Humorous Horror

Messina, Noah, and I headed off to Chicago for a little TLC involving "stumping" some vampires. While in the Windy City, the cannibals blew back into our path, and everything started going downhill from there. A rest-stop massacre, Stacks' penchant for getting his ass in a sling, a drunk witch armed with a tube of cookie dough, firebombing explosions, Tom Waits, a hunter dive bar, demonic kid hitchhikers, throwing bodies in dumpsters, and run-ins with two of my exes.

Frank exists in the less than caring Olympus Retirement Care Home for the Elderly and Infirm. Daily tormented by Kevin his one to one helper, he is often left in his wheelchair to fend for himself in the back garden plagued by a mist of biting midges. Without family or friends he prays every evening for death to release him from his purgatory but every morning he wakes disappointed. When he is selected by a nefarious organisation for an experimental brain transplant he is without concern; that is until he finds himself transformed into the body of a mechanical spider on a mission to save ...

Der Kleinkriminelle Sascha Nebel hat sich zur falschen Zeit am falschen Ort das falsche Auto für einen Diebstahl ausgesucht. Kaum, dass er hinter dem Steuer eines Geländewagens Platz genommen hat, zieht eine Horde demonstrierender Klimaaktivisten durch die Straße. Allen voran eine junge Frau, die den SUV mit einer Baseballkeule demoliert. Als die Polizei auf der Bildfläche erscheint, ergreifen Sascha und die Unbekannte die Flucht und platzen in den Elternabend einer 5. Klasse. Um die Nacht nicht in Polizeigewahrsam zu verbringen, bleibt ihnen keine andere Wahl.

Since 1985, more than 500 overweight teenagers have come to Camp Wašíču looking to lose weight, gain self-confidence, and turn their lives around. Phillip McCracken arrives, weighing in at almost 400 pounds; but the baggage he carries from the past affects him much more deeply than the numbers of the scale. When a homicidal maniac hell-bent on revenge attacks, Phillip will be forced to either find the courage to save the people around him or fall victim to his own self-doubt...and possibly a machete.

Leigh Somerset wants to spend some quality time with her kids before they grow up, and her husband has always fancied himself sort of a Clark Griswold figure. So the Somersets will be spending their family vacation on the road, driving from suburban Milwaukee to Orlando, Florida. Already off to a rocky start, they stumble upon an abandoned, half-burned down farmhouse in Indiana, and the Somersets inadvertently unleash an eerie history that will follow them the rest of their trip.

Rochester Mansion's Climactic Conclusion! Playtime is always the best... ...but sometimes you have to be a warrior! At first it was an alpha male fantasy. Any woman walking over the beautiful Victorian's threshold would fall head over heels with the lucky man of the house! What could be better than the torrid harem he's been building with his ex-wife, the gorgeous nineteen-year-old that just so happens to be his ex-wife's former step-daughter and a gorgeous up-and-comer model? In this installment, Mike has to finally face The Source of Rochester Mansion's magic. Can he figure out what his ...

A small logging village on the outskirts of the Crescent is being terrorised by a serial killer, and an innocent family is being blamed for the murders. In this fresh take on the Red Riding Hood myth, Amber and Jadah have to match their wits against the killer before time runs out, and the killer finds another victim - or the village turns on the werewolves that have lived amongst them peacefully for years. And if that happens, all hell will break lose. Either way, this story ends in blood. Blood Moon Dance is a novella of around 17K, and takes place shortly after the events of WolfSong, ...

Can The Growlers Be Controlled? Led by Dan, on their way back to the village, Andrei and his family find other survivors. And with them, the prospect of an even larger threat… The mindless growlers attack for no apparent reason - while the ramblings of Grandma Gina, invoking scary old legends and folklore, increase tension and uncertainty. Albert, a fearless lumberjack, becomes vital to the group’s survival, despite suffering great loss himself. Will his heavy axe be enough to hold the raging tide of growlers? The survivors will soon discover a disturbing truth and realize that they ...

Sherlock Bones, the world's greatest dog detective, and his trusty sidekick Dr Jane Catson are back for two more crime-solving adventures. In The Curse of the Pharoah's Mask, Bones and Catson are visiting the tombs of the ancient feline kings in Egypt when they discover that a precious mask has been stolen. But the mystery is not as straightforward as it first seems. In The Horror of the Haunted Castle, when a wealthy dog spots a ghostly figure haunting her kennel she come to Bones and Catson for help. Bones is convinced there's no such things as ghosts.

Finally available as an audiobook, Joyce Carol Oates' lost classic: a satirical, often surreal, and beautifully plotted Gothic romance that follows the exploits of the audacious Zinn sisters, whose 19th-century pursuit of adventurous lives turns a lens on contemporary American culture.

