Humor Funny

If you're a cat and you've learnt Pigeonese . . . (HA HA HA! As if a cat would be smart enough to learn Pigeonese). This must mean if you are a cat and you are able to read this, you have taken a pigeon hostage so that you can trick them into translating the Pigeonese words into Meow. I demand you release the hostage pigeon now. My book contains TOP SECRET ideas that are NONE of a cat's business.

Sometimes there are just too many rules, even when you are set to be a ruler someday... Princess Pamela will one day be Queen of England, but all she really wants is a little freedom. So she escapes Buckingham palace, and adventure ensues... Escape from Buckingham Palace combines Arthurian legend and Leonard Wibberley's trademark humor to give the reader a wry commentary on government that's organized, nationalized, impersonalized, bureaucratized, and held together by red tape. Also published under the title, The Quest of Excalibur. "Few writers have so luxuriant an imagination as that ...

An all-new collection of eight "Vampire for Hire" short stories featuring everyone's favorite vampire detective, Samantha Moon! It’s all inside, including: Vampire Requiem - Samantha Moon gets up close and personal with her dead ex-husband’s mistress, Nancy, who might be a woman who knows too much. Moon Love - Sam and Kingsley Fulcrum set their sights on a romantic weekend getaway to Big Bear, California, only to find themselves on the hunt for a runaway boy. Moon Musings - Sam is back and... blogging? Turns out the vampire mama has a lot to say on the subject of life, death, and ...

A wonderfully funny sequel to The Mouse That Roared. The Duchy of Grand Fenwick, the world's smallest country, whose army of 20 longbow men defeated the United States in The Mouse that Roared is back again. While the Americans and the Soviets are racing to claim the moon, Grand Fenwick's famous physicist makes the perfect rocket fuel from the zingiest wine in the world and the SPACE RACE IS ON! Books in The Grand Fenwick Series: Books 2 through 5 are best read after The Mouse That Roared, but all of the books can be read and enjoyed at any point in the series. Book 1: The Mouse That Roared ...

She’s settling into a new life. But when a fishing trip totally capsizes, can she get a friend off the hook for murder? Elizabeth Trout still feels awkward living back home. Discovering a BFF from her raucous high-school days has become the perfect mom is as weird as staying with her mother while awaiting construction of her new home. But she’s shaken to her core when her newlywed husband and beloved dog are nearly blown out of the water in a dockside explosion which leaves another woman dead … and her bestie is arrested for the crime. To clear her friend, Elizabeth and her spouse set...

The Messiah is back… and he's not thrilled about it. Imagine waking up and realizing you’re the Second Coming—except you're a Yankees fan, love beer and pizza, confused, and would really rather not. Meet Jesus 2.0: a reluctant savior dropped into an end-of-the-world mess complete with divine deadlines, angelic HR reps, and a prophecy no one remembers writing. If you enjoy: 🔥 Satirical fiction with bite 📚 Dark comedy in the vein of Good Omens or Hitchhiker's Guide 🙃 Twisted takes on religion, destiny, and cosmic red tape... Then you’ll love this irreverent, thought-provoking...

My brother’s best friend is dangerous, brutal, and violent. I’m about to beg him to pop my cherry. I’ve known Declan “Babyface” Cane for a long time. The championship-winning boxer is big, bad, and broody. He’s also completely off-limits. Saying no to Declan should be easy. But the champ hasn’t lost a fight yet. And I’m no match for big brown eyes and a great pair of mitts. One kiss and I’m down for the count. Can I survive falling for my brother’s best friend— Or is my heart asking for a Love TKO?

I’m the chosen one... ...wait – what?? Okay, not the chosen one, but I’m the newest member of the Sorority of Brigid, a group of witches tasked to keep other witches safe and secret. At twenty-one, some days I don’t even feel up to defending my breakfast choices, never mind the witches of New Hampshire. The Fraternity of Free Witches has a different plan. Of course they do. Was there ever a secret group that didn’t have a rival? Rather than play nicely, they want to rule the world but I’m not about to let that happen. If they get their way, it’s going to be very bad for the ...

