Poetry Humor

Spontaneous bebop (sans Rocksteady) banter, of the non-combustible kind, collected via e-mail & text communications & assembled like a tossed salad prosaic, then wrapped in a warm blanket of jocular exchange, with a smattering of inanity, a dash or two of incoherence, & maybe just a hint of maniacal genius, chronicling the inner workings of the twin brainship (TB-8).

We all hate poetry, right? But we might hate it a little less if it were hellgrown, twisted and wicked. Epic, even. If this book were a pie, it would contain more than a measly four and twenty blackbirds, But it's not a pie, it's a spasm. Which is another word for pie, in a language you don't know. In fact it's even more than a spasm. It's a devil's banquet of adults-only offal comprising nine and forty (49) satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes, Excerpts below: AWAREWOLF I came upon a golem “encountered” one might say eating dust as golems must all bloody, muddy day. WHO ...

The witch and her cat fly happily over forests, rivers and mountains on their broomstick until a stormy wind blows away the witch's hat, bow and wand. Luckily, they are retrieved by a dog, a bird and a frog, who are all keen for a ride on the broom. It's a case of the more, the merrier, but the broomstick isn't used to such a heavy load and it's not long before...snap! It breaks in two! And with a greedy dragon looking for a snack, the witch's animal pals better think fast.

PERVERSE is an eclectic collection of short, snatched memories and random ideas. ‘Perversity’, is an obstinate urge or contrary behaviour; a wilful desire to not conform. That made me think - Life can sometimes be perverse – full of contradictions, disappointments, grief and sheer bloody-mindedness. But though it all, our sense of what is right and our submission to the rule of law, provides a counter balance that somehow gets us through. I hope you enjoy this collection of verse and prose - a pastiche of my life, a hope for better days, reflections on the good and bad times, a ...

A woman expects her boyfriend to pop the question at dinner, only it’s not the question she expected. A girl finds a game board with frightening results. A young woman must fight off an attacker who has a surprising motive for his crime. The painting of a mother's dead son haunts her. A young wife wants to surprise her husband but it doesn’t turn out as she hoped. Or does it? This book of stories, poems, and other writings by the author of the Twigs series and the Detective Tony Pantera series will delight and frighten as well as make the reader ponder life's way of throwing us a curve ...

Sleepy Brat With Her Dearest Friend & A Stranger~ Abigail: A Sleep Sex With Permission Short An evening tryst leads to so much more... Abigail wants one thing, and confides in her best friend Jason. Now Jason sets out to give her what she so desires... She longs for this to happen yet again, but Jason has other ideas and invites another gentleman along, a stranger, a hired hand from the nearby farm... and things take a turn towards a full on menage! A Victorian friends with benefits story. Apprx. 5000 words.

Billy is a small boy with a big imagination. Mr. Booth is a serious teacher with a strict lesson plan. When the irresistible force of Billy's unrestrained creativity meets the immovable object of Mr. Booth's fixed worldview, one thing is obvious: someone is going to learn a lot this school year! The irrepressible Billy, star of the New York Times bestselling When I Grow Up, returns in an uproarious back-to-school tale from the uniquely inspired "Weird Al" Yankovic.

THE BEST NEST ******************** At night when Mom said to take a bath, And wash his hair with shampoo. He’d only wet his hair with water, And his mother never knew.

El cazador ************** Un día caluroso de verano, frente al ventilador Estaba el gato blanco sudando por el fuerte calor De pronto, fuera de la ventana se quedó espiando A una pequeña ave que afuera estaba trinando Desde la espalda al frente, el gato se pudo estirar Y pensó: “¡Que buen día este para salir y cazar!”

¡Ayuda! ¡Viene el lobo! ************************* Hace muchos años, en una tierra muy lejana Vivía la familia de un pastor que trabajaba de forma cotidiana Entre las montañas tan altas y las laderas tan empinadas Sus tres hijos mayores cuidaban de las ovejas mimadas.

