A Goomba's Guide to Life
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Narrated by:
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Steven R. Schirripa
About this listen
Attention would-be paesans: Can’t distinguish “gabagool” from “pasta fazool”? Not sure how to properly accessorize your track suit with gold chains? Does the phrase “go to the mattresses” make you sleepy? Now Steven R. Schirripa, The Sopranos’ own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba’s Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy “from the neighborhood.”
Über-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV’s most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You’ll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do’s and don’ts (never, ever criticize a goomba’s mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).
With insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba’s Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.
©2003 Noelani, Inc. and Charles Fleming (P)2003 Random House, Inc., Random House Audio, A Division Of Random House, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"[It] absolutely killed me, stuffed my body in the trunk of a Monte Carlo, and then dumped me in the river." (Bill Maher)
"Finally, a Goomba guide for everyone that is one, knows one, or wants to be one. Steve Schirripa is a great storyteller with a touching and humorous story to tell." (James Gandolfini)
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Story
Have you ever had a goodbye lasting more than four hours? Do you lack the emotional capacity to say “I love you” so you just tell your loved ones to “watch out for deer”? Have you apologized to a stranger because she stepped on your foot? If you answered yes to any of these questions, there’s a good chance you’re a Midwesterner - or a Midwesterner at heart.
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Perfect for the Long Drive to WI
- By Amazon Customer on 01-24-22
By: Charlie Berens
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Chefs, Drugs and Rock & Roll
- How Food Lovers, Free Spirits, Misfits and Wanderers Created a New American Profession
- By: Andrew Friedman
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 14 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Chefs, Drugs and Rock & Roll transports listeners back in time to witness the remarkable evolution of the American restaurant chef in the 1970s and 1980s. Andrew Friedman goes inside Chez Panisse and other Bay Area restaurants to show how the politically charged backdrop of Berkeley helped spark this new profession; into the historically underrated community of Los Angeles chefs, including a young Wolfgang Puck; and into the clash of cultures between established French chefs in New York City and the American game changers.
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the reader makes the audiobook - unfortunately
- By Lawrie Thicke on 04-20-19
By: Andrew Friedman
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South Toward Home
- Adventures and Misadventures in My Native Land
- By: Julia Reed, Jon Meecham - foreword
- Narrated by: Julia Reed, Dan Bittner - introduction
- Length: 5 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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In thinking about her native land, Julia Reed quotes another Southern writer, Willie Morris, who said, “It’s the juxtapositions that get you down here.” These juxtapositions are, for Julia Reed, the soul of the South and in her warmhearted and funny new audiobook, South Toward Home, she chronicles her adventures through the highs and the lows of Southern life - the Delta hot tamale festival, a masked ball, a rollicking party in a boat on a sand bar, scary Christian billboards, and the southern affection for the lowly possum.
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Julia Reed IS the SOUTH
- By toni on 05-23-20
By: Julia Reed, and others
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Back of the House
- The Secret Life of a Restaurant
- By: Scott Haas
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 7 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Food writer and clinical psychologist Scott Haas wanted to know what went on inside the mind of a top chef - and what kind of emotional dynamics drove the fast-paced, intense interactions inside a great restaurant. To capture all the heat and hunger, he spent 18 months immersed in the kitchen of James Beard Award-winner Tony Maws's restaurant, Craigie on Main, in Boston. He became part of the family, experiencing the drama first-hand.
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Truly horrible narration
- By Fidge on 03-28-15
By: Scott Haas
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Cooking as Fast as I Can
- A Chef’s Story of Family, Food, and Forgiveness
- By: Cat Cora
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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In Cooking as Fast as I Can, Cat Cora reveals, for the first time, coming-of-age experiences from early childhood sexual abuse to the realities of life as a lesbian in the Deep South. She shares how she found her passion in the kitchen and went on to attend the prestigious Culinary Institute of America and apprentice under Michelin-star chefs in France. After her big break as a cohost on the Food Network's Melting Pot, Cat broke barriers by becoming the first-ever female Iron Chef.
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Great listen for a chef
- By Nikki on 04-10-24
By: Cat Cora
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Lunch in Paris
- A Love Story, with Recipes
- By: Elizabeth Bard
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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In Paris for a weekend visit, Elizabeth Bard sat down to lunch with a handsome Frenchman - and never went home again. Was it love at first sight? Or was it the way her knife slid effortlessly through her pavé au poivre, the steak's pink juices puddling into the buttery pepper sauce? Lunch in Paris is a memoir about a young American woman caught up in two passionate love affairs - one with her new beau, Gwendal, the other with French cuisine.
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ok to pass the time
- By Robin on 03-25-13
By: Elizabeth Bard
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Waiter to the Rich and Shameless
- Confessions of a Five Star Beverly Hills Server
- By: Paul Hartford
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Waiter to the Rich and Shameless is not just a peek into the secretive inner workings of a legendary five-star restaurant; it is not just a celebrity tell-all or a scathing corporate analysis. It is a top-tier waiter's personal coming-of-age story, an intimate look into the complicated challenges of serving in the country's most elite, Hollywood-centric dining room while fighting to maintain a sense of self and purpose.
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Not what I imagined
- By Autumn Larkin on 02-17-17
By: Paul Hartford
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Housebroken
- Admissions of an Untidy Life
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Laurie Notaro
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Number-one New York Times best-selling author Laurie Notaro isn't exactly a domestic goddess - unless that means she fully embraces her genetic hoarding predisposition, sneaks peeks at her husband's daily journal, or has made a list of the people she wants on her Apocalypse Survival team (her husband's not on it). Notaro chronicles her chronic misfortune in the domestic arts, including cooking, cleaning, and putting on Spanx while sweaty (which should technically qualify as an Olympic sport).
