Retirement Humor

I think there's a certain beauty particularly to women as they age. I don't have a problem looking older (Sandy Age 68). My advice to women as they age is to eat right, don't drink too much alcohol, find girlfriends to hang out with, get a dog if you can, exercise, keep away from the make-up counters and oh yes, be present. Life is short (Shelly Age 72). I think women are getting to a good point in the world and [equality] is not too far away. When I was born women weren't allowed to vote. I still vote and know I can make things happen by voting (Fannie Age 100). Have you ever walked by a ...

A cosy mystery perfect for fans of Sally Smith, Steve Higgs, LJ Ross, Robert Thorogood, and Richard Osman. The celebrations for The National Day of Spain are the biggest event in the calendar for the Club Britannia complex on Spain’s Costa del Sol. As part of the organising committee, Karen McLaren has been overseeing the evening’s food, drink, music, and dancing. She has big plans… …finding herself making inquiries about a murdered partygoer isn’t one of them. Neither Karen nor the local police can understand how the death has happened. Though everything they see suggests it’s ...

THE HOUSE THAT JACK BOUGHT is a light-hearted, informative account of a Scotsman’s relocation to the Spanish hinterland. When Jack Waldie and his wife Nicola buy a house in rural Spain they intend to start a new life there, away from the hustle and bustle of Glasgow, but when things go awry between them Jack chooses to keep the spacious old place and moves there to write his crime novels in peace. In the small village in an area known as Spanish Lapland, due to its ever decreasing population, Jack befriends key local people who refuse to allow their birthplace to die. When he’s ...

*All three books in the series are now available in an omnibus edition under the title THREE MEN IN SPAIN* IT’S NOT ABOUT THE VAN is Harry Storrar’s account of a year spent making multiple trips around Spain with his Belgian wife Laura in their curious camper van, Bambi. After his friend Jeremy described Bambi’s initial north to south journey in THREE MEN IN A VAN, and Geoff followed it up with the extremely imaginative story of his solo adventures in ONE MAN IN A VAN, Laura thought it only right that Harry should complete the cycle by writing a book of his own, with her inestimable ...

STEADY ON, GEORGE! is the stirring and humorous account of the adventures of two mature men in Spain. Five months after his friend George becomes a widower, 76-year-old Mel Taylor finally gets his new knee into gear and flies out to visit him in Denia. Intending to stay for a couple of weeks, George soon whisks him off on a trip whose consequences threaten to turn his quiet life by the English seaside upside down. Despite the misgivings of his protective daughter Beth, Mel soon finds George’s desire for change and renewal so contagious that previously unthinkable ideas begin to seem quite...

CLIVE AND KEN, REMOVAL MEN is a humorous and touching tale about two friends who are reunited in Spain after over thirty years apart. Ken Bradshaw and Clive Ogden, alias Oglethorpe, were two teenagers in Ramsbottom when Clive was whisked off to prison, wrongly accused of pinching old Mrs Sutcliffe’s jewellery. Thirty-odd years later, Clive, now an art and antiques dealer, feels a burning desire to give his old mate a call, not least because he believes Ken to be the owner of a flourishing van rental business. Clive invites his long-lost pal to fly over to visit him in Spain, a meeting ...

When a writer, down on his luck, takes an assignment as a reporter for a small-town newspaper he figures life couldn't get much worse or mundane, being that the town in which he is to reside is on one of those fabled roads that are seldom crossed...even by folks that are lost. But the town of Gabyvale is about to get interesting. Interesting enough to write home about.

STAYING PUT is an account of one Englishman’s battle to secure his future in Spain. Jack Birtwell, a sprightly sixty-year-old from Accrington, Lancashire, is due to retire in 2019 and hopes that his poor pension prospects won’t force him to sell his beloved house in Spain and return to England to live out his days. When Brian, his friend and employer, is forced to lay him off from his part-time building job his dilemma becomes even more acute. After racking his brains and those of his closest friends for money-making ideas, he thinks he has come up with a solution. It will put paid to ...

ESCAPE TO EXTREMADURA is the candid, entertaining account of a middle-aged Lancastrian’s move to a small town in one of the least populated areas of Spain. After fate brings Brian and Mónica together in a café in Clitheroe, love blossoms and they begin to make plans for the future. His hasty retirement from a long career at a Lancaster furniture company precedes their flight to Llerena, Mónica’s home town, where her pious mother and unruly father await them expectantly. Don Andrés, the ailing patriarch of their ever-expanding family, welcomes the Englishman with open arms, while ...

AMAZED BY SPAIN is a light-hearted account of two couples’ unexpected relocation to inland Alicante. Before sisters Sue and Linda inherit a village house in the hills they have little interest in Spain, but on travelling out to see their new possession they begin to warm to the idea of spending time there with their husbands Paul and Bill. After an enjoyable summer holiday the prospect of living in the village becomes irresistible and this book describes their transition from visitors to residents and the diverse selection of people they meet along the way. This amusing and informative ...

