Space Humor

Earth is rising in the House of Voltar.... And there’ll be hell to pay! That’s right. The invasion is on...and it’s coming soon to a galaxy near you. The action couldn’t be hotter, and the plot couldn’t be more diabolical. Earth is coming to Voltar - and the Voltarians won’t know what hit them. Murder, blackmail, drugs, psychoanalysis, PR firms, sex-crazed teenyboppers, riots in the streets, women in chains. These are the powerful secret weapons of war.

It's simple...strap a rotating habitat to an untested fusion rocket, put six astronauts in experimental cryogenic sleep, hurtle them at nine-tenths the speed of light toward an undiscovered planet near an unknown star, wake them nine years later, and save all of humankind. SIRIUS-ly? All Asil Silverwood wanted to do was pilot commercial shuttles between the Earth and the Moon. To get money to pay for the training, he enrolled in one of those cryogenic deep-space drug studies. When he was awoken NINE YEARS later by a smart-ass AI aboard an experimental starship near the star Sirius, he was ...

Indrajit Twang is the 427th epic poet of his people, the only person alive to carry their entire epic history and mythology in his head. His people are dwindling in number, and if he can't find a successor in the great city of Kish, their story will disappear with them. Fix grew up a foundling on the ancient streets of Kish and is making his living as a mercenary. The woman he loves married someone else, and Fix has turned to buying and selling risk on the black market - but is he trying to impress her, or prove something to himself?

6066: In Emperor Thracin's brave new galaxy, humans are not citizens but indentured labourers, working to repay the debt they unwittingly incurred when they settled on Gahraan - a desert planet already owned by the emperor himself. Asha Akindele knows she's just another voiceless cog working the assembly lines that fuel his vast imperial war machine. Her only rebellion: studying stolen aeronautics manuals in the dead of night. But then a cloaked stranger arrives to deliver an impossible message, and her life changes in an instant.

Steven Erikson has taken his lifelong passion for Star Trek and transformed it into a smart, inventive, and hugely entertaining spoof on the whole overblown mankind-exploring-space-for-the-good-of-all-species-but-trashing-stuff-with-a-lot-of-high-tech-gadgets-along-the-way adventure. The result is a novel that deftly parodies the genre while also paying fond homage to it.

A squad of space marines, Sarge and the Boys, are ordered to assist a more prestigious squad on a planetary assault. They all are KIA on paper. Is there such a thing in 3013? (KIA or paper?) The narrator, Bucky, has to come to the rescue, but his only avenue is through the galactic matrix inter-tubes. His story is augmented by a second narrator who offers his own opinion of the action. Try the free teaser. If you find the banter confusing, you may want to skip this format of entertainment. (I wouldn't want to rip you off for a buck.) This story is an action farce, an absurdist play with ...

Which of the following short stories would you read first? A.) A stubborn donkey challenges a Tennessee race horse. B.) A chess match ends in bloodshed. C.) Two sisters beg a funeral director to play their daddy's favorite Johnny Cash song. D.) A shooter takes aim from a church baptistry. E.) Two astronauts survive a horrific spinout only to return to earth and find everybody else walking around in super slow motion. Why not read them all? They're all in this far-flung collection of short stories and more. Scroll up and get them now with just one click.

On the other side of the galaxy, the Cayl Empire has decided to wind down operations and the Stryx are planning to pick up the pieces. Kelly is tapped to host an open house event on Union Station to tempt the aliens into joining up, but does anybody other than the Stryx actually want the merger to take place?

What's in your genes? Baker doesn't know...but he's about to find out! Baker Holden is just trying to get things together. Things have been getting a little strange. Unbeknownst to him, he's been visited by aliens and been indoctrinated into their breeding program. Their goal; the offspring that will carry his rare genetic make-up. Join Baker's complete adventures; where he faces his daughter's BFF, the Summer Interns, His Ex-Wife, and more! Is he prepared for what the aliens' manipulative breeding plan will do to the hearts and minds of all the fertile, unprotected ladies in his life? Find...

The stories you’ve dreamed of; the people you crave to meet; or would love to be. The aliens who’d make you shiver, or laugh. The huge risks of guiding your spacecraft here, or there. The adventures you’d have if only you had the nerve… Or the utter romance of doing that… The humour of orbital disasters and alien conflicts; the perils of ill-advised time-interference; the sheer romance of null-gravity love; the terrors of a leaky hull; the fear of a bullying boss when you’re a thousand light years beyond.; the choices you face in the big, black Vac. Mostly a laugh or a satisfied...

That which is not dead will not rest nor lie. And with the strange passing of aeons, the petty affairs of men are of little consequence to the Old Ones, providing they have their fair share of sacrificial souls on which to feed. Blaise is a lowly policeman, tasked with patrolling a huge rural beat where everything appears, on the surface at least, idyllic. That’s until he’s seen the carcasses of the dogs, found in the woods, mutilated and drained of blood. And now humans are disappearing too and there’s talk of witchcraft, a folklore, long-thought dead with the execution of the last ...

When Vanti and O'Neill graduated at the top of their academy class, they thought they'd get their dream assignments. Instead they end up in security on Station Kelly-Kornienko. Sure, the station if glitzy, but they're basically well-dressed security guards.

Contains books one and two of the Metal Fury series: I Am Mech and Mech Planet.

Holy hedgehogs! Everyone's favorite bounty hunting duo is back! Nova Texas' favorite son, Duke LaGrange, and his silent swordsman sidekick, Ishiro'shea, once again find themselves unceremoniously removed from Cyborg Joe's and deposited on a planet at the least opportune time. The only way for the tandem to escape the harsh world of Psitakki is for Duke to survive the most dangerous underground pit fighting tournament in the cosmos.

A humorous story of the migration of our early ancestors...Homo erectus and Homo sapiens Did they know where they were going? Did they know how to get there? Did they know the risks of their journey? WHY?”

What are we? Where did we come from? Where are we going? Who’s in charge? WHY?

WHY, after almost five million years, did our early ancestors suddenly believe they had to alter their very beings and their way of life to achieve the spoken word…something they’d never heard, had no knowledge of and had no reason to believe they needed?

Have you ever wondered what is lurking on the inside of the mirror that you look into each morning? Is it simply your reflection? Or is someone or something looking back at you? When Sean Ekans, buys an antique mirror at an estate sale, he finds the word ‘ZAX” inscribed on the back. Little does Sean know that this is no ordinary mirror. Sean is about to embark on the adventure of his life. Barwell Hollings presents Portal to ZAX.

Nicola Berry's life is turned upside down the day a man from another planet comes to Earth on a strange mission. He's looking for somebody to travel back to his home planet and convince their stuck-up princess not to turn Earth into her planet's giant garbage dump. When Nicola is chosen as the Earthling Ambassador, she's not sure that she's up to the task. Can Nicola and her friends save the planet in time? Or will the nasty Princess Petronella cover Earth in a galactic ton of garbage?

We always knew in the back of our minds that we'd have to use them on our own world if we were to save it, but I still can't get around the fact we vaporized D.C. to keep the demons at bay. Every day that passes sees humanity more and more on the brink of obliteration. That said, we've managed to secure some intel that gives us a glimmer of hope when it comes to our species' survival. In short, we've got the opportunity to get behind enemy lines—as in, off the planet—and sow chaos amongst their ranks. And from there, who knows?