Humorous Horror

During an upturn in the economy, faced with a downturn in the soul buying business, The Devil resorts to telemarketing.

DETECTIVE ANGEL IS DETERMINED TO DO THE BEST JOB POSSIBLE FOR HIS CLIENTS, EVEN IF THEY ARE SUPERNATURAL BEINGS! AND DO THEY EVER NEED HELP. A TREASURE CHEST OF MONSTERS NO DETECTIVE SHOULD EVER HAVE TO FIGHT, LET ALONE HELP. SIX URBAN FANTASY MYSTERIES THAT TEST THE LIMITS OF COURAGE…AND OF SELF RESTRAINT WHO WILL NEED EVERY BIT OF BOTH TO SURVIVE THE FEMALE MONSTERS HE’S HELPING. HUMBUG AND THE UNICORN BLUE DEVIL KITTY BLACK HAWK DOWN LONELY HEARTS VAMPIRE CLUB THE GODDESS MONSTER THE EINSTEIN EQUATION

Special Price! For a Limited Time: Only .99 cents - Regular Price $2.99 - Save two bucks while offer lasts! Bryce’s girlfriend’s best friend makes him an offer he can’t refuse… Now all he has to do is find a way to accept her offer - and not get caught! What can when the LAST thing he wants to happen HAPPENS? The Offer: excerpt: Bryce gets an offer he can’t refuse - “Ahhh, I must’ve fallen asleep,” she said drowsily, suppressing a little yawn. “Why didn’t you wake me?” “You were sleeping so peacefully, I thought you could use the rest after your hard day,” I lied. ...

My name is Frank Moon, and I’m in way over my head. We’ve settled in Sanctuary, a neighborhood on the edge of Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Having endured gut-wrenching emotional trials and hordes of inhuman enemies, I’ve rapidly become the leader of a small, yet ever-growing, community of survivors. With supplies thinning, I reluctantly agree to return to town for the first time in weeks. My wife and I run into more than just a multitude of murderous monsters. We’re forced into a war between two well-armed human factions. One of the parties is hellbent on claiming Gatlinburg for ...

Jaunty the Clown just wants to entertain families with lighthearted slapstick antics, but people think of clowns as terrifying, nightmarish creatures who hide in closets or under beds. When Jaunty, along with his fellow performers, are fired from the circus, they're told that the world just doesn't like clowns anymore. Still, clowns have to eat. And since these clowns don't eat children, to make ends meet they're eventually forced to take a job in a popular haunted attraction, the Mountain of Terror. But millions of oversized spiders are about to invade....

An old Gypsy warns a farmer that he has the mark of the wolf. The Baron allows his son to take a holiday and then invites the wrong person into his giant castle. Nothing ever goes right for the Count, and he gets no respect. Eric fears werewolves, but it's his father he should fear. When classic horror meets tongue-in-cheek parody, the result is The Wood Chucker, a tale full of fond digs at the horror genre. Young heroes Woody, Sean, and Nellie span continents to team up with each other, and Karen, a reluctant Vampire set on revenge against the inept Vampire who turned her. Along the way, ...

The Zombie Apocalypse Call Center Boxset # 1 is a collection of the following books The Zombie Apocalypse Convenience Store The Zombie Apocalypse Call Center Secret Missions of the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center Rebels of the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center WHO ARE YOU GOING TO CALL, TO HELP YOU SURVIVE THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE? Sam thinks his job at the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center is a joke. Zombies aren’t real and the customers who call in for support about their guns and conspiracy theories are crazy! Sam knows the zombie apocalypse will never happen. Until the day it does happen… Now ...

In this story from the novel, “SuperHero – Retirement”, amidst an alien invasion, a retired, married, SuperHero couple has a “moment” only a retired, married, SuperHero couple could. "I retire. You give my SuperSuits to GoodWill. You retire, you buy new ones. Babe, we're on a fix income."

In this short story from the novel “SuperHero – Retirement”, a recently retired SuperHero gives a young SuperHero lessons on humility.

Sophie Sweet is a game programmer who adores three things: writing code; Doritos Surprise, the one thing she can cook; and her ride-or-die BFF Jodie Edwards. And only those three. To Sophie, people are a lousy bunch of jackasses who lie and leave when you need them most, so why bother? That goes double for "love," a ridiculous fairy tale sold to women to keep them subjugated and cooking things besides Doritos Surprise, which is madness. Sophie and Jodie have a tradition of getting their fortunes read at the carnival, but this year there's a new surprise in town-Tiffani the Psychic. The ...

