A Trans Man Walks into a Gay Bar Audiobook By Harry Nicholas cover art

A Trans Man Walks into a Gay Bar

A Journey of Self (and Sexual) Discovery

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A Trans Man Walks into a Gay Bar

By: Harry Nicholas
Narrated by: Ash Palmisciano
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About this listen

LONGLISTED FOR THE POLARI PRIZE 2024

'On the bookshelves, there was plenty of stuff on being gay, and much needed, joyous accounts of what it is to be trans, but nothing really that encapsulates what is it to be both - to exist in the hazy terrain between.'

After his relationship with his girlfriend of 5 years ended, Harry realised he was a single adult for the first time - not only that, but a single, transmasculine and newly out gay man.

Despite knowing it was the right decision, the reality of his new situation was terrifying. How could he be a gay man, when he was still learning what it was to be a man? Would the gay community embrace him or reject him? What would gay sex be like? And most importantly, would finding love again be possible?

In this raw, intimate and unflinchingly honest book, we follow Harry as he navigates the sometimes fraught and contradictory worlds of contemporary gay culture as a trans gay man, from Grindr, dating and gay bars, to saunas, sex and ultimately, falling in love. Harry's brave and uplifting journey will show you there is joy in finding who you are.

©2025 Harry Nicholas (P)2025 Hodder & Stoughton Limited Biographies & Memoirs LGBTQ+ Studies Feel-Good
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Critic reviews

"Brilliant and SO funny!" (Elliot Page - BAFTA and Emmy-awarding winning actor)
This singular exploration of one man's journey towards himself shows us we are infinitely distinct and unique, and all the stronger as a community for it. (Andrew McMillan, Poet (100 Queer Poems, Physical, Pandemonium))

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Profile Image for Iaah L

Young memoir meets call to action

This was a good book. Not exactly what I was expecting. I had thought it would delve more into the sociological side of being gay while trans (something akin to the writing style of Thomas Page McBee). This memoir was more educational in nature, using the author’s personal experiences to explain common questions or experiences related to being trans and gay. The second half is definitely more educational and leans into its soap box for trans rights, which is good but felt like it was written more for a cis audience than for trans people. I did appreciate the reference to other trans writers in history like Lou Sullivan and will be checking those writings out.

The speaker was good but the audio was a little odd at times with some words sounding cut off or the volume shifting.

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