Humorous Horror

In this short story from the novel “SuperHero – Retirement”, a recently retired SuperHero gives a young SuperHero lessons on humility.

Alex hates missing person’s cases. Unless they’re easy money. Anything is good when there’s easy money. Then there’s the delivery job. Get a box and hand deliver it to some rich jerk-off. Deal with another private investigator almost as skeezy as himself. And after all that there’s the Event. That’s sure to have a really, really, bad ending.

Min’s playing with fire—and probably her own life—when she ensnares a bloodthirsty vampire with her magics for one night of passion. But when she discovers he holds the key to finally solving her family's deadliest secret, can she keep a pack of werewolves, a crazy vampire ex-girlfriend, and the Fae Queen of Winter from slaughtering them all? Buy your copy now to find out! *Beware of spoilers in the reviews below that are without spoiler alerts* Review: These Vamps are yummy and sexy and O.M.G. hot to the tenth power. Someone tell me where I can get bitten and I am there... Amazon ...

Winner of the Nobelle Prize for Literature and the Wurlitzer Prize for nonfiction, Scott Telek’s film writing has never been matched by a computer or squirrel collective. Whether he’s being funny, insightful, provocative or merely engaging, Scott Telek’s movie writing is never boring. These reviews, culled from the acclaimed website he ran from 2015 to 2013, bring attention to under-appreciated cult gems and call out hidden themes in films we think we know. In these 38 movie reviews, Telek focuses less on whether a movie is “good” and considers everything equally as a work of ...

From the lightly-scented pen of Scott Telek, whose writing has been celebrated on seventeen continents, comes another hilarious and insightful look at horror movies brilliant, good, good-bad, bad, bad-good, and just plain godawful. You will laugh, gasp, convulse, grind, harumph and gesticulate as you read Telek’s straight-talk reviews that look past the supposed quality of the films under discussion to break down the more salient question: Is it worth watching? Here we have 36 movie reviews of films beginning with either the letters H or I. This includes the Halloween series, the Hostel ...

Bringing an insightful knowledge of film craft and his inimitable sense of humor to the analysis of films that maybe don’t deserve it is what Scott Telek chose to devote years of his life to. Here you will reap the fruits of his misguided enterprise as we cover 37 films in the horror genre, films that begin the letters N, O or P. Hilarious but intelligent, Telek’s writing results in movie reviews that are often more fun to read than watching the films themselves. In this volume we cover the killer-bunny classic Night of the Lepus, and have two films of the Nightmare on Elm Streetseries,...

Murders are happening outside Charlotte's hottest nightspots. A new vampire society has set up shop in the sewers. And Jimmy Black's about to run afoul of the Master of the City. If Jimmy weren't already a vampire, the week ahead would be the death of him.

Meet Andy Warner, a recently deceased everyman and newly minted zombie. Resented by his parents, abandoned by his friends, and reviled by a society that no longer considers him human, Andy is having a bit of trouble adjusting to his new existence. But all that changes when he goes to an Undead Anonymous meeting and finds a kindred soul in Rita, an impossibly sexy recent suicide with a taste for the formaldehyde in cosmetic products.

All Nick wants to do is take his dying father for a perfect father-son weekend in the Scottish Highlands. It’s not much to ask, is it? A log cabin, a roaring fire, a bottle of fine whiskey, and two days to paper over the cracks in their relationship. However, Nick didn’t plan on making the trip with a dead neighbour in the back of his car. Or the neighbour’s dog. He really didn’t plan on being pursued by a psychotic female assassin intent on collecting body parts.

What if you had to pretend to be a zombie to survive? Hanson’s been living like a zombie since the apocalypse, until he learns that his zombie crush is, like him, a human pretending to be a zombie.

From the madman who brought you Gleefully Macabre Tales, Dead Clown Barbecue, Everything Has Teeth, and Candy Coated Madness comes Jeff Strand’s latest and most twisted collection: Freaky Briefs.

Richard Milhous Nixon lived one of the most improbable lives of the 20th century. He faced down the Russians, the Chinese, and, ultimately, his own government. The man went from political mastermind to a national joke, sobbing in the Oval Office, leaving us with one burning question: How could he have lost it all? Here, for the first time, is the tale told in his own words: the terrifying supernatural secret he stumbled upon as a young man, the truth behind the Cold War, and the truth behind the Watergate cover-up.

"Cold case" takes on a whole new meaning when vampire detectives risk life and limbs (literally) to connect a series of decades-old kidnappings in Charlotte with current missing persons cases. All clues lead through the veil of Faerieland to the legendary Goblin's Market, a magical bazaar where anything is available - for a price.

The family that decays together, stays together. On a hot summer weekend in San Antonio, Texas, a father and son bond after discovering three impossible corpses buried in their backyard. From the author and screenwriter of We Need to Do Something comes a new novel of body horror and existential crises.

On the outside, luxury real estate agent Sarah Nelson looks like every other mom in the suburb. But she has an edge that others don’t: She’s a witch. And no one knows . . . except her estranged ex-coven and college friends, Katrina and Alicia. One terrible night during their freshman year, the trio accidentally burned down their dorm, and soon after they scattered. Their secret had been safe, until Sarah learns they’ve been invited back to commemorate the anniversary of the fire.

The zombie apocalypse has been good to Sarah and David. Their marriage is better than ever. They communicate well, share responsibilities, and now, they're starting a business. ZombieBusters-for all your zombie extermination needs. There are lots of zombies and that means lots of customers . . . Except one of them doesn't want the zombies dead; he wants them alive and ready for experimentation. Mad scientists make for difficult clients, and this time Sarah and David might have bitten off more than they can chew.

A new dark comedy series by the creator of DeathCreator! Shtulls had fought a bloody war for the human kingdom despite not being one himself. He watched his men die and struggled on until he beat the demonic emperor and returned home a hero. But on the eve of his medal ceremony, he encountered a being that changed his life for better or worse. Now he is cursed, poor, homeless, and without mana. His curse forces him to say or do whatever he thinks is the worst thing possible and has robbed him of his honor and dignity.

The Holy Bible, according to Matt Shaw. Taking the popular stories from the Bible and giving them a horror twist, this book is not intended to be used as a way of preaching your beliefs. God would probably frown down upon such usage, but if you wanted to put your feet up and chuckle along with some dark humor, then God would surely approve. For fans of the original book, this isn't for you. You won't like this. Don't listen to it. Don't be mad at me for writing it, though because, if you think about it, I am still getting the important stories out there. Kind of.

This is the story of a drug deal gone bad. Having committed the crime of selling a potent poison to a desperate youth, a destitute apothecary must decide how to spend his ill-gained fortune. Resolving to start his career afresh, he flees to the city of Verona to set up a new shop of medicinal healing and alchemical discovery. Plans go awry when he finds himself in the middle of a woeful tragedy he had unwittingly helped to cause.

Ricky and Trey want to be Super Villains. Rod Raynes, AKA Captain Courage, needs to capture them. Meanwhile, hundreds of feet below the Arizona desert, Professor Wulf Nils has to figure out what exactly is sitting in his holding cell and why it has a $100 haircut.