Space Humor

Sick of the stress, aggravation, and multiple genocides they've had to put up with lately, accidental space hero Cal Carver and his crew set off to start a new life in a distant corner of the galaxy. Six tedious days of warp-speed and board games later, they arrive in a sector filled with new hope, new opportunities, and new adventures. Too broke to take advantage of any of these things, they are forced to accept a series of increasingly demeaning jobs just to make ends meet.

Author's warning This here silly comedy was my first, and very daft, attempt at writing a novel, and was intended to spoof the very genre I went on to write in. It's only up here on Amazon because it still makes me laugh... If you want to read something good, take a tilt at Olives, Beirut or Shemlan for starters. If you like a thriller closer to home, then I'd recommend A Decent Bomber. And if you like a touch of the psychological, then Birdkill. Only read this one if you really must - and don't go complaining or saying you weren't warned... Ben Jonson is a doctor in Richmond, London. Life ...

“Trust your musta,” Pilots yelled to each other as they ran out of Smuggler’s Corner, hoping to get to their ships before the Delmar Vipers got there. Piloting his 29-year-old second hand ship, Thomas Sellick finds himself in trouble when a shortcut takes him through the restricted Monarch Bluff Meteor Field. Tossed into a Tuez prison, he meets Keet, a small green mischievous alien, Journey, a fifty-year-old hippie from the planet Haight Ashbury and Journey’s partner Copilot Mick, an android with a computer brain. After friends of Thomas help the four escape, they become main ...

The unhappy inhabitants of planet Krikkit are sick of looking at the night sky above their heads - so they plan to destroy it. The universe, that is. Now only five individuals stand between the killer robots of Krikkit and their goal of total annihilation.

Captain Vance Turbo has been struggling for the past few years, his reputation in tatters and most of his allies having turned against him. Offered a chance to go after a sinister crime syndicate at a peace treaty in Notha Space, he jumps at it. However, no sooner does he do so that he discovers that a malevolent AI and even more powerful forces are at work...ones that threaten everyone and everything in the galaxy. Will Vance somehow stumble his way into saving the universe again or will his luck finally run out?

Lyla Cowan knows that the ties that bind the most are the ones you put on yourself. But when you get them untied, there are still the ones others put on you. Freedom from your own ties, though, can be a powerful thing. And being free of them gives you a different perspective on what else is going on. The Terran situation is still unresolved. The Ralnor situation might be even worse than she thought. And now she has to deal with being politically part of the Imperium and League of Worlds. All while dealing with the chaos her new system has brought her. Can she now rise to the challenge of ...

The Duchy of Hunter's Run has moved to the Gaia galaxy. But without its Duke. Twenty five billion people have appeared in the Gaia system unexpectedly, and only one person knows how or why. Yet preparations for fifteen billion exist, but only one person remembers the work being done. The one who knows, and the one who remembers, are the same, but Jane is not human. So good is she at hiding being an Artificial Intelligence, no-one knows except her fellow AI's. To her falls the responsibility for guiding Humanity as they come to terms with not knowing where they are. The how and why seem ...

The Galactic Empire is missing its most precious resource: a sense of humor. Dax Bidet is just another unemployed, thirty-something slacker still living with his parents. Along with his best friend Buck, he spends his days making pranks and uploading them to social media. But things are about to take a drastic turn. When Dax and Buck are mistakenly abducted by aliens, they soon find themselves in a teeming galaxy sliding towards war. The only way to keep the peace is to regale the rebellious planets with… comedy. Dax has just been given the unenviable title of space clown. He has to ...

When Pegasus Quincy, sheriff’s deputy, steps into the leaky rowboat to investigate a murder at a mysterious artists’ colony, her troubles have just begun. A new detective blames Peg when she gets snake bit. A friend gets caught in a drug raid and asks Peg’s assistance. Her new roomie monopolizes the kitchen, until Peg’s coonhound Reckless eats too many French macarons. And then there is the cat lady who accuses Peg of stealing a valuable painting. Surely Peg wouldn’t do that, would she? Join Pegasus Quincy as she delves into the nefarious underworld of art auctions, mid-century ...

In his last life, Liam lived as a moral, responsible person...but died deep in debt and betrayed by his wife. Reborn into the ruling family of a vast interstellar empire, Liam knows that life is divided between the downtrodden and the ones who do the stomping, so this time he's going to take what he wants and live for himself. But somehow, things refuse to work out that way. Despite doing his best to become a tyrant, Liam's decisions lead to nothing but peace and prosperity for the empire under his rule, and he just gets more and more popular!

