Poetry Humor

Punk. Poet. Pioneer. The Bard of Salford’s hugely anticipated new collection of poetry is his first in over 30 years. These are poems as scabrous, wry and vivid as only John Cooper Clarke could deliver. Inimitable and iconic, this collection will be a complete joy for lifelong fans and a whole new generation.

“Ese cepillo de dientes que tienes en la mano, De verdad que para mí es un villano. Demasiada pasta de dientes, un dulce necesito, Aliméntame por favor, al menos solo un poquito. Tu cepillo no me deja alcanzar lo que quiero, Deseo escarbar y taladrar un agujero, Sé que te dolería, pero no me importa, ¡Por favor, detente ya; mi ser ya no soporta!”

José era un granjero feliz y Pedro era su vecino, Sembraban pepinos y tomates en la montaña de encino. Ambos granjeros trabajaban muy duro; difícil era su vida, Pero tenían comida para sus familias; recompensa merecida Aunque a veces en casa después de un día de trabajo cansado Soñaban con tener una vida mejor de lo que habían pensado.

La Abuela Marta ******************* Una mañana soleada; con el cielo iluminado, El gato negro y el blanco afuera habían caminado; Para calentarse en el sol; toda esa tarde aprovechaban, Y los últimos días calurosos de junio así disfrutaban.

The Gruffalo said that no gruffalo should ever set foot in the deep dark wood. But one wild and windy night the Gruffalo's child disobeys her father's warnings and ventures out into the snow. After all, the Big Bad Mouse doesn't really exist...does he? Perfect for listening to at home, in the car, at bedtime - or any time at all!

You won't believe why this old lady swallows a shell, a crab, a fish, a gull, a pail, some sand, and a wave! But watch out when she burps, with hilarious results!

With rollicking, rhyming text, this lively version of a classic song will appeal to young readers. And there's a surprise ending!

Spontaneous bebop (sans Rocksteady) banter, of the non-combustible kind, collected via e-mail & text communications & assembled like a tossed salad prosaic, then wrapped in a warm blanket of jocular exchange, with a smattering of inanity, a dash or two of incoherence, & maybe just a hint of maniacal genius, chronicling the inner workings of the twin brainship (TB-8).

We all hate poetry, right? But we might hate it a little less if it were hellgrown, twisted and wicked. Epic, even. If this book were a pie, it would contain more than a measly four and twenty blackbirds, But it's not a pie, it's a spasm. Which is another word for pie, in a language you don't know. In fact it's even more than a spasm. It's a devil's banquet of adults-only offal comprising nine and forty (49) satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes, Excerpts below: AWAREWOLF I came upon a golem “encountered” one might say eating dust as golems must all bloody, muddy day. WHO ...

A follow-up to highly acclaimed Spunky Grandmas..and Other Amusing Characters, Super Spunky Grandmas…and Other Amusing Stuff features many of the same type of clever stories about comical human behavior that entertained readers of Mogren’s earlier work. It adds dozens of amusing, tongue-in-cheek observations about human nature and the world we live in, all written in sonnet form. Illustrator, Joella Goyette, is back with cartoonish drawings that introduce the themes of each of the book’s 13 chapters.

OMG! Now it’s my turn… I’d heard about it, but I never believed it could be true… sorority house triple dare! Even before I took the blindfold off, I knew something was up. I can’t believe who my sorority sisters want me to mud wrestle… but I admit I’m thrilled that I have to taken on the football team all-stars… five big rough young hunks at once! Just my luck I’d drawn the scarlet card… or was it? These young sorority ladies are at it again… and this time their target is freshman coed Lexi Leighton! Lexi is the newest competitor chosen by a draw in her sorority house...

George wished he wasn't the scruffiest giant in town. So when he sees a new shop selling giant-size clothes, he decides it's time for a new look: smart trousers, smart shirt, stripy tie, shiny shoes. Now he's the smartest giant in town...until he bumps into some animals who desperately need his help - and his clothes! Perfect for listening to at home, in the car, at bedtime - or any time at all!

Christmas stories Stories Collection ******************* Young and beginner reader’s kids would get the most enjoyment from the tree titles for Christmas we selected In We hope you enjoy reading them to your kids, grandchildren. SEA OF LOVE <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 Just off by the sea in a small shabby shack, Lived Sarah’s whole family, a big crowded pack, Two parents, three brothers, and three sisters, too; With less room inside as all the kids grew. OH DEAR SAID THE DEER ************************************* "Oh dear," said the deer, "I'm so cold, what a plight! I've searched for a...

From ages twelve to seventeen L. M. Smith found herself frequently experiencing a need and a desire to express how she was feeling. Fraught with the troubles of all young girls, as well as the tribulations and triumphs, she put her experiences to pen whenever something moved her. This is a collection from her heart as she experienced love, sorrow, joy, spirituality, and wonder with a passion and exuberance that only a young soul could. From one adolescent to another, this collection is both for the young, and the young-at-heart.

Hungry Holidays from that famished old lady! Listen to what happens as she swallows a host of Christmas items with hilarious results. The rhyming text and funny illustrations are sure to appeal to young readers.

📘 Line Drives & Life Lessons A Serious, Sarcastic & Sage: A Collection of Fast-Pitch Softball Poetry Welcome to the dugout—the real one. The one with sunflower seeds, scuffed cleats, and a coach who tells it like it is. Line Drives & Life Lessons is a bold, funny, and fiercely honest collection of poems for fast-pitch softball players who hustle hard, cheer louder, and know that greatness lives somewhere between the chalk lines and the dirt stains. Narrated by the unforgettable Coach Shelly—a sarcastic, 60-year-old softball lifer with a heart of gold and zero patience for joggers—...

Words of a Feather is a stunning collection of Short Stories, Poems and Sketches from author, Robert E. Kearns. There's something inside for every taste, and Words of a Feather comes packed with hours of reading pleasure. Replete with entertainment, there is sure to be laughs, tears, spills and thrills. Satisfying pleasures of the mind, Words of a Feather is a book you'll want to read again and again.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are! Sing along with Pete the Cat on his groovy adaptation of the classic children's bedtime song "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star".

This volume brings together the poems from my books with 18 new works. 4 poetic voices are used: Big Zee, a right-on Rasta from Salford; Missy Pammy, a fearless feminist from the West Country; Meaty, the UK’s number 1 butcher-poet, and the cerebral, sceptical Morose. The collection includes an Icelandic version of “Jerusalem”, a new Brexit anthem “Brexodus”, a Muslim lady’s lament in the style of Amy Winehouse, updates of W.H. Auden and Philip Larkin, some Hong Kong City Blues and a Gothic/manic homage to Sylvia Plath. The poems attempt to open minds through the power of words. ...

This is a collection of seven children's poems of varying lengths. It comprises about 4,201 words. There are two poems about dragons; one about a fun imaginary friend; one about strange and unique creatures on a small island; one about dealing with fear of the dark; one about dealing with anger issues; one about dealing with small injuries; and a fun little limerick for adults my age. I hope you and your family enjoy them.

Welcome to the Lives of Five Naughty Wives! The long-awaited parody of the TV series is here, naughtier and nastier than the series…Delicious Housewives is the hottest book ever by #1 Best-Selling International Author Tamarias Tyree. Secrets, mystery-suspense and sexual shenanigans! One critic called it a “trashy, fun read!” ~ Names and personalities have been changed/altered in keeping with the parody, but the novel and its characters are still fun and sexy like their TV counterparts. These hot ladies enjoy lots of sexual adventures and an assortment of misadventures including ...