Humorous Horror

Rape. Murder. Brain-eating. Never before has a work of fiction dared to delve so deeply into the realms of perversion, sexual dementia, and bad taste. Who is he? What is he? An inbred homicidal pervert? A supernatural psychopath? Who or whatever he is, he's on a roll now, raging out of the Virginia backwoods and leaving in his wake a trail of blood, guts, and disgust far beyond the limits of your reckoning.

Seth Grahame-Smith delivers the definitive, essential guide to making it through a horror movie in one piece. As hilarious as it is useful (if you’re trapped in a scary flick, that is), How to Survive a Horror Movie covers all the bases. Trapped in a haunted house? Check. Stalked by an evil doll? Check. Wandering aimlessly through the remains of the old world as a plague of zombies sweeps over the planet? Check.

Strand's perpetually unlucky character Andrew Mayhem sets off on a simple mission at the request of his wife: Get some spaghetti sauce. On his way to the store he meets Konrath's obnoxious private eye Harry McGlade, co-star of the Lt. Jack Daniels thrillers. Horrific violence, bad jokes, and lots of name calling soon ensues. Some sex, too, but not between the main characters.

All I want for My Birthday is…? What do you get a brat who has everything she wants... Except you? All Madison wants for her eighteenth birthday is to have her step be her first. But so far, he has resisted everything she can do to seduce him… except one thing that she noticed when she was semi-asleep. When Mady falls asleep watching TV with her step, she discovers his weakness for her… and she schemes to use that to get him right where she wants him…Never has a brat had to work so hard on her own birthday to get the one thing she really wants: birthday sex! Mady comes up with a ...

In the town of Night Vale, there’s a faceless old woman who secretly lives in everyone’s home, but no one knows how she got there or where she came from...until now. Told in a series of eerie flashbacks, the story of The Faceless Old Woman goes back centuries to reveal an initially blissful and then tragic childhood on a Mediterranean Estate in the early 19th century, her rise in the criminal underworld of Europe, a nautical adventure with a mysterious organization of smugglers, her plot for revenge on the ones who betrayed her, and ultimately her death and its aftermath.

Bundle of Erotic Stories for Adults! Includes 12 stories: 'Look Inside' the book to see a sample! A Dirty Dozen: Erotic Stories For Adults: Bundle 1 (From A Brat's First Time to Group to Hot Wives & More!) Over 95,000 words of exactly what you think... Includes: Lots of Variety - A Brat's First Time, Deep Penetration, Bi-curious Females, Groups, Backdoor, Threesomes, & More! Adults Only.

Lily was the stuff of any man’s fantasy… and she was also something else: My best friend’s mom! A geeky kid gets his first shot at being with a ‘real’ woman… she’s hot like those celebrity moms on TV, but she’s real and so hot she could be a swimsuit model. She’s also sexy and lonely and willing… even though she’s also his best friend’s mom! He’s more than a little inexperienced and has to feel his way through it!

When the final four women in competition for an aloof, if somewhat sleazy, bachelor’s heart arrive on a mysterious island in the Pacific Northwest, they mentally prepare themselves for another week of extreme sleep deprivation, invasive interviews, and of course, the salacious drama that viewers nationwide tune in to eagerly devour. Each woman came on The Catch for her own reasons - brand sponsorships, followers, and yes, even love - and they’ve all got their eyes steadfastly trained on their respective prizes.

Garth Marenghi - Frighternerman, Darkscribe, Doomsage - is back with volume two of his TerrorTome . . . Horror novelist Nick Steen is abducted and imprisoned at Nulltec, a shadowy technological research facility with excellent conference parking, concealed deep on the Stalkford Downs. There he is observed, tested and 'interfered with' (physically) by a team of scientific experts led by Dr Barbara Nullman, determined to probe and 'nullify' his escaping imagination . . .

"They're cute. They're sweet. They're out for blood. You'll never look at your cookie jar the same way again. The GingerDead Men – Paranormal Cozy Mystery to take a bite out of you!" In the quaint town of Sweetville, local baker Martha Sugarspoon discovers an antique oven at an estate sale. Thrilled with her find, she brings it to her bakery, unaware of its sinister history. As Christmas approaches, Martha bakes a batch of gingerbread cookies in the cursed oven, inadvertently awakening an ancient evil. The cookies come to life, their innocent smiles hiding razor-sharp teeth and an ...

