Humor Funny

Introduction: From the Desk of Mr. Dill Pickles (Your Resident Feline Genius) Congratulations, human. You've done something right once in your life! You're holding the definitive guide to life, courtesy of me, Mr. Dill Pickles. Yes, that Mr. Dill Pickles. Feline extraordinaire. Wisdom dispenser. Nap enthusiast. Tuna connoisseur. And now, apparently, author. You might be wondering, “What qualifies a cat to give life advice?” First of all, rude. Second, have you seen your species lately? You're overworked, under-rested, glued to glowing rectangles, and you willingly eat kale. Clearly, ...

How do you take on the most powerful organization of the supernatural world? One death at a time. A thousand years in the making, the Council finally has created their strongest weapon. What they didn’t expect was for her to target them. Forged by the pits of the underworld, Brooklyn plays her part all too well until the assassination of her friend. It was meant to send Brooklyn a message. What it did instead was unleash an uncontrolled rage that threatens the Council’s very existence. Each target tips the moral compass and realigns who is friend and who is foe. Unified by necessity, ...

Mrs. Entwhistle meets a discontented Amish girl, Anna May, who is looking to make some changes in her life. When she comes for a visit, Mrs. Entwhistle has a front-row seat to witness what happens when worlds collide. Anna May wrestles with the choices that will shape the rest of her life, and Mrs. Entwhistle treads a fine line between minding her own business and her natural inclination to solve other people’s problems. Maxine, Mrs. Entwhistle’s best friend, decides to turn her home into a bed and breakfast, the Amish Inn, and hires Anna May as hostess. A diverse group of people gather...

Major Ava Sharpe decided three years ago that her sister Hannah would stay with her while she recovered from injuries she received while deployed in the Middle East. Now retired and an MCJROTC High School Teacher with her best friend retired Captain Alex Danvers and retired Sargent Major Mick Rory. But Hannah being naturally clumsy as she is does some damage to the ligaments in her ankle and a small fracture leads her to needed some physical therapy. However the physical therapist one Retired Army Captain Sara Lance has Ava regretting she ever stepped foot into the place.

In this fifth book in the Magykal series, Septimus ends up on a captivatingly beautiful island, one of seven set in a sparkling sea. He's stranded there with his badly injured dragon, Spit Fyre, along with Jenna and Beetle. There are some strange things about the island, including a Magykal girl named Syrah, a cat-shaped lighthouse that has lost its Light, and an eerie presence that sings to Septimus - can he escape the persistent call?

Devastatingly handsome and insanely rich, Farrell Covington is capable of anything and impossible to resist. He’s a clear-eyed romantic, an aesthete but not a snob, self-indulgent yet wildly generous. As the son of one of the country’s most powerful and deeply conservative families, the world could be his. But when he falls for Nate Reminger, an aspiring writer from a nice Jewish family in Piscataway, New Jersey, the results are passionate and catastrophic. Together, the two embark on a unique romance that spans half a century.

Tony Soprano, meet Stephanie Plum. #1 Amazon Bestselling mystery series in Humor & Cozy Mystery To try a Lacey Luzzi book for free, please sign up for my newsletter at www.ginalamanna.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Love is in the air at Casa Luzzi! Hearts, stars, and tiny gel-cling cupids line the windows while Meg, Clay, Anthony, and Lacey struggle to navigate the waters of their new and (mostly) improved relationships. But it's not all sunshine and sprinkles over at the Luzzi Estate. With Marissa and Clarissa on the run from home, Lacey...

This audiobook is filled with fun for all ages, complete with jokes, riddles, and silly games to make you laugh. The audiobook is broken up into five sections, beginning with a fun, silly game, followed by jokes and riddles.

Newbery Medal-winner Cynthia Rylant tells a charming story about the joys of sharing and teamwork. Every year, Henry makes a funny lunch for his mom on Mother's Day. This year, he will make a pineapple sofa! Henry and his dad head to the grocery store with Mudge, who gets to come in because everybody loves him. Mudge spends his time sniffing the Fruity Puffs and Cocoa Chews and eating crackers and a lollipop. Then they all head home to make Mom's special meal.

