Humourous Satires

Bergdorf Blondes are a thing, you know, a New York craze. Absolutely everyone wants to be one, but it’s très difficult. Honestly, it requires a level of commitment comparable to, say, learning Hebrew or quitting cigarettes. But first, a little bit about moi. The gossips call me a champagne bubble of a girl. I’m fluent in French, intermittently. I gave up England for Princeton to my mother’s horror. By day, I write articles for a fashion magazine. By night, I’m on the prowl for the ultimate accessory a Bergdorf Blonde must have: an impossibly rich man with a very large diamond ring.

After pacifying the old Earth underground military base and defeating the Sleem, Tyson Dawes and Silken Sands are flush with new items and morties. But the Dearth Conglomerate has been circling over them in Arizona, and they want his land. Which wouldn't be such a problem if the boss weren't such an incompetent and spoiled child.

Marian is determined to be ordinary. She lays her head gently on the shoulder of her serious fiancé and quietly awaits marriage. But she didn't count on an inner rebellion that would rock her stable routine and her digestion. Marriage a la mode, Marian discovers, is something she literally can't stomach....

Bob Comet is a retired librarian passing his solitary days surrounded by books and small comforts in a mint-colored house in Portland, Oregon. One morning on his daily walk he encounters a confused elderly woman lost in a market and returns her to the senior center that is her home. Hoping to fill the void he’s known since retiring, he begins volunteering at the center. Here, as a community of strange peers gathers around Bob, and following a happenstance brush with a painful complication from his past, the events of his life and the details of his character are revealed.

Perhaps the most autobiographical (and deliberately least disciplined) of Vonnegut's novels, Slapstick (1976) is in the form of a broken family odyssey and is surely a demonstration of its eponymous title. The story centers on brother and sister twins, children of Wilbur Swain, who are in sympathetic and (possibly) telepathic communication and who represent Vonnegut's relationship with his own sister who died young of cancer almost two decades before the book's publication.

**About This Book** Welcome to "The Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Finding Winning Slot Machines" – your one-way ticket to understanding the mystical and often wallet-emptying world of slot machines! This book is not your average gambling guide. In fact, it’s less of a guide and more of a hilarious journey through the ups, downs, and sideways spins of slot machine gambling. Are you tired of self-help books that make you feel worse about yourself? Bored of strategy guides that make quantum physics seem simple by comparison? Do you love the sound of coins clinking but hate the sight of ...

Everyone's favorite houseguest who never left, Leon Black (played by award-winning comedian JB Smoove from HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm), drops his wisdom and good-bad advice for the masses. Learn the secrets Larry David has gleaned from the Falstaff of television. Be forewarned: in opening this audiobook and Leon's mind, you need to be prepared for straight talk. The kind of unfiltered blunt straight talk that pounds on your door, invites itself in, makes itself at home, and helps itself to your food, your security pass code, and your expensive organic beet juice.

Meet Phluttr - a diabolically addictive new social network and a villainess, heroine, enemy, and/or bestie to millions. Phluttr has ingested every fact and message ever sent to, from, and about her innumerable users. Her capabilities astound her makers - and they don't even know the tenth of it. But what's the purpose of this stunning creation? Is it a front for something even darker and more powerful than the NSA?

A wonderfully funny sequel to The Mouse That Roared. The Duchy of Grand Fenwick, the world's smallest country, whose army of 20 longbow men defeated the United States in The Mouse that Roared is back again. While the Americans and the Soviets are racing to claim the moon, Grand Fenwick's famous physicist makes the perfect rocket fuel from the zingiest wine in the world and the SPACE RACE IS ON! Books in The Grand Fenwick Series: Books 2 through 5 are best read after The Mouse That Roared, but all of the books can be read and enjoyed at any point in the series. Book 1: The Mouse That Roared ...

5 Rules for my Best Friend’s Brother while he crashes at our place 1. He will not speak to me. 2. I will not pick up after him. 3. We will not, under any circumstances, hook up. 4. See Rule #3. 5. Seriously. We’re not hooking up. Ever. Seth Newbury is a jerk. He wasn’t always. Once upon a time, he was a sweet boy who went around kissing ouchies on the playground. Then, he grew up and my first crush became my first bully, too. I decided to delete him from my life, but it’s hard to erase your best friend’s older brother. It’s even harder to avoid him when he’s temporarily living...

