Humorous Horror

What is it that’s so bad about a man’s marriage that he is driven to commit the perfect murder? Why is a gambler’s fate sealed when messages from the future give him the names of winning horses? Will a psychic be able to help the desperate parents of a kidnapped child? These are just a few of the stories in this collection of bite-sized tales which include ghostly goings-on, out-of-this-world visitations, murder, the paranormal, fantasy, nostalgia and much, much more. Author Anthony Talmage escorts us through a rollickingly enjoyable collection of stories for grown-ups

24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.

When horror writer Nick Steen gets sucked into a cursed typewriter by the terrifying Type-Face, Dark Lord of the Prolix, the hellish visions inside his head are unleashed for real. Forced to fight his escaping imagination - now leaking out of his own brain - Nick must defend the town of Stalkford from his own fictional horrors, including avascular-necrosis-obsessed serial killer Nelson Strain and Nick's dreaded throppleganger, the Dark Third.

Gabriel Delling might call himself a professional con artist, but when walking superstitions start trying to bite his face off, his charm is shockingly unhelpful. It turns out living nightmares almost never appreciate a good joke. Together with a succubus who insists on constantly saving his life, Gabe desperately tries to survive a new reality that suddenly features demons, legends, and a giant locust named Dale - all of whom pretty much hate his guts. And when an ancient horror comes hunting for a spirit locked in his head, Gabe finds himself faced with the excruciating choice between death...or becoming some kind of freaking hero.

My name’s Bill Ryder and I’m having a hell of a week. Magic is back, my new roommate is a blob of yellow snot, and my friend Sally has been entombed alive in solid rock. Oh, and I’m dead again, or undead anyway. Life’s not quite finished taking a dump on me yet, because now something is hunting vampires in New York City. A smarmy-ass wizard has been called in to investigate – one who’s got a closet full of skeletons and eyes for my girlfriend.

Bret Ellis, the narrator of Lunar Park, is the bestselling writer whose first novel Less Than Zero catapulted him to international stardom while he was still in college. In the years that followed he found himself adrift in a world of wealth, drugs, and fame, as well as dealing with the unexpected death of his abusive father.

I am sixteen years old, and my teacher believes I might be the most powerful supernatural in the mortal realm. It’s quite a burden. Not least because I must fight so hard to avoid using magic to silence the bitches at school. Do you wonder what would happen if I let my control slip? Today is the day I find out.

Patrick Bateman is 26 and works on Wall Street. He is handsome, sophisticated, charming, and intelligent. He is also a psychopath. And he is taking us to a head-on collision with America's greatest dream - and its worst nightmare...

Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk is a novel made up of stories: 23 of them, to be precise. Twenty-three of the most horrifying, hilarious, mind-blowing, stomach-churning tales you'll ever encounter, sometimes all at once. They are told by people who have answered an ad headlined "Writers' Retreat: Abandon Your Life for Three Months", and who are led to believe that here they will leave behind all the distractions of "real life" that are keeping them from creating the masterpiece that is in them.

An old Gypsy warns a farmer that he has the mark of the wolf. The Baron allows his son to take a holiday and then invites the wrong person into his giant castle. Nothing ever goes right for the Count, and he gets no respect. Eric fears werewolves, but it's his father he should fear. When classic horror meets tongue-in-cheek parody, the result is The Wood Chucker, a tale full of fond digs at the horror genre. Young heroes Woody, Sean, and Nellie span continents to team up with each other, and Karen, a reluctant Vampire set on revenge against the inept Vampire who turned her. Along the way, ...

James Stark, a.k.a. Sandman Slim, crawled out of Hell, took bloody revenge for his girlfriend’s murder, and saved the world along the way. After that, what do you do for an encore? You take a lousy job tracking down monsters for money. It’s a depressing gig, but it pays for your beer and cigarettes. But in L.A., things can always get worse. Like when Lucifer comes to town to supervise his movie biography and drafts Stark as his bodyguard.

Horror, Humor, and Heroes is a collection of twelve short stories, one novella, and a preview for my next novel that should contain enough variety to entertain you readers. Sample some of my finest offerings, such as - a guardian wolf fearing the coming of man, a producer willing to do anything to bring the first pay per view live werewolf hunt to the world, and a zombie running for congress.

Not every door stays closed. Not every whisper is the wind. Not every nightmare ends when you wake up... "Scary Stories That Will Make You Sh17 Yourself"* is a darkly twisted, laugh-out-loud horrifying collection of 40 original short stories that will crawl under your skin—and linger. Each tale stands on its own, plunging readers into haunted houses, cursed objects, shadowy figures, twisted games, and creatures that defy explanation. But don’t expect your typical campfire tales. These stories are soaked in atmosphere, fueled by dread, and served with a wicked grin. Perfect for fans of ...

Amy Foster considers herself lucky. After she left the city and went full minivan, she found her place quickly with neighbors Liz, Jess, and Melissa, together snarking the “Mom Mafia” from the outskirts of the PTA mom crowd. So, one night during their monthly wine get-together, the newfound crew concocts a plan for a clubhouse She Shed in Liz’s backyard—the perfect space for just them, no spouses or kids allowed.

In July 1890, Vincent van Gogh went into a cornfield and shot himself. Or did he? Why would an artist at the height of his creative powers attempt to take his life... and then walk a mile to a doctor's house for help? Who was the crooked little "color man" Vincent had claimed was stalking him across France? And why had the painter recently become deathly afraid of a certain shade of blue? These are just a few of the questions confronting Vincent's friends who vow to discover the truth of van Gogh's untimely death.

Grandpappy is on hospice. Charles is going mad. Vile happenings are abound. You, listener, are not prepared. This is your lesson in depravity. Warning! This is an extreme horror novella. Very few triggers are left unpulled.

No One Likes a Tease… But Who’s Teasing?! Jess is the kind of brat who never gives up once she wants something. So she teases the man of the house for weeks with the intention of gradually wearing him down. With all that she’s up to she wonders how long he can hold out before he takes her unprotected and doesn’t hold back! One sunny afternoon by the pool and she gets him right where she wants him! A Hot Brat Quickie! Kindle Unlimited members read for FREE!

Some people say that it’s a demon-haunted world. That certainly is true in Gus’s county around Halloween, mostly due to the digital demons plaguing Gus this year that live inside the new Pakiman game. There’s also a fancy Halloween party to deal with, to which everyone who is someone is invited—and that includes Gus. If getting a costume for a party he doesn’t want to go to was his worst problem, it would be a fun holiday season. Unfortunately, someone keels over dead in the free-cheese section of Fit Foods, and that opens the door to murder. That open door leads Gus right into ...

Brian, an aimless slacker, works doubles at his shift job, forgets to clean his room and lays about with his friends Nik and Darby. He's been struggling to manage his transition to adulthood almost as much as his monthly transitions to a werewolf. Really, he is not great at the whole werewolf thing, and his recent murderous slip-ups have caught the attention of Tyler, a Millennial were-mentor determined to take the mythological world by storm.

Johannes Cabal, a brilliant scientist and notorious snob, is single-mindedly obsessed in heart and soul with raising the dead. Well, perhaps not soul.... He hastily sold his years ago in order to learn the laws of necromancy. But now, tormented by a dark secret, he travels to the fiery pits of Hell to retrieve it. Satan, who is incredibly bored these days, proposes a little wager: Johannes has one year to persuade 100 people to sign over their souls, or he will be damned forever.