Humorous Noir

Inspired by vintage Film Noir and Alfred Hitchcock, enjoy this eclectic collection of short stories regarding clumsy attempts at retribution or retaliation, also known as a bit of comeuppance. Come on, everybody has that urge now and then. BTW: resemblance of these characters to ANY colleagues of friends (past or present) is PURELY coincidental! (No, really!). Stories include: OFF THE BEATEN PATH: A bickering couple and a robbery that goes from bad to worse . . . to unexpected. LIVING DOLL(Badgers and Colors): A little girl, a doll who looks like her and people who don’t seem to notice ...

Gus is having one of the best things a man that works in law enforcement can have, a very slow day. His slow day only gets better when he discovers that an ice cream shop is opening near the law enforcement complex. Even though the ice cream shop only serves gelato, that’s not enough to spoil his good mood on this slow day. The only real way his slow day could get ruined was if someone mysteriously dropped dead in the yoga studio across the street from the ice cream shop while at nearly the same time Father Xavier volunteered him to speak at the weekly Tuesday prayer breakfast at town ...

It’s the summer of 2015, Brooklyn. The city is sweltering from another record-breaking heat wave, this one accompanied by biblical rains. Edith, a recently retired legal librarian, and her identical twin sister, Kat, a feckless romantic who’s mistaken her own eccentricity for originality, discover something ominous in their hall closet: it seems to be phosphorescent, it’s a mushroom . . . and it’s sprouting from their wall.

Coalville is on fire—from below. The old mines are burning, and everyone has poison gas in their brain. Maybe that’s why the town is so corrupt. Now that he’s a Benedictine monk, Tommy Martini never wants to see the place again—hell-raisers there hold a grudge till they die, and he’s on their wish list. But a girl he once loved has gone missing, and his best friend from childhood has been murdered. Among the living is a shy girl from Tommy’s past, who wants to help. Together, they learn the secret of the elephant’s graveyard, and it’s not in Africa.

Cold Storage, Alaska, is a remote fishing outpost where salmonberries sparkle in the morning frost and where you just might catch a King Salmon if you're Zen enough to wait for it. Settled in 1935 by Norse fishermen who liked to skinny dip in its natural hot springs, the town enjoyed prosperity in the mid-20th century, at the height of the frozen fish boom. But now the cold storage plant is all but abandoned and the population is shrinking every day.

Spring is in the air. Gus is feeling pretty good about the change in seasons until an unknown man decides he would rather change from being alive to being dead. He clearly drank something toxic, and it didn’t agree with him. The question is, did he really decide to do that, or did someone make that decision for him. Only that question is buried under a lot of other layers of questions. Why did the man visit Gus a few days before his death proclaiming the end times were near? Why didn’t he take enough poison to kill him near instantly instead of lingering around for days slowly dying? ...

In the court of the “King”, everyone knows their place. But as the Artist wins hearts and egos with his ballads, uncomfortable truths emerge that shake the Kingdom to its core. Part surreal fable and part narco-lit romance, this prize-winning novel from Yuri Herrera questions the price of keeping your integrity in a world ruled by patronage and power.

Boy Genius is a powerful identity satire, the picaresque odyssey of a child seeking to avenge the wrongs perpetrated on his parents. Park's genius, born into the turmoil of post-war Korea, is used as a puppet by the South Korean government - before being banished to America. From a remote New York city ghetto, the boy wages a clandestine guerilla war against all symbols of authority.

The night world of Old Town, Portland, Oregon, has gone mad in the grip of gentrification, and at the center of it all is Lucky Supreme, a seedy tattoo parlor, whose proprietor is a street-bred artist with a unique approach to problem solving. Darby Holland has enough on his radar, but when some flash (tattoo artwork) stolen from him resurfaces in California, he can't help himself. His efforts to reclaim it set him on a dangerous path, dragging along his delightfully eccentric colleagues.

Good fences might make for good neighbors, but they make for even better chances to skim money off the top of a wall building budget. When a new and improved border wall is planned for the southern border of Gus’s humble little county; the powers that be task Sheriff Gus with doing everything possible to get that wall money, but at the same time not build that wall. To complete his task, he’ll need to find a cheap source of cement, an economically friendly workforce, and volunteered land to build a test wall on. He needs that test wall to sweeten the pot and prove to the politicians up ...

