Kids Humor

Who cut off Medusa's head? Who was raised by a she-bear? Who tamed Pegasus? And whatever happened to that Golden Fleece? It takes a demigod to know the answers, and Percy Jackson can fill you in on all the daring deeds of Perseus, Atalanta, Bellerophon, and the rest of the major Greek heroes.

My biggest worry used to be whether my rogue character would finally loot that stupid dagger after six weeks of grinding. Now? It’s surviving daycare pickup runs, cooking toddler-friendly meals without setting the house on fire, and not getting murdered by magical psychos. It all started when my sister dumped her five-year-old son Adam on me because of some "emergency." I figured I’d Netflix, babysit, and maybe teach the kid how to fake sick days like a pro. What I didn’t plan on? Finding out Adam’s got magic. The dangerous, world-shaking kind. The kind that paints a target on his ...

Whatever you do, don't ask Greg about his summer vacation because he definitely doesn't want to talk about it.... It's a brand new year and a brand new journal and Greg is keen to put the humiliating (and secret!) events of last summer firmly behind him. But someone knows everything - someone whose job it is to most definitely not keep anything embarrassing of Greg's private - his big brother, Rodrick. How can Greg make it through this new school year with his not-quite-cool reputation intact?

Teach your child patience! * * * * * * * * * "You forgot the mail?" The king yelled at the snail. But the snail stayed as calm as could be. He was not afraid of the king, you see. He knew where the gift was; he knew what to do. The monsters learned that patience pays off too. We are all familiar with the phenomenon of children wanting everything "here and now". This story describes just such a situation. I hope you and your children will enjoy it and learn from it. 子どもたちに辛抱について教えてくれる１冊！ 「郵便を忘れただと？」王様はカタツムリ君に...

‘Hey, how you doing readers? Adam Buxton here… Let's begin with a recap. No, don't skip it! It's great stuff in the form of a montage of scenes from a film that would certainly revive the flagging fortunes of the cinema were it to be made: The Adam Buxton Story…’ So begins Love You, Bye – Adam Buxton’s wonderful follow up to the bestselling Ramble Book.

Greg Heffley will never change his wimpy ways. You see, Frank Heffley actually thinks he can get his son to toughen up, and he enlists Greg in organized sports and other "manly" endeavors. Of course, Greg is able to easily sidestep his father's efforts to change him. But when Greg's dad threatens to send him to military academy, Greg realizes he has to shape up . . . or get shipped out.

Get ready - book 10 in the phenomenally best-selling Diary of a Wimpy Kid series is coming! Life was better in the old days. Or was it? That's the question Greg Heffley is asking as his town voluntarily unplugs and goes electronics free. But modern life has its conveniences, and Greg isn't cut out for an old-fashioned world. With tension building inside and outside the Heffley home, will Greg find a way to survive? Or is going "old school" just too hard for a kid like Greg?

There are 1.371 million animal species on Earth, each with their own quirky characteristics. Keep listening to learn some bonkers and hysterical facts about a few of them! People won't protect things they don't love. People won't love things they don't know. Here's your kid's chance to get to know some awesome, amazing, and amusing animals! The world around us is fascinating, as is the wildlife in it. My goal is to inspire a love and respect for this planet that'll make the next generation socially and environmentally conscious and motivate them to protect the earth.

Valdez Jones VIII calls himself Wrecker because his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather salvaged shipwrecks for a living. So is it destiny, irony, or just bad luck when Wrecker comes across a speedboat that has run hard aground on a sand flat? The men in the boat don't want Wrecker to call for help—in fact, they'll pay him to forget he ever saw them. Wrecker would be happy to forget, but he keeps seeing these men all over Key West—at the marina, even in the cemetery. And now they want more than his silence—they want a lookout.

Every morning, Judy measures Stink, and it's always the same: 3 feet, 8 inches tall. Stink feels like even the class newt is growing faster than he is. Then one day, the ruler reads 3 feet, 7 and 3/4 inches! Can it be? Is Stink shrinking? Stink tries everything to look like he's growing, but wearing up-and-down stripes and spiking his hair don't seem to be fooling anybody into thinking he's taller.