That which is not dead will not rest nor lie. And with the strange passing of aeons, the petty affairs of men are of little consequence to the Old Ones, providing they have their fair share of sacrificial souls on which to feed. Blaise is a lowly policeman, tasked with patrolling a huge rural beat where everything appears, on the surface at least, idyllic. That’s until he’s seen the carcasses of the dogs, found in the woods, mutilated and drained of blood. And now humans are disappearing too and there’s talk of witchcraft, a folklore, long-thought dead with the execution of the last ...

In this fast-paced sequel to The Everything Box - the second entry in New York Times best-selling author Richard Kadrey's comedic supernatural series - chaos ensues when Coop and the team at DOPS steal a not-quite-dead and very lovesick ancient Egyptian mummy wielding some terrifying magic. Coop, a master thief sort of gone legit, saved the world from an ancient doomsday device - heroism that earned him a gig working for the Department of Peculiar Science.

Winner of the Nobelle Prize for Literature and the Wurlitzer Prize for nonfiction, Scott Telek’s film writing has never been matched by a computer or squirrel collective. Whether he’s being funny, insightful, provocative or merely engaging, Scott Telek’s movie writing is never boring. These reviews, culled from the acclaimed website he ran from 2015 to 2013, bring attention to under-appreciated cult gems and call out hidden themes in films we think we know. In these 38 movie reviews, Telek focuses less on whether a movie is “good” and considers everything equally as a work of ...

Livvy and Jayden are the stars of their school's robotics team. Livvy is especially enthusiastic because her own mother works in a robotics lab and experiments with artificial intelligence. To impress her mom, Livvy and Jayden build a robot. Livvy wants to name their robot "Francine", but Jayden thinks that's too silly for their creation. Desperate to win, Livvy and Jayden "borrow" an artificial intelligence module. They soon realize they've made a terrible mistake. Francine has too much brain power. She's alive! And using this newly gained brain power to dream up a deadly contest!

The cornerstone of private investigation—insurance fraud. Doing it, obviously. And then there’s the taxi job. Run someone to the airport while being chased by who knows what? Mix that in with drugs, party boats, and the Virgin Mary, and you’ve got a pretty standard day for one Mr. Cole. All for a lousy paycheck. Full of infanticide, evisceration, sadists, and snuff, Alex Cole is part private detective, part mercenary...all sick f--k. Cole Investigations is open—once more—for business.

This novel is the tale of Stanley Dabernath, zombie. A regular guy who dies, is brought back to life as a ghastly walking cadaver, and becomes the international sensation hailed by the press as The Amazing Mr. Corpse. Fame! Wealth! Groupies! Despite his ghoulish appearance, Stanley finds himself living the dream. But in many ways, it’s harder to be a celebrity than a zombie. The suits behind Project Second Chance want to tell him how to behave in public. There’s constant pressure coming at him from all sides—not to mention that many people consider him a vile blasphemy.

What is truth when nothing is real Hidden away in the Gulf of Mexico lies an island with a dark past. Once a haven for bootleggers and outlaws, Oyster Island now hosts the renovated Majestic Hotel & Casino. It’s not only the living that calls this place home. Ghosts, ghouls, and creatures of the night roam freely, haunting the island’s residents and visitors. One fateful night, a magical flying unicorn visits Odette Mouton and takes her on a wild ride to the island’s backside, where she discovers a time portal. Guided by a time-walking calico cat, she embarks on a journey that blurs ...

Did you always think that zombies were just made up to scare people? So did Tyler Bowers until his town was overrun by them. It is now up to him, his robot best friend Rob, and their martial arts expert friend, Kate, to save the town. Will they succeed in finding the source of the outbreak or will they too become the living dead? This story is a funny adventure that is engaging for children, middle school students, and grown-ups too! Check out The Undercover Brothers: Skateboard Spies (Prequel Story) to find out how it all began.

DETECTIVE ANGEL IS DETERMINED TO DO THE BEST JOB POSSIBLE FOR HIS CLIENTS, EVEN IF THEY ARE SUPERNATURAL BEINGS! AND DO THEY EVER NEED HELP. A TREASURE CHEST OF MONSTERS NO DETECTIVE SHOULD EVER HAVE TO FIGHT, LET ALONE HELP. SIX URBAN FANTASY MYSTERIES THAT TEST THE LIMITS OF COURAGE…AND OF SELF RESTRAINT WHO WILL NEED EVERY BIT OF BOTH TO SURVIVE THE FEMALE MONSTERS HE’S HELPING. HUMBUG AND THE UNICORN BLUE DEVIL KITTY BLACK HAWK DOWN LONELY HEARTS VAMPIRE CLUB THE GODDESS MONSTER THE EINSTEIN EQUATION

Grace is canvasing for the Green Party. Ugh. Knocking on doors in a clearly conservative road. The first house is a bust, and when the second offers a kindly gent looking for assistance–she can do nothing but offer to help.