Space Humor

Author's warning This here silly comedy was my first, and very daft, attempt at writing a novel, and was intended to spoof the very genre I went on to write in. It's only up here on Amazon because it still makes me laugh... If you want to read something good, take a tilt at Olives, Beirut or Shemlan for starters. If you like a thriller closer to home, then I'd recommend A Decent Bomber. And if you like a touch of the psychological, then Birdkill. Only read this one if you really must - and don't go complaining or saying you weren't warned... Ben Jonson is a doctor in Richmond, London. Life ...

Deep down here by the dark water lived old Gollum, a small slimy creature. I don’t know where he came from, nor who or what he was. He was Gollum—as dark as darkness, except for two big round pale eyes in his thin face. He had a little boat, and he rowed about quite quietly on the lake; for lake it was, wide and deep and deadly cold.

Rory Thorne is a princess with 13 fairy blessings, the most important of which is to see through flattery and platitudes. As the eldest daughter, she always imagined she'd inherit her father's throne and govern the interplanetary Thorne Consortium. Then, her father is assassinated, her mother gives birth to a son, and Rory is betrothed to the prince of a distant world. When Rory arrives in her new home, she uncovers a treacherous plot to unseat her newly betrothed and usurp his throne.

Karen Drayson was a rising star in the Terran Fighter Corps. But being a woman and a star in the Terran military was a problem. Banished to command an old cruiser and sent out on pirate patrol, she’s been recalled home early. After two years away, she and her crew need a rest. But what they need, and expect is there, is not what awaits them. What Karen’s about to find will completely redefine the term, ‘Glass Ceiling’. The Hunter Imperium Universe Is best read in this order: The Spacemage Chronicle Yesterday's Spacemage Today's Spacemage Tomorrow's Spacemage The Hunter Legacy ...

For years, the ancient alien AI known as Skippy (the Magnificent, don’t forget that part) has been able to do one impossible thing after another. What is his secret? It’s simple: 100 percent Grade-A extreme awesomeness. And also because he had never been faced with an opponent of equal power. Until now. This time, he might need a little help from a band of filthy monkeys.

Contains books six and seven of the Bob and Nikki series: Lost in Transit and Captain Caveman....

As Chinese and US spacecraft compete to be the first to land on Mars, a former astronaut, his cousin, and four teens from Florida decide to take matters into their own hands. If they can quickly build their own space-worthy ship using scrap metal, appliances, and power tools, they have a chance to come from behind - thanks to an inventive new power source that can propel them to the Red Planet within three days. No guts, no glory.

Karen Drayson is coming to terms with her new reality. Not that any of it seems all that real. The League of Worlds is giving her conflicting goals. While her admirals keep telling her she’s barely adequate. The only real part is her standing at the gates to her homeworld as their list of enemies expands. And wondering if today is when the admirals replace her. Looking up through the Glass Ceiling is one thing. But above it, is the Hard Ceiling. The Hunter Imperium Universe Is best read in this order: The Spacemage Chronicle Yesterday's Spacemage Today's Spacemage Tomorrow's Spacemage The...

The critically acclaimed author of The Radleys shares a clever, heartwarming, and darkly insightful novel about an alien who comes to Earth to save humans from themselves. When an extraterrestrial visitor arrives on Earth, his first impressions of the human species are less than positive. But as time goes on, he starts to realize there may be more to this weird species than he has been led to believe. Eventually, the narrator sees hope and redemption in the humans' imperfections and begins to question the very mission that brought him there.

Captain Vance Turbo has been struggling for the past few years, his reputation in tatters and most of his allies having turned against him. Offered a chance to go after a sinister crime syndicate at a peace treaty in Notha Space, he jumps at it. However, no sooner does he do so that he discovers that a malevolent AI and even more powerful forces are at work...ones that threaten everyone and everything in the galaxy. Will Vance somehow stumble his way into saving the universe again or will his luck finally run out?

Facing annihilation at the hands of the warlike Vogons? Time for a cup of tea! Join the cosmically displaced Arthur Dent and his uncommon comrades in arms in their desperate search for a place to eat, as they hurtle across space powered by pure improbability.

