Humor Funny

When Mercy Watson the pig goes missing, all of Deckawoo Drive is in an uproar. The Watsons are inconsolable, and the local police, fire, and animal control departments are no help whatsoever. Bossy neighbor Eugenia Lincoln is not quite as sad as she might be, but thankfully her sister, Baby Lincoln, has the idea to hire a private investigator. Granted, Percival Smidgely, PI, may be more bumbler than gumshoe, but his pigeon, Polly, is there to point the way.

Here you have found a book so foul, so repulsive, so horrifying...that you will undoubtedly find yourself running to the nearest bathroom in an effort to both relieve your bowels and scrub your hands clean of its putrid filth. They have finally released this humorous collection of terrifying tales, despite the bitter public outcry which demanded these pages never see the light of day...and perhaps for good reason.

Are you tired of all the pressure to be successful, passionate, and productive? Good news—you don’t have to change! In this hilariously sarcastic anti-self-help guide, you'll learn the exact habits that guarantee you’ll never achieve your goals, find your purpose, or move out of your mom’s basement. From endless Netflix binges to blaming the universe for your problems, this book has everything you need to stay exactly where you are—forever. Packed with wit, irony, and brutally funny “advice,” this is the perfect gift for that friend who's "manifesting" from their couch (or ...

The heart wants what it can’t have. Chase is too forbidden and tempting, and that’s making me “chase” after him more. Well that… and the fact that he’s insanely gorgeous. Chase is my best friend’s big brother and she’s totally freaked out by us. The drama is more than I can handle. But I don’t blame her… not one bit. He’s so much older. A billionaire. I mean, what do I have to offer a billionaire? Nothing. Oh, except for my innocence. And then a secret baby. My life went from totally normal to completely stormy quite quickly. Now with a newborn baby on the way, I’m ...

Marriage doesn’t have to mean surrender. In Happy Wife, Happy Life: How to Keep Your Wife Happy Without Giving Up Your Manhood, readers are taken on a sharp, witty, and brutally honest journey through the unspoken compromises of modern relationships. From silent standoffs in Pottery Barn to the calendar politics of sex, dinner parties, and in-laws, this unapologetic survival guide for married men exposes how too many husbands are losing their voices—and their socks—in the name of peace. This isn’t another cheerfully neutered relationship manual or feel-good therapy session dressed ...

Hello! I’m Brian Limond, aka Limmy. You might know me from Limmy’s Show. Or you might not know me at all. Don’t worry if you don’t. They asked me to write a book about mental health, because I sometimes talk about my mental health in tweets and interviews, like suicidal thoughts and anxiety, and what I’ve done to try to deal with it. I said to them, oh, I don’t know if I could fill a whole book with just that. But how’s about I write a general autobiography type of thing, and all the mental health stuff will naturally appear along the way?

Get ready to set sail with "Salty Limericks," a hilarious and irreverent collection of poems that will leave you laughing out loud. Whether you're a sailor, a pirate, or simply a lover of the sea, these carefully crafted limericks are sure to entertain and delight. With clever wordplay and a dash of rudeness, each poem delivers a tasty punchline that will have you chortling with glee. Written by a skilled poet, these limericks are a true feast of fun, casting a net to drag a catch of wriggling, rib-tickling words to shore. And the best part? You can share them with your friends and family, ...

Hi, my name is Lydia, and I’m a gypsy. Or, I was a gypsy. Now, I’m not really sure what I am. What I do know is that I’m in trouble. That’s the reason why I’m in the process of moving to Haven Hollow: because I need the safety and protection only a hollow can offer. After a witch named Indigo walked into my occult shop and literally blew up, her soul affixed itself to mine, and now I’m basically possessed. To make matters worse? Whoever was responsible for Indigo going ‘boom’ knows she’s not exactly dead and gone. Which means he’s now after me. As if I didn’t have ...

