Parenting Humor

In the era of instant parent shaming and viral hot takes, some questions are too dangerous to ask out loud: What’s the proper first aid for my toddler’s vampire bite? What should I do if I take a wrong turn on the way to soccer practice and end up in the Cretaceous Period? How can I fend off Godzilla without disrupting my child’s nap? Fortunately, there’s now a parenting resource that answers those burning questions and many more. Professional comedy writer and amateur father James Breakwell tackles over 90 survival challenges ordinary parents may encounter in everyday life.

When you're blind, you see with your heart... Teddi Life’s tough. I can’t argue with that. I’m not referring to being blind. That brings its own challenges, but I’ve never let it hold me back from doing anything I wanted to do. I’m talking about losing my partner before the age of thirty. I thought I had it all figured out—marriage, kids, the whole parcel, neatly tied up with a bow, but it wasn’t meant to be. While Will lay dying, he made me promise never to love anyone else. I did, of course, because that’s what you do, and I meant it, at the time. And then I met Ethan. ...

The much-loved Guardian columnist asks what it takes to make a husband, and looks to his own married life to provide the answer. Anything resembling advice should be taken at listener's own risk. You'll never get divorced if you never get married. Not even your granny minds if you live in sin anymore. And if you're single you can choose curtains without somebody else butting in. So why bother with marriage? It can't just be an easy way round having to buy your own deodorant.

Once, Nurse Matilda made Mr and Mrs Brown's children good and well-behaved, but now they are naughty again. So when the children go to stay with Great Aunt Adelaide in London, Nurse Matilda has to be called to the rescue....

What happens when a trio of overworked and underappreciated good moms get pushed beyond their limits? They turn "bad" - ditch the kids, the housework, and their clueless partners with hilarious and heartwarming results. Based on the popular movies, Bad Moms: The Novel gives fans a new way to enjoy their favorite characters, Amy, Carla, and Kiki, as they smash the Perfect Mom pedestal, take on the grown-up Queen Bees, forge deeper bonds with their kids, get some long overdue respect and recognition, and indulge in a few hours of some crazy fun.

The Beaverton High School Breakfast Club show up for what they thought would be cleaning the locker room with a toothbrush when the morning goes horribly wrong, and they fall victim to a deadly, dark spell. Some jerkwad moon mage shoves the consciousness of Petra's three-year-old into the body of a musclebound barbarian, and she is transformed into a halfling. The kids get stuck as a cleric, fire mage, and other stalwarts of your typical fantasy gaming party.

Known for her sharp, witty and surreal view on everyday life, Lucy shares the unpredictable craziness of being a mum in this brilliant and laugh-out-loud 'mumoir'. Mums everywhere will recognise the madness of it all. Like when Lucy was hospitalised during her third trimester with chest pains but it turned out to be a burrito. Or when she was so tired at the park she forgot her own child's name.

Conviértete en una potencia comunicativa irresistibleVa mucho más allá de la palabra hablada. Lo que tienes que decir verbalmente es sólo una pequeña parte de lo que se necesita para cautivar a tus oyentes y ganarte al mundo.

Wendy Moore hides her collection of pilfered bric-a-brac from everyone, including her husband. He thinks she licked her kleptomania in therapy more than a decade ago. Therapy did help, as did focusing her attention on motherhood. But now Wendy’s gardening and furniture-refinishing hobbies fill up only so much of the day, leaving the recent empty nester lonely and anxious—a combination likely to trigger her little problem. She needs a project, fast. Luckily, Harper Ross—a single, childless younger woman in desperate need of highlights—just moved in next door.

Are you interested in 100 percent scientific and proven ways to make friends quickly, negotiate anything you want, turn enemies into friends, gain trust, and just be flat-out likable? How about step-by-step, methodical, literally foolproof approaches to make people want you around more? In The Science of Likability, that's exactly what you'll get. I've taken 16 of the most influential, famous, and effective psychological studies and broken them down to see exactly how you can use their findings to your advantage.

