Humorous Noir

A sentient cloud whose arrogance leads to its own demise. A rich uncle who discovers a possible solution to climate change, but is not who he appears to be. A phantom killer who uses other people (and their cars) to commit murder. Balloons that predict the future. Paranormal investigators at the beach. Wolfmen who hunt bears for sport. A Cinderella story at a retirement home. Celebrities forced to make movies for eternity in a simulated world. A girlfriend who believes we reside in the mind of God.

There are only a few weeks left before an asteroid destroys the planet. It’s the countdown, and all of humanity is just waiting for the end. In Phoenix, AZ, the sheriff’s department and National Guard are battling for supremacy, gas is as good as cash, and elementary school kids are out for blood. Most people in town have become the worst versions of themselves. Except for Dutch Kovaks, private detective. Dutch wants to right some wrongs, help a few people in need, and use the days he’s got left for good. Most of all, he wants to track down a bottle of gin.

Mi chiamo Grace Bernard e, con ogni probabilità, il mio nome non vi dice proprio niente. Nessuno mi conosce perché languisco dietro le sbarre per l’unico crimine che non ho commesso. Eppure, se devo dire la verità nient’altro che la verità, ho ucciso diverse persone, alcune in modo brutale, altre con maggior delicatezza – vale la pena specificarlo, perché fa un’enorme differenza agli occhi giudicanti della gente. Quando ripenso a ciò che ho fatto, avverto persino una punta di tristezza, giusto una fitta trascurabile, al pensiero che nessuno verrà mai a conoscenza del mio strabiliante piano.

Eli’s asked to perform his magic act at a swanky charity gala, the Zombie Ball - a former zombie pub crawl which has grown into an annual high-class social event. What begins as a typical stage show for Eli turns deadly when two of the evening’s sponsors are found murdered under truly unusual circumstances. Compounding this drama is the presence of Eli’s ex-wife and her new husband, Homicide Detective Fred Hutton. Under pressure to solve the crime before the 800 guests depart, Eli and his detective nemesis go head-to-head.

Midnight Rider Productions is a dark-web nightmare machine, headed by the one man who years ago drove Darby to hide in the seamy environs of Old Town and make his life there. But Darby left his own mark back in the day, and the shadowy head of production has a grudge to settle. Rider has found him at long last and plans to make an example of him.

The landscape of contemporary Paris, replete with the best restaurants, the trendiest bars and clubs, is usually filled with the wealthy, the famous, and le rake or le rou, the charming, educated sophisticate with little or no conscience. Into this cushy world bursts Dr. Crandall Taylor - or rather the actor who plays him, the star of a dated American soap opera that is now one of the hottest prime-time shows in France. And this newfound fame, as enriching as it is unexpected, is not wasted on Crandall, eager to put his dark and often violent American past behind him and enjoy all the fruits and the women that Paris and fame have to offer him.

The night world of Old Town, Portland, Oregon, has gone mad in the grip of gentrification, and at the center of it all is Lucky Supreme, a seedy tattoo parlor, whose proprietor is a street-bred artist with a unique approach to problem solving. Darby Holland has enough on his radar, but when some flash (tattoo artwork) stolen from him resurfaces in California, he can't help himself. His efforts to reclaim it set him on a dangerous path, dragging along his delightfully eccentric colleagues.

Is someone systematically killing the judges called to the British Columbian bar? At least one has been murdered and several have disappeared. Arthur Beauchamp returns from retirement once again to take on the case, this time defending his former nemesis, backwoods poet Cudworth Brown. He finds himself chasing all kinds of leads, including tracking down a mystery novel that Brown’s unreliable former lawyer has been writing, just as Beauchamp’s own wife, Margaret, has announced her candidacy for the Green Party.

Stanley Hopkins cannot resist the invitation from a honey-voiced US attorney asking him to track down the source of photographs of a young dance major abducted five years earlier from her apartment in Clarkeston, Georgia. A journalist has stumbled across newly posted pictures of Diana Cavendish on the Internet, apparently taken just days before she disappeared with her boyfriend.

Private Detective Kaiser Wrench is a dangerous tiger to have as a friend, but he will avenge your death. Follow Kaiser as he prowls the streets of New York in the first five volumes of this series: I, the Tribunal; My Claws Are Quick; Retribution Is Mine!; A Solitary Evening; and The Great Slay.

