Humorous Horror

All I want for My Birthday is…? What do you get a brat who has everything she wants... Except you? All Madison wants for her eighteenth birthday is to have her step be her first. But so far, he has resisted everything she can do to seduce him… except one thing that she noticed when she was semi-asleep. When Mady falls asleep watching TV with her step, she discovers his weakness for her… and she schemes to use that to get him right where she wants him…Never has a brat had to work so hard on her own birthday to get the one thing she really wants: birthday sex! Mady comes up with a ...

Filled with action, romance, and humor, Pure of Heart is a fantasy thrill ride into a land filled with wonder and excitement. Orphaned and alone, rogue-teen Dean Walker has learned how to take care of himself on the rough city streets. Unjustly wanted by the police, he takes refuge within the shadows of the city. When Dean stumbles upon an old man being mugged, he tries to help—only to discover that the victim is anything but helpless and far more than he appears. The old man claims to be from Kish another world that’s being destroyed. He’s traveled through a portal called the middle ...

It doesn't take long for DeeDee, Lloyd, and Kevin to figure out that living with the angel of death isn't easy. Lost souls. Angry exes. Ancient curses. Will the grim reaper ever get his afterlife together? The outlook is not so good. The reaper isn't the only angel who's out of sorts. Lloyd's devilish boss Faust hasn't been the same since a tentacle monster spit him out of an alternate dimension, and his ex-girlfriend tried to start the zombie apocalypse. And Angel eight ball? He's having a hell of a time juggling a terrible new boss and saving Lloyd from eternal damnation.

A mysterious red door has appeared inside 24/7 Demon Mart, but when Lloyd opens it and steps in, nothing happens. Nothing bad, at least. He finds a lost room filled with treasures so good, so perfect, it seems like the Demon Mart crew's wishes have all come true. Kevin finds the solution to his mid-afterlife crisis and his roommate problems. Faust finds a renewed interest in the carnal delights of earth. Lloyd, dead tired from fighting off angry poltergeists, finally gets the one thing he so desperately desires: A nap. DeeDee? Well, she's just angry. Really, really angry.

At any given moment, the human body contains millions of parasites. This is the story of just one. A really, really nasty one. Benjamin Wilson was having a lousy month even before the stomach pains began. He was about to turn 40. One of his students had been shot while on a homicidal meat cleaver rampage. And, shortly after the funeral, Benjamin didn't feel so good.... Now, everything is changing. His body is being affected in some very unpleasant ways.

Felix as far as he can remember has never been anything else than a humorous talking skeleton. He's been living with Alicia Whiimblebright, a thirty-ish-year-old witch of Cuban descent, and Augustus a banished reaper. Life is good for Felix until he asks Alicia to place him in her store, Patchouli Mystical Tesoros Shop. He figured since he only comes to life at night, no one will see him watching the residents of Wisterious Bay. Against her better judgment, Alicia agrees to let Felix stand by the window of her shop for a week. Little does she know that a lot can happen in a week. A few days...

According to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (the world's only completely accurate book of prophecies, written in 1655, before she exploded), the world will end on a Saturday. Next Saturday, in fact. Just before dinner. So the armies of Good and Evil are amassing, Atlantis is rising, frogs are falling, tempers are flaring. Everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan.

In the summer of 1987, StarBright Shopping Mall is the place to be—until a masked killer with a bizarre fixation on butts turns it into a slaughtering ground. As the booty count rises, panic spreads faster than parachute pants on an ironing board. With a mix of laugh-out-loud humor and spine-chilling terror, this book will keep you on the edge of your seat, wondering, “Why did anyone write this?” and “Is my butt truly safe?”

Stephanie's uncle Gordon is a writer of horror fiction. But when he dies and leaves her his estate, Stephanie learns that, while he may have written horror, it certainly wasn't fiction. Pursued by evil forces intent on recovering a mysterious key, Stephanie finds help from an unusual source, the wisecracking skeleton of a dead wizard.

Tom is fascinated with bones, human bones. He wants to study them and gets his chance when Mr. Dukes allows him to dig in the vacant lot behind his store. What Tom unearths makes the neighborhood kids tremble with fear. "Ally ally oxen free!" These four little words can bring anyone out of hiding.

Nilanjana Sikdar is an outsider to the town of Night Vale. Working for Carlos, the town's top scientist, she relies on fact and logic as her guiding principles. But all of that is put into question when Carlos gives her a special assignment investigating a mysterious rumbling in the desert wasteland outside of town. This investigation leads her to the Joyous Congregation of the Smiling God and to Darryl, one of its most committed members.

Patrick Bateman is 26 and works on Wall Street. He is handsome, sophisticated, charming, and intelligent. He is also a psychopath. And he is taking us to a head-on collision with America's greatest dream - and its worst nightmare...

Bret Ellis, the narrator of Lunar Park, is the bestselling writer whose first novel Less Than Zero catapulted him to international stardom while he was still in college. In the years that followed he found himself adrift in a world of wealth, drugs, and fame, as well as dealing with the unexpected death of his abusive father.

Not every door stays closed. Not every whisper is the wind. Not every nightmare ends when you wake up... "Scary Stories That Will Make You Sh17 Yourself"* is a darkly twisted, laugh-out-loud horrifying collection of 40 original short stories that will crawl under your skin—and linger. Each tale stands on its own, plunging readers into haunted houses, cursed objects, shadowy figures, twisted games, and creatures that defy explanation. But don’t expect your typical campfire tales. These stories are soaked in atmosphere, fueled by dread, and served with a wicked grin. Perfect for fans of ...

In the aftermath of a family tragedy, an aspiring author is torn between love for her childhood friend, and the temptation of a mysterious outsider. Trying to escape the ghosts of her past, she is swept away to a house that breathes, bleeds...and remembers.

Grandpappy is on hospice. Charles is going mad. Vile happenings are abound. You, listener, are not prepared. This is your lesson in depravity. Warning! This is an extreme horror novella. Very few triggers are left unpulled.

When horror writer Nick Steen gets sucked into a cursed typewriter by the terrifying Type-Face, Dark Lord of the Prolix, the hellish visions inside his head are unleashed for real. Forced to fight his escaping imagination - now leaking out of his own brain - Nick must defend the town of Stalkford from his own fictional horrors, including avascular-necrosis-obsessed serial killer Nelson Strain and Nick's dreaded throppleganger, the Dark Third.

The Headless Horseman. Everyone knows the legend. That’s all it is, right? When a third headless victim is found on Boston’s streets, Chloe Mayfield is tasked with finding the person behind the crime spree – no one else wants a case this weird. It would be easy to dismiss the murders as nothing more than the random acts of a madman with a cosplay fetish, but when her investigations lead her to the morgue, she comes face to face with an apparition she cannot explain. Throw in the stalker-like attentions of a deranged clown, dangerous interactions with the Salem witches, and an enemy ...

A darkly satirical novel of love, revenge, and 1950s haute couture - now a major motion picture starring Kate Winslet, Judy Davis, Liam Hemsworth, and Hugo Weaving. After 20 years spent mastering the art of dressmaking at couture houses in Paris, Tilly Dunnage returns to the small Australian town she was banished from as a child. She plans only to check on her ailing mother and leave. But Tilly decides to stay, and though she is still an outcast, her lush, exquisite dresses prove irresistible to the prim women of Dungatar.

Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. This is not a metaphor. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fearmongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fearmongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection - the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That’s just as well, since the “cure” involves learning what a chain saw tastes like. You can’t feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings.