Space Humor

Welcome to the Grand Abeona Hotel: home of the finest food, the sweetest service, and the very best views the galaxy has to offer. Year round it moves from planet to planet, system to system, pampering guests across the furthest reaches of the milky way. The last word in sub-orbital luxury - and a magnet for intrigue. Intrigues such as: Why are there love poems in the lobby intray? How many Imperial spies are currently on board? What is the true purpose of the Problem Solver's conference? And perhaps most pertinently - who is driving the ship?

Decades ago, Masha hid under a table and watched her parents die. Now, with war in the streets and chaos in the government, she can at last put the ultimate piece of her revenge into action. But it will involve murder, deception, and cunning on an unprecedented scale, and she's no longer as certain as she once was that she can pull this off. In the meantime, behind the barricades, the rest of the crew is trying desperately to survive as the Svodrani System government brings its full weight to bear. And surviving a war against the entire System might be a step too far, even for them.…

6066: In Emperor Thracin's brave new galaxy, humans are not citizens but indentured labourers, working to repay the debt they unwittingly incurred when they settled on Gahraan - a desert planet already owned by the emperor himself. Asha Akindele knows she's just another voiceless cog working the assembly lines that fuel his vast imperial war machine. Her only rebellion: studying stolen aeronautics manuals in the dead of night. But then a cloaked stranger arrives to deliver an impossible message, and her life changes in an instant.

Once, John Irish was a legend in the porn industry, partying with the likes of John Holmes, Peter North, Nina Hartley, and Seka, but now he's on the far side of 50, and Ron Jeremy won't even return his phone calls. Desperate for any kind of paying work, he's sunk to the level of bit roles in grade-Z porn and is even considering applying to work at Wal-Mart, when hot-blooded starlet Mindy Copperhead comes into his life. He quickly discovers she's far more than a simple blowjob artist, but is in fact an advance scout for a distant alien race, sent to Earth to find...him.

On the other side of the galaxy, the Cayl Empire has decided to wind down operations and the Stryx are planning to pick up the pieces. Kelly is tapped to host an open house event on Union Station to tempt the aliens into joining up, but does anybody other than the Stryx actually want the merger to take place?

Over half of Earth's population has left the planet, mainly as contract workers for aliens, and the homeworld is losing relevance to the emigrants. The EarthCent president takes on the task of making sure that humanity isn't permanently stuck in a rut of low-skilled labor. Can the ambassador put aside her new-found obsession with the Galactic Free Press crossword puzzle and help save the day?

The second book in the critically-ignored comedy sci-fi series continues to solidify Wetherell's claim to the throne of Douglas Adams! After announcing to the public that the Massive Ball of Death is coming to destroy everything, Bip finds himself locked away with the other criminally insane. Aided by his psyentific talent for exploding things and creating the random igloo, Bip manages to escape and team up with the immortal Handen Strike, the first Volunteer who ventured out to spread the Clarion’s message of total world devastation.

The Wanderers have just moved on from Union Station, and the ambassador is ready to take her first vacation in 15 years. Unfortunately, the rules on paid vacation for EarthCent employees have changed for the worse, retroactively. Libby suggests spending some time exploring the station as an alternative, and Kelly cautiously goes along with it. Back at the embassy, while the cat's away, the mice will play.

"Utterly absorbing…" — The Prairies Book Review The Race at Valli Ha'i is the sixth book of The Chaos Trilogy and occurs 5,341 years after The Goddess of the Gillani. Five hundred years previously, the known Universe had finally run out of dark matter. As the cost of energy increased exponentially, the prolonged recession quickly deepened into a full-blown centuries-long depression. While it would only be a matter of time before another major dark lode was discovered, it was statistically unlikely to be found in time to save everyone. Unless some wildly improbable sequence of events ...

In Geppetto’s Daughter, family bonds are stretched, various appendages are cut off, castle walls are breached, warranties are voided, space battles occur, jokes are made about pianists and, of course, a liberal amount of alcohol is consumed throughout. All this for your reading pleasure. This novel supports Amazon’s ‘look inside’ feature so if you like witty dialogue and interesting characters coupled with an absorbing story line click on the cover image and read a bit. If you like it, buy it. If you really like it, buy three or four. Geppetto’s Daughter is the third book in the ...

