Kids Humor

I just returned from the mall after school shopping with my soon-to-be sophomore and her friend. I now understand why fathers opt to go camping, roll around in elk urine, and shit in a hole rather than go to the mall three days before school starts. As if the crowds weren’t bad enough, my girl decided to wear a flannel that hung lower than her shorts, making it appear that she was walking around naked from the waist down. She was flocked by sales people, who, I am sure, were calculating their commissions in their heads. I mean, why not?

An unexpected inheritance gives the Heffley family a chance to make major improvements to their home. But they soon find that construction isn't all it's cracked up to be. When things get rough, will the Heffleys be able to stay...or will they be forced to move?

Fifth grade is in full swing, and Norma Elliot is juggling it all; Mrs. Gookaw’s rambling lessons, Aunt Gail’s flashy new boyfriend, and the Porgys’ annoying, hairless chihuahua. Meanwhile, Pepper proposes to Miss Kelly with a rubber ring (probably from a vending machine), Boyd’s crush drama is spiraling, and Norma’s growing-up weirdness isn’t exactly smooth sailing. With her journal and faith, Norma faces awkward family moments, friendship chaos, and funky fall surprises--learning that life’s not about staying comfy, but about trusting God in the mess and the good times too. ...

Nate the Great needs your help. Annie's dog, Fang, is missing! That's what Nate discovers when his friends throw him a surprise Happy Detective Day party. Where is Fang? As you and Nate track down clues - Fang was learning tricks for the party; he was seen running away from two tiny poodles and following a lady wearing fluffy-bunny shoes - Nate will share his expert detective skills with you so you can sharpen your sleuthing talents.

A fun and exciting fantasy adventure novel for kids and preteens! Girls really can be heroes, and a little magic helps too.Katie is a normal girl living a normal life, until she falls through a glowing crevice in the sidewalk. She makes a note to herself to avoid glowing crevices in the future.On the other side of the crevice lies Dreamland, a realm of fantasy and magic, a place where she can let her imagination soar and develop new powers. Katie has no idea why she's there or what she's supposed to do, and she meets other kids also stunned to find themselves in the same realm of mystery. ...

For fun-loving Mena, life’s a peach. But then her world-traveling fiancé goes missing—without leaving his usual note—and her peachy life suddenly turns rotten. “Where’s Waldo?” she demands. Her twin is dismissive (Wenda knows something!); the neighborhood punk girl Lulu is seen lurking about with GUILT written on her kitten face; and Waldo’s nemesis Wigor is caught with his hands in the cookie jar—but denies it, even with crumbs befouling his villainous mustache. The only one Mena trusts is Fritz, a Tom Swiftian neighborhood boy who adores Waldo and tries to help Mena ...

Being president is no laughing matter.... Especially when Max is forced to run for class president to get even with his psycho teacher, Mr Armstrong. But how can Max possibly hope to win the presidency? He isn't the sportiest, smartest, best-looking or even tallest candidate in the running. And Mr Armstrong is determined to sabotage his campaign at every opportunity. Max now has no choice but to be the candidate his voters want and need...the funny kid!

Welcome to the Rotten School, a new series set in a boarding school that's rotten to the core. The school motto is Growth, Learning, Pizza. Meet charming conniver Bernie Bridges, his arch-rival Sherman Oaks, housemother Mrs. Heinie, Coach Bunz, Headmaster I. Will Upchuck, and the rest of the students and faculty in two stories that prove that while good is good and bad is better, rotten is the best of all!

Norma Elliot is a spirited ginger with a head full of orange curls and a heart full of questions. In this winter tale, she navigates life's ups and downs, learning valuable lessons and jotting them down in her secret journal. Far from perfect, Norma’s story is an honest and heartfelt journey of faith, self-discovery, and growing up—perfect for anyone who’s ever felt like a work in progress. With humor and heart, Victoria Simcox brings Norma’s world to life, hoping to remind readers that God’s love isn’t reserved for perfect people. It’s in the mistakes, the laughs, and the ...

