Poetry Humor

One minute, the narrator of this cleverly rhyming romp is quietly reading. The next minute, pigs descend upon his house in every imaginable getup, by every available means, from every possible place - even “pigs from France” and “pigs just in their underpants”. What results is lovable porcine mayhem and a pizza pig-out!

OMG! What have I done?! A young conservative wife does something she never dreamed she'd do in a million years: She sleeps with her husband's best friend! A hot soldier teaches her a few new tricks . . . But it goes way beyond that . . . When her husband's best friend stays over while her husband is away ... Kim cannot believe what happens next! Apprx. 12,000 words Previously published in two volumes as Stretched By My Husband's Best Friend. Includes: vaginal / oral / backdoor / fisiting

A woman expects her boyfriend to pop the question at dinner, only it’s not the question she expected. A girl finds a game board with frightening results. A young woman must fight off an attacker who has a surprising motive for his crime. The painting of a mother's dead son haunts her. A young wife wants to surprise her husband but it doesn’t turn out as she hoped. Or does it? This book of stories, poems, and other writings by the author of the Twigs series and the Detective Tony Pantera series will delight and frighten as well as make the reader ponder life's way of throwing us a curve ...

The Gruffalo said that no gruffalo should ever set foot in the deep dark wood. But one wild and windy night the Gruffalo's child disobeys her father's warnings and ventures out into the snow. After all, the Big Bad Mouse doesn't really exist...does he? Perfect for listening to at home, in the car, at bedtime - or any time at all!

📘 Line Drives & Life Lessons A Serious, Sarcastic & Sage: A Collection of Fast-Pitch Softball Poetry Welcome to the dugout—the real one. The one with sunflower seeds, scuffed cleats, and a coach who tells it like it is. Line Drives & Life Lessons is a bold, funny, and fiercely honest collection of poems for fast-pitch softball players who hustle hard, cheer louder, and know that greatness lives somewhere between the chalk lines and the dirt stains. Narrated by the unforgettable Coach Shelly—a sarcastic, 60-year-old softball lifer with a heart of gold and zero patience for joggers—...

Nothing but flowers ******************* Late, late at night, when I just couldn’t sleep I heard a noise outside, it sounded like a beep A flying saucer landed, and no, it was no joke: A little man emerged, who looked at me and spoke

From award winning author, Robert E. Kearns (Hy Brasil: Island of Eternity, Crabb, Carnivore, Freedom is For the Few, Ossuary, Embers and A Donnybrook Affair, comes an unforgettable collection of Humorous Poems, Entertaining Short Stories and Hilarious Sketches. In this wonderful edition, Kearns makes fun of both the clichéd and the mundane of everyday life through the medium of poems he refers to as gibberish. Then, using his sketches to great effect, he again delves into the regular occurrences of humanity with writing that will elicit more than the single laugh. To finish, Kearns ...

Hace mucho, mucho tiempo, en un lugar muy muy lejano Un gran barco pirata salió a navegar un día temprano, Llevaba sacos de plata y oro que valían mucho dinero, Y tres piratas malvados, fuertes y de carácter aventurero.

This follow-up to The Bippolo Seed and Other Lost Stories features familiar Seussian faces and places - including Horton the Elephant, Marco, Mulberry Street, and a Grinch - as well as an introduction by renowned Seuss scholar Charles D. Cohen. Seuss fans will learn more about Horton’s integrity, Marco’s amazing imagination, a narrowly avoided disaster on Mullbery Street, and a devious Grinch.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are! Sing along with Pete the Cat on his groovy adaptation of the classic children's bedtime song "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star".

OMG! Now it’s my turn… I’d heard about it, but I never believed it could be true… sorority house triple dare! Even before I took the blindfold off, I knew something was up. I can’t believe who my sorority sisters want me to mud wrestle… but I admit I’m thrilled that I have to taken on the football team all-stars… five big rough young hunks at once! Just my luck I’d drawn the scarlet card… or was it? These young sorority ladies are at it again… and this time their target is freshman coed Lexi Leighton! Lexi is the newest competitor chosen by a draw in her sorority house...

The witch and her cat fly happily over forests, rivers and mountains on their broomstick until a stormy wind blows away the witch's hat, bow and wand. Luckily, they are retrieved by a dog, a bird and a frog, who are all keen for a ride on the broom. It's a case of the more, the merrier, but the broomstick isn't used to such a heavy load and it's not long before...snap! It breaks in two! And with a greedy dragon looking for a snack, the witch's animal pals better think fast.

