Humor Funny

Swearing off love was easy. Then two men and one dating pact complicated everything. After one too many heartbreaks (and one stolen-shoes incident I’m still not over), I made a pact with my friends: the next guy I date, I marry. Cute in theory. Terrifying in practice. Especially when Marcus Hann strolls into the Cozy Cottage Café looking like every swoony book boyfriend rolled into one. Handsome, charming, and so into me it’s almost suspicious. Obviously, he’s my Last First Date. I mean, fate, right? Except my well-meaning friends already picked someone for me. Josh Bentley, the pun-...

“In the beginning, there was the phone. And it was good. Too good.” Once upon a time, humans walked the earth with their heads held high — literally. They made eye contact. They talked. With their actual mouths. These strange, ancient beings — let’s call them Pre-iZombians — read physical books, made awkward small talk in elevators, and suffered the cruel torment of waiting in line without entertainment. It was a savage, barbaric time. Then came the glow. It began innocently enough: a message here, a selfie there, a map to avoid the existential terror of asking for directions. ...

If you’re a thirty-year-old, Southern male from a Christian family and have never brought a girl home to meet Momma, then you must secretly be up to no good. And if you also happen to be an only son with five older, happily married sisters, the pressure to find the one and only love of your life is like digging through a pile of leaves for the pin to the grenade you’re holding. Those were the first two lines of the first video post of Mark Griffin’s to go viral, and his popularity has steadily risen over the two years since. He decides to use his platform to find someone to share ...

It's the 1970s and newly qualified GP Edward Vernon has taken a job as an assistant to an elderly general practitioner in a small town in the English midlands. It is his first job in general practice; his first brave excursion into the dangerous world where patients walk round in their clothes. Dr Vernon soon finds himself bemused, fascinated and exhausted as he copes with the procession of ailing humanity that streams into his surgery and awaits his visits. A confused old lady, timid vet, puzzled diabetic, lonely housewife, hypochondriac, tipster with an ulcer, nun with dandruff and a ...

Dookie is a poop munching bug in need of cash. Pierre is a praying mantis with a mind for business but has a name on his head. Can these insects help one another before it's too late? Dookie is far from a typical poop-rolling dung beetle. Disappointed he didn't get an iPoo for Christmas, Dookie needs to find a way to earn some dung dollars. After a failed business venture, Dookie's luck changes when a praying mantis moves in next door. The entrepreneurial mantis turns a local diarrhea outbreak into a poop theme park wonderland the dung beetle community can enjoy. So finally for Dookie, the ...

Uncover the ridiculously funny life of teachers (and some things that have nothing to do with teachers but are still splendidly funny) according to James Campbell, comedian extraordinaire. Ever wondered what teachers do when they’re not in the classroom? Are they undercover detectives, champion roller-blade dancers or do they spend their evenings playing with their 576 cats? Whether you love or loathe your teachers, want to become one when you grow up or don't give two figs about your teacher but simply love a hilarious listen, this audiobook is for you.

A glitter explosion. A ruined poster. A mystery sandwich. Welcome to Marie Lane’s messiest week ever. Twelve-year-old Marie Lane has big plans to win her school’s kindness poster contest—until a spilled paint cup, a very sparkly dog, and a bad case of Tuesday ruin everything. But just when things feel hopeless, Marie turns her glittery disaster into a message from the heart: “Kindness isn’t always neat. But it always matters.” What follows is a week full of awkward apologies, anonymous acts of kindness, and one sandwich that just might change everything. With humor, heart, and a...

They said she was special. That she had a bright future. It wasn't a lie, but they didn't say that was necessarily a good thing. Clara Cassidy was a C student just trying to get by in life. Nothing had worked out as she planned and now she spent her days without purpose or attachments. All of that changed suddenly when an elderly woman knocked on her door. 'Magic is real,' the woman insisted and offered her a spot at Crossedlake University, a school for rising stars in the casting world. Clara didn't buy it. Not until she accidentally touched the woman's staff and her world exploded into a ...

It’s not easy to be a good girl in Sin City. Especially when you fall for a bad man. I live by the rules. Las Vegas is not for the faint of heart. If you’re not careful, the city will chew you up and spit you out. For five years, I’ve avoided temptation. Until my life changes one explosive night. Jackson Young is everything I’ve sworn to stay away from. Violent. Dangerous. Sexy. Jax makes me want to throw the rule book out the window. I just hope my heart survives the fall.