It's better to regret the things you've done than the things you haven't. Right? Jess I’ve made so many mistakes in my life, I’m sure I’m in the book of Guinness World Records, and unfortunately, this year has proved no exception. Telling my boss’s wife that we were having an affair was probably the biggest mistake, but the lying bastard broke my heart, so I don’t regret it. I do regret losing my job, though, especially now I’m broke. Frankly, I’m glad it’s nearly New Year, and I can put this annus horribilis behind me. If only I could do the same with the rest of my life, ...

Every parent has stories about their kids’ antics. The kind of stories that result in fall-on-the-floor laughter. The vignettes in this book will appeal to anyone who has had, or is planning to have, children. It’s a compilation of the best of the authors’ child-rearing experiences from topics like toilet training and selective deafness to traveling with our cherubs. But Honey, He Has Purple Hair is written in Erma Bombeck’s tongue-in-cheek style with sometimes differing perspectives from the authors. Sure, raising kids is a challenge. But what’s to stop you from doing it with ...

Overachieving parents want you to believe the harder you work, the better your kid will turn out. The truth is most kids end up remarkably unremarkable no matter what you do. Amateur parenting expert James Breakwell will teach you to stop worrying and embrace your child's destiny as devastatingly average. To get there, you'll have to overcome your kid, other parents, and yourself, all of whom will push you to do more than is absolutely necessary. Honestly, by reading this far, you're already trying too hard. But don't stop now. You're exactly the kind of person who needs this book.

After years of working as an image-obsessed actress in Hollywood, Roxanne finds herself at rock bottom from a disease that is anything but glamorous. In her first year of recovery, Roxanne has to take accountability for her past. From tales of being mistaken for a prostitute at the Hotel Bel-Air to botching a threesome attempt with an A-list celebrity, she must face the truth about herself and stop playing the victim.

"An utterly brilliant and wonderfully executed idea." –Jennifer Clarke (singer/songwriter) and Lenny Clarke (comedian/actor) Told from two different perspectives, The Cringe Chronicles is a unique father-daughter memoir following Kristin Tougias on her teenage tribulations and strange family vacations. Kristin’s father, author and travel writer Michael J. Tougias, is a bit eccentric and a true nonconformist who inadvertently adds to Kristin’s woes. At the end of each chapter chronicling their misadventures, Kristin’s father Michael gives his personal and humorous point of view, ...

A humorous and thoughtful look at life while raising two kids. Observations that make us think and laugh because these are journey's we are all on. From taking the most important class in high school, to the worst fake I.D. of all time, to teaching my son how drive while not having an heart attack, this book will take us back to a time when all was right. Or at least we thought it was.

Introduction Welcome to the ctrl-alt-deleted version of my life. Once upon a time, I had a morning routine that didn’t involve stepping on LEGOs barefoot, explaining to a toddler why the cat can’t wear diapers, or muting myself mid-Zoom call because someone was screaming about the injustice of a banana being “too banana-y.” Then came motherhood. And then came remote work. And then came the apocalypse. (Okay, maybe not the biblical kind—but certainly a toy-strewn, schedule-destroyed, sleep-deprived version of one.) This isn’t a guide. It’s not a parenting manual. It’s not ...

Gerrold, a science fiction writer from California, adopts a son who has a slight behavioral problem. He believes himself to be a Martian. Gerrold begins the long, involving work of trying to earn the acceptance of Dennis, a hyperactive eight-year-old who desperately wants a father's love, but is so insecure he feels he must be an alien. Gerrold's semi-autobiographical memoir of the first two years with Dennis is a funny, endearing, heartbreaking, and beautifully written testament to fatherhood.

Jodie Jackson is leaving her London life, her career and her husband behind. She'd like a chance to turn back the clocks, but she'll settle for some peace and quiet on her brother Bill's houseboat. But from the moment Jodie steps aboard her new home, it's clear she'll struggle to keep herself to herself. If it isn't Marilyn, who cleans for Bill and is under strict instructions to look after Jodie, then it's Ned, the noisy sculptor on the next-door houseboat. Ned's wood carving is hard on the ears, but it's made up for by the fact that he's rather easy on the eyes.

Holly Banks could not have made a worse first impression on the seemingly perfect moms in her new affluent community, the Village of Primm. Turns out wearing pink piggy pajama bottoms while dropping off her kindergartener late to the first day of school wasn’t her best look.