George and Lou used to be thugs for hire. Now they're living in a shack in Costa Rica, hiding from the crime lord who wants them dead. Their last job, to deliver him a werewolf in a cage, went...badly. But they can't hide out forever, and when they're finally captured, it seems as if George and Lou's ultimate fate will involve being doused in gasoline and set aflame. Instead, they're given a second chance. There's another werewolf out there. This time, it's Ally, a 14-year-old girl.

Grandpappy is on hospice. Charles is going mad. Vile happenings are abound. You, listener, are not prepared. This is your lesson in depravity. Warning! This is an extreme horror novella. Very few triggers are left unpulled.

In this terrifying and hilarious prequel, we witness the genesis of the zombie plague in early 19th-century England. We watch Elizabeth Bennet evolve from a nave young teenager into a savage slayer of the undead. We laugh as she begins her first clumsy training with nunchucks and katana swords and cry when her first blush with romance goes tragically awry.

The Headless Horseman. Everyone knows the legend. That’s all it is, right? When a third headless victim is found on Boston’s streets, Chloe Mayfield is tasked with finding the person behind the crime spree – no one else wants a case this weird. It would be easy to dismiss the murders as nothing more than the random acts of a madman with a cosplay fetish, but when her investigations lead her to the morgue, she comes face to face with an apparition she cannot explain. Throw in the stalker-like attentions of a deranged clown, dangerous interactions with the Salem witches, and an enemy ...

Always read the fine print. Especially when you’re making a deal with the devil. Because demons are sneaky bastards. That’s how they got me. Well, and the rest of my hometown. A few hours of what I asked for and then we were all dragged to Hell. Luckily, those jokes about lawyers and Hell are pretty accurate. After a lengthy court case downstairs, I’ve been released on Hell’s very first work-release program with a time limit and a quota. All I have to do is hunt down and kill the things that go bump in the night.

A woman expects her boyfriend to pop the question at dinner, only it’s not the question she expected. A girl finds a game board with frightening results. A young woman must fight off an attacker who has a surprising motive for his crime. The painting of a mother's dead son haunts her. A young wife wants to surprise her husband but it doesn’t turn out as she hoped. Or does it? This book of stories, poems, and other writings by the author of the Twigs series and the Detective Tony Pantera series will delight and frighten as well as make the reader ponder life's way of throwing us a curve ...

Our narrator produces a sound from the piano no one else at the Conservatory can. She employs a technique she learned from her parents—also talented musicians—who fled China in the wake of the Cultural Revolution. But when an accident leaves her parents debilitated, she abandons her future for a job at a high-end beauty and wellness store in New York City.

Nilanjana Sikdar is an outsider to the town of Night Vale. Working for Carlos, the town's top scientist, she relies on fact and logic as her guiding principles. But all of that is put into question when Carlos gives her a special assignment investigating a mysterious rumbling in the desert wasteland outside of town. This investigation leads her to the Joyous Congregation of the Smiling God and to Darryl, one of its most committed members.

After discovering and embracing her role in the story, Sunny works as a professional final girl for the Giallo Project taking down maniac slashers so they can be shipped away to Psycho Island. While the work is bloody and often painful, Sunny is good at it, and she rests easy knowing that, as the major character, she is in relatively little danger. Her biggest worry is that her story is growing stale. That all changes, however, when a new character is introduced; Dakota Bleu is everything Sunny is not, and when the two are paired up for a challenging mission, Sunny wonders if her time in ...

Damian Stockwell was raised from birth to be a force for good. Trained to combat the evils of the world and blessed with the physique of a demigod, he travels the globe on a quest to confront evil and punch it in the face. At his disposal is a vast fortune, an endless array of gadgets, and an army of loyal allies. The year is 1937. A mysterious curse has possessed Stockwell's friend, and nothing will stop him from dishing out justice one fist at a time. From the bowels of the darkest jungle to the armpit of the Statue of Liberty, there is no place that evil can hide from Damian Stockwell.