Space Humor

Welcome to the Grand Abeona Hotel: home of the finest food, the sweetest service, and the very best views the galaxy has to offer. Year round it moves from planet to planet, system to system, pampering guests across the furthest reaches of the milky way. The last word in sub-orbital luxury - and a magnet for intrigue. Intrigues such as: Why are there love poems in the lobby intray? How many Imperial spies are currently on board? What is the true purpose of the Problem Solver's conference? And perhaps most pertinently - who is driving the ship?

Which of the following short stories would you read first? A.) A stubborn donkey challenges a Tennessee race horse. B.) A chess match ends in bloodshed. C.) Two sisters beg a funeral director to play their daddy's favorite Johnny Cash song. D.) A shooter takes aim from a church baptistry. E.) Two astronauts survive a horrific spinout only to return to earth and find everybody else walking around in super slow motion. Why not read them all? They're all in this far-flung collection of short stories and more. Scroll up and get them now with just one click.

On the other side of the galaxy, the Cayl Empire has decided to wind down operations and the Stryx are planning to pick up the pieces. Kelly is tapped to host an open house event on Union Station to tempt the aliens into joining up, but does anybody other than the Stryx actually want the merger to take place?

A squad of space marines, Sarge and the Boys, are ordered to assist a more prestigious squad on a planetary assault. They all are KIA on paper. Is there such a thing in 3013? (KIA or paper?) The narrator, Bucky, has to come to the rescue, but his only avenue is through the galactic matrix inter-tubes. His story is augmented by a second narrator who offers his own opinion of the action. Try the free teaser. If you find the banter confusing, you may want to skip this format of entertainment. (I wouldn't want to rip you off for a buck.) This story is an action farce, an absurdist play with ...

A collection of short story alien erotica featuring the Zeylan species. Come explore the future of arranged marriages with aliens. Humans are compatible with three species, but these girls all chose the Zeylans through the Intergalactic Marriage Council. Each woman has a different reason for wanting to get married, and the Zeylanian home world has unique advantages that make the men an attractive choice. These guys might not be as "alien" as some other species, but the guys know how to please a woman. Bundle includes: Alien Impulses: Mating Luke Alien Impulses: Mating Jared Alien Impulses: ...

There has never been a mage this powerful before. And yet, what use is power when bad things happen while you sleep? For most people, the question is: "How do I go on?" For Bud, the question is: "How do I fix this?" The problem is determining why it broke, so it won't happen again. But fixing things is easy. It's the consequences of your choices which are difficult. And what of the other things which need fixing? Once you start fixing things, where does it end? He's worked for Kali, Ganesha, and Shiva, across two galaxies. Now, he's Destiny's Spacemage.

Evangelist Brock T. Hanson believes Colin Douglass to be the prophet he’s been waiting for his whole life, the man who will lead the faithful back to Earth and trigger the most momentous event since Creation itself. But there’s a problem. Actually, there are several. First, Colin Douglass himself doesn’t believe a word of it and is the kind of chap who’d rather stay at home with a nice cup of tea than cross the galaxy on some foolish, idealistic crusade.

Jane Kamali is an agent for the Justified. Her mission: to recruit children with miraculous gifts in the hope that they might prevent the Pulse from once again sending countless worlds back to the dark ages. Hot on her trail is the Pax - a collection of fascist zealots who believe they are the rightful rulers of the galaxy and who remain untouched by the Pulse. Now Jane, a handful of comrades from her past, and a telekinetic girl called Esa must fight their way through a galaxy full of dangerous conflicts, remnants of ancient technology, and other hidden dangers.

The stories you’ve dreamed of; the people you crave to meet; or would love to be. The aliens who’d make you shiver, or laugh. The huge risks of guiding your spacecraft here, or there. The adventures you’d have if only you had the nerve… Or the utter romance of doing that… The humour of orbital disasters and alien conflicts; the perils of ill-advised time-interference; the sheer romance of null-gravity love; the terrors of a leaky hull; the fear of a bullying boss when you’re a thousand light years beyond.; the choices you face in the big, black Vac. Mostly a laugh or a satisfied...