As the title states, The Fiend in His Own Form is a satirical political allegory related in the form of a vampire story. Joshua Hauley is a washed-up middle-aged lout who lets his hormones do the thinking for him one too many times. The encounter makes him a vampire, and his murderous rampage attracts the attention of one Detective Morticia Karljice of the St. Louis Police department. We soon find that her determination to apprehend Hauley is not strictly civic minded. Karljice must negotiate the wavering line between doing her duty as a police officer and protecting secret interests of her...

Following on the heels of Robert Brockway's comedic horror novel The Unnoticeables, The Empty Ones reveals the next chapter in the lives of a few misfits attempting to fight back against the mysterious Unnoticeables. The Empty Ones follows Carey and Randall to London where they go to rescue Gus and fight more of these mysterious angel-like creatures, and stumble on a powerful and unexpected ally.

A tale of the old west. a tale of love, loss, and redemption. It's sheriff Chucky's wedding day. ( The Rock Chucker ). A day he plans to hang up his badge and rock belt. Then suddenly a bad man who's timing sucks, seeks revenge on The Rock Chucker. As Chucky prepares for the fight of his life at high noon, he is unaware of an evil that's devouring the town he loves. Hour by hour chucky must race against time to try to save his town and the woman he loves. As the horror spread's Chucky must join forces with an unlikely band of hero's. A bad girl with a heart of gold, who dreams of someday ...

When Bonnie Grayduck relocates from sunny Santa Cruz California to the small town of Lake Woebegotten, Minnesota, to live with her estranged father, chief of the local two-man police department, she thinks she's leaving her troubles behind. But she soon becomes fascinated by another student - the brooding, beautiful Edwin Scullen, whose reclusive family hides a terrible secret. (Psst: they're actually vampires. But they're the kind who don't eat people, so it's okay.)

What is it that’s so bad about a man’s marriage that he is driven to commit the perfect murder? Why is a gambler’s fate sealed when messages from the future give him the names of winning horses? Will a psychic be able to help the desperate parents of a kidnapped child? These are just a few of the stories in this collection of bite-sized tales which include ghostly goings-on, out-of-this-world visitations, murder, the paranormal, fantasy, nostalgia and much, much more. Author Anthony Talmage escorts us through a rollickingly enjoyable collection of stories for grown-ups

Meet the new, improved Andrew Mayhem. He has a real job. He’s a better father and husband. And he’s vowed to quit accepting money from strange women in coffee shops to perform tasks that go terribly, terribly wrong. This time, he’s just taking a relaxing camping trip with his family and best friend. No shortcuts. The gas tank is full. The sinister warning of the crazy old man is taken seriously. Unfortunately, when you’re Andrew Mayhem, you just can’t help being attacked by a group of savage killers bent on inflicting ghastly torture and bringing horrific death.

Nate Temple has gotten away with a lot in recent years: cow-tipping the Minotaur, decimating a gang of weredragons, sucker punching angels, and eating pancakes with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. He’s kidnapped one of the most powerful wizards on the planet and slaughtered the Brothers Grimm. Lady Luck has been very good to Nate Temple…until now. Nate's good fortune has turned, catching the attention of a recruiter - the kind of person who offers jobs that can’t be refused.

What is truth when nothing is real Hidden away in the Gulf of Mexico lies an island with a dark past. Once a haven for bootleggers and outlaws, Oyster Island now hosts the renovated Majestic Hotel & Casino. It’s not only the living that calls this place home. Ghosts, ghouls, and creatures of the night roam freely, haunting the island’s residents and visitors. One fateful night, a magical flying unicorn visits Odette Mouton and takes her on a wild ride to the island’s backside, where she discovers a time portal. Guided by a time-walking calico cat, she embarks on a journey that blurs ...

When her daughter Lotte was born, Dani had welcomed the chance to be a stay-at-home mother. To be good at something, for once. But now Dani can’t stop thinking about her seemingly healthy husband, Clark, dropping dead. Not because she hates him (not right now, anyway) but because it’s become abundantly clear to Dani that if he dies, she and Lotte will be left destitute. And then Dani discovers The Temple.

Words of a Feather is a stunning collection of Short Stories, Poems and Sketches from author, Robert E. Kearns. There's something inside for every taste, and Words of a Feather comes packed with hours of reading pleasure. Replete with entertainment, there is sure to be laughs, tears, spills and thrills. Satisfying pleasures of the mind, Words of a Feather is a book you'll want to read again and again.