'I LOVED IT.' Phoebe MacLeod, Author of An (Un)Romantic Comedy '…unexpected twists & turns, which made it all the more captivating.' An Amazon Reader Not every love story follows the script. When Eleanor’s crumbling ancestral estate becomes the setting for a Pride & Prejudice TV adaptation, romance is the last thing on her to-do list. Between managing a sinking fortune, wrangling ranting producers and dodging rampaging cows, Eleanor’s hands are more than full. Enter four very different men vying for her attention – an actor with a dangerous reputation, a quiet missionary on vacation...

Simon Rich is "one of the funniest writers in America" (The Daily Beast) - a humorist who draws comparisons to Douglas Adams (The New York Times Book Review) and James Thurber and P.G. Wodehouse (The Guardian). With Hits and Misses, he's back with a hilarious new collection of stories about dreaming big and falling flat, about ordinary people desperate for stardom and the stars who are bored by having it all.

The authors of Sh*tty Mom are back with an hilarious guide presenting common parenting scenarios with advice for getting through the year the sh*tty mom way. Told in the same tongue-in-cheek voice as the original, this sequel is full of funny parenting tips and relatable stories for contemporary moms. Sh*tty Mom for All Seasons explores the occasions throughout the year that test every mother's patience and inspire self-deprecating humor and that second glass of wine.

London, 2044. The St. James Park pelicans have gone missing - the day before its rookie, celebrity president unveils the British Republic's new pelican flag. At the same time, British intelligence uncovers coded messages about possible anti-government activity. Who are the bird-nappers and what do they want? And who is behind the secret messages? Agent Howie Pond - license to lunch - reluctantly agrees to try and find out.

Dead men tell no tales—unless they’re still walking. Boric the Implacable was a legend in his own time—a king, a warrior, and a world-class badass. But death, as it turns out, was just the beginning. Slain by a coward with a lucky blade, Boric finds himself stuck somewhere between this life and the next, trapped in his own corpse and shackled to a cursed sword that refuses to let him go. Now, navigating the land of Dis as a reluctant wraith, Boric must seek answers from witches, dodge sunlight like a vampire with a sunburn, and fight off the creeping rot of undeath—all while ...

London, 2045. Three months into the Coffee Wars, and Britain's caffeine supplies are at critical levels. Brits are drinking even more tea than usual, keeping a stiff upper lip and praying for an end to it all. A secret government coffee stockpile could save the day...but then mysteriously disappears overnight. One man is asked to unravel the missing-coffee mystery. His name is Pond. Howie Pond. And he's in desperate need of a triple espresso.

A member of the landed gentry, with a seemingly guaranteed income from his estate in the country, Oblomov lives in Petersburg, uninterested in the business that provides his living and barely aware that the revenue is diminishing. Not that he leads a dissolute life of extravagance, balls and entertainment. Instead he is a dreamer, a sybarite, content above all to spend most of the day supine, in bed. The novel opens with Oblomov thus ensconced, attended only by his dirty, grumbling, indolent servant Zahar, who has looked after him since childhood, catering to his every need.

When an industrial accident unleashes an "airborne toxic event", a lethal black chemical cloud floats over the Gladneys' lives. The menacing cloud is a more urgent and visible version of the "white noise" engulfing the Gladneys - radio transmissions, sirens, microwaves, ultrasonic appliances, and TV murmurings - pulsing with life yet suggesting something ominous.

Entrusted with the lives of Jesus Christ's top servicemen, YouTube superstars Matt Watson and Ryan Magee must travel to the farthest reaches of the earth and terminate public enemy number one: Osama bin Laden. Discovering along their journey that things aren't always so easy for two incredibly rich and handsome celebrities, the dynamic duo is put through the ultimate trial of courage, patriotism, and friendship.

BUYER BEWARE! Do NOT purchse this book if you are looking for any of the following: -A plot -Interesting dialogue -Romance -Action and/or adventure -Zombies -Insight into the human condition -An underlying message -Complex characters -Comedy -Symbolism -Gunplay -A point BELIEVE THE 1-STAR REVIEWS: THIS IS THE MOST BORING BOOK EVER WRITTEN.