Gus has traveled out of state and up to the city of Seattle to visit his daughter. She’s sharing an apartment with two criminology majors. Naturally their thoughts turn toward talking about crime and they ask Gus to talk about one of his cases. Since he doesn’t want to discuss anything too recent or else his daughter might know the people involved, he digs down deep into his memory banks for the perfect case from his first year as a sheriff. It also just so happens to be the first case he crossed path with Father Xavier. As he remembers it, Gus was called in to investigate an apparent ...

David Spandau is a P.I. and sometime rodeo cowboy. At the tail end of some much-needed vacation time, he takes a meeting with a talent agent whose client, Bobby Dye, is being blackmailed and threatened. Dye is young, brash, and on the verge of becoming a major star...if he lasts that long. It turns out that Dye faked a threatening note to hide a far more incriminating secret. When Spandau agrees to investigate, the game gets deadly.

Spring is in the air. Gus is feeling pretty good about the change in seasons until an unknown man decides he would rather change from being alive to being dead. He clearly drank something toxic, and it didn’t agree with him. The question is, did he really decide to do that, or did someone make that decision for him. Only that question is buried under a lot of other layers of questions. Why did the man visit Gus a few days before his death proclaiming the end times were near? Why didn’t he take enough poison to kill him near instantly instead of lingering around for days slowly dying? ...

All Gus wanted to do was take a day trip up to the big city to get away from his constituents. However, some constituents are harder to avoid than others. He inadvertently bumps into Father Xavier while at an antique show. Neither this chance meeting or Gus’s appraisal are the worst thing to happen to the sheriff while out of town, because the other thing that’s hard for him to avoid is getting involved in a murder case. When one of the big winners at the antique show turns up dead it’s up to Gus to figure out who the murderer is. With the Father’s help, can Gus sort out the clues ...

Mary Shields is a moody, acerbic probation officer dealing with some of Glasgow’s worst cases, and her job is on the line. Liam Macdowall was imprisoned for murdering his wife, and he’s published a series of letters to the dead woman, in a book that makes him an unlikely hero - and a poster boy for Men’s Rights activists. Liam is released on licence into Mary’s care, but things are far from simple. Mary develops a poisonous obsession with Liam and his world, and when her son and Liam’s daughter form a relationship, Mary will stop at nothing to impose her own brand of justice.

Gus suspected Father Xavier asked him out for Thanksgiving dinner for more than just the friendly company. When you’re the sheriff of a small county you learn quickly that people only put on airs of wanting to be with you out of friendship. Typically instead these people think they’ve spotted a crime that they want you to deal with. The father suspects something rotten is in the air concerning a holiday family reunion involving the daughter of a once rich rancher, her famous author older brother, and her less than famous younger brother, the loan writer from Santa Fe. Gus isn’t one to...

After spending several months banged up in Sunny Banks rescue center, life is looking good for Aubrey, a large tabby cat who has finally found his forever home with Molly and Jeremy. However, all that changes when a killer begins to target elderly people in the neighborhood. Aubrey wasn't particularly upset by some of the previous deaths—particularly that of Miss Jenkins, who enjoyed throwing stones at cats. But the latest victim, Mr. Telling, was one of the good humans.

Time is up in Old Town. As the pace of gentrification reaches frenzy in Portland, Oregon, Darby Holland’s beloved tattoo parlor, Lucky Supreme, is destroyed by a bomb that ripped through an entire city block. Only a warning call from his favorite prostitute saved his life. Developers have been like wolves at the door of Dmitri (the drunken landlord) for the past few years, but this is different.

California Dreaming: How Not to Become a Hollywood Screenwriter is the entertaining and often hilarious tale of one man’s cinematic obsession and his attempt to get a movie deal done in the place where dreams are made. James J. Caterino is the author of Fantastic Films, Cult TV Shows, and Perfect Pop Songs, To Meghan, The Geek Girl and the Quarterback, and Miami Noir 1987.

Jack Carlito is a writer, an artist, and a wannabe movie director looking for a deal. But time is running out and when he travels to Orlando for the annual Creative Screenwriting and Directing Convention, he knows this is his last best chance of making it happen. After checking in, he goes down to the hotel bar to grab some dinner, and then he sees her standing behind the bar, the real-life embodiment of the girl of his dreams. He leaves Orlando confident he has met the leading lady for the movie he is writing, and for his life. But when she vanishes, he is left without either, as he ...