When the Supreme Being and his son decide that being supreme isn't for them anymore, it's inevitable that things get a bit of a shake-up. It soon becomes apparent that our new owners, the Venturi brothers, have a very different perspective on all sorts of things. Take good and evil, for example. For them, it's an outdated concept that never worked particularly well in the first place.

Who are Dating Site Vampires? The women who can always be found on a date site, regardless of the hour. Many are there all night long before they return to their crypt to rest. There are stories of love and togetherness, but many stories are quite funny when you listen to them from their sources. Take a ride with me on a fantasy world trip and enjoy the humor you'll find.

The problem with books on how to raise kids is that all those other authors have PhDs, MDs, or kids. Luckily this author has none of those limiting factors. Instead, you get hilarious advice based on observations and assumptions with zero evidence. It’s advice that will help you be the best parent you can be whether you have a real job, a fancy job, or a trust fund. Learn the secrets to: Picking a Favorite Winning Kindergarten How to Hide from the Kids Sharing Aggressive Driving for Teens ...and much more terrible advice

Welcome to the self-help book for people who’ve tried all the "right" things—and somehow only made things worse. Affirmations? Failed. Gratitude journals? Turned passive-aggressive. Breathwork? You hyperventilated at Panera. If you've ever read a quote like "The universe gives you what you need" and wanted to throw your coffee mug across the room—this book is for you. In this hilariously unhinged, deliciously chaotic guide to inner dysfunction, Steven Doornbos shares 25 gloriously exaggerated “case studies” of modern-day people who followed the positivity path... straight into ...

The big day is finally here - Amelia Bedelia’s school, Oak Tree Elementary, is 100 years old, and the whole town is throwing a party. Best of all, a secret time capsule that has been buried for an entire century will finally be dug up and opened! Amelia Bedelia and her friends have some guesses about what they’ll find. Are they right? Or is everyone in for a big surprise?

El tío Manuel pensaba que los días silenciosos eran los mejores, Se relajaba en casa con un libro y tenía descansos mayores. Las fiestas ruidosas no eran del agrado del tío Manuel, En su cumpleaños su familia lo sorprendía con un pastel.

Big Nate is going for broke! Mighty Jefferson Middle School always wins. Then Nate decides it's time to go from zeroes to heroes! Will Nate crack under the pressure of the "Ultimate Snowdown"? Or lead P.S. 38 to its biggest victory ever?

When Dawn Fallon abandons her ambitions to be a professional musician and becomes a Civil Servant little does she realise she would be given a job as a VAT Control Officer - a job she struggles with on many levels, but with the help and support of her senior colleagues, she achieves a promotion, though finds the job no less difficult. The job brings her into contact with some bizarre situations and an interesting variety of business people. As she visits businesses to inspect their accounts for Value Added Tax purposes, researches whether sheep semen is taxable, grapples with solving why a ...

Meg Butler sets sail on the Grand Voyager on a luxury world cruise, eager to visit 30 countries before she's 30. But she hasn't planned on running into murder! The ship is hosting a Bingo tournament for the length of the cruise. Several passengers are competing for the grand prize which is rumored to be in six figures. Meg runs into a friendly older man who boasts of being a skilled player. He has developed a fool proof strategy that is guaranteed to win him big money. Meg is warmed by his affectionate manner toward her and feels he is the father figure she has always yearned for. Disaster ...

Nate’s a big deal in his scout troop... until Artur - aka Mr. Perfect - joins up. Now Nate’s stuck in second place. And Artur means business. Will Nate take the grand prize? Or wipe out, big time?

The iconic author of the best-selling phenomenon Crazy Rich Asians returns with the glittering tale of a young woman who finds herself torn between two men: the WASPY fiancé of her family's dreams and George Zao, the man she is desperately trying to avoid falling in love with.

Unleash the laughter with "Funny Jokes for 13 Year Old Teens," the ultimate joke collection that's perfect for teenagers and anyone young at heart!