SPIKE IN SPAIN is the light-hearted story of a peculiar Lancastrian’s relocation to a small town at the foot of the Alicante mountains. An obsessive cyclist and the bane of his long-suffering wife’s life, Spike finds himself booted out of the family home and consigned to a grotty terraced house in Colne. Believing, incorrectly, that an old clubmate has invited him to stay at his Spanish retreat, a spell of lateral thinking by the cycling club president, Pete, leads to Spike’s flight to his old pal Mike’s house instead. As the charitable Mike has already rescued three donkeys and a ...

When Janet and Colin Paddison move into their dream home in the countryside inland from Valencia they hope to enjoy a tranquil retirement, especially Colin, an ex-librarian whose desire for peace and quiet has been a lifelong obsession. A boarded-up bar in a nearby hamlet has been closed for years, but when Miguelito the builder sets about restoring the place Colin begins to fear the worst. SEEKING SERENITY IN SPAIN is Janet’s humorous and somewhat fanciful account of her husband’s tireless campaign to hinder the new owners’ efforts to shatter their rural idyll. Colin begins by ...

AN INNOCENT IN SPAIN is the light-hearted account of an unlikely expat’s first months in his new country. Ian Smith might not be the first tubby, middle-aged Englishman to arrive in a small Spanish town, but he’s certainly one of the poorest and most naive. Luckily for him, long-time resident Graham Baker is on hand to help him settle in and somehow survive on his meagre savings. After an initial, potentially calamitous blunder Ian appears to rally, but it’s only a matter of time before he finds himself in dire straits once again. Will he have to return to Lancashire, more penniless ...

George Hall is an unobtrusive man. A little distant, perhaps, a little cautious, not quite at ease with the emotional demands of fatherhood or of manly bonhomie. “The secret of contentment, George felt, lay in ignoring many things completely.” Some things in life can’t be ignored, however: his tempestuous daughter Katie’s deeply inappropriate boyfriend Ray, for instance, or the sudden appearance of a red circular rash on his hip.

Penny Rush has problems. Freshly divorced from her mobile knife-sharpener husband, she has returned home to Santa Barbara to deal with her grandfather, who is being moved into a retirement home by his cruel second wife. Her grandmother, meanwhile, has been found in possession of a sinister sounding weapon called ‘the scintilltor’ and something even worse in her woodshed. Penny’s parents have been missing in the Australian outback for many years now, and so Penny must deal with this spiralling family crisis alone. Enter The Dog of the North.

LIVING NEXT DOOR TO ALEC is a light-hearted account of the growing friendship between two neighbours in Lancashire. When fifty-something accountant Adrian Lane moves into an end cottage on the outskirts of Burnley, he’s hoping to live quietly and continue to rebuild his life after separating from his wife. He didn’t bargain for a neighbour like Alec, a widower and retired plumber whose behaviour is decidedly odd. After a rather disturbing initial meeting they gradually become friends and Adrian finds himself being drawn way out of his comfort zone by the older man, whose philosophy is ...

The Sound of Sirens is a humorous tale told by the primary character Mike Chandler a recently retired business executive, who after a long stressful career found peace and solace playing on his computer and/or watching television. His wife Helen feels isolated in their large suburban home where her social life has all but disappeared as a result of their life long friends relocating to various retirement communities around the country. Mike is dead set against such a move, viewing it as a giant step closer to the grave. Mike and Helen struggle to come to a mutually agreeable solution ...

Laying out the nine common hazards that trip up otherwise well-prepared retirees to encourage you to think through your decisions and set a course aligned with your values and your ultimate goals, Retirement Fail helps you identify potential pitfalls and teaches how to safeguard your hard-earned retirement assets. Contrary to what most people think, it is not poor portfolio performance that usually busts your retirement accounts. Rather, it's the emotional decisions you make that can cause major problems.

A cosy mystery perfect for fans of Sally Smith, Steve Higgs, LJ Ross, Robert Thorogood, and Richard Osman. Karen McLaren has organised what she believes will be the perfect Yuletide celebration: a murder mystery evening based on Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. It’s being held at Club Britannia; attendees are attired in period costume, and traditional food is on the menu. Everything has been planned to perfection… …one of the guests dying, however, isn’t something that’s been scheduled. A fictional murder mystery transforming into a real murder investigation throws Castillo ...

George Hall doesn't understand the modern obsession with talking about everything. 'The secret of contentment, George felt, lay in ignoring many things completely.' Some things in life, however, cannot be ignored. At 57, George is settling down to a comfortable retirement, building a shed in his garden, reading historical novels, listening to a bit of light jazz.