Michael Heide beschreibt mit "schönster Tag" eine besondere Begegnung an der S-Bahn im Haubtbahnhof, der er liebevoll den schönsten Tag des Lebens wünscht. Allerdings mit nicht unerheblichen Folgen.
Florian Hoffmann erzählt in seinem Text "Fruchtfliegen" mit überzeugendem Einsatz seiner Stimme, wie man die lästigen Obstbegleiter schnell loswerden kann.
Andrej Schindhelm gibt mit seinem Text "Warmluftfront" eine wunderbare Performance, die nicht nur heiße Luft verbreitet.
Jacinta Nandi lebt seit zehn Jahren in Deutschland. Sie macht herrliche Beobachtungen über die Merkwürdigkeiten der Deutschen, die sie in Ihrem Text "Beginners Guide to Deutsche Hobbys" zusammen gefasst hat.
Regina Mengel hat sich einmal intensiv Gedanken über Gedanken gemacht und kommt dabei zu einem überraschendem Schluss.
Andrea Meyer lässt Schauder über den Rücken jagen. Ihr Text spricht Bände: "Ich liebe dich zu Tode".
Luisa Joyce hat es geschafft, mit "Verlorengegangen" eine berührende Meldung zu schreiben, die zeigt, das auch kurze Texte sehr stark sein können.

This volume brings together the poems from my books with 18 new works. 4 poetic voices are used: Big Zee, a right-on Rasta from Salford; Missy Pammy, a fearless feminist from the West Country; Meaty, the UK’s number 1 butcher-poet, and the cerebral, sceptical Morose. The collection includes an Icelandic version of “Jerusalem”, a new Brexit anthem “Brexodus”, a Muslim lady’s lament in the style of Amy Winehouse, updates of W.H. Auden and Philip Larkin, some Hong Kong City Blues and a Gothic/manic homage to Sylvia Plath. The poems attempt to open minds through the power of words. ...

Hungry Holidays from that famished old lady! Listen to what happens as she swallows a host of Christmas items with hilarious results. The rhyming text and funny illustrations are sure to appeal to young readers.

When Crab finds a new shell, he doesn’t want to share it with anyone - especially not a blobby purple anemone and a tickly bristleworm. But life in the rock pool proves tougher than Crab thinks and he soon finds he needs his new housemates. Sharing a Shell is a charming underwater tale of friendship and fun from the stellar picture book partnership of Julia Donaldson and Lydia Monks, creators of What the Ladybird Heard. With brilliant rhythmic verse, charmingly read by Julian Clary, this is a firm favourite with children and parents alike.

The Original Book of 21st Century LIMERICKS By Benjamin Maor A collection of Limericks for the 21st Century. On Iconic Events, Movies, TV Shows, Sitcoms, Social Media, modern society and people. LIMERICKS TITLES Will Smith Vladimir Putin Volodymyr Zelenskyy Donald Trump Boris Johnson Tiger Woods Bruno Mars Ed Sheehan Bob Dylan Del Boy Billy Connoly World Trade Center George W Bush Pablo Escobar Walter White Bill Clinton Bob Geldof Financial Crisis Kim Jung Un Quentin Tarantino Angelina Jolie Britney Spears Rebel Wilson Graham Norton James Corden Barrack Obama Osama Bin Laden Usain Bolt ...

Charlie Cook is reading a book about a pirate captain, who is reading a book about Goldilocks, who is reading about a knight, who is reading about a frog.... From kings and queens to aliens and ghosts, there's something for everyone in Charlie's amazing book of adventure! Perfect for listening to at home, in the car, at bedtime - or any time at all!

Spontaneous bebop (sans Rocksteady) banter, of the non-combustible kind, collected via e-mail & text communications & assembled like a tossed salad prosaic, then wrapped in a warm blanket of jocular exchange, with a smattering of inanity, a dash or two of incoherence, & maybe just a hint of maniacal genius, chronicling the inner workings of the twin brainship (TB-8).

We all hate poetry, right? But we might hate it a little less if it were hellgrown, twisted and wicked. Epic, even. If this book were a pie, it would contain more than a measly four and twenty blackbirds, But it's not a pie, it's a spasm. Which is another word for pie, in a language you don't know. In fact it's even more than a spasm. It's a devil's banquet of adults-only offal comprising nine and forty (49) satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes, Excerpts below: AWAREWOLF I came upon a golem “encountered” one might say eating dust as golems must all bloody, muddy day. WHO ...