Parenting School Age

The 14 essential conversations to have with your tween and early teenager to prepare them for the emotional, physical, and social challenges ahead, including scripts and advice to keep the communication going and stay connected during this critical developmental window.

Late school projects? Missing tennis shoes? Sibling squabbles? Arguing over the fact that laundry belongs in the hamper? Rushing out the door in the morning? If any of this sounds familiar, you're in the right place.

One basic need all children have, educator Alfie Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful and largely unknown research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval.

We live in a culture that hails motherhood as a woman's crowning achievement yet defines men first and foremost by their professional accomplishments, treating fatherhood as almost incidental - a bonus. But from her years spent as a pediatrician listening to children's needs and fears, Dr. Meeker understands just how crucial a father's role is.

Back in 2005, the first edition of Why Gender Matters broke ground in illuminating the differences between boys and girls—how they perceive the world differently, how they learn differently, how they process emotions and take risks differently. Dr. Sax argued that in failing to recognize these hardwired differences between boys and girls, we ended up reinforcing damaging stereotypes, medicalizing misbehavior, and failing to help kids to reach their full potential.

We’re in the midst of a parenting revolution that is radically changing the way we raise our kids. Gone are the days of minimizing emotions: Don’t Cry. You’re Fine. Don’t Make a Scene. As our understanding of developing brains has increased, today’s parents are looking for a new way to help their children understand their feelings and learn to process them.

While most parenting programs are designed to coerce kids to change, Parenting Without Power Struggles does something innovative, showing you how to help your children awaken their natural instincts to cooperate, rather than employing threats or bribes, which inevitably fuels their resistance. By staying calm and being the confident "captain of the ship" your child needs, you will learn how to parent from a place of strong, durable connection, and you'll be better able to help your kids navigate the challenging moments of growing up.

Respected Waldorf educator Rahima Baldwin Dancy explains the different stages of learning that children go through from birth to age six, giving you the wisdom and understanding to enrich your child's natural development in the right way at the right time. A trusted classic for over 20 years, this newly revised edition contains updated resources and additional information on discipline, early childhood programs, toilet training, using home life as curriculum, and more. From language and cognitive development to appropriate toys, Dancy speaks up for a rational approach to child-rearing.

Every child has a unique way of feeling loved. When you discover your child's love language - and how to speak it - you can build a solid foundation for your child to trust you and flourish as he or she grows. In this audiobook for parents, teachers, single parents, and more, Drs. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell offer practical advice for how to discover and speak your child's love language - in dozens of ways!

Being the parent of a smart child is great - until your son or daughter starts asking whether global warming is real, if you are going to die, and what will happen if they don't get into college. Kids who are advanced intellectually often let their imaginations run wild and experience fears beyond their years. So what can you do to help? In Why Smart Kids Worry, Allison Edwards guides you through the mental and emotional process of where your child's fears come from and why they are so hard to move past. Edwards focuses on how to parent a child who is both smart and anxious.

From internationally renowned family consultant Kim John Payne comes an eloquent guide that seeks to help parents reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need for their individuality to flourish.

Michele Borba has been a teacher, educational consultant, and parent for 40 years - and she's never been more worried than she is about this current generation of kids. The high-achieving students she talks with every day are more accomplished, better educated, and more privileged than ever before. They're also more stressed, unhappier, and struggling with anxiety, depression, and burnout at younger and younger ages - "we're like pretty packages with nothing inside," said one young teen.

What makes Denmark the happiest country in the world - and how do Danish parents raise happy, confident, successful kids, year after year? This upbeat and practical book presents six essential principles, which spell out P-A-R-E-N-T. With illuminating examples and simple yet powerful advice, The Danish Way of Parenting will help parents from all walks of life raise the happiest, most well-adjusted kids in the world.

In 1-2-3 Parenting with Heart, Dr. Thomas W. Phelan and pastor Chris Webb teach Christian parents to take charge while refraining from yelling, leading to better behaved children, happier parents, and a more peaceful home environment. Complete with relevant Bible verses, explanations, and exercises, this guide allows you to get back in charge of your home and enjoy your kids again by helping you set limits for your children, and by breaking down the complex task of parenting into three straightforward steps.

Why America's sons are underachieving, and what we can do about it. Something is happening to boys today. From kindergarten to college, American boys are, on average, less resilient and less ambitious than they were a mere 20 years ago. The gender gap in college attendance and graduation rates has widened dramatically. In Boys Adrift, Dr. Leonard Sax delves into the scientific literature and draws on more than 20 years of clinical experience to explain why boys and young men are failing in school and disengaged at home.

The Organized Student contains hands-on strategies for teaching your disorganized child how to organize for success in middle school and high school, with special tips for kids with ADD/ADHD and learning disorders. The overstuffed backpack, the missing homework, the unused planner, the test he didn't know about. Sound familiar? When the disorganized child meets the departmentalized structure of middle school, everything can fall apart. Even the academically successful child will start to falter if she misses deadlines, loses textbooks, or can't get to class on time.

Michael C. Reichert draws on his 30 years of experience researching the process by which boys become men to provide a road map for parents and educators who hope to help the boys they love and care about grow into strong, emotionally intelligent, and compassionate men.

As pediatrician and mother of two teenagers Cara Natterson explains, puberty starts in boys long before any visible signs appear, and that causes confusion about their changing temperaments for boys and parents alike. Often, they also grow quieter as they grow taller, which leads to less parent-child communication. But, as Natterson warns in Decoding Boys, we respect their increasing "need" for privacy, monosyllabic conversations, and alone time at their peril.

Yesterday, your child was a sweet, well-adjusted eight-year-old. Today, a moody, disrespectful 12-year-old. What happened? And more important, how do you handle it? How you respond to these whirlwind changes will not only affect your child's behavior now but will determine how he or she turns out later. Julie A. Ross, executive director of Parenting Horizons, shows you exactly what's going on with your child and provides all the tools you need to correctly handle even the prickliest tween porcupine.

Discipline is an essential part of raising happy and successful kids, but as more and more parents are discovering, conventional approaches often don't work and can even lead to more frustration, resentment, power struggles, and shame. Citing the latest research in child development, psychology, and neuroscience, Gentle Discipline debunks common myths about punishments, rewards, the "naughty chair", and more and presents practical, connection-based techniques that really work.