Humor Funny

“In the beginning, there was the phone. And it was good. Too good.” Once upon a time, humans walked the earth with their heads held high — literally. They made eye contact. They talked. With their actual mouths. These strange, ancient beings — let’s call them Pre-iZombians — read physical books, made awkward small talk in elevators, and suffered the cruel torment of waiting in line without entertainment. It was a savage, barbaric time. Then came the glow. It began innocently enough: a message here, a selfie there, a map to avoid the existential terror of asking for directions. ...

She pretends to be pious, but she’s about to be corrupted. Hank: Maribel Andrews, aka “The Church Lady”, has fascinated me for as long as I can remember. I’ve always wondered if those prim outfits and severe hairstyles hid a secret passion. Little did I know that Maribel had a kinky side, one I longed to dominate… Maribel: For years I was the “good girl”, doing what was expected of me. I saved myself for marriage, turned a blind eye to my husband’s cheating, and faithfully went to church every week to pray for my salvation. But following the rules didn’t keep me from ...

Sophie Sweet is a game programmer who adores three things: writing code; Doritos Surprise, the one thing she can cook; and her ride-or-die BFF Jodie Edwards. And only those three. To Sophie, people are a lousy bunch of jackasses who lie and leave when you need them most, so why bother? That goes double for "love," a ridiculous fairy tale sold to women to keep them subjugated and cooking things besides Doritos Surprise, which is madness. Sophie and Jodie have a tradition of getting their fortunes read at the carnival, but this year there's a new surprise in town-Tiffani the Psychic. The ...

Welcome to Pettett & Mayfield, a once-grand central London department store now fallen on harder times, despite the eccentric owner's schemes to attract customers. But from the basement kitchenware department through to the top floor management offices, love and faith can still find a home. You never forget your first love... especially if they broke your heart! With her eye for design and her cut-glass accent, no-one would guess Beth Forrest’s poorer background. It’s all throw pillows, china patterns, and upper class brides in the Wedding Registry at Pettett & Mayfield. So it's not ...

She's not a karate expert. She can't pick a lock. And she certainly isn't a master of disguise.... But Riley is stubborn, and this is her city. She's not going down without a fight! If you like female characters who are strong, funny, and real, then you're going to love Kay Riley, a Chicago cop wrongly accused of a terrorist bombing, and on the run for her life. A wiser woman might flee the country, but Riley is determined to clear her name. Armed with a quick wit and some friends who don't mind breaking a few laws, Riley becomes an amateur vigilante.

Texas Tall Tales and Just Flat Out Lies. Now everybody knows that Texas is a big place and Texans are proud of that fact. Everything in Texas is big, at least that’s the way a Texan thinks of it. So by their very nature they are prone to exaggerate, just a little bit. Well, maybe a lot! So for your entertainment you’re going to read a few of those Texas Tall Tales. Now to be truthful you never really know if they’re true or not, but you’ll have to decide that for yourself.

Unleash Your Culinary Diplomacy with "The Keep the Politics in the Kitchen Cookbook"! How about some Donald Trump Dump Soup or Sloppy Joe Bidens!?! Welcome to a kitchen where politics and humor dance on your taste buds and your gathering will be the talk of the town. "The Keep Politics in the Kitchen Cookbook" is not just a 100 recipe collection; it's a hilarious journey through the flavors of democracy, designed to stir up a pot of laughter. Perfect for your kitchen or a hilarious gift for a friend! Enjoy the… Flavorful Unity: Discover dishes that bridge political divides and bring ...

I got 99 problems, but the witch ain’t one of ‘em… Right. First problem? Maverick and his bad attitude are going to cause the death of me. Thank God he’s got Taliyah to keep him somewhat sane because otherwise, I’d start pulling my hair out. Not only is Maverick cramping my style big time, but then there’s the fact that I have to pretend that I’ve been turned into a vampire, so going out in the daytime is no longer a possibility. And try being High Witch to your coven when you can only come out at night… Meanwhile, I’m doing my very best to get Imani to join our ranks, and...

BOOK TWO IN THE TROUBLE WITH MEN SERIES from New York Times Bestselling Author Kasey Michaels. Could anything be more boring than a week-long celebration leading up to a high society wedding? Well, that all depends… Doug Llewellyn, reluctant guest, is greeted with a world-shattering kiss doled out by a beautiful (and rather luscious) stranger who asks him to play along as his date for the week. Rosie Kilgannon, friend of the bride, is also stuck at the country estate, but she’s determined she isn’t also going to be stuck with the mother-of-the-bride Bettie’s choice of partner for ...

101 Hilarious Jokes is a funny collection of clean one-liners, silly puns, and dad jokes. Perfect for family nights and road and plane trips. Try not to laugh! Appropriate for kids, teens, and adults.

