Humor Funny

I got 99 problems, but the witch ain’t one of ‘em… Right. First problem? Maverick and his bad attitude are going to cause the death of me. Thank God he’s got Taliyah to keep him somewhat sane because otherwise, I’d start pulling my hair out. Not only is Maverick cramping my style big time, but then there’s the fact that I have to pretend that I’ve been turned into a vampire, so going out in the daytime is no longer a possibility. And try being High Witch to your coven when you can only come out at night… Meanwhile, I’m doing my very best to get Imani to join our ranks, and...

Edie Walker’s life is not going as planned. At thirty-five, she feels stuck: in her career, in her love life, and in her tiny San Francisco studio apartment. It doesn’t help that her best friend, Peter Masterson, is basically the über successful male version of her—and she’s hopelessly, unrequitedly in love with him. But when Peter breaks up with his girlfriend of seven years, Edie thinks her life might finally be turning around. He’ll discover how toxic dating app culture is and realize that Edie has been right for him all along.

Reconnect, Relive, and Rejoice: A Collection That Brings Laughter, Nostalgia, and Joy Are you searching for stories that captivate the hearts of your senior loved ones, sparking joy and treasured memories? Do you long for tales that evoke laughter, inspire reflection, and serve as a perfect bridge for meaningful family moments? You’re not alone. Many caregivers, children, and grandchildren struggle to find engaging stories that are relatable, entertaining, and uplifting. But worry no more—this heartwarming collection is here to transform reading into a cherished adventure filled with ...

On a desperate journey to recover her sister's lost soul, Valkyrie Cain goes up against the High Sanctuary itself, and there's nothing Skulduggery Pleasant can do to stop her. With Abyssinia's grand plan about to kick off in a night of magic, terror, and bloodshed, it falls to Omen Darkly to save the lives of thousands of innocent people. And as the madness unfolds around him, as hidden enemies step into the light, and as Valkyrie is sucked into a desperate, lawless quest of her own, he has no choice but to become the hero he never really wanted to be - or die in the attempt.

Sophie Sweet is a game programmer who adores three things: writing code; Doritos Surprise, the one thing she can cook; and her ride-or-die BFF Jodie Edwards. And only those three. To Sophie, people are a lousy bunch of jackasses who lie and leave when you need them most, so why bother? That goes double for "love," a ridiculous fairy tale sold to women to keep them subjugated and cooking things besides Doritos Surprise, which is madness. Sophie and Jodie have a tradition of getting their fortunes read at the carnival, but this year there's a new surprise in town-Tiffani the Psychic. The ...

Growing old gracefully is for sissies! Laugh uproariously through your senior years! There's no shame in finding humor in getting older. Aches and pains are not much fun, your body looks totally different than it did just a few years ago, you deal with forgetfulness, and life changes at an ever-increasing rate. If you don't laugh, you'll be miserable. To help you find the humor in life's situations, the "Old Guy Joke Book" is chock-full of snappy one-liners, puns, groan-worthy gags, and hilarious story jokes. All are fun, family-friendly, and sure to draw a chuckle! It's the perfect gift ...

A gripping new novel from million-selling author Bernice Bloom "This is the best book yet. I loved it." Mary Brown heads to the beautiful island of St Lucia on the holiday of a lifetime. She’s planning to relax and take things easy. But on the second evening, while walking on the beach, she finds a purse buried in the sand. Inside it is a folded map, a key, and an invitation to a party on a boat the next evening. There’s also an identity card for someone called Cara Jeffries. And...thousands and thousands of dollars. The wallet does not have a phone number, so Mary heads to the boat ...

More wonderful agony column questions, answered by Vernon Coleman; a qualified doctor, registered GP and bestselling author. Vernon Coleman is the author of over 100 books which have sold over two million copies in hardback and paperback in the UK and been translated into 24 languages. This book (like Book 1) contains a wealth of questions and answers taken from Dr Coleman's hugely popular advice column. The column appeared in The People in the UK and in magazines and newspapers around the world. Vernon Coleman's books include the medical bestsellers Bodypower and How To Stop Your Doctor ...

In Southport, North Carolina, a Christmas tale unfolds when 80-year-old George Ivers is left alone at home while his wife visits a sister for five days. George has to watch the cat he dislikes, resulting in a series of comical escapades. Picture a man who's a blend of the gruffness of Archie Bunker, the stone-age charm of Fred Flintstone, and the nearsighted blunders of Mr. Magoo, and you've got George. His days are filled with hilarious mishaps, from a battle of wits with a cheeky seagull to the relentless interruptions by neighbors. George's quest for peace is perpetually sabotaged by the...

Not all scars show Some wounds take time Clint This is my mountain. I grew up on Knotty Wood Ridge So when I had to walk away from my life as an Army Ranger, there was only one place to go— Home. The mountains of Colorado are wild and untamed. So is Chloe. I’ve never met anyone like the curvy brunette. As innocent and resolved as the wildflowers she’s determined to document. I came to the ridge to be alone. But I can’t hide from her. Welcome to Knotty Wood Ridge, Reader! Chloe is a nature photographer in search of an untamed mountain of a man. Clint is wild, free, and big enough to ...