Here for the first time the stories and short novels of the war with the Outs are collected into a novel-length chronicle. The Outs had mental powers they could use to make humans see illusions and convince them to change sides. Obviously, they were unbeatable - until some troublesome humans found their Achilles' heel.

It's simple...strap a rotating habitat to an untested fusion rocket, put six astronauts in experimental cryogenic sleep, hurtle them at nine-tenths the speed of light toward an undiscovered planet near an unknown star, wake them nine years later, and save all of humankind. SIRIUS-ly? All Asil Silverwood wanted to do was pilot commercial shuttles between the Earth and the Moon. To get money to pay for the training, he enrolled in one of those cryogenic deep-space drug studies. When he was awoken NINE YEARS later by a smart-ass AI aboard an experimental starship near the star Sirius, he was ...

Jon Hunter is back. Whether he likes it or not! Be careful what you ask for. A higher being might be listening. It's been 2 days since Jon Hunter reset the timeline, by locking the Darkness away forever. 2 days of grateful rest. For him. For the rest of the team, it feels like a year has passed, and they're stuck in a limbo they cannot escape. Jane wants Jon to get back to work, and a higher power seems to want the same thing. But Jon isn't ready yet, and Jane thinks he only needs a wakeup call. But when has anything Jon Hunter related ever been as simple as a wakeup call? Weird is normal ...

Captain Willard Phule has whipped his troops into shape, turning Phule's Company from the laughingstock of the Legion into...a crack team of casino security guards. Now his company is deployed to help an underdeveloped planet. And what better way to utilize their major area of expertise - goofing off - than to turn the planet into the biggest intergalactic playground ever?

The galaxy is at war, and Space Team just can't seem to stay out of trouble. Following one close-call too many, the team hides out on a tiny backwater moon, hoping the hostilities between Zertex and the Symmorium will all just blow over. But when first officer Loren's brother is taken prisoner and sentenced to death by the Symmorium, Cal and the others must make a choice - a choice that could spell the end of Space Team forever....

When bounty hunter Duke LaGrange and his oft-inebriated Japanese-Irish ninja companion, Ishiro’shea, entered their favorite watering hole, Cyborg Joe’s Grill N’ Go & The Why Not Saloon, they had no idea that they would soon be gobbled up by an unhinged astral anomaly and deposited on an uncharted primitive world. Few things are worse than undeveloped planets, especially those that haven’t even made it to the soufflé stage. To top it off, this particular planet comes with its own insane ruler and an Orb That Controls Everything and Must Be Respected.

Dorian Hawke's daily routine was pretty straightforward. Wake up, pull his weight around the village, eat potatoes, go to bed. Not too shabby. Not very interesting, maybe, but it was honest work. Then a boat falls like a meteor from the sky. Next thing he knows, a gorgeous elf and stunning faun tell him that magical blood runs through his veins, and they need him to navigate their ship through space.

Vance Turbo, Hero of Space, has spent most of his hard-won officer's career helping refugees. This ends when a star gets blown up and he accidentally ends up saving everyone. Now the captain of the E.S.S Ares, he is on a goodwill mission to Contested Space. Unfortunately, his crew is made up of people who couldn't qualify for Space Academy but are now in thanks to lowered enlistment standards.

Cal Carver's space team is broke. When they pick up a distress signal from a luxury space cruiser, they think their luck might be about to change. And it does; sadly, not in the way they'd hoped. Someone has detonated a time bomb aboard the cruiser - an experimental device designed to shatter time itself. As the team passes through the fragments, their personal timelines begin moving at very different speeds, and an ageing Cal is forced to live out decades aboard the ship surrounded by his now statuelike crewmates and the mutated, inbred descendants of the cruiser's former inhabitants.

Lyla Cowan has given up fighting the changes in her life. The Unbound Mercenary Company is expanding ahead of schedule, and she’s just rolling with it now. They’ve made a name for themselves fighting pirates. But there are always more pirates. The human spine is on the way back to Ralnor space, if you take a dogleg. And with the lower end opening up for new colonization at long last, the piracy problem there needs a solution. What do you do with the unkind element making lives harder? You get Lyla interested. When Unkind is as Unkind does, you need the Unbound. The Hunter Imperium ...