That which is not dead will not rest nor lie. And with the strange passing of aeons, the petty affairs of men are of little consequence to the Old Ones, providing they have their fair share of sacrificial souls on which to feed. Blaise is a lowly policeman, tasked with patrolling a huge rural beat where everything appears, on the surface at least, idyllic. That’s until he’s seen the carcasses of the dogs, found in the woods, mutilated and drained of blood. And now humans are disappearing too and there’s talk of witchcraft, a folklore, long-thought dead with the execution of the last ...

Short Sci-Fi stories from the Lighter Side of yesterday and all your tomorrows; alternative todays; and all those maybe times in between. From orbits and vectors the other side of the spiral arm, to the smoking field at the back of the Yew Tree pub. From Boudicca's helping hand, to the secret behind Toothsavers; Why did the mountain have to move to Mohr? Have the Potens got this Planetary Takeover quite right? It's Absolutely Disgusting, isn't it? the way these immigrants seem to hate everyone on the planet? You only Have One Vote - How important can that be? You turn your back for five ...

The day starts like any other, venturing into spider-bear territory to rescue Bennie’s sister. Turns out there’s a lot of space that the Peacekeepers don’t go near - go figure, spider-bear territory is on that list. And that’s just the start of their adventure. Their old friend Xarrix calls with a job. A job that sounds straightforward and easy. With nothing else on their plates, the crew of the Ghost find themselves in a sector of space deemed “untameable” by the Galactic Commonwealth, working with a warlord with some pretty big plans.

Meet Moon! She's more than just a rock - she’s Earth’s rock, her best friend she can always count on. Moon never turns her back on her friend (Literally: She's always facing Earth with the same side!). These two will stick together forever. With characteristic humor and charm, Stacy McAnulty channels the voice of Moon in this next celestial "autobiography" in the Our Universe series.

Nicola Berry's life is turned upside down the day a man from another planet comes to Earth on a strange mission. He's looking for somebody to travel back to his home planet and convince their stuck-up princess not to turn Earth into her planet's giant garbage dump. When Nicola is chosen as the Earthling Ambassador, she's not sure that she's up to the task. Can Nicola and her friends save the planet in time? Or will the nasty Princess Petronella cover Earth in a galactic ton of garbage?

A humorous story of the migration of our early ancestors...Homo erectus and Homo sapiens Did they know where they were going? Did they know how to get there? Did they know the risks of their journey? WHY?”

What are we? Where did we come from? Where are we going? Who’s in charge? WHY?

WHY, after almost five million years, did our early ancestors suddenly believe they had to alter their very beings and their way of life to achieve the spoken word…something they’d never heard, had no knowledge of and had no reason to believe they needed?

Have you ever wondered what is lurking on the inside of the mirror that you look into each morning? Is it simply your reflection? Or is someone or something looking back at you? When Sean Ekans, buys an antique mirror at an estate sale, he finds the word ‘ZAX” inscribed on the back. Little does Sean know that this is no ordinary mirror. Sean is about to embark on the adventure of his life. Barwell Hollings presents Portal to ZAX.

Are you 28 weeks pregnant and wondering if your brain packed its bags and left without saying goodbye? Welcome to the third trimester—where sleep is a myth, gravity is your enemy, and restrooms have become sacred ground. In The Chronicles of the Third Trimester, Nati delivers a laugh-out-loud, painfully relatable, and lovingly honest guide through the final stretch of pregnancy. From emotional outbursts over tacos to fighting with your socks, this book doesn’t just tell it like it is—it makes you feel like you’ve got a hilarious best friend holding your hand (between bathroom runs, ...

What's in your genes? Baker doesn't know...but he's about to find out! Baker Holden is just trying to get things together. Things have been getting a little strange. Unbeknownst to him, he's been visited by aliens and been indoctrinated into their breeding program. Their goal; the offspring that will carry his rare genetic make-up. Join Baker's adventures in this final chapter where he faces the wrath of his gorgeous ex-wife, Eva! Is he prepared for what the aliens' manipulative breeding plan will do to the hearts and minds of all the fertile, unprotected ladies in his life? Find out in ...