Humor Kids

Greg Heffley will never change his wimpy ways. You see, Frank Heffley actually thinks he can get his son to toughen up, and he enlists Greg in organized sports and other "manly" endeavors. Of course, Greg is able to easily sidestep his father's efforts to change him. But when Greg's dad threatens to send him to military academy, Greg realizes he has to shape up . . . or get shipped out.

Get ready - book 10 in the phenomenally best-selling Diary of a Wimpy Kid series is coming! Life was better in the old days. Or was it? That's the question Greg Heffley is asking as his town voluntarily unplugs and goes electronics free. But modern life has its conveniences, and Greg isn't cut out for an old-fashioned world. With tension building inside and outside the Heffley home, will Greg find a way to survive? Or is going "old school" just too hard for a kid like Greg?

There are 1.371 million animal species on Earth, each with their own quirky characteristics. Keep listening to learn some bonkers and hysterical facts about a few of them! People won't protect things they don't love. People won't love things they don't know. Here's your kid's chance to get to know some awesome, amazing, and amusing animals! The world around us is fascinating, as is the wildlife in it. My goal is to inspire a love and respect for this planet that'll make the next generation socially and environmentally conscious and motivate them to protect the earth.

Valdez Jones VIII calls himself Wrecker because his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather salvaged shipwrecks for a living. So is it destiny, irony, or just bad luck when Wrecker comes across a speedboat that has run hard aground on a sand flat? The men in the boat don't want Wrecker to call for help—in fact, they'll pay him to forget he ever saw them. Wrecker would be happy to forget, but he keeps seeing these men all over Key West—at the marina, even in the cemetery. And now they want more than his silence—they want a lookout.

Every morning, Judy measures Stink, and it's always the same: 3 feet, 8 inches tall. Stink feels like even the class newt is growing faster than he is. Then one day, the ruler reads 3 feet, 7 and 3/4 inches! Can it be? Is Stink shrinking? Stink tries everything to look like he's growing, but wearing up-and-down stripes and spiking his hair don't seem to be fooling anybody into thinking he's taller.

Jake McQuade is the smartest kid in the universe — and he's back to defend his title! This time, he is heading off to a camp for geniuses sponsored by billionaire tech mogul (and brilliant inventor) Zane Zinkle. But genius camp is not like regular camp. There are limo buses, robot polar bears, and high-tech cabins with high-tech toilets! But it isn’t all fun and brain games at camp, especially when Jake goes up against the artificially intelligent Virtuoso quantum computer — the smartest machine in the universe!

Nelson is a ninja. He's not the coolest. Or the bravest. But he is the world's nerdiest ninja! And now he has to stop an animal rampage and machines going crazy all over town! For that, he'll need his new jetpack...and some serious ninja skills! How will Nelson learn to fly when he's scared of heights?

Nate knows he's meant for big things. REALLY big things. But things don't always go your way just because you're awesome. Nate barely survives his dad's toxic oatmeal before rushing off to school - minus his lunch. He body slams the no-nonsense principal. He accidentally insults his least favorite teacher, the horrifying Mrs. Godfrey (aka Godzilla). And school has barely started!

Mr. Jenkins, the director at Camp Lone Wolf, has decided to hold a track meet. He's even brought an expert running coach to help the Bailey School kids prepare. The new coach is strangely inspirational—when she sings, people feel like they can do anything. But when the kids notice the strange resemblance the coach bears to a mermaid, the fact that she refuses to get wet, and that she's planning to run off with Mr. Jenkins, they wonder if this coach is more than she appears to be. Can the kids solve this mystery before they lose Mr. Jenkins and Camp Lone Wolf forever?

Want to get back at your kids for making you put up with the most nauseating encounters, while still enjoying some quality time with them? Here’s a unique way of accommodating your child’s preference for the distasteful things in life, without getting yourself dirty. Prepare to be revolted, stumped, and totally tickled with this insane family challenge!

Long before saving the earth became a global concern, Dr. Seuss, speaking through his character the Lorax, warned against mindless progress and the danger it posed to the earth's natural beauty.