Check your sensibilities at the door and enter a world of side-splitting humor from the master of raunchy jokes! If you enjoyed the first volume of Jokes against Humanity, wait till you read Vol 2! This is real, no-holds-barred, adult humor at its finest! The jokes are not for everyone, especially if you offend easily, but I do hope the rest of you can check your sensibilities long enough to enjoy the wit and humor of these jokes and LOL with me!

Izzy, her boyfriend, and her holiday-crashing neighbor, Etta, are off to the driest, flattest, and most infertile inhabited continent on earth - where even the cutest of creatures might try to kill you. But that’s only the beginning of their problems. A Taste Society courier goes missing. And 26 hours after Izzy lands in Australia, a crocodile is found dead. With a human corpse inside. Not quite the start to her relaxing holiday she’d been hoping for.

She’s not lazy—she’s calculating. She’s not rude—she’s selective. And she’s not just a cat—she’s Sometimes, the most unpredictable (and snack-driven) secret agent the world has never heard of. Sometimes enjoys sunny naps, occasional ear scritches, and ignoring you when you call her name. But behind her twitchy tail and slow blinks lies a feline force of mystery, suspense, and clever espionage. As a top agent in the Purrfect Detective Agency, Sometimes faces off against enemies who manipulate memory, bend time, and steal more than just tuna. This 35-chapter adventure blends...

Perfect the art of Schadenfreude from your own armchair as you wonder who left the lid of the idiot box open. Laugh at the dumb and dumber from the comfort of your own toilet seat. Wonder at the stupidity of man with hilarious anecdotes spanning time and history and culture.

The Quilting Fairy Isn’t Coming: Confessions of a Quilter’s Studio is a humorous and heartfelt celebration of the beautiful chaos that resides inside every quilter’s creative space. Packed with laugh-out-loud observations, real-life stitching struggles, and tender moments of fabric-fueled joy, this book is your permission slip to embrace the mess, cherish the quirks, and love every wobbly seam. From ruler obsessions and midnight stitch marathons to UFO guilt and bobbin drama, these witty chapters offer the perfect blend of sass, truth, and thready wisdom. Whether you're a seasoned ...

When the author was born, his mother did the unthinkable. She gave him a girl’s name—Stacey. But Stacey’s name was just the first hurdle he’d face in his uphill climb from birth to manhood. He also had to deal with an entitled older brother, the hodgepodge of different men his mother was involved with, and the nomadic lifestyle he was forced to endure for five years. And to top it all off, his mother couldn’t cook a decent meal to save her life. Trailer Trash, With a Girl’s Name is Stacey Roberts’ lighthearted, often hilarious account of growing up in an unstable household ...

Penguin presents Funny Bones: The Collection by Allan Ahlberg, read by Stephen Mangan. An audio collection of the perennially popular Funny Bones books by Allan Ahlberg. Featuring: Funnybones, The Pet Shop, The Black Cat, Bumps in the Night, Give the Dog a Bone, Dinosaur Dreams, Skeleton Crew and Mystery Tour.

Sophie Sweet is a game programmer who adores three things: writing code; Doritos Surprise, the one thing she can cook; and her ride-or-die BFF Jodie Edwards. And only those three. To Sophie, people are a lousy bunch of jackasses who lie and leave when you need them most, so why bother? That goes double for "love," a ridiculous fairy tale sold to women to keep them subjugated and cooking things besides Doritos Surprise, which is madness. Sophie and Jodie have a tradition of getting their fortunes read at the carnival, but this year there's a new surprise in town-Tiffani the Psychic. The ...

Connie has had bad luck with coworkers ever since her lemonade stand partners pushed her out at the age of six. In her debut collection of humor essays, Connie provides entertainment with hysterical stories about awkward workplace situations, ridiculous coworkers, and enough happy hour cocktails to make you question her life choices. From low paying high school gigs to “real world” marketing jobs in Chicago, Connie presents stories about life both in and out of the office that will have you laughing out loud in the break room.

Little Monster has something very important to tell you. It is okay to become sad or angry with your friends, but under no circumstances should you try to nibble them. Remember, don't eat your friends! This book for early readers has about 900 words and 14 illustrations.

Being a hybrid dungeon core is complicated. Sarah’s being hunted by a kingdom, courted by a lich lord, interrogated by a magical library—and invited to far too many bureaucratic meetings. The kingdom wants her essence for an ancient apocalyptic ritual. The undead sorcerer wants her as the key to godhood. Sarah? She just wants five minutes without magical paperwork, assassination attempts disguised as tax audits, or armies trying to storm her defenses. Armed with snark, monsters, and questionable allies—including a runaway princess with suspiciously useful knowledge—Sarah must outwit...