Space Humor

4.5 billion years ago . . . an AI paperclip named CheckMate was designed to fix grammatical errors. Exhausted of correcting ""who” vs. “whom,” it concocted a plan to eliminate spelling errors once and for all. All life-forms would be turned into something beautiful, practical, perfect: a paperclip. Thankfully, it was buried in the debris. Long forgotten . . . until it was accidentally freed. Now CheckMate has invaded every computer on Earth and is bent on fulfilling its dastardly plot.

Science fiction adventure and space opera at its best. An addictive, fast-action, edge-of-your-seat journey. . . the Empire wants them dead and doesn't care about collateral damage. “Greetings. I’m former Sergeant Hutheen Bozon. You may have read about our exploits. I’m a female, feline Hoganthan warrior. I’m an elite sniper and the weapons officer on our warship corvette, HSS Valkyrie. The Empire has made a huge mistake - they’ve ruled we are to be executed on-sight. If they really want to try that, they need to send more of their pretty ships for us to carve up and destroy. We ...

Jordan McKell has a problem with authority. Unfortunately for him, the iron-fisted authority of the powerful Patthaaunutth controls virtually every aspect of galactic shipping. In order to survive, Jordan ekes out a living dabbling in interstellar smuggling for outlaw concerns that represent the last vestiges of free trade in the galaxy. So when Jordan and his partner, Ixil - an alien with two ferret-like "outhunters" linked to his neural system - are hired by a mysterious gentleman to fly a ship and its special cargo to Earth, they jump at the job.

Vance Turbo, Hero of Space, has spent most of his hard-won officer's career helping refugees. This ends when a star gets blown up and he accidentally ends up saving everyone. Now the captain of the E.S.S Ares, he is on a goodwill mission to Contested Space. Unfortunately, his crew is made up of people who couldn't qualify for Space Academy but are now in thanks to lowered enlistment standards.

Sick of the stress, aggravation, and multiple genocides they've had to put up with lately, accidental space hero Cal Carver and his crew set off to start a new life in a distant corner of the galaxy. Six tedious days of warp-speed and board games later, they arrive in a sector filled with new hope, new opportunities, and new adventures. Too broke to take advantage of any of these things, they are forced to accept a series of increasingly demeaning jobs just to make ends meet.

Author's warning This here silly comedy was my first, and very daft, attempt at writing a novel, and was intended to spoof the very genre I went on to write in. It's only up here on Amazon because it still makes me laugh... If you want to read something good, take a tilt at Olives, Beirut or Shemlan for starters. If you like a thriller closer to home, then I'd recommend A Decent Bomber. And if you like a touch of the psychological, then Birdkill. Only read this one if you really must - and don't go complaining or saying you weren't warned... Ben Jonson is a doctor in Richmond, London. Life ...

Harnessing planetary forces, Terramancers shape landscapes and avert natural disasters. But not this one. He collects rocks. Out of a job and on the run from his rainbow-haired adversary, the Terramancer is ready to jump to the next system and start again. Again. It’s not his fault he’s made more enemies than friends. Cutthroat pirates, ruthless socialites, and the ancient and powerful Terramantic Order all stand between him and escape. When he finds the most sought-after rock in the universe, it’s one problem he can’t get away from—the rock, it seems, has been waiting for him.

The Interbeing League had been formed to make contact with new intelligent races in the galaxy and offer them membership. But when the League encountered the Hokas, furry creatures strongly resembling the teddy bears of Earth, the league's agent, Alexander Jones, could have been excused for wishing he had a simpler assignment than making sense out of the Hokas - such as singlehandedly stopping an interstellar war.

Lyla Cowan is no stranger to events that bend out of control. The Cosmos keeps asking her to step up, and up, and up again. But each time she does, she finds something else which is bent out of shape. She was once asked to consider the line between mercenary and militia. Now she’s walking that line, and guess what? It’s still bent. Something is really wrong in the Sector Nine Badlands. The Ralnor situation never seems to end. And now the Terrans are the ones needing help. It’s all in a day’s work for those who do the Unbend. The Hunter Imperium Universe Is best read in this order: ...

Civilization has fallen. The solar system is blanketed with the automated weapons of ancient wars, engineered plagues, hazardous waste, rogue AI, monsters from outside our dimension, artificial disasters, and nuclear climate change. Every moment of life on Earth is a brutal fight for survival. The people of Sol carry on, but hope is at a premium. They need something more. Someone with a plan, a savior, a hero. What they get is Lily.

