Humor Short

Stranded aliens seek out Earth's most intelligent species. (Hint: It's not us.) A bully discovers the meaning of "spatial displacement." Two girls find out why you should never annoy a witch. When a swarm of sneaking, slashing, scurrying ninja weenies invades their neighborhood, a boy and his best friend find a way to fight back. Here are 33 hilarious and harrowing stories that will scare you, make you laugh, or see the world in a whole new way. Find out where David got the idea for each story at the end of the book. Don't be a weenie. Listen to these stories. If you dare!

Someone just threatened my life— And I couldn't be happier. Miles Cross is my boss—and my temporary body guard. Gruff, stoic, and stern, he’s also the man of my dreams. I’ve saved all of my firsts for the day he makes a move. Everyone knows how much I love him. Everyone except Miles. But nobody understands the Cross brothers like I do. I’ll wait as long as it takes to crack that rough and stony exterior. Now a mystery stalker is leaving me threatening notes. I should be terrified. Instead, I’ve never been more excited. Because Miles has vowed to keep me safe— And I’m not ...

A couple awakens in a home in the woods to find themselves rapidly aging as their toddler remains unchanged. A work-worn employee navigates conspiracy theories and the threat of violence in an abandoned office. A tour guide leads a troublesome group to an ancient structure, apparently nonhuman in origin, discovering along the way that the most mysterious creatures of all are right beside him.

Penniless and downtrodden at the loss of his wife and one of his daughters, Samuel Clemens turned to writing. The short stories and essays in Letters from the Earth find Clemens—under the pseudonym of Mark Twain—at perhaps his most quizzical and questioning state ever. Written as diary entries, Twain penned a series of letters from the point of view of a dejected angel on Earth who observes the many curious natures of man. These pieces, gathered by Twain's literary executor, feature sharp takes on the inconsistencies of Christianity and farcical criticisms of American life.

The Bookshop Harem is official for Ethan, Grace, and Kayla. But how long can they keep it a secret? There's no shame among the three of them, but life is certainly simpler without having to explain your polycule. Especially when one of Ethan's girlfriends is also his employee. But keeping it close to the vest (and in his pants) isn't so easy. Grace and Kayla appear to be completely insatiable, and they're pushing Ethan's own libido to the max. Running a store is hard enough, but keeping two gorgeous women satisfied on top of it? It was only a matter of time before there was a slip-up. Maybe...

Hot Mr. Scrooge is my neighbor. Hope The man loathes Christmas. What person doesn’t warm up to the best holiday of the year? The cabin I purchased mentioned it needed light work, not a gut renovation. Looks nothing like the picture. The brooding beast next door said he’d help spruce up the place if it will get me to leave him alone. Deal. Because who wants to be around the Grinch longer than they have to? Even if he’s tall. Has a gorgeous face you can stare at all day. And a body you’d love to mount on your sleigh repeatedly. Then I wondered could I help Mr. Non-Christmas ...

This collection of sharply observed animal-themed tales is a delight, told with David Sedaris's trademark blend of hilarity and goodnaturedness. Though the characters may not be human, the situations in these stories bear an uncanny resemblance to the insanity of our own everyday interactions.

For centuries, the woods have been a pivotal part of the wonder and danger of fairy tales, for once you enter anything can happen. Elves, druids, fairies - who knows what you will find once you dare step into the forest?

And now, New York Times best-selling author Kim Harrison ventures into these mysterious, hidden lands of magic and mystery in her first short-story collection. Into the Woods brings together an enchanting mix of brand-new, never-before-published stories and tales from Harrison's beloved, best-selling Hollows series.

Small Bones in a Fist is composed of stories drawn from Blindboy's first two published books: The Gospel According to Blindboy and Boulevard Wren and Other Stories. Curated, narrated and scored by the author, Small Bones in a Fist is a surreal, provocative and darkly funny introduction to one of the most original voices in Irish literature.