Over 450 hilarious jokes with a laugh-out-loud cartoon on every page. Hundreds of rib-ticklers that promise hours of fun for young readers! Packed with side-splitting jokes about ninja’s, ghosts, school, animals, and much, much more. This book is an easy read with wonderfully silly illustrations on every page for even more laughs. The fun doesn't stop. This mega collection of jokes for kids is fully illustrated, family-friendly, and filled with modern and classic jokes. It will help kids improve their reading comprehension and verbal skills. They’ll be laughing so much they won’t ...

Risk-averse Greg Belmont is content with being ordinary. He's got a friend - that's right, just one - at his fancy prep school, and a pretty cool dad (even if he is obsessed with organic soaps that smell like a mix of salted pork and Icelandic bog). The problem is, Greg isn't ordinary... he's actually a fantastical Dwarf! He discovers the truth the day his dad brings home a gross new tea - one that awakens bizarre abilities in Greg. Then a murderous Bro-Troll kidnaps his dad and Greg is whisked away to the Underground, where Dwarves have lived for centuries right beneath Chicago.

Penguin presents the unabridged, downloadable audiobook edition of Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul written by Jeff Kinney. A family road trip is supposed to be a lot of fun . . . unless, of course, you're the Heffleys. The journey starts off full of promise, then quickly takes several wrong turns. Gas station bathrooms, crazed seagulls, a fender bender, and a runaway pig-not exactly Greg Heffley's idea of a good time. But even the worst road trip can turn into an adventure.

A glitter explosion. A ruined poster. A mystery sandwich. Welcome to Marie Lane’s messiest week ever. Twelve-year-old Marie Lane has big plans to win her school’s kindness poster contest—until a spilled paint cup, a very sparkly dog, and a bad case of Tuesday ruin everything. But just when things feel hopeless, Marie turns her glittery disaster into a message from the heart: “Kindness isn’t always neat. But it always matters.” What follows is a week full of awkward apologies, anonymous acts of kindness, and one sandwich that just might change everything. With humor, heart, and a...

Rafe Khatchadorian has enough problems at home without throwing his first year of middle school into the mix. Luckily, he's got a foolproof plan for the best year ever, if only he can pull it off: With his best friend Leonardo the Silent awarding him points, Rafe will break every rule in his school's oppressive Code of Conduct. Chewing gum in class--5,000 points! Running in the hallway--10,000 points! Pulling the fire alarm--50,000 points! But when Rafe's game starts to catch up with him, he'll have to decide if winning is all that matters.

Enseñando a los Niños a Tener Paciencia! En un día hermoso, con el sol que todo el cielo llenaba, Dos gatos vecinos se juntaron en un jardín que cerca estaba. En un clima cálido, donde el invierno había terminado, Respirando la primavera que las flores había germinado. Leslie Michan 5.0 out of 5 stars me gusto Verified Purchase Me recuerda a mi gato negro Winnie y mi gato blanco luna también se pelean abeses pero duermen juntas y juegan juntas Frances 5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book specially for the times we’re living It started like a complicated book for my 8-year-old English...

Get ready - book 11 in the phenomenally best-selling Diary of a Wimpy Kid series is coming! The pressure's really piling up on Greg Heffley. His mom thinks video games are turning his brain to mush, so she wants her son to put down the controller and explore his creative side. As if that's not scary enough, Halloween's just around the corner, and the frights are coming at Greg from every angle. When Greg discovers a bag of gummy worms, it sparks an idea.

Jake McQuade's the smartest kid in the universe—or at least he was. But just as his training with the secret agency known as the Consortium is about to start, Jake's jelly beans go missing! And to make matters worse, they (and Jake's genius!) might be wearing off right when he needs his smarts most! Jake needs to solve this mystery fast. Who stole the jelly beans and why? Can Jake figure out what's going on, recover the missing jelly beans, and stop a high-tech heist before it's too late?!

To escape the stress of the holidays, the Heffleys decide to get out of town and go to a resort instead of celebrating Christmas at home. But what's billed as a stress-free vacation becomes a holiday nightmare.