Humor Funny

`Laugh out loud funny,' said Golf World. This is a book about people who lose balls, clubs, tempers and, on occasion, the course they're supposed to be playing; people who feel they are doing well if the ball they hit on the 18th green is the same ball they drove off the first tee. `Anyone who has played golf - or tried to play golf - will find this addictive book unputdownable. Highly recommended.' Sunday Times bestselling author Vernon Coleman has been a professional author for over 40 years. His hugely popular books have sold over two million hardback and paperback copies in the UK alone...

Welcome to the weirdest school year of Hector P. Blart’s life. One minute he’s just a regular 11-year-old trying to survive spelling tests and mystery meat lunches. The next? He’s dodging cursed homework assignments, haunted lockers, and a ghost substitute teacher who hasn’t checked out since the ‘90s. Oh, and let’s not forget Slime—the bookworm who’s literally a worm and may or may not eat overdue library cards. This is a suspense-packed, laugh-out-loud adventure perfect for boys (and brave girls) ages 9–12—or anyone with a 5th-grade reading comprehension level who ...

All it takes is a few underhanded moves by a tough ex-cop named Eppick to pull thief John Dortmunder into a game he never wanted to play. With no choice, he sets out on a perilous treasure hunt for a long-lost gold and jewel-studded chess set once intended as a birthday gift for the last Romanov czar. Success is not inevitable with Dortmunder leading the attack, but he's nothing if not persistent, and some gambit or other might just stumble into a winning move.

Marriage? It can be absolute murder. The royal wedding looms and Felicity can think of little else … until a member of her dream team is arrested for attempted murder. Doris, a long-time friend and superstar florist, stands accused of attempting to kill half a dozen brides, their bouquets poisoned with an unknown toxin. Ordered not to interfere by the hateful Chief Inspector Quinn, Felicity is determined to find the real person behind the bizarre crimes and clear her friend’s name – Doris must be innocent, right? But Felicity is not exactly known for her sleuthing skills. If anything,...

To celebrate National Poetry Month, Ella Mentry School will have a schoolwide poem-writing contest, and all the students have to enter. There’s just one problem: A.J. has no time for rhymes! But when an amazing secret prize is revealed, will A.J. be inspired to write a winning poem? And can he beat Little Miss Know-It-All Andrea—the best poet in school?

Teach your child patience! * * * * * * * * * "You forgot the mail?" The king yelled at the snail. But the snail stayed as calm as could be. He was not afraid of the king, you see. He knew where the gift was; he knew what to do. The monsters learned that patience pays off too. We are all familiar with the phenomenon of children wanting everything "here and now". This story describes just such a situation. I hope you and your children will enjoy it and learn from it. 子どもたちに辛抱について教えてくれる１冊！ 「郵便を忘れただと？」王様はカタツムリ君に...

Twenty years after leaving London, Nina Stibbe is back in town with her dog, Peggy. Together they take up lodging in the house of writer Deborah (Debby) Moggach in Camden for 'a year-long sabbatical'. It’s a break from married life back in Cornwall, or even perhaps a fresh start altogether. Nina is not quite sure yet. Debby does not have many demands – only to water the garden, watch for toads, and defrost the odd pie – so Nina is free to explore the city she once called home.

The big day is finally here - Amelia Bedelia’s school, Oak Tree Elementary, is 100 years old, and the whole town is throwing a party. Best of all, a secret time capsule that has been buried for an entire century will finally be dug up and opened! Amelia Bedelia and her friends have some guesses about what they’ll find. Are they right? Or is everyone in for a big surprise?

On the longest night of 1895, a terrible storm rages above Harewood Hall. Max, Markham and an injured Peterson are welcomed in by the Harewood family but quickly realise that the gathering is far from celebratory. For tonight marks the Ordeal of the Haunted Room. Every Harewood heir must endure one terrifying night alone in the Haunted Room before he can inherit the family seat. Legend says that ghosts will murder anyone who isn't the true heir. Francis Harewood's ordeal will begin at midnight and end at dawn, but it isn't long before everything goes horribly wrong.

Funny You Should Ask... features the QI Elves' answers to 200 questions on topics ranging from goosebumps to gherkins and everything in-between. Generously sprinkled with mind-boggling extra facts from the Elves, this is essential listening for the incurably curious.