Meet Mars! The red planet. Planet Marvelous. Favorite sibling of Earth (or so he claims). Sometimes they're close (just 34.5 million miles apart). Sometimes they need space (250 million miles apart)! Earth and Mars have a lot in common - clouds, mountains, polar icecaps. And while Earth has Earthlings, Mars makes a persuasive case for why people should make the journey to spend time with him. His day is seven minutes longer! He is home to the largest volcano in the whole solar system. He's, well, marvelous.

I'm Jace O'Malley, back from the outer reaches of civilization. My adventures have only just begun. Dad's paralyzed, and I'm starting at a new school. Yeah, socialization. Fun. But things at school take a drastically terrible turn. Soon, I'm on the run for my life, and make all kinds of discoveries better left in the past. Hopefully I'll survive this mess! Join me on my latest adventure!

Jakk’s Journey is a coming-of-age story about a high school boy who builds a spaceship, flies toward Betelgeuse, and has adventures. He befriends aliens, grapples with sex and love and curious robots, dabbles in the supernatural, queries the mysterious and powerful God program, and battles evil forces hellbent on planetary destruction. Why is he being tailpiped around the galaxy by Sheela, his beguiling yet snarky female classmate? What started things, anyway: was it his suspension, a squirrel falling from a tree, the abandoned tablet, a science competition gone awry, or Sheela’s ...

As I grapple with the weight of responsibility as the captain of a formidable dreadnought, I'm thrust headlong into a relentless battle for the survival of the last vestiges of civilization. The number of beautiful women I care for has grown, as has the number of my children, and their safety has become my unwavering priority. To protect them and ensure a brighter future, I must confront ruthless alien mutants and savage space pirates, odds that seem insurmountable.

As Dirk and Nora's adventure to the stars continues, Nora inadvertently introduces feminism to a planet with the gender politics (and fashions) of a 1950's B-movie while Dirk struggles to fend off an old flame. With all this going on, will they still be able to hale the advance of the Second Saturnian Empire? Or will they fail, ending this series at book two? Find out inside! (Or, you know, find out when the third book comes out and kind of spoils the suspense by its mere existence. You can probably find out that way, too. But what's the fun in that?)

Caught in the ultimate tourist trap, exiled in a bizarre galaxy, Captain Leo MacGavin is desperate to find the mythical alien technology that will send his crew home. But when his crush on the ship’s hologram causes him to follow a shady lead, the Americano Grande is trapped by a pair of all-powerful space gods. Duty-bound to protect their planet, these sexy centurions refuse to allow passage until the crew proves they are a harmless pleasure vessel. Fortunately, all they have to do is show their passengers a good time.

After taking down the two most powerful mafia bosses in the system, ex-smuggler pilot Jez and the crew race back to the capital to head off an impending civil war in the ensuing power vacuum. But to stop a bloodbath, they need to buy themselves time to prepare. So while Masha, Ysbel, and Tanya provide a distraction, Jez and Lev infiltrate a government paralyzed by the news, while Tae goes out into the volatile streets to neutralize the gangs who are more than willing to prove they’re the mafia’s natural successors. But preventing a civil war is more complicated than it sounds.

Being a cyborg was so much better when all his parts worked. Avion’s nanotechnology stopped functioning after some experimentation done on him by the military. They broke him and now, Avion is no better than a human, even more annoying, he’s dying. But at least he completed his final mission. He saved, One. Mysterious and alluring, Avion isn’t the only person who wonders what surprises this woman hides. The human military and their alien allies fear what she’s capable of and will stop at nothing to destroy her. However, the one thing they didn’t take into account is that the ...

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! The Empire State Building has vanished into thin air! Gone, too, are Grant’s Tomb and Grand Central Station, and all hell is breaking loose in New York City! What’s the story? One grizzled old newspaper reporter known simply as Pop - a role made for Walter Matthau - is on top of it...and better stay there, because his livelihood is on the line. If Pop fails to get to the bottom of the vanishing landmarks, his job will disappear as well - and land in the hands of the newspaper publisher’s son-in-law.

Matteo, an aerospace engineer, returns home after working on a recovered spacecraft, expecting a sense of accomplishment. However, an unsettling feeling gnaws at him, and he can't shake the sense that something is amiss. Despite a reassuring doctor's report declaring his health normal, Matteo's unease persists. As he succumbs to exhaustion and drifts into sleep, Matteo awakens to a reality beyond comprehension. No longer in his own body, he finds himself inhabiting the unfamiliar form of another being. Bewildered and disoriented, he discovers the shocking truth: his body has been hijacked ...