Humorous Horror

December 1874. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are looking forward to a traditional Christmas with plenty of food, alcohol, and the odd duel. But then Death meets Elizabeth, a young girl with unusual gifts, who needs their protection. When other children start going missing throughout London and the Prime Minister himself asks for their help, they have to put down the brandy and mince pies to solve the mystery while—as usual—saving the world from an unspeakable horror.

No One Likes a Tease… But Who’s Teasing?! Jess is the kind of brat who never gives up once she wants something. So she teases the man of the house for weeks with the intention of gradually wearing him down. With all that she’s up to she wonders how long he can hold out before he takes her unprotected and doesn’t hold back! One sunny afternoon by the pool and she gets him right where she wants him! A Hot Brat Quickie! Kindle Unlimited members read for FREE!

The riveting debut work from celebrated newcomer Lish McBride, Hold Me Closer, Necromancer drops a seemingly average boy into the adventure of a lifetime. Sam can’t complain about much, even if his job isn’t the most glamorous one around. But his world gets a whole lot more complicated when he crosses paths with Douglas, a necromancer who gets paid to raise the dead. Douglas thinks Sam might have the right touch for necromancing, and when this turns out to be all too true, Sam faces unimaginable dangers.

Not every door stays closed. Not every whisper is the wind. Not every nightmare ends when you wake up... "Scary Stories That Will Make You Sh17 Yourself"* is a darkly twisted, laugh-out-loud horrifying collection of 40 original short stories that will crawl under your skin—and linger. Each tale stands on its own, plunging readers into haunted houses, cursed objects, shadowy figures, twisted games, and creatures that defy explanation. But don’t expect your typical campfire tales. These stories are soaked in atmosphere, fueled by dread, and served with a wicked grin. Perfect for fans of ...

OMG! My Best Friend’s Hot Dad has His Whole Hand In My Tight Pink Hole! My doctor and I share a little secret… When I need a physical exam in a hurry for my summer job on break from college, my best friend’s dad volunteers. Good thing he’s a doctor. Of course he has other ideas… and so do I. He has wanted his way with me for a while now… and I’ve been dreaming about my best friend’s handsome dad… an experienced older man… taking me hard, rough and unprotected! The last thing I want is him pulling out… I want him to finish deep and inside! Maybe now we can both get what...

From the best-selling author of the Sandman Slim series, a lush, dark, stand-alone fantasy built off the insurgent tradition of China Mieville and M. John Harrison - a subversive tale that immerses us in a world where the extremes of bleakness and beauty exist together in dangerous harmony in a city on the edge of civility and chaos. The Great War is over. The city of Lower Proszawa celebrates the peace with a decadence and carefree spirit as intense as the war’s horrifying despair.

Here you have found a book so foul, so repulsive, so horrifying...that you will undoubtedly find yourself running to the nearest bathroom in an effort to both relieve your bowels and scrub your hands clean of its putrid filth. They have finally released this humorous collection of terrifying tales, despite the bitter public outcry which demanded these pages never see the light of day...and perhaps for good reason.

As the Patron’s noose tightens down around the House of Graves, Tessa finds herself seeking the aid of Thomas Jury, a witch who’s powerful beyond measure and just as dangerous. But even with Jury’s so called 'help', will the Patron’s power prove too much for Tessa to withstand?

Maurice Allington has reached middle age and is haunted by death. As he says, “I honestly can’t see why everybody who isn’t a child, everybody who’s theoretically old enough to have understood what death means, doesn’t spend all his time thinking about it. It’s a pretty arresting thought.” He also happens to own and run a country inn that is haunted. The Green Man opens as Maurice’s father drops dead (had he seen something in the room?) and continues as friends and family convene for the funeral.

All Cadence wanted was a one-night sleep, but when he slept, he fought demons in his dreams. They were demons that terrorized the human world. In his battles, he would use his sword called Ethereal to send them back to hell, where they had escaped from. But now the demons were quiet. They were no longer in his dreams. The demons are now attacking him on earth, letting him know the blue-purple flame is coming for him. Cadence stumbles on an ancient three-headed dagger from his past. The three witches are using the dagger to kill young women, collecting their blood. Why do they need the blood...

Encounter an extraordinary world of mystery, magic, and romance with "The Legend of Tarn & Beck" short story collection. Tarn and Beck, armed with intellect and courage, unravel a Sherlock Holmes mystery and confront enigmatic vampires at a dinner party. Amidst the intrigue, Tarn harbors a powerful magical force—the elfin light—yet remains oblivious to its origins. Their journey takes a thrilling turn when Beck is kidnapped and Tarn tries to save him with help from Jobe & Paracleus. Theo discovers a necromancer’s grimoire, fearing the involvement of Garth, an exorcist haunted by ...