All it takes is a few underhanded moves by a tough ex-cop named Eppick to pull thief John Dortmunder into a game he never wanted to play. With no choice, he sets out on a perilous treasure hunt for a long-lost gold and jewel-studded chess set once intended as a birthday gift for the last Romanov czar. Success is not inevitable with Dortmunder leading the attack, but he's nothing if not persistent, and some gambit or other might just stumble into a winning move.

Stephanie Plum may not be the best bounty hunter in beautiful downtown Trenton, but she's pretty darn good at turning bad situations her way . . . and she always gets her man. In To the Nines, her cousin Vinnie (who's also her boss) has posted bail on Samuel Singh, an illegal immigrant. When the elusive Mr. Singh goes missing, Stephanie is on the case. But what she uncovers is far more sinister than anyone imagines and leads to a group of killers who give new meaning to the word hunter.

The UnNamed Traveler is BACK! From Alaska, to the D-Day beaches, to Morocco, to Israel, to India, and even to Vietnam, he brings back 24 more stories of adventures—and misadventures!—from around the world! He might even have some actual travel advice here for you! Wake up your travel dreams with his new, humorous book!!

The monsters delight when a prey falls into their lair until their den becomes the prison for the beasts. Trusting Daywalkers is dangerous. Double-crossing them is suicide. When death falls on her doorstep, agent Francesca Drake goes undercover inside the Daywalkers Academy. Desperate to prove herself she forgets the number one rule. Only the pure bloods are welcomed. Entering a world where she can never measure up, suddenly she’s surprised to find that she sets the standard. Sadly, for Francesca, not everyone agrees to this new trend. Each secret uncovers a path to betrayal, that shakes ...

Marriage? It can be absolute murder. The royal wedding looms and Felicity can think of little else … until a member of her dream team is arrested for attempted murder. Doris, a long-time friend and superstar florist, stands accused of attempting to kill half a dozen brides, their bouquets poisoned with an unknown toxin. Ordered not to interfere by the hateful Chief Inspector Quinn, Felicity is determined to find the real person behind the bizarre crimes and clear her friend’s name – Doris must be innocent, right? But Felicity is not exactly known for her sleuthing skills. If anything,...

The daughter of a Taiwanese father and white mother, Vi Liu has never quite fit into her Midwestern college town. Aimless after getting dumped by her boyfriend and dropping out of college, Vi works at the front desk of a hotel where she greets guests, refills cucumber water samovars, and tries to evade her bubbly blond coworker, Rachel. Little does Vi know her life is about to be permanently transformed when she agrees to a night out with Rachel. In the alley outside the bar, Vi discovers a strange blob—a small living creature with beady black eyes.

Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.

The alien invasion was the least of anybody's problems. Out of the blue, a strange alien mothership appears in the sky. At first, it just hangs there, making no apparent attempts to communicate with the people of Earth. But pretty soon the White House is a hole in the ground, and glowing translucent spheres are abducting people from the streets. In order to avert further disaster, Satan, former King on Hell but now exiled on Earth, teams up with his best buddy and travel back to Hell to get a piece of tech that could send the aliens packing. But little do they know that the aliens, the ...

After a bump on the head in gym class on April Fool's Day, Nikki has a wild dream in which she, her BFFs Chloe and Zoey, her crush Brandon, and mean girl Mackenzie all end up playing the roles of some familiar classic fairy tale characters. Of course, the stories don’t go quite as expected - because they each have a very special Dork Diaries spin!

Nazis are bad. The worst kind of bad. There are no very fine people among them. If you disagree, you won’t like this book. Still here? Cool. You are about to receive an education unlike any you’ve previously experienced. In this uproarious and informative tour from ancient times to the modern day and everything in between, James Fell, the self-proclaimed “sweary historian,” reveals a past replete with deeds both noble and despicable. Throughout the book, he provides insightful analysis of all the sh!t that went down. Behold!

Book 1: THE PARTY INVITATION! Middle school was supposed to be simple: survive classes, avoid humiliation, and maybe not trip over your own feet. But for eleven-year-old Avery, it’s more like a reality show called Surviving Middle School: Awkward Edition. With her besties Claire and Ellie dishing out constant warnings about her life choices, Avery is just trying to dodge gym class disasters, keep her locker shut, and avoid the cafeteria pizza (which might be alive). Then, the unthinkable happens—she gets invited to the birthday party. Not just any party, but Mackenzie Harper’s, the ...