Humorous Horror

My name’s Bill Ryder and I’m having a hell of a week. Magic is back, my new roommate is a blob of yellow snot, and my friend Sally has been entombed alive in solid rock. Oh, and I’m dead again, or undead anyway. Life’s not quite finished taking a dump on me yet, because now something is hunting vampires in New York City. A smarmy-ass wizard has been called in to investigate – one who’s got a closet full of skeletons and eyes for my girlfriend.

Hot 6 Story Bundle! Be the First to Read the Bundle of Lakelyn Wilder & Jaden Fair Stories… Includes Lakelyn Wilder’s: Ganged At the Cabin Forced By Strangers ~ Book 1 Forced By Strangers ~ Book 2 Forced By Strangers ~ Book 3 Forced By Strangers ~ Book 4 Plus a Story By Jaden Fair: BIG Surprise for the Sitter 6 Stories Dripping With Delicious Suspense! Intimate explicit situations, backdoor, threesome, group, and more!

Everyone who's anyone wants to be seen at one of Emory Jackman's legendary parties, from royalty to politicians, tech billionaires to Instagram models. But something sinister is happening on Little Pearl. Journalist Sven Olsen has heard rumors about the Jackmans trafficking young girls, and a secret auction joined by the rich and famous. He's been invited under the pretense of writing a profile about Emory and his mysterious wife, Tess, and will do just about anything to get the scoop.

The Day Started Like Any Other… Except It was My Birthday! Be the First to Read Lakelyn’s Latest! I was all set to spend my birthday at the lake with my boyfriend. We’d lay in the sun, splash in the surf and end up in our favorite, secluded spot having sex in the outdoors… But that’s not exactly how the day went… the day took an unexpected turn… and the last thing I expected to happen… DID! Lakelyn Wilder’s latest solo story includes explicit sex, rough, group, backdoor and even MORE hot erotic suspense that drips off of every word! Approx. Length: 5000 words

The night after her father's funeral, Claire meets Lucas in a bar. Lucas doesn't know it, but it's not a chance meeting. One thoughtless mistyped email has put him in the crosshairs of an extremely put-out serial killer. But before they make eye contact, before Claire lets him buy her a drink—even before she takes him home and carves him up into little pieces—something about that night is very wrong. Because someone is watching Claire. Someone who is about to discover her murderous little hobby.

Seth Grahame-Smith delivers the definitive, essential guide to making it through a horror movie in one piece. As hilarious as it is useful (if you’re trapped in a scary flick, that is), How to Survive a Horror Movie covers all the bases. Trapped in a haunted house? Check. Stalked by an evil doll? Check. Wandering aimlessly through the remains of the old world as a plague of zombies sweeps over the planet? Check.

The Radleys is a moving, thrilling, and radiant domestic novel that explores with daring the lengths a parent will go to protect a child, what it costs you to deny your identity, the undeniable appeal of sin, and the everlasting, iridescent bonds of family love. Read it and ask what we grow into when we grow up, and what we gain - and lose - when we deny our appetites.

At any given moment, the human body contains millions of parasites. This is the story of just one. A really, really nasty one. Benjamin Wilson was having a lousy month even before the stomach pains began. He was about to turn 40. One of his students had been shot while on a homicidal meat cleaver rampage. And, shortly after the funeral, Benjamin didn't feel so good.... Now, everything is changing. His body is being affected in some very unpleasant ways.

All I want for My Birthday is…? What do you get a brat who has everything she wants... Except you? All Madison wants for her eighteenth birthday is to have her step be her first. But so far, he has resisted everything she can do to seduce him… except one thing that she noticed when she was semi-asleep. When Mady falls asleep watching TV with her step, she discovers his weakness for her… and she schemes to use that to get him right where she wants him…Never has a brat had to work so hard on her own birthday to get the one thing she really wants: birthday sex! Mady comes up with a ...

