Humor Funny

The stories in this work include parodies of long-standing genres and original tales of irreverent occurrence. Each story involves humor that neither conforms to political correctness or social standards of good taste. These stories are not for the weak-hearted. These stories are for adults and include profanity, violence, sex, degenerate behavior, and spectacular drama and action. You may even find a moral or two thrown in somewhere amongst them. If you do, it was completely accidental. Found in this esteemed collection are these gems: Lust For Luscious Sherlock Jerkweed and the Case of ...

I’m finally going to Blood Rose Academy, where I’ll be trained in witch magic, and I can’t wait… Except Blood Rose Academy isn’t exactly how I hoped it would be. First off, the witches are all catty and hex-happy, and I’ve been targeted as their newest victim. And if that weren’t bad enough, there’s a longstanding feud between the witches and the vampires, which means all vampires hate the witches and vice-versa. Maybe that wouldn’t suck so hard (no pun intended) if I didn’t sorta, kinda have a crush on one of the vamps—a loner named Rook, who happens to be the ...

First in the brand new "Misty Hollow" Paranormal Women’s Fiction series from #1 Amazon bestseller J.R. Rain and New York Times bestseller H.P. Mallory! My name is Marina Estuary, and I’m a mermaid. Actually, I’m a lot more than a mermaid—I’m a siren, but I have to keep that little tidbit on the down-low. Why? Because anyone who hears the song of the siren will either lose their mind or become desperately in love with me. That’s usually a buzzkill to most people. Anyway, not only am I a siren-in-hiding, but I’m also a private investigator. And I’ve been called to the newest ...

Paranormal Women’s Fiction from #1 Amazon bestseller, J.R. Rain, and New York Times bestseller, H.P. Mallory! The latest Haven Hollow novel is here! Things have been going decently lately—my new business, Hallowed Homes, is growing and my relationship with my brother, Angelo, has never been better. My love life is still a mess, but what else is new, right? And, yes, I still have a massive crush on Marty Zach, even if there are rumors he’s now dating my friend, Poppy. Crappy love life aside, everything is about to go to hell in a handbasket when an exotic woman named Rhea walks into my...

Michael’s first book ended with his big break at the 2006 Royal Variety Performance. Waking up the next morning in the tiny rented flat he shared with his wife, Kitty, and their one-year-old son, he was beyond excited about the new glamorous world of show business. Unfortunately, he was also clueless. In A Funny Life, Michael honestly and hilariously shares the highs and the lows of his rise to the top and desperate attempts to stay there.

All Georgie Turner wants is to keep her family together. But with her daughter growing up fast, her sister married to a man Georgie hates, and their aging aunt getting more and more outrageous, nothing’s simple. So when her brother-in-law makes his biggest mistake yet, Georgie sees the chance to reunite the ladies in her life. And after a little persuasion, three generations of Turner women head off on a very unusual road trip. Georgie’s confident that some sun, sea and a bottle or two of prosecco will make this an adventure they’ll never forget. What could possibly go wrong?

Tiffany, Ian and Nanna are off at sea - ready to have an amazing time on board the Swan of the Seas. A murder on board means that Tiffany is persuaded by the cruise director, Kelly, and the Captain to investigate... for some reason, the social media manager, Addi, also seems to be sleuthing around... Praise for A.R. Winters: "Fans of Stephanie Plum, meet Tiffany Black, A.R. Winters's new heroine." - Rea, Amazon.com "You fall in love with Tiffany Black from the start, and the mystery starts immediately" - Melissa Greenberg, Amazon.com Top 1000 Reviewer "The perfect balance of being ...

The Woke—that humorless, joyless, shame-inducing virus—are killing comedy…and that is great for comedians! So argues award-winning comedian Lou Perez in his hilarious and provocative book debut, That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore. Through the lens of comedy, Lou examines anti-racism, sex, gender, cancel culture, and all the modern-day sacred cows that have been propped up in recent years. An equal-opportunity offender, nothing is safe from his mockery. Lou punches up, he punches down—he’s throwing haymakers in every direction!

For more than two decades, Gerry Dee has made audiences laugh, first as a hard-working stand-up comedian, and then as the star of his own CBC television program, Mr. D. Dee became a physical education teacher, thinking he would have it made: coaching, summers off and a good pension. But he found himself dreaming of a career in comedy, until one day, years later, he turned in his teaching certificate and picked up a microphone. He went on to become one of Canada’s top comics.

