Space Humor

It started out as a simple weapons delivery to a planetary warlord. But when Adam Cain—AKA The Human—is asked to transport an innocuous-looking package back to the warlord's capital, things take a turn for the worse. Yeah, you know what happens: Adam looks in the package! Now meet Siri, a sexy, feline-like mutant whose special powers have made her the target of the two most powerful warlords on the planet Ellios.

On May 22, 2018, every person on Earth sneezes. Simultaneously. Hours later, an alien spacecraft appears over New York City and broadcasts a dire message of impending doom. The future of the human race will depend on the whims of a solitary extraterrestrial who appears in the form of Walter Cronkite. Yes, that's right, Walter Cronkite, the deceased news anchor! Ex-FBI troubleshooter Jake Corby has faked his death and dropped out of sight, living like a hermit in a small town. But the president is convinced Corby's still alive. He wants Jake, with his unique problem-solving skills, added to ...

Once, John Irish was a legend in the porn industry, partying with the likes of John Holmes, Peter North, Nina Hartley, and Seka, but now he's on the far side of 50, and Ron Jeremy won't even return his phone calls. Desperate for any kind of paying work, he's sunk to the level of bit roles in grade-Z porn and is even considering applying to work at Wal-Mart, when hot-blooded starlet Mindy Copperhead comes into his life. He quickly discovers she's far more than a simple blowjob artist, but is in fact an advance scout for a distant alien race, sent to Earth to find...him.

After generations of conflict, an arranged marriage is set to unite two feuding royal families and bring peace to their worlds. But when bungling Captain Leo MacGavin botches the bride and groom’s first meeting, the wedding is off, and so is the truce! To stop an interplanetary war, Leo needs to make a royal love connection, and fast! But when he seeks help from his confidante Kellybean, he inadvertently sabotages her budding relationship as well. To further complicate matters, his ship is on the verge of catastrophic failure.

The Believer magazine presents a compendium of advice from producers, writers, and actors of The Daily Show, Saturday Night Live, Parks and Recreation, Late Show with David Letterman, The Hangover, and The Colbert Report, along with other musicians, cartoonists, New Yorker writers, and those similarly unqualified to offer guidance.

The location: London. The date: Very, very soon. Beset by multiple crises and buried under a growing mountain of debt, the leaders of the G7 have taken the only logical decision. They've sold the planet. When Toby, a penniless student, and his two new flatmates find out one morning on TV, they're surprised to find the Earth's new alien owners are staggeringly cute and bring the promise of a debt-free future. They're just getting ready to celebrate along with the rest of the world, when a chance encounter with a mysterious professor reveals the truth.

"Prizm is one fantastic novel. It starts mundane, then gets wild, with truly awful werebears and challenging alien cultures. How do Amazons reproduce? Violently! How do you control the leader you assign? You make a clone, and replace it if it gets ideas. Things make savage sense."—Piers Anthony "Prizm takes the most awesome elements of many of the major blockbuster sci-fi and fantasy movies in the last twenty years and gives them a dazzling spin! Were-monsters, ruthless villains, Amazon warrior women, runaway clones, and take-no-prisoners Scotsmen are just the start." --M.B. "Don't let ...

Mum and Dad have left—gone to Mars, and they’re never coming back. Freedom at last! But this isn’t one of Dad’s weird jokes; it’s REAL. It’s up to 10-year-old Eliza and her genius little brother, Johnnie, to find out what’s going on, and launch a rescue. Can they handle vampire squids, a suspicious villain, a secret island full of traps and a trip into space? And—more importantly—will they ever get their parents back?

Astrid Atomic, a 6-year-old human person, goes to bed every night like every other 6-year-old human person. But unlike many other 6-year-olds she doesn’t stay there. The minute the lights are off and the coast is clear the Space Cadet siren goes off, her uniform goes on, and 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 - WHOOSH! - she blasts off on board the spaceship Stardust! Along with her best pals Beryl, Professor Quackers and Zoink, Astrid is given her mission from The Chief - to retrieve the special trophy for the Supersonic Saturn race!

Space Traipse strikes again with this parody of ST: TAS “Yesteryear.” An away mission in time erases Ensign Ellie Doall, replacing her with a busybody alternate self that wreaks havoc across the Union. Now a vengeful warlord razes the galaxy on a mission to kill her, and her former friends are glad to help. Can Ellie stop her younger self from ruining their life? Cringe at the improbable character 'shipping. Learn the secret to the Impulsive’s Miracle Ensign. Watch Warlord Enigo LaFuentes put Khan to shame. Snag this Space Traipse adventure and let’s do the time plot as only the HMB...