Cole Fourth of July weekend at the lake. It’s bound to be hot. You know it’s going to get explosive. I arrive at my home away from home ready to relax for the long weekend. The last thing I’m expecting is to find a curvy, innocent blonde bombshell in trouble I know immediately that she’s meant to be mine forever The only problem? She’s my best friend’s daughter Looks like it’s going to be a scorcher No matter how many lines we cross I’ll protect her heart. Let Freedom Ring! Who’s ready for some fireworks?! Cole hasn’t seen his best friend’s daughter since she was an ...

When a high-roller requests Tiffany Black as his “lucky” dealer, she doesn't expect the tides of fortune to turn so quickly. She doesn't expect to be asked to leave the high-roller suites almost immediately. Nor does she expect the wealthy casino client to end up murdered. Unfortunately, that's exactly what does happen. Asked to investigate the client’s death by his son, Tiffany discovers that the man had an unpleasant way of doing business: the list of suspects spans the decades, and includes her friend Jack, who’s acting very strangely. Meanwhile “Stoney” shows up with a ...

Texas Tall Tales and Just Flat Out Lies. Now everybody knows that Texas is a big place and Texans are proud of that fact. Everything in Texas is big, at least that’s the way a Texan thinks of it. So by their very nature they are prone to exaggerate, just a little bit. Well, maybe a lot! So for your entertainment you’re going to read a few of those Texas Tall Tales. Now to be truthful you never really know if they’re true or not, but you’ll have to decide that for yourself.

A Past He Never Knew A Future He Never Knew He Wanted Oliver I came to Knotty Wood Ridge to make my demons disappear. But there are some scars even time can’t erase. I like peace, quiet, and most of all, solitude. Oakley turns up on my mountain, dragging a baby and a backpack full of old memories with her. And she swears they both belong to me. But the baby she’s carrying isn’t the only thing that’s mine, Her innocent curves belong to me now. I’ll keep her safe. I’ll keep them both safe. No matter what. Whoa, Baby! Climb back on up to Knotty Wood Ridge, readers. Oliver is a ...

Trenton, New Jersey, bounty hunter Stephanie Plum has inherited a "lucky" bottle from her Uncle Pip. Problem is, Uncle Pip didn't specify if the bottle brought good luck or bad luck.

This town is going to be the death of me… For a small town, you’d think being the Chief of Police would be a fairly easy gig, right? Not on your life. Haven Hollow is proving to be the hardest job I’ve ever had. If I’m not dealing with bitchy faeries trying to usurp a court I have no interest in ruling, I’m dealing with a curse that’s got the whole town unable to sleep. Right—Nyquil on Aisle 9 and stat. If only it could be that easy. Instead, I’m going on little to no sleep, myself, while the town is basically falling apart. I’ve got to figure out who’s responsible for ...

A thrilling collection of the first eight Samantha Moon short stories, including: Teeth - What happens when a child is born with a rare throwback gene, a gene that produces two exceptionally long teeth? Vampire Nights - Samantha Moon meets someone unexpected on a late night trip to Denny's, someone who seems to know all her secrets and has all the answers. Vampire Blues - Samantha Moon discovers that even a routine case can offer a few surprises―and that not all men are created equal. Vampire Dreams - Samantha Moon sets out to find the answer to a mysterious, haunting dream...a dream in ...

Dookie is a poop munching bug in need of cash. Pierre is a praying mantis with a mind for business but has a name on his head. Can these insects help one another before it's too late? Dookie is far from a typical poop-rolling dung beetle. Disappointed he didn't get an iPoo for Christmas, Dookie needs to find a way to earn some dung dollars. After a failed business venture, Dookie's luck changes when a praying mantis moves in next door. The entrepreneurial mantis turns a local diarrhea outbreak into a poop theme park wonderland the dung beetle community can enjoy. So finally for Dookie, the ...

Embark on a deliciously chaotic journey through the cosmos with "The Cosmic Cook-Off," a wildly inventive science fiction comedy that blends culinary chaos with intergalactic absurdity. In this sixth book of the acclaimed Doctor Felix Bumblesnap series, join a brilliant and maddeningly unpredictable scientist, as he and his skeptical team—including the pragmatic Captain Abby Sparks, the philosophical smoothie enthusiast Bobo, and the diligent sanitation robot VGR—venture into the heart of the Galactic Gastronomy Gauntlet. This isn't just any cooking competition; it's a thrilling race ...

Please do NOT buy this book (or any in this series) expecting it to be anything like the Bilbury series. Just Another Bloody Year describes a year in Vernon Coleman's bizarre and tempestuous life. Comes with many health warnings. Unsuitable for the overly sensitive and the politically correct.This book contains no fats, saturated or otherwise. It is not a toy and is unsuitable for children under three years if age. It may contain nuts. May have been written in a building where salt, mustard, ketchup and other condiments are used. Passages written when the author was under stress, upset or ...