After Brooklyn mob widow Rena Ruggiero hits her 80-year-old neighbor Enzio in the head with an ashtray when he makes an unwanted move on her, she embarks on a bizarre adventure. Taking off in Enzio’s ’62 Impala, she retreats to the Bronx home of her estranged daughter, Adrienne, and her granddaughter, Lucia, only to be turned away by Adrienne at the door. Their neighbor, Lacey “Wolfie” Wolfstein, a one-time Golden Age porn star and retired Florida Suncoast grifter, takes Rena in and befriends her.

Matthew Cooke is a successful Los Angeles attorney. Until his A-list actor client blackmails him into exile. Now he’s back in his hometown. Ventura. Ninety miles up the coast but a lifetime away from the Hollywood bubble. He’s searching for a lifeline when an old high school acquaintance throws him one. Kevin Leary is a pot store owner, awash in cash and no way to spend it. He convinces Matthew to help him launder his money into the banking system. Along the way Matthew must contend with the appearance of his high school dream girl, Lola, and her father, the head of the Los Angeles mob....

Jack Carlito is a writer, an artist, and a wannabe movie director looking for a deal. But time is running out and when he travels to Orlando for the annual Creative Screenwriting and Directing Convention, he knows this is his last best chance of making it happen. After checking in, he goes down to the hotel bar to grab some dinner, and then he sees her standing behind the bar, the real-life embodiment of the girl of his dreams. He leaves Orlando confident he has met the leading lady for the movie he is writing, and for his life. But when she vanishes, he is left without either, as he ...

Excuse me if I'm feeling sentimental. I might die tonight. My name is Candy Tran. Before I was hunting down serial killers and feeding men to alligators, I was a normal, church-going, tax-paying citizen. Before all of this. I've been given a chance to tell my story, so please, listen closely. This is going to take a while.

Washed up pitching prospect, Rock Cobbler, now a hotshot detective with the Santa Lacrimosa PD likes working alone as much as he likes bourbon. That is to say, a lot.

Past events cast shadows you can't outrun. Wayne and Phil knew that better than anyone, after what happened when they were children, bullied by Wayne’s murderous brother. When Tyrone returns after many years, bent on revenge, they are about to be drawn back into his dangerous world. Book One of the Phil Tyler Crime Thriller series.

The sequel to Bocas, Bronte follows George to Australia. PJ left a little surprise back home. And her name is Charlotte.

Looking into the "suicide" of his lover's ex-husband sounds like a hairball to a private investigator. But he never imagined it could get him killed! Alton Rhode travels to San Francisco to investigate an alleged suicide and winds up ensnared in a web of cryptocurrency-fueled murder and international intrigue! The private eye knows a lot about murder and almost nothing about bitcoins. But he soon gets educated about the latter with the help of an unorthodox but brilliant young woman. And his own expertise comes in very handy when he runs into a bunch of Russians and Chinese whose motives ...

Shirley Lyle hooks for a living. She’s a big girl who keeps her profile low. But when a drug lord and his son toss her trailer, she adds a couple letters to her name. Now, she’s killed the drug lord’s son and two meth zombies. Fed up, ready to set fire to her past, her job - and her trailer - she’s dragged back into the role she’s forsworn by a man who presses her buttons with a hammer. Shirley realizes she’ll never be more than a 400-pound hooker. But when her partner-in-revolution, Ulyana the Ukrainian stripper, disappears, Shirley puts flame to fuse.

A PRIVATE EYE IS WARNED OFF A CASE HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT! Alton Rhode was sitting in his office minding his business when a gunman walked in and shot up the place. He told the private eye he would come back and kill him, if he pursued the Frank Pace case. Since Rhode didn't know anyone named Frank Pace, and in fact had no clients at the time, he wasn't really worried about what was an obvious case of mistaken Identity. But later, a nun walked in and said she was looking for her brother, Frank Pace. He was about to hire Rhode but had been murdered, and his body misplaced. Then, things really...