Humorous Horror

A smash-hit reality show is offering a lifetime of luxury to the one person living the world's worst life, and now everyone is out to prove just how bad they've got it. Want in? All you've got to do is accept ocular implants that let the whole world see life through your eyes, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Fortunately, there's still one person who hasn't lost faith in all humanity. The show's ever-smiling host is determined to wring some tiny bit of meaning out of this twisted competition and your unhappy existence.

For the first time in a beautiful new edition, this omnibus will collect together the original official novelizations of both Ghostbusters 1 and 2.

Here you have found a book so foul, so repulsive, so horrifying...that you will undoubtedly find yourself running to the nearest bathroom in an effort to both relieve your bowels and scrub your hands clean of its putrid filth. They have finally released this humorous collection of terrifying tales, despite the bitter public outcry which demanded these pages never see the light of day...and perhaps for good reason.

In the town of Name Pending, Wyoming, Elijah Potbury does brisk business as the territory's only practicing necromancer. For a reasonable fee, he'll raise any friend or family member. Stories contained in this third volume: "A Long Way From Name Pending": A traveler from the future is shot and killed in the town of Name Pending, leaving behind a small triangular prism containing a composite of all the collected known knowledge of the twenty-second century. Mr. Seven and most of the townspeople will seemingly stop at nothing to possess it. "Subterranean Sojourn": Mr. Seven journeys deep ...

VHS Killed the LITRPG Star As a fan of everything 1980, 26-year-old Doug Simpson never had the chance to experience the decade. Working at a small-town video rental store, he dreams of being able to enter the horror king Rd Halen's movies and become the hero he has always dreamed about. Then he learns that his two friends working in the basement might just able to make that possible. FBI Special Agent Jenny Winters is looking for a career advancement, and taking down the suspected terrorist working at Vorhees Video may be able to do just that. Working undercover, Jenny is told of Doug's ...

Everyone who's anyone wants to be seen at one of Emory Jackman's legendary parties, from royalty to politicians, tech billionaires to Instagram models. But something sinister is happening on Little Pearl. Journalist Sven Olsen has heard rumors about the Jackmans trafficking young girls, and a secret auction joined by the rich and famous. He's been invited under the pretense of writing a profile about Emory and his mysterious wife, Tess, and will do just about anything to get the scoop.

”Guess what I just wagered? I put you up as the booty and I lost!!!” This is how I became an unintentional hotwife! My husband can be a real goof-off sometimes, and he can pull some real bonehead moves, I’ll tell you. His latest screw up on poker night really beats it all, tho. My loving husband decided to ante up with yours truly as the bet, and he LOST! So his two co-workers get a shot at me… both at the same time. I was already letting his boss have his way with me in our bedroom!!! So now I have THREE HOT MEN to PLEASE!!! I just can’t seem to resist big men… so… when my ...

The Headless Horseman. Everyone knows the legend. That’s all it is, right? When a third headless victim is found on Boston’s streets, Chloe Mayfield is tasked with finding the person behind the crime spree – no one else wants a case this weird. It would be easy to dismiss the murders as nothing more than the random acts of a madman with a cosplay fetish, but when her investigations lead her to the morgue, she comes face to face with an apparition she cannot explain. Throw in the stalker-like attentions of a deranged clown, dangerous interactions with the Salem witches, and an enemy ...

A beautiful, ambitious angel stands on a mountaintop, surveying the world and its little inhabitants below. He smiles because soon, the last of humanity who survived the great flood will meet its end, too. And he should know. He's going to play a big part in it. Our angel usually doesn't get to do fieldwork, and if he does well, he's certain he'll get a big promotion.

Burdened by debt after her husband's death, Lucy Muir insists on moving into the very cheap Gull Cottage in the quaint seaside village of Whitecliff, despite multiple warnings that the house is haunted. Upon discovering the rumors to be true, the young widow ends up forming a special companionship with the ghost of handsome former sea captain Daniel Gregg. Lucy finds in her secret relationship with Captain Gregg a comfort and blossoming love she never could have predicted.