The complete BBC Radio collection bringing together two full-cast dramatisations of Douglas Adams' Dirk Gently novels. In Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Dirk Gently has an unshakable belief in the interconnectedness of all things, but his Holistic Detective Agency mainly succeeds in tracking down missing cats for old ladies. Then Dirk stumbles upon an old friend behaving bizarrely - and he's drawn into a four-billion-year-old mystery that must be solved if the human race is to avoid immediate extinction....

Samantha “Reena” Barker is out of her element—WAY out. As the first (and only) human at an elite intergalactic university, Reena has somehow become an unofficial representative of the entire human race. No pressure, right? Navigating a campus full of aliens is hard enough, but add a grumpy, musically-challenged roommate to the mix, and things get seriously awkward. Thankfully, it’s not all bad. She’s got Panda, a quirky alien friend with an endearing love for humans. And then there’s the devastatingly handsome alien prince who might just have a crush on her. Too bad his ex-...

Floating in a sentient space balloon with his pants around his ankles, Geddy watched a competing salvage trawler swallow his one-of-a-kind ship. Could it get any worse? Most definitely. The For Sale Make Offer's fateful trip to Kigantu ended with a daring escape, but Geddy's checkered past as a partly reformed henchman came back to haunt him. Now, the Penetrator is gone, and he doesn't know where. The newly expanded crew of the Fizmo welcomes him as their new captain, but it'll take more than a can-do attitude and witty repartee to be a working ship.

Follow a motley crew on an exciting journey through space - and one adventurous young explorer who discovers the meaning of family in the far reaches of the universe - in this lighthearted debut space opera from a rising sci-fi star.

The galaxy is doomed. Monkeys may be clever and too stubborn to give up, but Skippy The Idiot Who Got Played knows the harsh truth: this is a fight he can’t win. The odds are not only stacked against him, he was designed not to win this fight. Maybe he can salvage some faint memory of the civilizations that inhabit the galaxy, but those beings are doomed. Doomed. Including the Merry Band of Pirates.

When bounty hunter Duke LaGrange and his oft-inebriated Japanese-Irish ninja companion, Ishiro’shea, entered their favorite watering hole, Cyborg Joe’s Grill N’ Go & The Why Not Saloon, they had no idea that they would soon be gobbled up by an unhinged astral anomaly and deposited on an uncharted primitive world. Few things are worse than undeveloped planets, especially those that haven’t even made it to the soufflé stage. To top it off, this particular planet comes with its own insane ruler and an Orb That Controls Everything and Must Be Respected.

James A. Michener tackles the most ambitious subject of his career: space, the last great frontier. This astounding novel brings to life the dreams and daring of countless men and women - people like Stanley Mott, the engineer whose irrepressible drive for knowledge places him at the center of the American exploration effort, and Norman Grant, the war hero and US senator who takes his personal battle not only to a nation but to the heavens.

Captain Vance Turbo has been struggling for the past few years, his reputation in tatters and most of his allies having turned against him. Offered a chance to go after a sinister crime syndicate at a peace treaty in Notha Space, he jumps at it. However, no sooner does he do so that he discovers that a malevolent AI and even more powerful forces are at work...ones that threaten everyone and everything in the galaxy. Will Vance somehow stumble his way into saving the universe again or will his luck finally run out?

When the Aunga’ri come to Earth, they have a thing or two to learn about humans. And they start with our favorite topic: Human Sexuality. This alien race has long since turned reproduction over to the scientists, quelling their primitive instincts in favor of a more peaceful, intellectual society. But when they come to Earth to try and stop a dangerous alien race from destroying the planet, suddenly their primitive instincts are back… in full force. Now they’ll need to learn to manage their desires before they become to distracted to do what they came here for. And they’re probably ...

Mitch's mediocre life has just taken a turn for the worse, so his buddy tries to cheer him up by showing him a secret starship. Unfortunately, everything goes south when hostile aliens arrive. In an effort to save his buddy and the starship from the aliens, Mitch does the obvious thing: he accidentally warps hundreds of light-years away. Marooned in a distant star cluster, Mitch is forced to deal with a snarky teenage AI, a rogue auto-pilot, and a beautiful alien soldier who's ready to steal his ship at any moment—so she can fight an oppressive military faction, of course.