Jake McQuade is the smartest kid in the universe — and he's back to defend his title! This time, he is heading off to a camp for geniuses sponsored by billionaire tech mogul (and brilliant inventor) Zane Zinkle. But genius camp is not like regular camp. There are limo buses, robot polar bears, and high-tech cabins with high-tech toilets! But it isn’t all fun and brain games at camp, especially when Jake goes up against the artificially intelligent Virtuoso quantum computer — the smartest machine in the universe!

Nelson is a ninja. He's not the coolest. Or the bravest. But he is the world's nerdiest ninja! And now he has to stop an animal rampage and machines going crazy all over town! For that, he'll need his new jetpack...and some serious ninja skills! How will Nelson learn to fly when he's scared of heights?

Nate knows he's meant for big things. REALLY big things. But things don't always go your way just because you're awesome. Nate barely survives his dad's toxic oatmeal before rushing off to school - minus his lunch. He body slams the no-nonsense principal. He accidentally insults his least favorite teacher, the horrifying Mrs. Godfrey (aka Godzilla). And school has barely started!

Mr. Jenkins, the director at Camp Lone Wolf, has decided to hold a track meet. He's even brought an expert running coach to help the Bailey School kids prepare. The new coach is strangely inspirational—when she sings, people feel like they can do anything. But when the kids notice the strange resemblance the coach bears to a mermaid, the fact that she refuses to get wet, and that she's planning to run off with Mr. Jenkins, they wonder if this coach is more than she appears to be. Can the kids solve this mystery before they lose Mr. Jenkins and Camp Lone Wolf forever?

Want to get back at your kids for making you put up with the most nauseating encounters, while still enjoying some quality time with them? Here’s a unique way of accommodating your child’s preference for the distasteful things in life, without getting yourself dirty. Prepare to be revolted, stumped, and totally tickled with this insane family challenge!

Long before saving the earth became a global concern, Dr. Seuss, speaking through his character the Lorax, warned against mindless progress and the danger it posed to the earth's natural beauty.

Over 450 hilarious jokes with a laugh-out-loud cartoon on every page. Hundreds of rib-ticklers that promise hours of fun for young readers! Packed with side-splitting jokes about ninja’s, ghosts, school, animals, and much, much more. This book is an easy read with wonderfully silly illustrations on every page for even more laughs. The fun doesn't stop. This mega collection of jokes for kids is fully illustrated, family-friendly, and filled with modern and classic jokes. It will help kids improve their reading comprehension and verbal skills. They’ll be laughing so much they won’t ...

Risk-averse Greg Belmont is content with being ordinary. He's got a friend - that's right, just one - at his fancy prep school, and a pretty cool dad (even if he is obsessed with organic soaps that smell like a mix of salted pork and Icelandic bog). The problem is, Greg isn't ordinary... he's actually a fantastical Dwarf! He discovers the truth the day his dad brings home a gross new tea - one that awakens bizarre abilities in Greg. Then a murderous Bro-Troll kidnaps his dad and Greg is whisked away to the Underground, where Dwarves have lived for centuries right beneath Chicago.

Penguin presents the unabridged, downloadable audiobook edition of Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul written by Jeff Kinney. A family road trip is supposed to be a lot of fun . . . unless, of course, you're the Heffleys. The journey starts off full of promise, then quickly takes several wrong turns. Gas station bathrooms, crazed seagulls, a fender bender, and a runaway pig-not exactly Greg Heffley's idea of a good time. But even the worst road trip can turn into an adventure.

A glitter explosion. A ruined poster. A mystery sandwich. Welcome to Marie Lane’s messiest week ever. Twelve-year-old Marie Lane has big plans to win her school’s kindness poster contest—until a spilled paint cup, a very sparkly dog, and a bad case of Tuesday ruin everything. But just when things feel hopeless, Marie turns her glittery disaster into a message from the heart: “Kindness isn’t always neat. But it always matters.” What follows is a week full of awkward apologies, anonymous acts of kindness, and one sandwich that just might change everything. With humor, heart, and a...