The problem with books on how to raise kids is that all those other authors have PhDs, MDs, or kids. Luckily this author has none of those limiting factors. Instead, you get hilarious advice based on observations and assumptions with zero evidence. It’s advice that will help you be the best parent you can be whether you have a real job, a fancy job, or a trust fund. Learn the secrets to: Picking a Favorite Winning Kindergarten How to Hide from the Kids Sharing Aggressive Driving for Teens ...and much more terrible advice

Here is the second volume in this series, introduced due to great demand from readers of other volumes of Jokes by us. Are you fed up of reading the same old tired jokes? One-liners that bore you to death? Then here is a set of jokes that are fresh and hilarious. We have tried to avoid one-liners and present only substantial jokes that makes one to laugh. They are also good to illustrate a point in public speeches and classroom situations. Here are a few salient points: *** We have tried to select jokes that are mostly uncommon *** We have evaluated each joke by narrating it to our friends ...

This is an original-content joke book for adults who don’t get excited very easily. If you can enter a nightmare with an unaltered pulse and respond to a hellscape with a barely perceptible smile, the odd amusements within these pages should at least pluck a lip muscle.

America's favorite bounty hunter is back behind the wheel in her fifth hilarious, high-octane thriller. Out of bail skippers and rent money, Stephanie Plum strikes out on her own. Okay, so a scumball blows himself to bits on her first day of policing a crack house, and the sheik she was chauffeuring steals the limo. But hey, nobody's perfect.

This book was previously published as “Exploring His Fantasy” by Reba Bale. Is there room in their marriage for another man to join them? After ten years of marriage, Brooke finally tells her husband her ultimate fantasy: a ménage a trois -- with two men. Michael has always been staunchly straight, so he is shocked when Brooke’s suggestion brings up a secret desire to have his first gay experience. A Marriage Survival Retreat seems like the perfect opportunity for them to explore their secret desires and have a hot adventure in a safe environment. When they’re matched up with an ...

Fake dating my best friend’s cousin for the summer? Yes, please! No strings, no risks, no problems. Camille I’m on a man-ban. That’s right, no dating for me. Until my radar for picking morons gets fixed, I’m on a look-but-don’t-touch policy. During a summer vacation at my best friend’s lake house, her cousin Bennett comes up with the perfect plan. If we pretend we’re together, his meddling family will butt out of our love lives. But as we spend time with each other, my traitorous heart has other ideas. Like falling for the widower who’s completely off-limits. It’s just my ...

Michael’s first book ended with his big break at the 2006 Royal Variety Performance. Waking up the next morning in the tiny rented flat he shared with his wife, Kitty, and their one-year-old son, he was beyond excited about the new glamorous world of show business. Unfortunately, he was also clueless. In A Funny Life, Michael honestly and hilariously shares the highs and the lows of his rise to the top and desperate attempts to stay there.

Meet the good egg. He’s a verrrrrry good egg indeed. But trying to be so good is hard when everyone else is plain ol’ rotten. As the other eggs in the dozen behave badly, the good egg starts to crack from all the pressure of feeling like he has to be perfect. So, he decides enough is enough! It’s time for him to make a change.... Jory John hatches a funny and charming story that reminds us of the importance of balance, self-care, and accepting those who we love (even if they are sometimes a bit rotten).

All Georgie Turner wants is to keep her family together. But with her daughter growing up fast, her sister married to a man Georgie hates, and their aging aunt getting more and more outrageous, nothing’s simple. So when her brother-in-law makes his biggest mistake yet, Georgie sees the chance to reunite the ladies in her life. And after a little persuasion, three generations of Turner women head off on a very unusual road trip. Georgie’s confident that some sun, sea and a bottle or two of prosecco will make this an adventure they’ll never forget. What could possibly go wrong?

You'll never look at a bodyguard the same way again. From Amazon best-selling author Regina Wade comes the Grumps Gone Wild Boxed Set: Three spicy standalone instalove romances featuring feisty heroines and the grumpy bodyguards that protect their hearts.

Comedy meets drama in this cosy, heart-warming tale of a man, his dogs, and his dreams. Join Mark as he struggles with zany patients, gets fleeced by his ex-wife, and makes a friend called “Shovelhead”. Sometimes Mark’s ahead, mostly the world tramples him into the dirt, but so long as he has his dogs to go home to, his caravan (which IS home), and now Diane - Mark’s optimism never falters. Well, hardly ever... “Eyes Up” is the story of a home-visiting optician, written by—a home-visiting optician! WHAT READERS HAVE SAID: ‘The Optometrist equivalent of James Herriot?’ ‘...

Nikki and her friends, Brandon, Chloe, and Zoey, are up for another adventure in the 11th book in the number-one New York Times best-selling Dork Diaries series.