Humorous Horror

When horror writer Nick Steen gets sucked into a cursed typewriter by the terrifying Type-Face, Dark Lord of the Prolix, the hellish visions inside his head are unleashed for real. Forced to fight his escaping imagination - now leaking out of his own brain - Nick must defend the town of Stalkford from his own fictional horrors, including avascular-necrosis-obsessed serial killer Nelson Strain and Nick's dreaded throppleganger, the Dark Third.

24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.

Our heroes are dressed in homemade uniforms and armed with prop phasers but soon find themselves defending their hotel and convention center against hordes of flesh-eating undead. Suddenly, all of their useless knowledge about particle physics and old Star Trek episodes has genuine real-world applications! And while hotel employees and regular civilians are dying left and right, our Trekkies summon strength and courage by emulating their favorite starship-voyaging characters

Bubba and Uncle Father Joe head to the happiest place in the world to find out what's messing up Joe's ex-girlfriend's career making a museum exhibition of monster and demon summoning apparatus. Yeah - haunted magical objects from all over the world, all stuck in the same place. What could go wrong? Turns out the answer is plenty, and Bubba is going to need all the help he can get to survive this one.

It is twelve years since the Great Reconfiguration and life in the continent-spanning network of Smart Houses is safe, sedentary, and sedated. Karl, Sam, and their children navigate this reality through implants and mood-balancing stims, living as much in the digital as the physical realm. However, when a tiny, impossible kitten enters their lives – unregistered, unthinkable, and utterly forbidden - a sequence of events is set in motion that will shatter their carefully constructed, user friendly world. As their home twists and turns against them, comfort becomes confinement, security ...

Our favorite white trash zombie, Angel Crawford, has enough problems of her own, what with dealing with her alcoholic, deadbeat dad, issues with her not-quite boyfriend, the zombie mafia, industrial espionage, and evil corporations. Oh, and it’s raining, and won’t let up. But things get even crazier when a zombie movie starts filming in town, and Angel begins to suspect that it’s not just the plot of the movie that's rotten. Soon she's fighting her way through mud, blood, bullets, and intrigue, even as zombies, both real and fake, prowl the streets.

People start dropping dead around Charlie, giant ravens perch on his building, and it seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death.

It's time for the annual Recipe Days bake-off in Lubbock, Texas. Soccer moms and grandmothers gather to show off their family recipes, learn new secrets for the perfect shortcake, and perhaps earn a chance to be on the famous cooking show, How Would You Cook It, Then? When the bake-off is crashed by a federation of pro wrestlers - including American Badass, Jersey Devil Jill, Tiny Giant, The Village Person, Jonah the Whale, the Hellbillies, and the fan favorite Xombie - all hell is set to break loose. Your heart beats faster as you anticipate who will come out on top in the ultimate showdown of the century: soccer moms or pro wrestlers.

'If you want a series with a strong, kick-ass female lead, then this is it!' Hounded by the police, trying to learn a new job in a new town, and constantly picking up after her slob of a flatmate, Anastasia has all she needs on her plate … … add being hunted by demons to the mix won’t help then. When former soldier, Anastasia Aaronson, stumbles across two hellish creatures, her body reacts by channeling magic to defend itself and unleashes a power the Earth has forgotten. The sudden and unwanted discovery soon attracts a lot of heat: the demons all seem to want her, but the ancient ...

Thomas Jury has been taken, and there is nothing in this world that can stop Doc from getting him back. The only problem is that doing so may incite a war, but right now Doc is too pissed to care. He's on a collision course with the most powerful witch family in the world. Unfortunately for them, Doc's wrath may be more than they can bear...

In the summer of 1987, StarBright Shopping Mall is the place to be—until a masked killer with a bizarre fixation on butts turns it into a slaughtering ground. As the booty count rises, panic spreads faster than parachute pants on an ironing board. With a mix of laugh-out-loud humor and spine-chilling terror, this book will keep you on the edge of your seat, wondering, “Why did anyone write this?” and “Is my butt truly safe?”

Gabriel Delling might call himself a professional con artist, but when walking superstitions start trying to bite his face off, his charm is shockingly unhelpful. It turns out living nightmares almost never appreciate a good joke. Together with a succubus who insists on constantly saving his life, Gabe desperately tries to survive a new reality that suddenly features demons, legends, and a giant locust named Dale - all of whom pretty much hate his guts. And when an ancient horror comes hunting for a spirit locked in his head, Gabe finds himself faced with the excruciating choice between death...or becoming some kind of freaking hero.

The Headless Horseman. Everyone knows the legend. That’s all it is, right? When a third headless victim is found on Boston’s streets, Chloe Mayfield is tasked with finding the person behind the crime spree – no one else wants a case this weird. It would be easy to dismiss the murders as nothing more than the random acts of a madman with a cosplay fetish, but when her investigations lead her to the morgue, she comes face to face with an apparition she cannot explain. Throw in the stalker-like attentions of a deranged clown, dangerous interactions with the Salem witches, and an enemy ...

An old Gypsy warns a farmer that he has the mark of the wolf. The Baron allows his son to take a holiday and then invites the wrong person into his giant castle. Nothing ever goes right for the Count, and he gets no respect. Eric fears werewolves, but it's his father he should fear. When classic horror meets tongue-in-cheek parody, the result is The Wood Chucker, a tale full of fond digs at the horror genre. Young heroes Woody, Sean, and Nellie span continents to team up with each other, and Karen, a reluctant Vampire set on revenge against the inept Vampire who turned her. Along the way, ...

Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. This is not a metaphor. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fearmongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fearmongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection - the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That’s just as well, since the “cure” involves learning what a chain saw tastes like. You can’t feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings.

When the final four women in competition for an aloof, if somewhat sleazy, bachelor’s heart arrive on a mysterious island in the Pacific Northwest, they mentally prepare themselves for another week of extreme sleep deprivation, invasive interviews, and of course, the salacious drama that viewers nationwide tune in to eagerly devour. Each woman came on The Catch for her own reasons - brand sponsorships, followers, and yes, even love - and they’ve all got their eyes steadfastly trained on their respective prizes.

Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.

Strand's perpetually unlucky character Andrew Mayhem sets off on a simple mission at the request of his wife: Get some spaghetti sauce. On his way to the store he meets Konrath's obnoxious private eye Harry McGlade, co-star of the Lt. Jack Daniels thrillers. Horrific violence, bad jokes, and lots of name calling soon ensues. Some sex, too, but not between the main characters.

One Last Shindig—the new novella from the author of The Sound of Suffering, Nana, Crows, and Chasing the Dragon. The world as we know it is coming to an end, but this group of geriatrics on one last shindig have no idea what’s in store. As far as they’re concerned, they’re on a quick jaunt to see a cave full of glow worms and then back to the hotel for apple pie and custard. So, get the muscle spray ready and change into your big underpants, because you’re going to need them. Take your seat on this hilarious and terrifying coach tour into Hell.

As the daughter of Dracula, you would think I’d be born the perfect monster. You couldn’t be more wrong. As far as monsters go, I’m a screw up—if I’m not tripping over my own feet, I’m accidentally murdering someone (it’s a real issue, guys). Left with no choice, Dad decides to send me to Prodigium—otherwise known as Monster Academy—to train me on how to be a better monster. When bodies turn up on campus, I’m the prime suspect (not that I can blame them).