Humorous Horror

By day, Mark Wojcik can be found elbow-deep in engine grease, making cars and trucks safe for the highway. By night, he can be found traipsing through the wilds of Pennsylvania, making the world safe for humans. He's more than just a mechanic, he's a New Templar Knight. He travels the backroads and byways fighting weresquonks, ningen, selkies, ghosts, and . . . gnomes? Is that gnome . . . naked? (Sigh.) Season One collects the first four novellas in the Spells, Salt, & Steel series: Spells, Salt, & Steel; Open Season; Deep Trouble; and Close Encounters.

Samantha is a professional seductress and con artist with a heart of gold. If she talked about her work, she’d tell you she only pilfers organs for medical research and that she only takes one kidney, and she only steals those kidneys from dishonest people. It’s hell on her social life. Abe is the doctor and Sam's partner in crime. He isn’t much of a criminal. Except for the kidney stealing. But he’s using that money to fund his research that he anticipates will be able to cure diabetes. So, all for a good cause...? You decide. Of course, it's hell on his social life.

A town is overrun by road weenies - a.k.a. joggers - who never smile. A girl thinks she's too old for Halloween...until she finds a special pair of gloves. A boy takes a shortcut to an unexpected place. A mummy takes his revenge, one little piece at a time.... These 35 tales ranging from the silly and offbeat to flat-out horrifying are just right for listening alone in the dark.

Eleven-year-old Philip Noble has a big problem. His dad has appeared to him as a member of the Dead Fathers Club, a club for "ghost dads" whose murders are unavenged. His father's road accident, it turns out, was no accident at all. Uncle Alan is responsible for his dad's death, and if Philip doesn't succeed in killing his uncle just before his dad's birthday, just 10 weeks away, his dad's spirit will never rest.

Sally has recently left an unfulfilling job to volunteer at a living history museum, where she is assigned to the Death House. Every day, she dons Victorian mourning garb and describes traditional funeral services to tourists. It sounds depressing as hell, but for Sally, it’s less depressing than her tepid marriage to her childhood sweetheart. This becomes all too clear when she accidentally travels through time and space to a liminal world where the ghosts of the living history museum haunt its grounds. There, she meets and falls hard for Victorian-era pretty boy Nathaniel.

As the Patron’s noose tightens down around the House of Graves, Tessa finds herself seeking the aid of Thomas Jury, a witch who’s powerful beyond measure and just as dangerous. But even with Jury’s so called 'help', will the Patron’s power prove too much for Tessa to withstand?

It is twelve years since the Great Reconfiguration and life in the continent-spanning network of Smart Houses is safe, sedentary, and sedated. Karl, Sam, and their children navigate this reality through implants and mood-balancing stims, living as much in the digital as the physical realm. However, when a tiny, impossible kitten enters their lives – unregistered, unthinkable, and utterly forbidden - a sequence of events is set in motion that will shatter their carefully constructed, user friendly world. As their home twists and turns against them, comfort becomes confinement, security ...

There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving. But they do watch over us. They watch our lives unfold, analyzing us for repeating patterns and redundancies. When they find them, the angels simplify those patterns and remove the redundancies, and the problem that is "you" gets solved.

A striking red-head, 20-something Jody is attacked and transformed into a vampire while walking home one night in downtown San Francisco. Befriending 19-year-old Tommy, Jody tries to understand her new undead life, but trouble finds her when the cops start suspecting Tommy of being a local bloodsucking serial killer.

*(Hello, I’m the Narrator, and welcome, my fiends, to a tale of twisted tragedy, petrifying producers, and stage fright so bad it could raise the dead, literally, they’re all over the place. They’re actually the production crew.)* *(Gather around for the opening monologue of ‘Tales From The Cryptkeeper William Shakespeare #1: Romeo Dracula and Juliet Van Helsing!’ and we can’t forget the subtitle ‘Part One: Cursed Starcrossed Lovers Who Are Really Having A Hard Time Of It’. For Pete’s sake! (Pete’s my non-related twin.) How do I put it? The book’s title is an ...

