Humorous Horror

At long last, all of Bridget Sway's dreams are about to come true! She is in a department store. Shopping. Yes. Shopping! She has new makeup. New shoes. And, most importantly, is finally about to get some new underwear. But, instead of finding a frilly knicker and bra set, she finds the body of a dead medium. A familiar dead medium.

Tophet County's Midnight Carnival has it all: a mesmerizing (literally) Phæras Wheel, the racy delights of Sphinxter's All-Archonic Peep Show, and the lip-smacking lure of "things which never should have been fried." It's the perfect prelude to the witch's romantic night with her boyfriend, Chad . . . until a creepy fortune teller makes dire predictions with an enchanted deck of Garbage Pail Kids cards, an otherworldly pyromaniac sets the moon on fire, and a shipload of pasta-faced beasties from Lovecraft's backlist lands on the Dunwich Park softball field.

Between her regular job in Afterlife Arrivals, training for her second job with IA, her community service on The Bus of Death, GA meetings, taking care of her housemates, and every other ghostly commitment in between, Bridget Sway is already stretched pretty thin. Then, her best friend, Sabrina, drops a bombshell. Sabrina thinks she was murdered. And, in the afterlife, murdered dead people usually turn into homicidal maniac dead people. Despite that, Sabrina thinks if they can work out who killed her, then she might be able to get the closure she needs.

Here is a meeting with George and Marion Kerby, a couple of free-wheeling ghosts, who meet up with respectable banker Cosmo Topper. This was noted by the New York Times, claiming: “Thorne Smith created the modern American ghost story, ghosts with style and wit; ghosts that haunt us still.” Others pointed out, “Smith was a master of urbane wit and sophisticated repartee.” The overall mood has a touch of silliness, but it provides lighthearted reading and listening, a matter of nonsensical escapism. For Topper it meant relief from a nagging wife with ongoing indigestion.

A novelization of the hit horror-comedy spoof of slow-moving Gothic soap operas of the 1970s, Grave Mood Rings.

The Best of Bizarro Fiction: Vol. 2 features 11 carefully crafted surreal tales of the absurd, the hilarious, and the outright horrific. Edited by Matthew A. Clarke.

Scotty is no stranger to being bullied, but after a chance encounter in an online chatroom, finds hope in Rebecca. Scotty is about to find out that people on the internet can be worse than people in real life. Facebook. Twitter. These are the places the modern troll thrives. How far would you be willing to go to bring a troll to justice?

Hi, I am your death, and I am here for you. No, wait, don’t go! Aside from the fact that you can’t get away, I’m not here for you in that way, at least not now. Although to be honest with you, we do have a date, and I am always with you, whether you acknowledge me or not. When's the last time you had an intimate heart-to-heart chat with your death? Have you ever? Now is your chance. If you want to know the truth, I'm not your death, but you are mine. Now, don't freak out on me. It's only a visit.

A priest, a rock star, and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse walk into New York City… and then Armageddon really begins. In this gripping conclusion of the Mall Priest series, Christmas becomes a battleground once again, and the line between salvation and damnation blurs. Will Sam and his friends defeat the forces of Armageddon for good, or is the fate of humanity sealed?

Men come and go, but magic is forever…right? Wrong. After a few months of letting witchcraft slide, Jane Madison discovers that not using her powers has her rapidly losing them. Meanwhile, her warder is avoiding her, her familiar has moved out, her mother is abandoning her again, and her grandmother is…getting married? With her world turned topsy-turvy, Jane is at her wits' end trying to set things right. Staking everything on a last-ditch spell that backfires spectacularly, Jane is left full of questions.

Bishop's Point is about to face its biggest crisis since the distempered badgers attacked. Father O'Riley and Father O'Malley are all that stand in the devil's way. The forces of Hell descend upon the sleepy Irish town en masse, but they were not expecting the good fathers to lead a rebellion against them.

A collection of short stories about people living on the margins of society.

Horror, humor, and science fiction collide in this collection of weird tales about possible futures, warped present-day realities, and alternate history. Unreliable narrators run rampant alongside aliens, ghosts, bullies, cannibals, home invaders, heroes, villains, unimaginable creatures, and gifted individuals of all ages. Paranoia, fear, and bizarre situations abound in these reality-bending stories guaranteed to take you places you've never been.

There is a ghost penis monster and a giant hell spider in this book - you've been warned! In 1982, Moe killed a man while defending his son. The next day the man came back. In 1982, Moe went missing. The man continued to come back. In 2014, events are repeating themselves. In a race against time, reason and more time, Shane has to unwind mysteries of the past in order to save his friend Jason who has gone missing. Ugh...that sounds heavy. While all the above is true, this book also has a ghost dick monster.

Brad's mostly been a loner, content with his job and his tiny apartment. He's never thought much about being part of something. He's never really thought about the bigger picture. Until he meets a beautiful (and possibly psychotic) girl named Dawn. Dawn leads Brad into a vicious world as hedonistically carnal as it is brutal, forcing Brad to decide if he's going to dig deep within himself and continue to resist the community he's remained apart from his entire life or embrace it and accept his new reality.

Alice the chrononaut falls down an unmarked dimensional rift, or rabbit hole, which transports her to the wondrous lands as imagined by author Lewis Carroll. But this is a very real place, as any parallel reality that can be thought of can be created. Wonderland is being torn apart by warring kingdoms, cruel monarchs, cosmic corporations, odd gods, and the forces of Cthulhu!

An enchanted blade. An evil old man. An ancient spirit. The Weird West just gets weirder. Hucksters Orville and Jimmy struggle to buy a decent meal. When an old man asks for help with a supernatural pest, Orville smells opportunity. Jimmy smells danger. And danger is what they find. Jimmy must retrieve an enchanted knife, while fighting a huge coyote, a shapeshifting opossum, and an ancient spirit determined to keep the blade where it is, all to save Orville from the old man's clutches.

Jackie has a map of the city on the wall of her bedroom, with a green pin for each of her trees. She has a first-kiss tree and a broken-arm tree. She has a car-accident tree. There is a tree at the hospital where Jackie’s mother passed away into the long good night. When one of them gets cut down, Jackie doesn't know what to do but she doesn't let that stop her. She picks up the biggest rock she can carry and puts it through the window of a car. Smash. She intends to leave before the police arrive, but they're early.

In this story from the novel, “SuperHero – Retirement”, a recently retired SuperHero still mourning the death of his long-dead life unexpectedly finds romance while shopping.

Here I am, Charlie f--king Whitman - still pissed from last night, driving a rental car with two retarded kids in the back, somewhere between Barcelona and Paris. I used to be an art dealer. I suppose I still am, but now I do bad things for good money. Everything has its price, and I think I've just found mine.