(Edited February 7th 2018) I’m running for my life. The last place I need to be is in the arms of the man who knocked me up. But that’s exactly where I end up. Livie They’re hunting me. I witnessed something I shouldn't have and now they want my life to keep their secret. I’m pregnant and alone. And there’s only one person who can help me now. The only safety in sight is my baby's father, Brandon. He’s bad, completely bad for me. I hate him…and maybe I love him a little to. Which is just another reason this is a bad idea. My back is against the wall. I’m out of options. ...

The heart wants what it can’t have. Chase is too forbidden and tempting, and that’s making me “chase” after him more. Well that… and the fact that he’s insanely gorgeous. Chase is my best friend’s big brother and she’s totally freaked out by us. The drama is more than I can handle. But I don’t blame her… not one bit. He’s so much older. A billionaire. I mean, what do I have to offer a billionaire? Nothing. Oh, except for my innocence. And then a secret baby. My life went from totally normal to completely stormy quite quickly. Now with a newborn baby on the way, I’m ...

He's snarky, but ever since Jameson became Isabella's familiar, he's had her back. Now it's time for her to return the favor. She promised to rescue his sister from a fraternity stronghold. The only problem is, she'll need help from her sorority. That's right, the women who hate her. In a desperate attempt to get the witches to work together, Hope asked a highly-regarded witch, Inanna, to train Isabella and her group. Isabella's pretty sure the Geneva Convention was violated in her training but it doesn't matter. Inanna was found dead on the library steps. The warning is clear, but a ...

When Dawn Fallon abandons her ambitions to be a professional musician and becomes a Civil Servant little does she realise she would be given a job as a VAT Control Officer - a job she struggles with on many levels, but with the help and support of her senior colleagues, she achieves a promotion, though finds the job no less difficult. The job brings her into contact with some bizarre situations and an interesting variety of business people. As she visits businesses to inspect their accounts for Value Added Tax purposes, researches whether sheep semen is taxable, grapples with solving why a ...

Please do NOT buy this book (or any in this series) expecting it to be anything like the Bilbury series. Just Another Bloody Year describes a year in Vernon Coleman's bizarre and tempestuous life. Comes with many health warnings. Unsuitable for the overly sensitive and the politically correct.This book contains no fats, saturated or otherwise. It is not a toy and is unsuitable for children under three years if age. It may contain nuts. May have been written in a building where salt, mustard, ketchup and other condiments are used. Passages written when the author was under stress, upset or ...

Welcome to the laugh-out-loud chaos of getting older—and refusing to act like it. In The Mind Said Yes… The Body Called 911, you'll meet a cast of lovable, slightly unhinged seniors who try everything their minds enthusiastically agree to... only to have their joints, muscles, and dignity cry out in betrayal. From trampoline disasters and Zumba incidents to TikTok misadventures and DIY plumbing chaos, this book is packed with hilarious real-life missteps, relatable aging wisdom, and the kind of humor that will leave you snorting into your applesauce. If you’ve ever said, “I still ...

Butterbean knew she wasn't always a good dog. Still, she'd never considered herself a BAD dog—until the morning that her owner, Mrs. Food, fell in the hallway. Admittedly the tile was slipperier than usual, mostly because Butterbean had just thrown up on it. Now Butterbean and her fellow pets have to come up with a grand plan to support themselves in case Mrs. Food is unable to keep taking care of them. When they discover a mysterious man in their building who seems to have lots of loot, they plan a heist.

A collection of hilarious original audio stories for raising lots of laughs and giggles. These new stories are especially written for families to listen to, publishing to coincide with April Fool's Day! With over an hour of audio, this edition is filled with funny and engaging sound effects, guaranteed to raise laughs from little listeners everywhere. This audiobook is aimed at children aged three and over, for family listening and learning and development for young minds.

A little-known fact: the characters in your favorite fairytales were all runners! That being the case, it might cause you to wonder if the stories you were told as a kid are true. Was there really a wolf on the way to Grandma’s house? Or was it waiting somewhere outside of Hopkinton? Was it breadcrumbs that doomed Hansel and Gretel? Or did it have something to do with an expired XXL chili burrito from the corner minimart? And what’s the deal with porridge? Are we sure Goldilocks wasn’t interested in something else entirely? Runners’ Fairytales answers these questions and more! Find ...

Meet the good egg. He’s a verrrrrry good egg indeed. But trying to be so good is hard when everyone else is plain ol’ rotten. As the other eggs in the dozen behave badly, the good egg starts to crack from all the pressure of feeling like he has to be perfect. So, he decides enough is enough! It’s time for him to make a change.... Jory John hatches a funny and charming story that reminds us of the importance of balance, self-care, and accepting those who we love (even if they are sometimes a bit rotten).