More than a century ago, the network of MASTTs, the space-time tunnels that made interstellar travel possible, violently collapsed, the backlash destroying a lot of the solar system's space-based infrastructure. Cooper "Coop" Douglas, a thief and conman is in serious debt to outer-system crime-lord Eric Galioto. While trying to salvage a valuable chunk of a space station destroyed by the backlash, Coop makes a startling discovery: MASTT Primus, the tunnel that used to lead to New Earth, is open again. That raises an intriguing possibility.

When aliens from different parts of the Universe encounter each other in 5342 AB, old friendships are renewed and new friendships begin as 19-year-old Cassiopeia upends the ancient Shoomaran Empire. And when she's done, nothing in the Universe will ever be the same again. Second Contact is the second book of The Chaos Trilogy*. It is preceded by The Chaos Machine and followed by Mankind 2.0, which bridges the first two books and ties everything together. Author's note: Whether you enjoy reading this or not, I would appreciate any honest reviews. It's the only way I can get any feedback as ...

In Geppetto’s Daughter, family bonds are stretched, various appendages are cut off, castle walls are breached, warranties are voided, space battles occur, jokes are made about pianists and, of course, a liberal amount of alcohol is consumed throughout. All this for your reading pleasure. This novel supports Amazon’s ‘look inside’ feature so if you like witty dialogue and interesting characters coupled with an absorbing story line click on the cover image and read a bit. If you like it, buy it. If you really like it, buy three or four. Geppetto’s Daughter is the third book in the ...

The Pan of Hamgee is not a natural knight in shining armor. Yet he has escaped from police custody in K’Barth, switched realities and foiled Lord Vernon’s attempt to kidnap Ruth, the Chosen One, from the Festival Hall. Pretty good, he thinks. However, Ruth thinks otherwise. Being pursued by Lord Vernon is bad enough. Now, thanks to The Pan, she’s on the run. They are both alive, of course, but with Lord Vernon on their tail neither of them can be sure how long for.

A mysterious pyramid appears in Chicago, oozing fantastic creatures and sucking humans into our own mythological past. It's an alien invasion from within! When a special forces team sent to capture an AWOL official gets into deep trouble with a certain one-eyed Norse god, redoubtable comparative mythologist Jerry Lukacs must rescue them, strike a deal with the droll and dangerous Loki, and risk bringing on Ragnarok itself to once again save human myth from alien domination.

It’s been three years since Esa left her backwater planet to join the ranks of the Justified. Together, she and fellow agent Jane Kamali have been traveling across the known universe, searching for children who share Esa’s supernatural gifts. On a visit to a particularly remote planet, they learn that they’re not the only ones searching for gifted children. They find themselves on the tail of a mysterious being with impossible powers who will stop at nothing to get his hands on the very children that Esa and Jane are trying to save.

For nearly a century, the Justified have been searching for gifted children to help prevent the return of the pulse. Until recently, they thought they were the only ones. Jane Kamali and her telekinetic protégé, Esa, now 17, barely managed to claim victory against a Cyn - a being of pure energy - hell bent on hunting down the gifted. Now, they face an army. The Cyn and their followers will stop at nothing to find Esa and the others. No one knows what they want, but Jane, Esa, and their allies in the Justified are determined to find out.

There are two ways to be a hero. One is more violent than the other. And the universe needs a hero, because a mysterious entity known as the Fathom is terrorizing the known universe and seizing control. But they’ve made one mistake: They woke Rico, the universe's greatest killer, from a coma. And he’s decided he might be the good guy this time. But being a hero isn’t easy. Rico has to work with others (not his favorite), and the impossible odds means it’s going to take an insane scheme or two (more to his liking).

Death is burning with deadly heat and fumes towards them. They stand on the edge of a tall skyscraper's roof, a raging fire roaring towards them. There is no escape. They take each other’s hands and kiss for the last time before they choose to leap to their deaths together. Twist! They are rescued. An older dog, blind in one eye, limps across a lonely street, thinking it is safe. Suddenly a roaring engine is heard; a drunken driver crashes around a corner and weaves out of control for the helpless dog. Twist! The dog is saved. Neither the dog nor the young couple knows what just happened....

Over half of Earth's population has left the planet, mainly as contract workers for aliens, and the homeworld is losing relevance to the emigrants. The EarthCent president takes on the task of making sure that humanity isn't permanently stuck in a rut of low-skilled labor. Can the ambassador put aside her new-found obsession with the Galactic Free Press crossword puzzle and help save the day?