As a detective, he was excellent. As a man who can tell real love from fantasy...not so much. But what makes it worse is the ones he falls in love with... Are monsters... And clients! How can a young man like him make so many mistakes like that and survive? Well, he just might not this time. Just because a woman looks like an angel, and acts like an angel...doesn't mean she isn't the devil in disguise!

As the title states, The Fiend in His Own Form is a satirical political allegory related in the form of a vampire story. Joshua Hauley is a washed-up middle-aged lout who lets his hormones do the thinking for him one too many times. The encounter makes him a vampire, and his murderous rampage attracts the attention of one Detective Morticia Karljice of the St. Louis Police department. We soon find that her determination to apprehend Hauley is not strictly civic minded. Karljice must negotiate the wavering line between doing her duty as a police officer and protecting secret interests of her...

On June 1, 2017, six people were killed at a Burger City franchise off I-80 near Jonny, Iowa. It was the bizarre and gruesome conclusion to nine months of alleged paranormal activity at the fast-food joint—events popularly known as “the Burger City Poltergeist.” The story inspired Facebook memes, Twitter hashtags, Buzzfeed listicles, Saturday Night Live sketches, and more. But the case was never much more than a punchline…until bestselling writer Daniel Kraus (The Shape of Water, The Living Dead) decided to head to Iowa to dig up what really happened.

Bigfoot is real. That's what primatologist Dr. Sarah Bishop's father told her before his academic disgrace and untimely death. Now, Sarah is eager to restore her father's good name. Survival show host Russ Cloud is just as eager to boost his plummeting ratings. They'll both have a shot at redemption when they find themselves hired by eccentric billionaire Cameron Carson. After a series of his publicity stunts end in spectacular failure, Carson has a plan to redeem his tarnished image: capture a live Sasquatch.

James Stark, aka Sandman Slim, has managed to get out of Hell, renounce his title as the new Lucifer, and settle back into life in L.A. But he also lost the Qomrama Om Ya, an all-powerful weapon from the banished older gods. Older gods who are returning and searching for their lost power. The hunt leads Stark to an abandoned shopping mall - a global shopping paradise infested with Lurkers and wretched bottom-feeding Sub Rosa families, squatters who have formed tight tribes to guard their tiny patches of retail wasteland.

In this fast-paced sequel to The Everything Box - the second entry in New York Times best-selling author Richard Kadrey's comedic supernatural series - chaos ensues when Coop and the team at DOPS steal a not-quite-dead and very lovesick ancient Egyptian mummy wielding some terrifying magic. Coop, a master thief sort of gone legit, saved the world from an ancient doomsday device - heroism that earned him a gig working for the Department of Peculiar Science.

In the fourth installment of The Black Knight Chronicles, Jimmy Black is having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and a darned fine pity party, serving the finest alcohol, when a call from his not-quite-girlfriend-cop forces him to sober up and stare at jawbones. "Cold case" takes on a whole new meaning when vampire detectives risk life and limbs (literally) to connect a series of decades-old kidnappings in Charlotte with current missing persons cases. All clues lead through the veil of Faerieland to the legendary Goblin's Market, a magical bazaar where anything is available--for a price. The boys can barely stay out of trouble in Charlotte. As fresh meat at The Market, they'll be lucky to survive the day.

Someone Has Been Watching Me… But who? And why? And what does this stranger - or strangers - want? Be the First to Read Lakelyn’s First Expanded Standalone Story: Excerpt: I needed to tell someone... "Lizzie, sometimes I think someone's out there, you know, watching me whenever I go out, when I leave home, even on my way to the grocery or work. I just feel like someone is looking at me, maybe even following me!" "Really?" I could see the disbelief in her narrowed eyes. "Have you told your dad?" My dad is a police officer. After my mom died, it was just the two of us. He finally let me ...

Evil has arrived in the capital...and she's looking to go shopping. After a startling vision and an uninvited visit from a rival lich, Maud sets off for the city to prepare for war. Leaving a trail of deboned corpses in her wake, this simple country lich solves a few murders, commits a few more, and discovers along the way that some things are worth dying for. Again. Maud’s heart may have stopped beating long ago, but she is determined to live her new "life" to the fullest. Featuring necrotic crafting, neurotic knitting, two naughty crows, and one very haunted castle.