James Bascule is adrift. College beckons—but not quite strongly enough to actually get him to campus. A trip to Europe showed him a world bigger than his Northern California upbringing—and yet, one broken heart later, Northern California is where he’s returned. Back to his old bedroom, paying his bemused parents rent with his new hobby, baking bread with the sourdough starter that is his only souvenir of what was apparently just a summer fling.

Here for the first time the stories and short novels of the war with the Outs are collected into a novel-length chronicle. The Outs had mental powers they could use to make humans see illusions and convince them to change sides. Obviously, they were unbeatable - until some troublesome humans found their Achilles' heel.

In the first tale, we follow two workmen on an intriguing journey to Coney Island, where the heartsick and disgruntled Tobin has his palm read. Who knew that palmistry could be so unpredictable? Secondly, a tale of kidnapping gone awry. A little boy, self proclaimed "Red Chief", is taken from his home, and has so much fun he never wants to go back, much to the chagrin of the kidnappers.

Set in the biggest small town in the country, Susan and Mike travel to St. Louis for their son’s Match Day ceremony. At the reception, the dean of the medical school drops dead under mysterious circumstances. Susan smells foul play. Teaming up with the detective’s mother, it's double trouble as she and her new bestie uncover secrets worthy of murder in Murder is Medical. In Murder is Universal, Susan and Valerie are on a flight when they discover the passenger in the middle seat dead on arrival. The dynamic duo is convinced it was murder. The dead passenger, owner of a successful ...

-Extraordinary encounters. Unexpected humor. Endless challenges. Life-threatening diseases. Unthinkable trauma.- Welcome to STAT: Crazy Medical Stories as told by the healthcare professionals themselves. From peculiar conditions and mysterious ailments to remarkable recoveries and perplexing medical mysteries, Stat: Crazy Medical Stories, draws from real-life accounts. Each chapter unveils crazy medical cases as narrated by the healthcare professionals themselves. The stories take you on a captivating journey across various disciplines, including general medicine, surgery, psychiatry, and ...

These wonderfully funny short stories feature a cast of outrageous characters, all plotting to save themselves from wedlock, poverty, or ignominy - with various degrees of success. This recording includes the following stories: "All's Well with Bingo", "Bingo and the Peke Crisis", "The Editor Regrets", "Sonny Boy", "Anselm Gets His Chance", "Romance at Droitgate Spa", "A Bit of Luck for Mabel", "Buttercup Day", and "Ukridge and the Old Stepper".

The brilliant follow-up to David Walliams' best seller The World's Worst Children! Ten more stories about a brand-new gang of hilariously horrible kids from everyone's favourite children's author. If you thought you had heard about the world's worst children already, you're in for a rather nasty shock. The beastly boys and gruesome girls in this book are even ruder, even more disgusting and WORSE than you could ever imagine!

Is this the right book for you? Take the annoying test and find out. Do you ask 'Are we there yet?' over and over on long car trips? Do you like to drive people mad by copying everything they say and do? Do you hog the shower and use up all the hot water? Do you enjoy asking silly questions that have no real answers? Do you swing on the clothesline whenever you get the chance?

My Man Jeeves, first published in 1919, introduced the world to affable, indolent Bertie Wooster and his precise, capable valet, Jeeves. Some of the finest examples of humorous writing found in English literature are woven around the relationship between these two men of very different classes and temperaments. Where Bertie is impetuous and feeble, Jeeves is coolheaded and poised.

Discover the lost Seuss! These rarely seen Dr. Seuss stories were published in magazines in the early 1950s and are finally available in audiobook form.

Do not let Etgar Keret deceive you. The Israeli writer who's worked in film, illustration, animation, and radio, is a storyteller in all senses of the word. Like a conman, he'll promise you a simple story and then the next thing you know your emotional reserves have been completely emptied. It's a literary bait and switch, and he'll get you every time.