Humorous Horror

Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. This is not a metaphor. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fearmongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fearmongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection - the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That’s just as well, since the “cure” involves learning what a chain saw tastes like. You can’t feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings.

Out of work for months, Lussi Meyer is desperate to work anywhere in publishing. Prestigious Blackwood-Patterson isn’t the perfect fit, but a bizarre set of circumstances leads to her hire and a firm mandate: Lussi must find the next horror superstar to compete with Stephen King, Anne Rice, and Peter Straub. It’s the ’80s, after all, and horror is the hottest genre. But as soon as she arrives, Lussi finds herself the target of her coworkers’ mean-spirited pranks.

Johannes Cabal, a brilliant scientist and notorious snob, is single-mindedly obsessed in heart and soul with raising the dead. Well, perhaps not soul.... He hastily sold his years ago in order to learn the laws of necromancy. But now, tormented by a dark secret, he travels to the fiery pits of Hell to retrieve it. Satan, who is incredibly bored these days, proposes a little wager: Johannes has one year to persuade 100 people to sign over their souls, or he will be damned forever.

Book one of the fantasy horror trilogy, with lashings of British humour. Philip awakes, naked and chained to the floor by wrist and ankle, in the ramshackle dwelling of a family of murderous inbreds. His only hope of rescue lies with Matilda, their hideously deformed and needy daughter, who lurks in the shadows in her bloodied wedding dress. But what will she require of him in return? Matilda has lived in the darkness all her life. Finally, an Outsider has appeared, a man who - with a little good-natured prodding - can save her from her brutal father and show her what life is like outside ...

Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.

As the daughter of Dracula, you would think I’d be born the perfect monster. You couldn’t be more wrong. As far as monsters go, I’m a screw up—if I’m not tripping over my own feet, I’m accidentally murdering someone (it’s a real issue, guys). Left with no choice, Dad decides to send me to Prodigium—otherwise known as Monster Academy—to train me on how to be a better monster. When bodies turn up on campus, I’m the prime suspect (not that I can blame them).

An old Gypsy warns a farmer that he has the mark of the wolf. The Baron allows his son to take a holiday and then invites the wrong person into his giant castle. Nothing ever goes right for the Count, and he gets no respect. Eric fears werewolves, but it's his father he should fear. When classic horror meets tongue-in-cheek parody, the result is The Wood Chucker, a tale full of fond digs at the horror genre. Young heroes Woody, Sean, and Nellie span continents to team up with each other, and Karen, a reluctant Vampire set on revenge against the inept Vampire who turned her. Along the way, ...

STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?

Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk is a novel made up of stories: 23 of them, to be precise. Twenty-three of the most horrifying, hilarious, mind-blowing, stomach-churning tales you'll ever encounter, sometimes all at once. They are told by people who have answered an ad headlined "Writers' Retreat: Abandon Your Life for Three Months", and who are led to believe that here they will leave behind all the distractions of "real life" that are keeping them from creating the masterpiece that is in them.

Felix as far as he can remember has never been anything else than a humorous talking skeleton. He's been living with Alicia Whiimblebright, a thirty-ish-year-old witch of Cuban descent, and Augustus a banished reaper. Life is good for Felix until he asks Alicia to place him in her store, Patchouli Mystical Tesoros Shop. He figured since he only comes to life at night, no one will see him watching the residents of Wisterious Bay. Against her better judgment, Alicia agrees to let Felix stand by the window of her shop for a week. Little does she know that a lot can happen in a week. A few days...

Nasty Bet ~ A Dirty Collection of Quick Short Stories For Adults Rough Erotic Tales From Brats, Daddy Dom, Hotwife, Age Gap, Old Men to MFM Threesome, Menage, Group, Ganged, Shared and Used 20 Hot Stories Plus Free Bonus Stories Included. Enjoy the read!

Summer 1977. The Blyton Summer Detective Club (of Blyton Hills, a small mining town in Oregon's Zoinx River Valley) solved their final mystery and unmasked the elusive Sleepy Lake monster - another low-life fortune hunter trying to get his dirty hands on the legendary riches hidden in Deboën Mansion. And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids.

There’s a voodoo woman in New Orleans who knows your darkest secrets French Quarter paranormal investigator Wyatt Thomas learns he’s permanently linked to the spirit of a man with whom he’d fought a duel during another lifetime. The only person who can free Wyatt from his curse is long-dead voodoo queen Marie Laveaux. To seek her help, he must travel back to Antebellum New Orleans, succeed in his endeavor, or be trapped in the past forever. When Wyatt meets his former lover at the Mulatto Ball, he doesn’t know if he wants to return. While Wyatt is time traveling, detective Tony ...

One loser, one talking cockroach, and one karate-chopping bombshell are all that stand between you and your wildest dreams—or certain death? Yeah. Probably certain death.

-Extraordinary encounters. Unexpected humor. Endless challenges. Life-threatening diseases. Unthinkable trauma.- Welcome to STAT: Crazy Medical Stories as told by the healthcare professionals themselves. From peculiar conditions and mysterious ailments to remarkable recoveries and perplexing medical mysteries, Stat: Crazy Medical Stories, draws from real-life accounts. Each chapter unveils crazy medical cases as narrated by the healthcare professionals themselves. The stories take you on a captivating journey across various disciplines, including general medicine, surgery, psychiatry, and ...

After battling drug and alcohol abuse and struggling to complete anything worthwhile, Jeremiah James is inspired by his anthropologist cousin, Chelsea, to pursue a childhood dream they shared: searching for Sasquatch. However, their expedition quickly turns perilous as they encounter something far more dangerous—an ancient, malevolent creature lurking in the deep, dark woods, hungry for flesh. Now, Jeremiah must summon all his strength and courage to do the impossible: fight a creature of legend if he and his cousin are to survive their nightmarish journey...

My name is Frank Moon, and my life is completely in the toilet. Most of my friends, along with a large portion of New York City, are dead following the arrival of a bizarre meteor. The otherworldly phenomena brought with it a sickness—a disease—the likes of which this planet has never seen. A nightmarish species of super predator was born that day, something I call the Unseen. But at least I still have Jill, though, it was close…really close. Now, my wife and I find ourselves back in our old stomping grounds of South Florida, hellbent on locating our parents. Sadly, our triumphant ...

It takes guys as simple as the Squid and Ogre to make a story this complicated... and they’d really rather be trucking.Good old boys, the Squid and Ogre are trucking cross country when a UFO crashes right in front of them. Against his better judgment, the Squid lets Ogre load it onto his flatbed, then the feds in black helicopters show up.Life gets a whole lot weirder when they find themselves on the run not only from the law but also from every manner of Lovecraftian horror imaginable. To top it off they also get a beautiful stowaway, named Shaurna, who may not be from their own universe...

Lorrie Moore’s first novel since A Gate at the Stairs—a daring, meditative exploration of love and death, passion and grief, and what it means to be haunted by the past, both by history and the human heart. A teacher visiting his dying brother in the Bronx. A mysterious journal from the nineteenth century stolen from a boarding house. A therapy clown and an assassin, both presumed dead, but perhaps not dead at all...

In this gloriously over-the-top tale, Aoyama, a widower who has lived alone with his son ever since his wife died seven years before, finally decides it is time to remarry. Since Aoyama is a bit rusty when it comes to dating, a filmmaker friend proposes that, in order to attract the perfect wife, they do a casting call for a movie they don't intend to produce. As the resumes pile up, only one of the applicants catches Aoyama's attention - Yamasaki Asami - a striking young former ballerina with a mysterious past. But she is a far cry from the innocent young woman he imagines her to be.