Laughter is the best medicine and this comedy has the right dose. Joyce’s cooking is so bad that her husband and kids want to cut off their tongues to save themselves for the taste of her food. Joyce's husband, Gary, loves his football team more than he loves her. But they are not an entirely unhappy couple. They have five children. Twenty-one-year-old Fred, their eldest child, is a loafer who believes he will soon be a millionaire. He spends most of his time chasing his elusive dream. A gourmand, he is the only member of the family who enjoys Joyce’s cooking. Nineteen-year-old Nyasha ...

Joke telling can be very fun and can bring a smile to the face of others. Kids love jokes! Jokes can aid in story-telling, create laughs, and help with conversation and social skills. Your child will love this hilarious joke audiobook full of clean knock knock jokes for kids. This funny audiobook is full of hilarious knock knock jokes that will have you laughing for hours! This is one of the best joke collections in the world. These jokes about food will give you a case of the giggles. These funny jokes are excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Children will love listening aloud with friends and family.

When Max and his friends holiday at a ski resort for the rich and famous, Max realises that everything he could ever need to be happy is all here in one place and he's determined to fit in quick-smart! Max is the funny kid, but will his jokes work in the snow? Frozen pyjamas, fast cars, falling gracefully off cliffs, a wild mountain man, impossible chair lifts and a high-end fashion parade from lost property are just some of the things in store for Max and his friends in this Funny Kid adventure.

Rowley's best friend Greg Heffley has been chronicling his middle-school years in 13 Diary of a Wimpy Kid journals...and counting. But it's finally time for listeners to hear directly from Rowley in a journal of his own. In Diary of an Awesome Friendly Kid, Rowley writes about his experiences and agrees to play the role of biographer for Greg along the way. (After all, one day Greg will be rich and famous, and everyone will want to know his life's story.) But Rowley is a poor choice for the job, and his 'biography' of Greg is a hilarious mess.

Amelia Bedelia loves the house she lives in, and she really loves her neighborhood. But when her parents suggest a move, she turns it into an adventure. Together they visit open houses, explore new neighborhoods, and discover that home is where the heart is. Amelia Bedelia learns all about different types of houses in this Level 1 I Can Read full of family and adventure.

What do REAL PIGEONS do? They nest, of course! And when they nest, they nest HARD. Protecting their city from crime is tiring work after all! But the squad can't rest yet, not with a bone-crunching vulture on the loose, a wild child running amok, and a long-lost family to find! Will the REAL PIGEONS ever find the perfect nest to take the perfect nap?

Hace mucho, mucho tiempo, en un lugar muy muy lejano Un gran barco pirata salió a navegar un día temprano, Llevaba sacos de plata y oro que valían mucho dinero, Y tres piratas malvados, fuertes y de carácter aventurero.

Special delivery: Danger! When Stanley's mother needs the secret ingredient for a special recipe, Stanley mails himself to Mexico to track down its mysterious maker. But when a band of spies threatens to steal the secret, Stanley's simple trip becomes a race against an opponent that even a flat boy like himself can't slip past!!

Eleven-year-old Tom was bit by a vampire, a werewolf, and a zombie right before the first day of middle school. It was a weird and crazy day. And he didn't even get excused from sixth grade! Now he's being hunted down by the werewolf that bit him. Should Tom join a wolf pack? On the one hand, he could give up school and homework forever. (He really doesn't want to do his history report.) On the other hand, he'd miss his band, his friends, and Annie, his maybe-possibly-someday girlfriend. He might even miss his big sister, Emma.

Bloated Goat is a fantasy cartoon that comes to life in your head. Get ready to enjoy a gut-busting adventure full of crazy forest animals and hijinks galore. You’ll meet Granny Hammy, Cocky Doodle, Bloated Goat, and a wide assortment of wacky characters as they romp around the forest in this ill-conceived (but humorous!) plot. Watch in horror as the author tries to tie everything together with an explosive ending that you'll probably see coming a mile away.

On a street of old houses, a big hairy spider is searching for a home with dark corners to hide in. But when he wakes up, he finds a hand reaching for him and a lady proclaiming that she has always wanted a kitten and will name him Luigi! At first, a somewhat puzzled Luigi—used to being left alone to creep and dangle and spin webs—resists her kind advances. But soon, tasty breakfasts and getting tucked into bed (no one’s ever wished him good night before) have him thinking that kittens surely live magical lives. I will be a kitten! he decides. But how long can he keep up his facade?