Thomas Jury has been taken, and there is nothing in this world that can stop Doc from getting him back. The only problem is that doing so may incite a war, but right now Doc is too pissed to care. He's on a collision course with the most powerful witch family in the world. Unfortunately for them, Doc's wrath may be more than they can bear...

Welcome to Camp Creepout. You know the place—the fog rolls in heavy, the trees whisper your name, and the canoes? Well, they have teeth. When 11-year-old Josh and his best friend Cooper arrive at Camp Creepout, they expect some hiking, s’mores, and maybe a few bug bites. What they don’t expect is to be stalked by a wooden monster with paddles for arms and a taste for rule-breaking campers. Now it’s up to a crew of goofy, terrified kids, a glowing-eyebrowed counselor, and a lot of marshmallows to stop an ancient canoe uprising before the entire camp is eaten—one bunkmate at a time....

In a perfect world where everyone destroys everything and eats human flesh, one zombie has had enough: Buck Burger. When he rebels at the natural disorder, his marriage starts deteriorating and a doctor prescribes him an anti-depressant. Buck meets a beautiful green-haired pharmacist fairy named Fairy_26 and quickly becomes a pawn in a cold war between zombies and supernatural creatures.

On the longest night of 1895, a terrible storm rages above Harewood Hall. Max, Markham and an injured Peterson are welcomed in by the Harewood family but quickly realise that the gathering is far from celebratory. For tonight marks the Ordeal of the Haunted Room. Every Harewood heir must endure one terrifying night alone in the Haunted Room before he can inherit the family seat. Legend says that ghosts will murder anyone who isn't the true heir. Francis Harewood's ordeal will begin at midnight and end at dawn, but it isn't long before everything goes horribly wrong.

‘Real women don’t wear chainmail miniskirts or leather pants to a fight. Steve doesn’t waste your time on sex, he gives you story, and there’s a whole ton of it in each and every book.’ Can you keep a secret? What if it is something really terrible? A quiet town in the American Midwest is about to be rocked to its core. As three young sisters come to terms with what they are – being a witch is a real problem in a churchgoing, God-fearing family - a new neighbour with a mysterious past hints at trouble to come. However, the scary woman stalking them could be the least of their ...

A suspenseful-gripping fun bloody adventure for the demon hunter. Cadence goes to Montana to help Graves Hassin solve a string of murders in the small town of Whitefish. High school girls are being killed. Their eyes are missing, leaving black holes with shadows moving inside. With her shadow demons and a large, nameless demon, the pale-faced witch, Jenny, aimed to kill her uncle Cadence, the demon hunter. Graves will need to help Chief Grady Black and his new love interest Emma Quinn understand about the supernatural and the evil that’s coming for them. Cadence has to confront his niece ...

It all started when Cadence was asked to listen to the dying old man’s stories at the peaceful desert retirement home. Slowly, Cadence realized each story was about him and a black skull a slave demon named Jarvis had given him centuries ago. The demons came for him one by one with each one appearing larger and more powerful and all of them wanted the black skull. Through the course of a hundred years, Cadence has to figure out why they were after the skull and what dark magic it possessed. In 1940, he asked the witch Meadow to hide the skull for him, so the demons could not take it. Now ...

My name is Frank Moon, and my life is completely in the toilet. Most of my friends, along with a large portion of New York City, are dead following the arrival of a bizarre meteor. The otherworldly phenomena brought with it a sickness—a disease—the likes of which this planet has never seen. A nightmarish species of super predator was born that day, something I call the Unseen. But at least I still have Jill, though, it was close…really close. Now, my wife and I find ourselves back in our old stomping grounds of South Florida, hellbent on locating our parents. Sadly, our triumphant ...

Waking up in a tacky coffin and wearing off-brand shoes, Betsy Taylor can't believe the horrible turn her life has taken; then she discovers she's a vampire. Soon, Betsy becomes a participant in a power struggle between the forces of darkness. With only her friend Jessica and the hunky vampire Sinclair to help her, this new "Queen of Vampires" will have a tough time getting her afterlife straight.

Located in a nameless desert somewhere in the great American Southwest, Night Vale is a small town where ghosts, angels, aliens, and government conspiracies are all commonplace parts of everyday life. It is here that the lives of two women, with two mysteries, will converge.