resonated in each section. This is a must read for every member of the adoption constellation!
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- Brandon C Stallman
- 03-09-24
A hearty invitation to all who care about adoptees and the constellation
Sara, Kelsey, and Lori as well as countless other contributors extend a gracious invitation to all reading to listen, reflect, and then respond. They normalize the defensiveness and the charge that can come with discussing this polarizing topic. As a former foster care and adoption agency professional and a current private practice psychotherapist, this is a MUST listen for all of us. The developmental perspective informing this book offers all who care about adoption a way to understand and respond deeply to the the complexity and the ongoing needs and reforms that demand our attention. Thank you for writing a book I will recommend to all who will listen.
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- Mandy G.
- 05-08-24
A must read / listen for any prospective adoptive parents
This book was eye opening for my husband and I as we work though our adoption journey. Hearing from the view point of adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents (including those that never were matched) was eye opening and gave us so many new things to consider. It's not all smiles and sunshine - this book actually focuses on the opposite - and it provides much needed perspective, especially over the definition and true value of openness in adoption. Anyone that is touched by adoption should listen / read.
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