Poetry Humor

OMG! What have I done?! A young conservative wife does something she never dreamed she'd do in a million years: She sleeps with her husband's best friend! A hot soldier teaches her a few new tricks . . . But it goes way beyond that . . . When her husband's best friend stays over while her husband is away ... Kim cannot believe what happens next! Apprx. 12,000 words Previously published in two volumes as Stretched By My Husband's Best Friend. Includes: vaginal / oral / backdoor / fisiting

La Abuela Marta ******************* Una mañana soleada; con el cielo iluminado, El gato negro y el blanco afuera habían caminado; Para calentarse en el sol; toda esa tarde aprovechaban, Y los últimos días calurosos de junio así disfrutaban.

The Gruffalo said that no gruffalo should ever set foot in the deep dark wood. But one wild and windy night the Gruffalo's child disobeys her father's warnings and ventures out into the snow. After all, the Big Bad Mouse doesn't really exist...does he? Perfect for listening to at home, in the car, at bedtime - or any time at all!

A woman expects her boyfriend to pop the question at dinner, only it’s not the question she expected. A girl finds a game board with frightening results. A young woman must fight off an attacker who has a surprising motive for his crime. The painting of a mother's dead son haunts her. A young wife wants to surprise her husband but it doesn’t turn out as she hoped. Or does it? This book of stories, poems, and other writings by the author of the Twigs series and the Detective Tony Pantera series will delight and frighten as well as make the reader ponder life's way of throwing us a curve ...

Nothing but flowers ******************* Late, late at night, when I just couldn’t sleep I heard a noise outside, it sounded like a beep A flying saucer landed, and no, it was no joke: A little man emerged, who looked at me and spoke

From award winning author, Robert E. Kearns (Hy Brasil: Island of Eternity, Crabb, Carnivore, Freedom is For the Few, Ossuary, Embers and A Donnybrook Affair, comes an unforgettable collection of Humorous Poems, Entertaining Short Stories and Hilarious Sketches. In this wonderful edition, Kearns makes fun of both the clichéd and the mundane of everyday life through the medium of poems he refers to as gibberish. Then, using his sketches to great effect, he again delves into the regular occurrences of humanity with writing that will elicit more than the single laugh. To finish, Kearns ...

The witch and her cat fly happily over forests, rivers and mountains on their broomstick until a stormy wind blows away the witch's hat, bow and wand. Luckily, they are retrieved by a dog, a bird and a frog, who are all keen for a ride on the broom. It's a case of the more, the merrier, but the broomstick isn't used to such a heavy load and it's not long before...snap! It breaks in two! And with a greedy dragon looking for a snack, the witch's animal pals better think fast.

OMG! Now it’s my turn… I’d heard about it, but I never believed it could be true… sorority house triple dare! Even before I took the blindfold off, I knew something was up. I can’t believe who my sorority sisters want me to mud wrestle… but I admit I’m thrilled that I have to taken on the football team all-stars… five big rough young hunks at once! Just my luck I’d drawn the scarlet card… or was it? These young sorority ladies are at it again… and this time their target is freshman coed Lexi Leighton! Lexi is the newest competitor chosen by a draw in her sorority house...

Thirty-five years after the publication of the much-loved classic There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly comes There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed the Sea, a fantastic prequel to the original title. Here the old lady swallows more and more creatures from the sea to try and catch the initial fish.

When Crab finds a new shell, he doesn’t want to share it with anyone - especially not a blobby purple anemone and a tickly bristleworm. But life in the rock pool proves tougher than Crab thinks and he soon finds he needs his new housemates. Sharing a Shell is a charming underwater tale of friendship and fun from the stellar picture book partnership of Julia Donaldson and Lydia Monks, creators of What the Ladybird Heard. With brilliant rhythmic verse, charmingly read by Julian Clary, this is a firm favourite with children and parents alike.

This volume brings together the poems from my books with 18 new works. 4 poetic voices are used: Big Zee, a right-on Rasta from Salford; Missy Pammy, a fearless feminist from the West Country; Meaty, the UK’s number 1 butcher-poet, and the cerebral, sceptical Morose. The collection includes an Icelandic version of “Jerusalem”, a new Brexit anthem “Brexodus”, a Muslim lady’s lament in the style of Amy Winehouse, updates of W.H. Auden and Philip Larkin, some Hong Kong City Blues and a Gothic/manic homage to Sylvia Plath. The poems attempt to open minds through the power of words. ...

The Original Book of 21st Century LIMERICKS By Benjamin Maor A collection of Limericks for the 21st Century. On Iconic Events, Movies, TV Shows, Sitcoms, Social Media, modern society and people. LIMERICKS TITLES Will Smith Vladimir Putin Volodymyr Zelenskyy Donald Trump Boris Johnson Tiger Woods Bruno Mars Ed Sheehan Bob Dylan Del Boy Billy Connoly World Trade Center George W Bush Pablo Escobar Walter White Bill Clinton Bob Geldof Financial Crisis Kim Jung Un Quentin Tarantino Angelina Jolie Britney Spears Rebel Wilson Graham Norton James Corden Barrack Obama Osama Bin Laden Usain Bolt ...

Hungry Holidays from that famished old lady! Listen to what happens as she swallows a host of Christmas items with hilarious results. The rhyming text and funny illustrations are sure to appeal to young readers.

Hace mucho, mucho tiempo, en un lugar muy muy lejano Un gran barco pirata salió a navegar un día temprano, Llevaba sacos de plata y oro que valían mucho dinero, Y tres piratas malvados, fuertes y de carácter aventurero.

Spontaneous bebop (sans Rocksteady) banter, of the non-combustible kind, collected via e-mail & text communications & assembled like a tossed salad prosaic, then wrapped in a warm blanket of jocular exchange, with a smattering of inanity, a dash or two of incoherence, & maybe just a hint of maniacal genius, chronicling the inner workings of the twin brainship (TB-8).

We all hate poetry, right? But we might hate it a little less if it were hellgrown, twisted and wicked. Epic, even. If this book were a pie, it would contain more than a measly four and twenty blackbirds, But it's not a pie, it's a spasm. Which is another word for pie, in a language you don't know. In fact it's even more than a spasm. It's a devil's banquet of adults-only offal comprising nine and forty (49) satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes, Excerpts below: AWAREWOLF I came upon a golem “encountered” one might say eating dust as golems must all bloody, muddy day. WHO ...

From ages twelve to seventeen L. M. Smith found herself frequently experiencing a need and a desire to express how she was feeling. Fraught with the troubles of all young girls, as well as the tribulations and triumphs, she put her experiences to pen whenever something moved her. This is a collection from her heart as she experienced love, sorrow, joy, spirituality, and wonder with a passion and exuberance that only a young soul could. From one adolescent to another, this collection is both for the young, and the young-at-heart.

El tío Manuel se despertó una mañana de mal humor, La alarma de su reloj lo molestó por el ruido abrumador. Gritó: “¡Cállate, reloj!” y agitó su puño fuertemente, Presionó el botón de APAGADO de forma insolente.

This poetry book has different riddles for mid-grade and teen children. It will be challenging to some adults, also. Some riddles may have more than one answer, which means the same things. This is a series of riddles, and the next one will be Biblical riddles.

Charlie Cook is reading a book about a pirate captain, who is reading a book about Goldilocks, who is reading about a knight, who is reading about a frog.... From kings and queens to aliens and ghosts, there's something for everyone in Charlie's amazing book of adventure! Perfect for listening to at home, in the car, at bedtime - or any time at all!