One minute, the narrator of this cleverly rhyming romp is quietly reading. The next minute, pigs descend upon his house in every imaginable getup, by every available means, from every possible place - even “pigs from France” and “pigs just in their underpants”. What results is lovable porcine mayhem and a pizza pig-out!

In Scranimals, you will find the fragrant Rhinocerose and the cunning Broccolions, and, if you are very, very quiet, you'll spot the gentle, shy Pandaffodil. So put on your pith helmet and join Jack Prelutsky for an adventure you will never forget!

When Crab finds a new shell, he doesn’t want to share it with anyone - especially not a blobby purple anemone and a tickly bristleworm. But life in the rock pool proves tougher than Crab thinks and he soon finds he needs his new housemates. Sharing a Shell is a charming underwater tale of friendship and fun from the stellar picture book partnership of Julia Donaldson and Lydia Monks, creators of What the Ladybird Heard. With brilliant rhythmic verse, charmingly read by Julian Clary, this is a firm favourite with children and parents alike.

Welcome to the Lives of Five Naughty Wives! The long-awaited parody of the TV series is here, naughtier and nastier than the series…Delicious Housewives is the hottest book ever by #1 Best-Selling International Author Tamarias Tyree. Secrets, mystery-suspense and sexual shenanigans! One critic called it a “trashy, fun read!” ~ Names and personalities have been changed/altered in keeping with the parody, but the novel and its characters are still fun and sexy like their TV counterparts. These hot ladies enjoy lots of sexual adventures and an assortment of misadventures including ...

Danny Nixon is a randy poet; His life kinda sucks big time. Few would choose to undergo it, Yet from the slime he plucks a rhyme. Smoking and drinking fill his hours. Also pursuing those ladies coy. His charm seldom overpowers. They rarely toy with Danny boy. Then events get awfully dire, But Danny swears he’s not a crook. Will he perish in the mire? Have a look at this fun book.

Pamplemousse is a collection of poems about the things we hold onto—ticket stubs, half-finished apologies, voicemails we can't quite delete—and the quiet reckonings that shape a life. These poems speak in a voice that is by turns tender, self-aware, and gently ironic. They search for meaning in burned-out streetlamps, late-night emails, broken clocks, and memories that refuse to behave. With nods to the everyday and the existential, Pamplemousse explores love, loss, and the strange dignity of continuing. If you've ever stared into your refrigerator late at night waiting for answers, ...

Words of a Feather is a stunning collection of Short Stories, Poems and Sketches from author, Robert E. Kearns. There's something inside for every taste, and Words of a Feather comes packed with hours of reading pleasure. Replete with entertainment, there is sure to be laughs, tears, spills and thrills. Satisfying pleasures of the mind, Words of a Feather is a book you'll want to read again and again.

One PLUS 5 Bonus Bundled Stories At a Great Price! Snag It for .99 cents Now! Cuckold. MILF. Step. Backdoor. Older. Younger. Fisting. Group. Ganged! All here and more! Cuckolded By My Wife & My Step! A husband wants a raunchier sex life, and his wife decides to give it to him! When they're both permitted to cheat by written agreement, will it be more than he bargained for? PLUS 5 Free Bonus Stories. Look Inside to see what Bonus stories are included. Hot intimate situations. Kindle Unlimited Members read for FREE.

The Catch Club Kids are at it again! This time, they're out to trap the Daddysaurus—a mystical creature capable of such amazing acts of kindness, bravery, brilliance and humor. The kids try to trap the creature with all his favorite activities, but will they succeed? Maybe all they need is a little sweetness to make this awesome Daddysaurus appear! T

This new book by Dr. Seuss, about making up one's mind, is the literary equivalent of buried treasure! What happens when a brother and sister visit a pet store to pick a pet? Naturally they can't choose just one! The tale captures a classic childhood moment - choosing a pet - and uses it to illuminate a life lesson: that it is hard to make up your mind, but sometimes you just have to do it!