Humorous Horror

Alex Cole will do anything for money. Murder? Check. Assault? Check. Infanticide? Check. Sexual favors? Double-check. But after getting himself roped into something called Kuman Thong - including its roasted human fetuses - Cole is left fighting unfathomable phenomena beyond his comprehension and rather unexpectedly trying save the world. All for a lousy paycheck.

Nobody likes getting bullied, and Donny has had enough. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he solicits the help of the old Asian man at the end of his street to teach him Karate. During a grueling two days of training, Donny earns belt after belt, until he finally becomes a Karate Master.

Fed up with her wild behavior, 16-year-old Lex’s parents ship her off to upstate New York to live with her Uncle Mort for the summer, hoping that a few months of dirty farm work will whip her back into shape. But Uncle Mort’s true occupation is much dirtier than shoveling manure. He’s a Grim Reaper. And he’s going to teach Lex the family business. She quickly assimilates into the peculiar world of Croak, a town populated by reapers who deliver souls from this life to the next.

In the fourth installment of The Black Knight Chronicles, Jimmy Black is having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and a darned fine pity party, serving the finest alcohol, when a call from his not-quite-girlfriend-cop forces him to sober up and stare at jawbones. "Cold case" takes on a whole new meaning when vampire detectives risk life and limbs (literally) to connect a series of decades-old kidnappings in Charlotte with current missing persons cases. All clues lead through the veil of Faerieland to the legendary Goblin's Market, a magical bazaar where anything is available--for a price. The boys can barely stay out of trouble in Charlotte. As fresh meat at The Market, they'll be lucky to survive the day.

Dustin Graves has three days to live. The darkling mage has found himself in the company of scoundrels. Maybe that’s what Dustin deserves: a werewolf, a vampire, and a talking sword for teammates, and a rogue sorcerer as his mentor and master. But a doomsday cult has surfaced. Twelve mutilated bodies are found drowned in blood and in wine. The massacre stinks of both the divine and the supernatural. Worst of all, an ancient god sends Dust on a lethal mission, one he must complete in three days. The reward? He gets to live. Well...maybe.

The time is the early '80s. The characters go to the same schools and eat at the same restaurants. Their voices enfold us as seamlessly as those of DJs heard over a car radio. They have sex with the same boys and girls and buy from the same dealers. In short, they are connected in the only way people can be in that city.

Nate Temple has gotten away with a lot in recent years: cow-tipping the Minotaur, decimating a gang of weredragons, sucker punching angels, and eating pancakes with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. He’s kidnapped one of the most powerful wizards on the planet and slaughtered the Brothers Grimm. Lady Luck has been very good to Nate Temple…until now. Nate's good fortune has turned, catching the attention of a recruiter - the kind of person who offers jobs that can’t be refused.

Mason Dixon is a verified Internet celebrity. Yet his vlog is just a ruse to spread disinformation so he can secretly relocate endangered cryptids. But when Mason and his camera operator Emma find themselves on a dragon-like gowrow's bad side, calling cut won't save them. Can Mason save the endangered beasts before he becomes extinct?

Come with me on a journey into the dark distance. What will we find waiting? A wooden soldier that is much more than the toy it appears to be... A father who wants nothing more than the forgiveness of his abused son... The most tragic automobile accident in history... A trip to Mexico that is anything but a relaxing vacation... A tower with a valuable jewel that turns out to be not what's expected... A vampire who finds faith can come in many forms... An interplanetary outpost haunted by a rogue alien... A serial killing shaman who takes refuge in the most dangerous swamp on the planet, ...

Alex hates missing person’s cases. Unless they’re easy money. Anything is good when there’s easy money. Then there’s the delivery job. Get a box and hand deliver it to some rich jerk-off. Deal with another private investigator almost as skeezy as himself. And after all that there’s the Event. That’s sure to have a really, really, bad ending.

OMG! What is my doctor doing to me?! A Hard Exam in So Many Ways! But My Doctor Has a Dirty Little Secret ... that only he and I know about . . . I have a stranger’s hands all over me… and in me... and all the while there’s something I’m sure I should remember... My doctor has been restrained… tied to the exam table… and all the while I keep thinking he seems so familiar! Livvy is reminded of an incident that happened in her late teens when her then boyfriend wanted to do a full physical examination on her… and he played a little TRICK on her that she’s never forgotten Who ...