It’s another murder in the little town of Roble. But not to worry, Romaine and Auntie Zanne are on it! It’s the 100th Boule of the Distinguished Ladies’ Society of Voodoo Herbalists. They’ve gotten together to eat, drink, be merry and vote for the next Lesser Mambo, a lifetime appointment second only to the Most High (bet you’ll never guess who holds that position). But the second in command spot keeps becoming vacant—that’s because the women who fill it keep dying off. This time though, it looks like murder. During an alcohol-infused dinner and a tall glass full of absinth, a...

400+ funny jokes for kids! Are you looking for a fun audiobook to keep the kids entertained and happy? This hilarious audiobook is filled with silly and corny jokes that are guaranteed to bring lots of smiles and giggles to your child's face. With a large assortment of jokes and riddles, everyone will be on the floor laughing!

Morons got you down? Dim-witted idiots getting on your nerves? Had enough of brainwashed sheep telling you what they think? Strike back with this perfectly insulting book of outrageous adult political humor. Guaranteed to ruffle feathers wherever you leave it. You might have a LOW IQ if . . . If you think the purpose of the media is to inform the public . . . You might have a low IQ. If you feel guilty about something your ancestors did before you were born . . . You might have a low IQ. If your most prized possession is your EBT card . . . You might have a low IQ. If you think having an "...

I’m sleeping with my dad’s billionaire best friend. I headed to Mystic, Connecticut, a month ago to help a family friend, not seduce him. Mateo Steele. He’s a grump—damaged and broody. He is also a Grade A silver fox—former SEAL, with a fantastic body and beautiful blue-grey eyes. Being a 28-year-old virgin is a rarity, but I am ready to be broken open by this hot stud of a man. The problem is that he is off-limits. I started working at the beautiful Inn he built right on the water. While checking in guests, I’m checking him out. Mateo starts to let his guard down and saves me ...

The eagerly awaited new audiobook from the Emmy-winning, Oscar-hosting, Daily Show-anchoring Jon Stewart - the man behind the mega seller America (The Book). Where do we come from? Who created us? Why are we here? These questions have puzzled us since the dawn of time, but when it became apparent to Jon Stewart and the writers of The Daily Show that the world was about to end, they embarked on a massive mission to write a book that summed up the human race.

My brother’s best friend is dangerous, brutal, and violent. I’m about to beg him to pop my cherry. I’ve known Declan “Babyface” Cane for a long time. The championship-winning boxer is big, bad, and broody. He’s also completely off-limits. Saying no to Declan should be easy. But the champ hasn’t lost a fight yet. And I’m no match for big brown eyes and a great pair of mitts. One kiss and I’m down for the count. Can I survive falling for my brother’s best friend— Or is my heart asking for a Love TKO?

A gripping new novel from million-selling author Bernice Bloom "This is the best book yet. I loved it." Mary Brown heads to the beautiful island of St Lucia on the holiday of a lifetime. She’s planning to relax and take things easy. But on the second evening, while walking on the beach, she finds a purse buried in the sand. Inside it is a folded map, a key, and an invitation to a party on a boat the next evening. There’s also an identity card for someone called Cara Jeffries. And...thousands and thousands of dollars. The wallet does not have a phone number, so Mary heads to the boat ...

The Mayor was murdered? And a magical plant from my garden is to blame? Even if I wanted that jerk dead, running my Bed & Breakfast takes all my time. There’s no way I could sneak a murder into my busy schedule, but obviously, someone I know did. A plant stolen from my garden poisoned the Mayor. Who could have done this? And why would someone frame me? I'm certain that my hard-working assistant, the delivery driver, and my gardener are innocent. And I’m sure it wasn’t the sexy water witch who spends an absurd amount of time staying at my little Bed & Breakfast…but he does know way ...

I don’t do commitment. I barely do second dates. But with thirty on the horizon and my closest friends all finding their forever person, I can’t help but wonder… what if I’m wrong? One evening—and maybe one too many glasses of Chardonnay—we make a pact: the next guy we date, we marry. It sounds a little wild, but I’m tired of being the girl who always runs from love. So I take a chance. Three dates. One day. Just to see what’s out there. Then I meet Nash Campbell. A kind-hearted construction worker with an easy smile and the kind of quiet confidence that sneaks up on you. ...

All Georgie Turner wants is to keep her family together. But with her daughter growing up fast, her sister married to a man Georgie hates, and their aging aunt getting more and more outrageous, nothing’s simple. So when her brother-in-law makes his biggest mistake yet, Georgie sees the chance to reunite the ladies in her life. And after a little persuasion, three generations of Turner women head off on a very unusual road trip. Georgie’s confident that some sun, sea and a bottle or two of prosecco will make this an adventure they’ll never forget. What could possibly go wrong?