Paranormal Women’s Fiction from #1 Amazon bestseller, J.R. Rain, and New York Times bestseller, H.P. Mallory! When Lorcan and I fail to dissolve the blood bond yet again (this time quite an embarrassing one), I’m at my wit’s end. The last thing I need is my cantankerous cat delivering a wax-sealed letter that I’m worried might be from my mother. But once I open the letter, I realize it’s an invitation to a witch assembly sent from High Witch, Scarlett Velardi. The only snag? In order to attend, I’ll need to form my own coven. Forming my own coven aside, I quickly realize the ...

Blood tells all. Vervain Lavine has been through Hell. Two Hells actually, one of which she's been barred from. Despite all that, things are going pretty well for the Godhunter. At least they were until she turned on the news. Crops across America are dying, children in Hawaii are missing, and havoc is being wrecked upon her nightclub, Moonshine. It's obviously God messing with her again but which one is it this time? There's so many gods who want her dead these days. Then one wrong word sends her tumbling into an unknown realm. A strange place filled with even stranger beings who seem to ...

This book was previously published as “The Babysitter’s First Menage” by Reba Bale. Sammie has a big secret – and it involves her older boss! The college co-ed works as a daytime nanny for Mr. and Mrs. Ruiz after her morning classes. While Mr. Ruiz works at home, Sammie watches the baby. Except sometimes when the baby is taking his nap, Sammie takes care of her boss instead. She knows it’s wrong, but the handsome older man makes her feel things that she’s never felt before. Naughty things. Until the day Mrs. Ruiz unexpectedly comes home to find Sammie kissing her husband. The ...

A food thief is on the loose in the Five Streets—and only one cat is clever enough to catch them. Jack is no ordinary feline. He knows every alley, scent, and secret across the Five Streets. When food begins vanishing from trusted hideaways and no cat will talk, Jack takes the case. He is determined to uncover who, or what, is behind the thefts that are shaking the balance of power in his once orderly world. But as Jack digs deeper, he uncovers something more sinister than hunger. Whispers of betrayal. Shadows that move without sound. A threat that could change everything the street cats ...

I was sent to kill her. I fell in love with her instead. There’s only one rule in my line of work: kill or be killed. I was raised to be the best. A cold-blooded assassin. Until tonight. Until Dahlia. She’s looking for vengeance. I came for blood. One kiss might just kill us both.

Are Amelia Bedelia and her friends barking up the wrong tree? Recess just got super exciting. Amelia Bedelia and her friends are on the playground when they hear a strange noise coming from a nearby tree. It’s a tiny kitten stuck on a high branch! It’s up to Amelia Bedelia and her friends to figure out how to rescue the kitten and, once they do, to find the little cat a purr-fect new home!

When the Supreme Being and his son decide that being supreme isn't for them anymore, it's inevitable that things get a bit of a shake-up. It soon becomes apparent that our new owners, the Venturi brothers, have a very different perspective on all sorts of things. Take good and evil, for example. For them, it's an outdated concept that never worked particularly well in the first place.

Todd Heller is an arrogant ER physician who stubbornly denies the existence of God. A ministering angel forces him back in time to the harsh, primitive culture of ancient Israel so he can witness the miracles of Jesus with his own eyes. Meticulously researched for historical accuracy, this plot is woven into the gospel account of the final year of Christ’s ministry. Christians who fantasize about going back in time to witness the miracles of Jesus will enjoy the realistic depiction of life in ancient Israel as experienced from a 21st century mentality. This novel is the sequel to The ...

Paranormal Women’s Fiction from #1 Amazon bestseller, J.R. Rain, and New York Times bestseller, H.P. Mallory! It’s two days until Halloween in Haven Hollow and Astrid is feeling the holiday blues. After being kicked out of her coven, the young witch is missing the holiday festivities she’s grown up with, and she’s also upset about a boy. Not to mention she’s perplexed over the subject of what she should gift to Wanda for the most important night of the witching calendar (known as ‘Samhain’). When Astrid’s ne’er-do-well brother, Maverick, reaches out, Astrid is over the ...

The Porridge Eaters of Strathclyde A Highland Romance Like No Other! For generations, the McSporrans and the Oatbanes have been at war over the one true way to eat porridge—thick and salted or smooth and honeyed. The feud has raged for centuries, with oatcakes used as weapons and spurtles wielded like swords. But when Fenella McSporran, a fiery lass with a stirring arm strong enough to take down a charging bull, finds herself falling for the enemy, scandal erupts like a pot left to boil over. Hamish Oatbane, a rogueishly handsome warrior with biceps carved from years of porridge-stirring,...

Funny quotes are great; they allow us to take a quick break, relax, and take life a bit easier. And who doesn’t need those in today’s hectic life? Whether you are looking for an innovative way to cheer yourself up and deal with the daily stresses, stay focused and motivated, or simply trying to find a fantastic gift for a friend or a loved one, 500 Funny Quotes for Women could be a perfect choice!