Nate is losing that last finger hold on his sanity: hallucinating and talking to creatures no one else can see. The demon inside of him is fighting for dominance, and only one of them can survive. But when Nate's extorted to rescue a chimera child from the Beast Master’s circus, his only option is to partner with his inner demon, risking his very soul. With allies turned enemies, the fae breathing down his neck, and a dangerous child’s life on the line, Nate must call upon new storybook legends to save his traitorous friends from becoming the Beast Master’s next victims.

While housesitting in a remote mountain location while on spring break, young coed Livvy gets an unexpected visitor . . . When a young housesitter turns the tables on an intruder… he’ll have met his match and anything goes! He wants her, but what happens when she decides she wants him EVEN MORE? He's a BIG man... and she has a BIG appetite - plus a BIG secret she's saving till the end. She's NOT the only one who gets a BIG surprise! What happens when these two collide you'll NEVER believe! Who will be owned? Novella. Apprx. 10,000 words. Includes BDSM explicit encounter… with surprise...

On the longest night of 1895, a terrible storm rages above Harewood Hall. Max, Markham and an injured Peterson are welcomed in by the Harewood family but quickly realise that the gathering is far from celebratory. For tonight marks the Ordeal of the Haunted Room. Every Harewood heir must endure one terrifying night alone in the Haunted Room before he can inherit the family seat. Legend says that ghosts will murder anyone who isn't the true heir. Francis Harewood's ordeal will begin at midnight and end at dawn, but it isn't long before everything goes horribly wrong.

La guerra ha estallado, la civilización oculta bajo el mundo humano está en feroz lucha. Guerreros, magos oscuros, monstruos de la infratierra, cadáveres revividos, todos entran en la batalla. Lina debe prepararse para pelear, mientras investiga dónde quedó Gismundus e intenta evadir una escalofriante profecía que apunta hacia ella. Nuevos personajes, humor negro, terror, aventuras, muertes inesperadas, misiones secretas y la esperanza del amor.

Werewolves and zombies and a gold-digger...hot damn! Cordelia Chase from Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Anita Blake.Lucy Hart has had enough! After six months of Walmart sales rack clothes and flipping burgers, the former mean-girl vows to climb her way back to the top.She connives her way into a sweet paycheck for posing as a rich bachelor’s fake fiancée. She doesn’t count on him being a werewolf, though, or that his crazy vampire girlfriend wants her dead.And then there's her own spanking new and utterly gross power: necromancy. Ewww!Better off Dead is the first book in Alice ...

OMG! My Best Friend’s Hot Dad has His Whole Hand In My Tight Pink Hole! My doctor and I share a little secret… When I need a physical exam in a hurry for my summer job on break from college, my best friend’s dad volunteers. Good thing he’s a doctor. Of course he has other ideas… and so do I. He has wanted his way with me for a while now… and I’ve been dreaming about my best friend’s handsome dad… an experienced older man… taking me hard, rough and unprotected! The last thing I want is him pulling out… I want him to finish deep and inside! Maybe now we can both get what...

In this dark and hilarious new adventure, Andrew has started up a private investigation business with his best friend Roger (slogan: "We Solve Weird Problems"). Since his options in life will become somewhat more limited after his wife Helen gives birth to triplets, it's his last-ditch effort to get out of being stuck with a corporate day job. One of their first clients is an attractive woman named Shirley. Keeping with the kind of luck Andrew has had his entire life, her problem is: "I think I may be a serial killer".

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Winner of the Nobelle Prize for Literature and the Wurlitzer Prize for nonfiction, Scott Telek’s film writing has never been matched by a computer or squirrel collective. Whether he’s being funny, insightful, provocative or merely engaging, Scott Telek’s movie writing is never boring. These reviews, culled from the acclaimed website he ran from 2015 to 2013, bring attention to under-appreciated cult gems and call out hidden themes in films we think we know. In these 38 movie reviews, Telek focuses less on whether a movie is “good” and considers everything equally as a work of ...