America’s most-read, most-watched, and most­ beloved serial killer - Dexter Morgan - is back. After selling more than one million copies and inspiring the wildly popular number one Showtime series and top-rated crime drama on pay-cable television, New York Times best-selling author Jeff Lindsay returns with his most hilarious, macabre, and purely entertaining novel yet. Dexter Morgan has always lived a happy homicidal life. He keeps his dark urges in check by adhering to one stead­fast rule...he only kills very bad people.

Not every door stays closed. Not every whisper is the wind. Not every nightmare ends when you wake up... "Scary Stories That Will Make You Sh17 Yourself"* is a darkly twisted, laugh-out-loud horrifying collection of 40 original short stories that will crawl under your skin—and linger. Each tale stands on its own, plunging readers into haunted houses, cursed objects, shadowy figures, twisted games, and creatures that defy explanation. But don’t expect your typical campfire tales. These stories are soaked in atmosphere, fueled by dread, and served with a wicked grin. Perfect for fans of ...

Another Melt Your Eyeballs It’s So Hot Bundle! Be the First to Read Lakelyn Wilder’s Newest Stories! 5 Story Bundle Includes & Bonus: Satisfy Me Deeply First Threesome With My BFF & His Best Friend Going Deep My First Time Plus Two More Wicked Hot Taboo Stories and a Bonus Story: Cherry Popping the Brat!

The story opens with our newly married protagonists, Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam Darcy, defending their village from an army of flesh-eating unmentionables. But the honeymoon has barely begun when poor Mr. Darcy is nipped by a rampaging dreadful. Elizabeth knows the proper course of action is to promptly behead her husband (and then burn the corpse, just to be safe). But when she learns of a miracle antidote under development in London, she realizes there may be one last chance to save her true love.

A darkly satirical novel of love, revenge, and 1950s haute couture - now a major motion picture starring Kate Winslet, Judy Davis, Liam Hemsworth, and Hugo Weaving. After 20 years spent mastering the art of dressmaking at couture houses in Paris, Tilly Dunnage returns to the small Australian town she was banished from as a child. She plans only to check on her ailing mother and leave. But Tilly decides to stay, and though she is still an outcast, her lush, exquisite dresses prove irresistible to the prim women of Dungatar.

Amy Foster considers herself lucky. After she left the city and went full minivan, she found her place quickly with neighbors Liz, Jess, and Melissa, together snarking the “Mom Mafia” from the outskirts of the PTA mom crowd. So, one night during their monthly wine get-together, the newfound crew concocts a plan for a clubhouse She Shed in Liz’s backyard—the perfect space for just them, no spouses or kids allowed.

In Sandman Slim Stark came back from hell for revenge. Once again all is not right in L.A. Lucifer is back in Heaven, God is on vacation, and an insane killer mounts a war against both Heaven and Hell. Stark’s got to head back down to his old stomping grounds in Hell to rescue his long lost love, stop an insane serial killer, prevent both Good and Evil from completely destroying each other, and stop the demonic Kissi from ruining the party for everyone. Even for Sandman Slim, that’s a tall order. And it’s only the beginning.

For the first time in a beautiful new edition, this omnibus will collect together the original official novelizations of both Ghostbusters 1 and 2.

In this terrifying and hilarious prequel, we witness the genesis of the zombie plague in early 19th-century England. We watch Elizabeth Bennet evolve from a nave young teenager into a savage slayer of the undead. We laugh as she begins her first clumsy training with nunchucks and katana swords and cry when her first blush with romance goes tragically awry.

Grandpappy is on hospice. Charles is going mad. Vile happenings are abound. You, listener, are not prepared. This is your lesson in depravity. Warning! This is an extreme horror novella. Very few triggers are left unpulled.

In the collection's marvelous title story, two aging vampires in a sun-drenched Italian lemon grove find their hundred-year marriage tested when one of them develops a fear of flying. In "The Seagull Army Descends on Strong Beach, 1979", a dejected teenager discovers that the universe is communicating with him through talismanic objects left in a seagull's nest. "Proving Up" and "The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis" find Russell veering into more sinister territory.