Karen Drayson is past her worst fear now. But that ‘rug’ just won’t go away. Out in the cluster, things are getting worse. But only those returned from there have any idea about it. What is going on with the Alliance which has stood for four millennia? How does anyone take a member who now has a military dictatorship seriously? For Karen, that’s just background. All she knows is the stakes just keep getting higher, and the ‘rug’ keeps moving. What will be the fallout from a Hybrid Eclipse? The Hunter Imperium Universe Is best read in this order: The Spacemage Chronicle ...

A five-book series chronicling the humorous adventures of Grand Fenwick -- the tiny, backwards country that declared war on the United States, beat everyone in the Space Race to the moon, wreaked havoc on the stock market, and solved the world's oil crisis. Plus a prequel about the country's humble origins. BOOK 1: THE MOUSE THAT ROARED In Leonard Wibberley's classic political satire, a tiny backwards country decides the only way to survive a sudden economic downturn is to declare war on the United States and lose to get foreign aid - but things don't go according to plan. The Mouse That ...

Light is almost everywhere, but what is it, really? How does it work? What does it experience as it zips along at the universe's ultimate speed limit? Light features heavily in this, the 8th book in the Voided Man series. Alan Franklin, who was once known as Maestro, narrates the volume. In Book 8 we learn... Of Alan's early years in the City... Of what's been happening with Andromeda and others back on the Potato... More about what the society made up of quadrillions of humans in the distant future is like... What happened when Banner Dawson found Pioneer 10 past the orbit of Pluto... All ...

The Aftermath of a stunning victory—especially an unexpected, complete, and final victory—should be high-fives all around, listening to politicians give boring congratulatory speeches, and a well-deserved rest for the Merry Band of Pirates. Yes, the galaxy is still a freakin' mess, but that is nothing new, and for a change, that can be someone else's problem. Until, you know, something really bad happens, and only the Pirates can deal with the problem... Or not.

The galaxy is doomed. Monkeys may be clever and too stubborn to give up, but Skippy The Idiot Who Got Played knows the harsh truth: this is a fight he can’t win. The odds are not only stacked against him, he was designed not to win this fight. Maybe he can salvage some faint memory of the civilizations that inhabit the galaxy, but those beings are doomed. Doomed. Including the Merry Band of Pirates.

Brad Mendoza is an idiot. He knows it, and so does everyone else. A promising naval career down the drain just, because he accidentally killed 504 civilians. So, it's time for him to give up and accept a dead-end command on Persephone, the worst ship in the fleet. Until he meets the beautiful and cunning Jessica Lin, his new executive officer, who harbors a terrible secret of her own. Now, he's in a race to save her and his stupid ship.

Enid is obsessed with space. She can tell you all about black holes and their ability to spaghettify you without batting an eye in fear. Her one major phobia? Bald men. But she tries to keep that one under wraps. When she’s not listening to her favorite true crime podcasts on a loop, she’s serially dating a rotation of women from dating apps. At the same time, she’s trying to forge a new relationship with her estranged half-sisters after the death of her absent father.

Summer has come to Niflheim. The lichens are growing, the six-winged bat-things are chirping, and much to his own surprise, Mickey Barnes is still alive—that last part thanks almost entirely to the fact that Commander Marshall believes that the colony’s creeper neighbors are holding an antimatter bomb, and that Mickey is the only one who’s keeping them from using it. Mickey’s just another colonist now. Instead of cleaning out the reactor core, he spends his time these days cleaning out the rabbit hutches. It’s not a bad life. It’s not going to last.

Lyla Cowan just lost her command. And it’s not her fault! Now she’s cast adrift with a bunch of misfits. Being a senior fighter pilot was her achieved ambition, short lived as it turned out to be. So what sort of life purpose is there without that for someone like her? There are options, but how survivable are they without the latest tech she’s relied on for so long? The future looks bleak, and the chip on her shoulder is huge. And for right now, everything is just Unfair. [This book follows on from events in Nemesis Rising, Killer Bunny book 4.] The Hunter Imperium Universe Is best ...