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Wonderful
- By Carlie on 07-28-16
By: Laurie Notaro
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Angelina's Bachelors
- A Novel, with Food
- By: Brian O'Reilly
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Far too young to be a widow, Angelina D’Angelo suddenly finds herself facing a life without her beloved husband, Frank. Late one night shortly after the funeral, she makes her way down to the kitchen and pours all of her grief and anger into the only outlet she has left - her passion for cooking.
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A Mouthwatering Comfort Listen
- By Blee Medel on 01-30-12
By: Brian O'Reilly
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The Kitchen Counter Cooking School
- How A Few Simple Lessons Transformed Nine Culinary Novices into Fearless Home Cooks
- By: Kathleen Flinn
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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After graduating from Le Cordon Bleu in Paris, writer Kathleen Flinn returned with no idea what to do next, until one day at a supermarket she watched a woman loading her cart with ultraprocessed foods. Flinn's "chefternal" instinct kicked in: she persuaded the stranger to reload with fresh foods, offering her simple recipes for healthy, easy meals.
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Just as much a self-help book as a cookbook.
- By J. Locke on 03-07-13
By: Kathleen Flinn
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JGV
- A Life in 12 Recipes
- By: Jean-Georges Vongerichten, Michael Ruhlman
- Narrated by: Eric Yves Garcia
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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From his first apprenticeship in France to his Michelin-starred restaurant empire, Jean-Georges Vongerichten’s cuisine is inspired by the freshest ingredients, the simplest techniques, and the drive to make the ordinary perfect. It all started at home. JGV is an invitation into the kitchen with a master chef. With humor and heart, Jean-Georges looks back on success and failure, sharing stories of cooking with legendary chefs Paul Bocuse and Louis Outhier, traveling in search of new and revelatory flavors, and building menus of his own.
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Informative and fun!
- By David Stuk on 11-24-22
By: Jean-Georges Vongerichten, and others
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The Way Life Should Be
- A Novel
- By: Christina Baker Kline
- Narrated by: Caitlin Davies
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Angela can feel the clock ticking. She is single in New York City, stuck in a job she doesn't want and a life that seems to have somehow just happened. She inherited a flair for Italian cooking from her grandmother, but she never seems to have the time for it - these days, her oven holds only sweaters. Tacked to her office bulletin board is a photo from a magazine of a tidy cottage on the coast of Maine - a charming reminder of a life that could be hers if she could only muster the courage to go after it.
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Simple story
- By Dianna Bogart on 06-09-15
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Confessions of a Carb Queen
- A Memoir
- By: Susan Blech, Caroline Bock
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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By the time Susan Blech was 38 years old, she weighed a staggering 468.1 pounds. She binged. She was "only a little chubby," or so she convinced herself. Gripping, sometimes shocking, and ultimately inspiring, Confessions of a Carb Queen is the story of how Susan changed her life to save her life, ultimately losing 250 pounds without surgery. Susan speaks candidly about eating binges, fat sex, and other topics no obese person has dared to address.
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Negative reviews are ridiculous.
- By Heather Marie on 01-07-16
By: Susan Blech, and others
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The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love
- By: Jill Conner Browne
- Narrated by: Jill Conner Browne
- Length: 4 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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To know the Sweet Potato Queens is to love them, and if you haven't heard about them yet, you will. Their royal ringleader, Jill Conner Browne, introduces the Queens to the world with this sly, hilarious manifesto about love, life, men, and the importance of being prepared. For more wit and wisdom, don't miss The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Audiobook and Financial Planner.
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Forget the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
- By Linda on 02-04-03
What listeners say about A Goomba's Guide to Life
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-07-21
Schirripa does this so well
This was great. Kinda short but really good. I love the way he talks with just the right amount of patter for a story. Funny in parts too. I loved him in Sopranos I think because he really IS like that.
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- Michele
- 01-11-21
Loved every second!
I absolutely love Steve Schirripa, and this book described my whole life! He did a great job and it was funny and fantastic! I highly recommend!
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- Tracy F.
- 03-08-22
Goomba
While there are a few funny lines in his story telling. He uses the word “Goomba” like 500 times!!!! The book is only 3 chapters, so do the math. I was a bit disappointed.
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- Ann Camarata
- 05-08-12
Goomba Time
Wonderfully written and narrated book. I've known a few Italian's in my time and no one compares to what a true Gumba is except one in Philadelphia. Steven Schirripa is a great storyteller and yet he tells it like it is. Loved the book and it gave be a better insight to Italians. Both of his books were fabulous. Keeping them in my library for future referencing.
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- MG
- 07-04-24
entertaining amd true
so funny. loved it. wish there was more to listen to. please write another book
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- Roy M. Thompson, Jr
- 09-10-21
Steve Schirripa Reads His Own Book
I learned about this book by listening to “Talking Sopranos”. the podcast that Michael Imperioli and Steve Schirripa put on and I really love that podcast! So I had to check out this book. If you want to find out a little bit about some Italian American cultural finer points, then check this out. It was fun to listen to- not too long, just about the right length on audiobook.
I wasn’t super surprised to find some of the facts expressed in this book to be true. But it was still very interesting. Give it a try.
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- D. James
- 02-17-18
Great advise for life.
This was great book to listen to. Just wished it was a longer. Could have listen to Steven’s take on all things “goomba” for hours. Very insightful and funny.
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Overall
- T. Pippin
- 12-08-03
Great Listen
This is well worth the effort. It is less than three hours long but that is plenty of time to enjoy the topic and the way Steve presents it. Well done and very funny.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kevin
- 06-24-15
Funny
The story itself told by Steve was very comical but hard to follow at times
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- gotminpins
- 05-14-20
Great listen
Easy and so entertaining! I love his voice! Wish it was longer, I could have listened all day!
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