In this gloriously over-the-top tale, Aoyama, a widower who has lived alone with his son ever since his wife died seven years before, finally decides it is time to remarry. Since Aoyama is a bit rusty when it comes to dating, a filmmaker friend proposes that, in order to attract the perfect wife, they do a casting call for a movie they don't intend to produce. As the resumes pile up, only one of the applicants catches Aoyama's attention - Yamasaki Asami - a striking young former ballerina with a mysterious past. But she is a far cry from the innocent young woman he imagines her to be.

In this wry take on the post-apocalyptic horror novel, a pandemic has devastated the planet. The plague has sorted humanity into two types: the uninfected and the infected, the living and the living dead. Now the plague is receding, and Americans are busy rebuild­ing civilization under orders from the provisional govern­ment based in Buffalo. Their top mission: the resettlement of Manhattan.

In the collection's marvelous title story, two aging vampires in a sun-drenched Italian lemon grove find their hundred-year marriage tested when one of them develops a fear of flying. In "The Seagull Army Descends on Strong Beach, 1979", a dejected teenager discovers that the universe is communicating with him through talismanic objects left in a seagull's nest. "Proving Up" and "The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis" find Russell veering into more sinister territory.

Someone Has Been Watching Me… But who? And why? And what does this stranger - or strangers - want? Be the First to Read Lakelyn’s First Expanded Standalone Story: Excerpt: I needed to tell someone... "Lizzie, sometimes I think someone's out there, you know, watching me whenever I go out, when I leave home, even on my way to the grocery or work. I just feel like someone is looking at me, maybe even following me!" "Really?" I could see the disbelief in her narrowed eyes. "Have you told your dad?" My dad is a police officer. After my mom died, it was just the two of us. He finally let me ...

In the fourth installment of The Black Knight Chronicles, Jimmy Black is having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and a darned fine pity party, serving the finest alcohol, when a call from his not-quite-girlfriend-cop forces him to sober up and stare at jawbones. "Cold case" takes on a whole new meaning when vampire detectives risk life and limbs (literally) to connect a series of decades-old kidnappings in Charlotte with current missing persons cases. All clues lead through the veil of Faerieland to the legendary Goblin's Market, a magical bazaar where anything is available--for a price. The boys can barely stay out of trouble in Charlotte. As fresh meat at The Market, they'll be lucky to survive the day.

My name’s Bill Ryder and five years ago I saved the world, banishing magic and monsters to the shadows. Not bad for a game programmer from New York. Anyway, I thought it was over, that I was done with all that supernatural crap. Too bad shit's about to get surreal again. Now the impossible has happened. My goddaughter is conjuring fireballs from thin air and two vampires have shown up at my doorstep looking to kick my ass.

A collection of stories: The Possessed Printer Blues: A woman buys a printer at a yard sale. The Long Day Sun: A photography student helps out a friend. Savory Taro Pudding: A short nightmare based on true events. Billionaire Babies: It turns out you can't trust billionaires. Bath Salts Vampire: Teen girls with low self-esteem + a drug dealer who thinks he's an ancient vampire. What could go wrong?

Tom is fascinated with bones, human bones. He wants to study them and gets his chance when Mr. Dukes allows him to dig in the vacant lot behind his store. What Tom unearths makes the neighborhood kids tremble with fear. "Ally ally oxen free!" These four little words can bring anyone out of hiding.

Failed RV salesman, William Bozwick, thought things could not get any worse, as he slipped into a world of quiet dejection. His only source of joy was applying makeup, putting on a costume and becoming ‘Bilbo the Clown’ to entertain the children at the local hospital. With the aid of an elderly, hotrod-driving nun known as Sister Sledge, he is given the ability to see into the spirit realm. What he sees puts him in a desperate struggle for the soul of a young girl. With no skills, no plan, and little hope, this failure of a man must stop powerful demonic forces from stealing her soul ...

It takes guys as simple as the Squid and Ogre to make a story this complicated... and they’d really rather be trucking.Good old boys, the Squid and Ogre are trucking cross country when a UFO crashes right in front of them. Against his better judgment, the Squid lets Ogre load it onto his flatbed, then the feds in black helicopters show up.Life gets a whole lot weirder when they find themselves on the run not only from the law but also from every manner of Lovecraftian horror imaginable. To top it off they also get a beautiful stowaway, named Shaurna, who may not be from their own universe...